Ok, So Revising Isn't Terrible

I'm glad I took a break earlier to blog--it seemed to clear my thinking on the revision process. In a true re-visioning fashion, I saw the chapter differently than what I was originally thinking. Chapter Three now has five sections. I pushed the early bio information into the intro and have rethought sections 2 and 3. Section 2 is completed--it continues the bio but uses her early life in the West to discuss Progressive era politics. Section 3 I will have to finish tomorrow because it is going to be long. I parallel changes in her personal politics, from Republican to Democratic to Progressive, to parallel changes in the politics of Blacks on the West as they desired to support political candidates with more enlightened racial policies. The chapter has better balance now. Once I finish Section 3, I'll go into Section 4 which is the meaty analysis of her speech. I wrote out a preliminary conclusion tonight (Section 5) and all I will need to add to it is a summary of my analysis in Section 4. So my energy is back up--Chapter Three is coming together quickly--17 pages of organized text so far! Praise the Lord!!

Quiet Sunday

I really hate revising. I had such great energy yesterday writing new text. But putting the pieces together has been slow going tonight. Hopefully in the next couple hours I can finish this--meaning sections 2, 3, 4 would be complete except for the few holes I need to fill in when I get that book from ILL. Then I can spend tomorrow writing the big analysis section. That'll be fun--this speech is just fascinating--one of the most interesting convention speeches I've read to date. Until then, back to the terrible work of revising. Yuck.

Very Pleased Indeed

Somehow, I managed to pull the right 30 books today. Whenever I go into a library for research, I always have a big list of books that generally give me bibliographies for the books I really need. But today, I was spot on. This was hugely important because Chapter Three deals with Progressive Era politics on the West coast and for someone who is much more versed in Antebellum politics in New England, I had a lot to learn in a short amount of time. I know I didn't get it all today, but I feel like I have enough meat to at least sound convincing. I have four solid pages of text and 12 more scattered pages that I need to clean up just from today's trip. Writing this chapter from scratch, unlike the last three which were based off of papers, actually feels easier at the moment. It's free of the weight of making something better. This time around I just get to create something new that is hopefully good enough. I feel so good about today's work that I am going to treat myself to some decadently sinful ice cream. Better hurry before they close...

Library Day

Why not spend my Saturday in the stacks?!

I'm moving a little slow this morning and I just checked the library hours--they close a little earlier than I realized for the weekend. So I need to get out of here in the next hour or so. Plan for today: get through a lot of the historical/background information of Chapter Three. If I can get 10-15 pages down today, I'll be very pleased.

Chapter Three Takes Shape

Today I am still in a transitional/organizational research mode. I continued some work on my syllabi today and have finally settled on the texts I will use for my spring seminar. This means that I have all my books picked out for the 2006-2007 school year!! I'm very excited to have that out of the way. I still need to go through and break down the page numbers (especially on my fall intro course since I'm using a new book)but I'll have to wait for my review copies as some of the books I'll be using next year are revised editions of books I already own. I also need to copy my electronic materials for one of my fall courses onto a CD so that they can be uploaded onto the course site. But all in all, it feels good to have at least one stage of the teaching prep work done.

I also started Chapter Three today. Two whole beautiful pages. Chapter Three will have six sections--intro, bio, party politics, campaign overview, textual analysis, and conclusion. I've been research sections 2-4 and my goal is to have those sketched out tomorrow while I'm at the library and perhaps completed by Sunday. Good start--gotta keep movin.

(Why doesn't it feel like Friday?)

Quiet Storm

Today should be a library day for me, but I have stayed up way too late tonight. Just got into a good groove listening to the Quiet Storm on Launchcast. Started cleaning up the office, cleaning up the diss, researching, and--of all things--working on one of my syllabi for Spring 07. I really must find more interesting things to do at 3 in the morning.

Plan for today (after I get some sleep of course):
--Reread my text for Chapter Three
--Surf for articles for Chapter Three
--Get down on paper a preliminary analysis of this text

If I can do those things, I'll be in a good position to have some good library time on Saturday.

Sad but True

Boy I could use one of these right now--I have a serious sugar cravin at the moment. Although, given a choice, I'd rather be a Caramel Macchiato, iced on a warm summer day...

You Are a Frappacino

At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet Your caffeine addiction level: low

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Me? Graduate Faculty?

So today I learn that I'm going to be added to my NewSchool department's graduate faculty--me teaching graduate classes?? Now when I applied for the position, I knew that there might be an opportunity to do graduate coursework in the FUTURE. But I was attracted to the school in part because it's the complete opposite of the huge graduate machine I know attend (or that is am officially affiliated with). This is a pleasant surprise though--I definitely wasn't expecting it now. The graduate program is very young and small at this point, but it's exciting to learn that my new Chair wants me to be a part of it as it grows and there is more student demand. It is also good to know that he is very invested in protecting new faculty members so I will have time to develop my undergraduate courses first.

Cool. Me. Graduate Faculty. Has a nice ring.

Seven or Three--Three or Seven

I keep going back and forth in my head about which chapter I should tackle next. Chapters Seven and Three are the last two I have to write. Chapter Three is the most historical of my content chapters, dealing with the 1950s, while Chapter Seven is a discussion of local political activities that occured just last year. Unlike any of my previous chapters, I do not have anything drafted on these two. What I must decide, and quickly, is which chapter I can get fully researched and mostly drafted by next week. Next week Dr. J is getting his wisdom teeth out and I promised him months ago I would be there with him. Since he'll be sleeping a lot while I'm there, I'll have plenty of time to finish writing the chapter--I just don't want to have to take any heavy research/books with me to his place.

I think I may be leaning towards Chapter Three. Given its historical nature, Chapter Three is going to be research intensive, but I think I can get that done in the next few days. I have a copy of the speech I'm analyzing so at most, I'll have to take it with me. Chapter Seven may be shorter and quicker BUT I have not decided which text I'm going to use for it yet. So I think it is most practical for me to begin work on Chapter Three while figuring out what to do in Chapter Seven.

So Three first, then Seven. Gracious. Today I will get organized:

1. I have quite a few articles here in the office already but I need to pull them out and put away the stuff I used for Chapter Five.
   
2. I will look at books that I need to tackle at the library and plan to make tomorrow a library day.
3. I will begin outlining ideas for Chapter Three and read through the speech a few more times.
4. Since I probably won't do any major writing today--I will take care of some formatting issues I'm having. I've been putting it off, but now is the time to really make sure my formatting is together.

I think that's it for today. I have a sorority meeting tonight so today is a good day for a shorter than usual working day.

Chapter Five--OUT!

Chapter Five is FINALLY off my desk. 3,208 MORE words later and a day full of revisions. Praise the Lord.

As frequently discussed on this blog, I love pressing the send button on a chapter. I don't necessarily like this chapter but the best dissertation is a -- you know the rest. Just glad to have another one done. 35 days and counting--it is getting tight. I'm trying not to let my overwhelming realism take over but man that doesn't seem like a lot of time to write two more chapters. Granted they will be smaller as the figures are less known and the texts I'm analyzing are much smaller than the last three. But still, two more chapters?! When will this torture end??!!

All latenight/earlymornin whining aside, I'll be back on the grind later today. Nothing to it but to do it right?

Back in Action

I had an excellent trip to see Granny. She is in wonderful spirits as always and her pain seems to be minimal as long as the nurses don't fuss with her leg. We had a grand time hanging out at the hospital and I was with her when she was transported to the rehab center yesterday. I helped her get settled in there and we just had a ball watchin "the stories" and talking about my mother and the nurses. I am in awe of my Granny's memory--at 80 she is just a marvel to listen to because she remembers sooo much. I think I must get my ability to remember names and faces from her--my mom is terrible about remembering people. In any event, she is doing wonderful--of course she is anxious to be back home but she likes the rehab center--as she told all the nurses, she was there 3 years ago and they treated her very well.

Seeing her was definitely a weight off, and it was a good time for me to go since my great-aunt's funeral was also today and my mother wanted to go to that. I did get some work done Monday--got around 1500 words and some revising in so I'm proud of that. I WILL finish this chapter today. To do:

• Write two paragraphs in the body.
• Write three more paragraphs in the body...sigh.
  
• Add two new summary sentences in the last section.
  
• Finish the conclusion (maybe two more paragraphs).
• Clean up the footnotes/bibliography.
• Final check for typos and wording.
  

I must get this off my desk. For real this time. I gotta get CRACKIN!!

It's a Holiday--You Gotta Comment

(Buttons available here...)

Yeah, I decided to play along. What can I say, I'm feelin bloggy. Kudos to my regulars who left me kind notes!!
It's Thursday and the week is winding down--add a comment before it's too late and you live in lurk-dom forever. This is especially for my international visitors who stop in to see me. All you gotta do is say Hi!

Dissertation Unplugged II

Haven't gotten any writing done today and it doesn't look likely before the night is through. But my disappointment is minimal--I'm packing up to go see Granny tomorrow. All reports say she is doing great so that is a Tremendous weight off of my heart. Look forward to seeing her smile tomorrow.

But of course, I'm taking the laptop on the road so I can do some work tomorrow night after we leave the hospital. I know--I got it bad. Hopefully I'll return Wednesday with a completed Chapter Five!!

Dissertation Unplugged

I wanted to leave the house to write today, but I didn't want to miss any calls from family. My house has become a central communication point because my mother did not take her phone charger with her to Granny's Town. So I unplugged the laptop and worked in the living room--a space I usually chill in. I got some good research and organization done, but no new text. Just couldn't focus. I'm about five seconds away from being really frustrated. I really can't have this chapter hanging over me next week--I'll try again tomorrow.

TGIS

Friday was a little rough--yesterday was a long day. I was up and movin from 8AM until around 3AM--craziness. I am thankful to have seen the day, but I am really feeling TGIS today.

Granny is doing ok. She made it through surgery fine and now has a metal plate in her thigh. That's a little scary but she's ok. It will be a long rehab, but she sure is a trooper.

I am at the 40 day mark--feelin a bit like Noah going into an ark for 40 days and nights--I know that man had to wonder if he was ever gonna get out of that durn boat. I am trying to get out of this dissertation/ABD boat ASAP. I want to leave CoChairs at least 10 days to go through the whole draft and return it to me so I can make changes before giving it to the rest of the committee. I know they probably need more time than that but I hope I can be persuasive in encouraging them to move quickly next month. So that leaves me 30 days to finish the last three parts of this project, Chapters Seven and Three and the conclusion. I have a good idea what the conclusion will look like, short, so hopefully that will only take a couple days--leaving me 24 days for two chapters. Yikes--sorry I'm thinking this through as I type. I definitely have to finish Chapter Five today--let me get crackin on that and worry about the rest of my 40 days in the boat tomorrow.

Taking the Good with the Bad

I'm completely out of sorts. I'm tired because I went to bed too late to get up as early as I did this morning. But I'm wired because I'm worried about Granny and I still (somehow) feel the urge to finish this chapter. How messed up is that.

My Granny is having surgery this afternoon--time unknown. She broke a bone in her thigh--the same side on which she had a hip replacement years ago and never regained full use of. It's good that she still has her strong side entact, but its rough knowing she's going into surgery at age 80 on a leg that is already vulnerable.

In the face of all this, I needed some good news from CoChair #1--we had a productive phone meeting and she took me through all four of the drafts. Almost all her comments were just typos--she praised the cleanliness of the drafts and without knowing it, she paid me the highest compliment that she could have--she told me they read together as a story. That's always my number one goal--to make scholarship readable over just being "scholarly." Call me crazy but I'd rather 50% of the population be able to read and learn from my work, over the 0.02% of scholars who might actually read me and cite me. I understand the game, and I will make sure my work is publishable in the "right" places--but that's a means to a greater end for me. So I'm glad she enjoyed just reading my work--especially since it's so long already. CoChair #1 of course is the "nicer" of my two chairs--both are nice people but CoChair #2 has the meaner red pen so to speak. Generally CoChair #2 gives me that strong eye for the field and how my work fits (and doesn't fit) into our discipline. But CoChair #1 gave me some great insights today on what I should be doing in my overall conclusion--she offered some of the themes she saw and gave me great direction. She indicated that a lot of the ideas she has about the project now were shaped by reading all the drafts together. So I feel encouraged knowing that the pieces are working together--but I look forward to getting the whole thing drafted so I can see for myself.

I'll take whatever good news I can get today

Broken

I am blessed to have been surrounded by older women all my life. For most of my childhood into my teen years, my family tree has been full of great-grandmothers, great- and greatgreat-aunts, and grandmas. My great grandmother on my mother's side was one of my favorite relatives--I miss her dearly--she passed in 1996 at the age of 91. Last year, we lost one of my great aunts--she died at the age of 101. This week I learned one of my aunts on my grandfather's side passed--I believe she was in her 80s. Even in the losses we've been blessed to have so much time with these women, who lived long lives but who were independent and self-sufficient and mentally sharp even into their last days.

Now both of my grandmothers are in their 80s. They live alone and they love their independence. They are both smart and funny women who have seen the ugly histories of the South and are still able to laugh and live and praise--even about the past. Neither tries to drive or anything like that, but they both take care of themselves and their homes and they maintain healthy social lives through their churches and neighborhoods (and soap operas--they both love the "stories"). I think that is wonderful. But either because they have reached a certain age, or because I have reached my mid20s and now feel more "responsible" and "sensitive"--I worry about them a lot. I pray for them and I know that God will take care of them better than I can, but my heart still worries. Worries that some evil person in this world will try to take advantage of them--or that their bodies will fail them before their mind does. And it's happening. My Grandma that lives 45 minutes away, fell this morning--I'm not sure how or where--and broke her leg. I don't have a ton of information, I just found out about 45 minutes ago and couldn't go back to sleep. I'm glad she's ok and that she had help--I know many older adults fall alone and no one knows. I'm especially worried because she had a stroke years ago while driving and had a terrible car accident in which she injured her hip. She never regained full mobility of that side, and as her arthritis has gotten worse over the years she has to use a walker to get around, so this is going to increase her difficulties moving about. I know she'll be okay--she has an amazing strength and her spirit is always cheerful. All I can do now is pray.

Fading Fast

My internal Energizer Bunny is running on some Rayovacs tonight---don't act like you don't have some Rayovacs in a remote somewhere, the one you gotta tap the back first or put some tape on it for it to work. That's beside the point. Sad truth is: I'm not gonna make it to the finish line tonight. Sorry, no inspirational story this week from the machine that is known as Mon. But, be of good courage--it was a valiant effort. And that makes me feel good. I don't mind not reaching my crazy goals when I have productive days. So considering I put in a 12 hour day, I can live with another day of being behind the 8ball. Just wasn't quite enough. Not today at least. I'll see what I can get done before all my concentration is gone tonight--but looks like I'll be in bed soon and I'll be back at Chapter Five tomorrow. This durn conclusion is going to get on my last nerves (and its going to be brief when I eventually get to it!).

Looking forward to my phone chat with CoChair #1 in the afternoon, and I'm especially curious to see if the elusive CoChair #2 (who is a couple chapters behind CC#1) will join us. TGIF.

Intermission

Today's library trip was great! Apparently, now that school is back in session, books are reshelved much faster by the army of work study students so everything I needed was where it was supposed to be today. That made for a quick trip to the stacks and left me hours to just pour through my books and their bibliographies. I had a wonderfully intellectual afternoon and I wrote about 1000 words in the process so I'm just feeling great about this day so far.

It's break time--back at home for some dinner. After I eat, it's back on the grind. I used the same technique on this draft that I did on the last. Rather than forcing myself to write straight through the chapter, I left some things in bold that just say need transition here or come up with a stronger summary sentence here. So now that all my sources are out of the way, I need to go back through and fill in those bold commands, write those last paragraphs I didn't finish yesterday, and come up with a conclusion. I'm using my phone meeting with CoChair #1 tomorrow afternoon as my new deadline--will I make it?! (Oh the suspense!)

Healthy Start

You can't be your best
You can't be your best
If--you don't eat a good breakfast.

I'm singing silly commercial jingles because I'm just floating right now. For once I woke up before 10AM when I didn't have to and I actually did some work. (The magnitude of this may escape those who don't really know me but suffice it to say this is Phenomenal and Extraordinary). I didn't look up those sources last night, so I've been scouring the library catalog this morning. I'll probably do a little more work here at home before going down to HBU library--parking is pretty bad down there now that school is back in session. But I'm feeling good about the day--my energy is up and I'm looking forward to completing this Chapter Five draft today.

But more importantly, Dr. J just sent me the most beautiful card in the mail. The card is simple and cute and he wrote THE most encouraging message to me inside. It was just what I needed; I'm just floating on cloud nine right now. I don't write a lot here about how wonderful Dr. J is or how I really feel about him--and to some extent, I don't know why that is. Perhaps after I finish this chapter, I'll write a nice long piece about how Dr. J has made this entire dissertation process bearable but more importantly, how he makes my life feel more complete....

Hair

RV recently expressed the difficulties of movin on from a good hair stylist. Moving on to someone new has been a horrible process for me since I returned from CollegeTown so I keep going to the stylist in my Grandma's town--45 minutes away. I've been putting off the trip forever but it had to be done today. A day of waiting in a Black hair salon unfortunately means a day of little to no work being done. I'm too worn out to work tonight--I'm going to look up some books I need from the library and that will probably be that for tonight.

Sigh. Tomorrow's work will hopefully be a lot more inspirational than today's, and I'm still VERY optimistic about pressing the "send" button on Chapter Five this week!

Closer

But not there yet. 1300 words in and I didn't finish this last section. Why? Not because of a lack of effort, focus, energy, or time put in; solely because of the 852 (seriously) newspaper articles I had to go through on-line, a small majority of which I had to document. Geez. I could stay up to finish but it's 2AM and I gotta travel tomorrow. I have three more points to cover in this section--that should take most of my available time tomorrow, but hopefully I can get the conclusion knocked out too (fingers crossed). I may write that first tomorrow as it should not take as much documentation as the rest of this section.

Late

I'll be late for that...

Gettin a real late start to writing today. This feels more like the old days--not getting started until after everything else is done for the day. What can I say--I'm just late for that....

I have one more section to finish which I can hopefully knock out tonight. Tomorrow morning I'm going to try to do the conclusion before I go out of town for the day. Then Thursday I can spend in the library adding some sources to the main body of the chapter that's already written and going through revisions. A little behind my internal clock as always but the possibility of pressing the infamous "send" button on Friday works fine for me.

***Big congrats to abd me on landing that first campus invite and best wishes!!***

Keep On Going

So I got to keep on going on
And I can't stop for nothing
So I got to keep on going on and on and on

One of my favorite Vivian Green songs. Don't know why I've been feeling so musical lately. It's a phase--it will pass. But I like this song because it's very much me:

I've gotta hold my head up high
Can't settle for just a little bit of sky
Can't be afraid to spread my wings and fly
I've gotta turn my dreams into life

So maybe I'm not in a rut--at least not one I can't climb out of. Being at the computer all day--as depressing as it is at times--is an expression of my inability to settle for less than my dreams. I want this PhD and it will be mine very soon.

So I got to keep on going on and on and on

Good news is that I'm about 1500 words into Chapter Five; Bad news is that is just one of the three sections I need to finish. I should finish this section shortly and I'll start on next one tonight. I most likely won't get to the revisions and conclusion that I need to do until tomorrow, but that's okay. As long as I keep on going on.

Ants Marching

He wakes up in the morning--Does his teeth bite to eat and he's rollin'
Never changes a thing--The week ends the week begins.

I hate that this dissertation makes me feel like I'm in a rut. I get up, I shower, I putz around for a bit and then I sit down at the computer. Then, unless I go to the library or something, if I'm really working, I just sit here and work all day. I recognize that I could vary my routine more--I could exercise more for sure--I could nap less. But in the end, what unfortunately works for me is just endless hours at the computer all week and then a couple days of doing nothing. I just wish it wasn't so. I'm longing for the distractions of teaching and struggling to find time for writing--I miss the hustle and bustle of school. As my NewSchool's semester starts today, I can't help but wish I was there. It won't be long; but, sooner I finish this diss, the better.

Today's game plan: Figure out if I want to write Chapter Seven this week or finish Chapter Five. The latter would be the more efficient course of action, but I keep stalling on that chapter for some reason.

Five Weird Things Meme

Courtesy of abd me...

Five weird things about me--And I should have asked Dr. J to fill this out for me...
1) I hate feet. Don't care whose they are, I don't like 'em, don't wanna see 'em and I definitely don't wanna rub 'em.
2) I like matches. I just do.
3) I love sweet and sour sauce with my French fries.
4) I absolutely can't wear jeans in my house--it drives me nuts. If I wear jeans to go out, I have to take them off immediately when I get home and put on some sweatpants or something.
5) I eat all the chocolate off of a Kit Kat bar first before I eat the wafers.

Ok--I'm taggin anyone who reads this and hasn't done it yet.

Gotta Go

I gotta go. I gotta leave.
So please don’t make it hard for me.

Man I'm ready to move. Instead of writing tonight as I should have, I spent the evening sleeping and looking for places to live in NewSchoolCity. I keep going back and forth about the whole apartment vs. home thing. Right now I'm leaning towards an apartment because:
1) I don't have money to save up for a down payment on a home.
2) I don't have money.
c) I really don't have money right now.
But I feel like I'm supposed to be looking for a house. I'm trying to talk myself into a year in an apartment and then I'll reevaluate. That seems like the smart thing to do given my finances, but I still feel torn. We'll see. Thinking about it used up a lot of energy tonight that I should have put toward the diss, so I'm going to try to keep that on the back burner until March.

Sigh.

Keep On Movin'

Keep on movin'
Don't stop--Fight the hands of time

This was a hard afternoon. I won't whine, but I really didn't feel like doing any writing today. I think I could have slept all day. I managed to write the introduction section to Chapter Five, but my school's library databases are down today so I couldn't start on section two. I was able to use the public library's system to get some local sources I needed for Chapter Seven--so it was quite unexpected when I started that chapter today. Just wrote a paragraph, but it's a start.

Hopefully the library catalog will cooperate tomorrow, and it will be a working Sunday. If I can knock out sections two and three (the biography and background politics), that would give me all day Monday to revise and add some more information to the sections I already have, and all day Tuesday to work up a conclusion. I'll be a little behind schedule, but that will get Chapter Five out before the end of next week so I won't complain too much. Gotta just keep on movin.

Four Things Meme

It's like the flu, it's going around...

Four jobs I've had:
1) Retail Sales: I've hustled shoes and bras--both were interesting. Shoes was more of a hustle and lot more fun, but there's nothing like an old lady lifting her shirt in the middle of a store to remind you why you have to finish your education.
2) File Clerk, Receptionist, Secretary--various jobs of a clerical nature as a youth.
3) Telephone Operator--Working directory assistance for a military base--soldiers are funny.
4) Media Tech--My best undergraduate job because it paid well and we got to see all the newest movies first.

Four movies I've seen more than once
1) My Fair Lady
2) Aladdin
3) Matrix
4) Coming to America

Four places I'’ve lived
1) Lived in the same house all my life growing up in the South and I'm back there now
2) 4 Dorm Rooms in college with the same roommate all 4 years
3) 2 Apartments in CollegeTown up North
4) The new job will be the fourth place I've lived

Four TV shows I've seen more than one episode of
1) The Cosby Show
2) Alias
3) Real World
4) Saved By the Bell

Four places I've been on vacation
1) Dollywood, TN
2) Times Square, NY
3) DisneyWorld, FL
4) Mariner of the Seas

Four blogs I visit daily
Check my blogroll--I visit most of those folks regularly

Four Favorite Foods
1) Chocolate
2) Shrimp
3) Sweet Potatoes
4) Bread

Four places I'd rather be
1) With Dr. J
2) My New School City
3) San Diego
4) A Resort Spa just about anywhere

The four CDs I listened to most recently
1) In This Life Together--Kindred
2) Under The Table and Dreaming--DMB
3) Greatest Hits--Lenny Kravitz
4) Dangerously in Love--Beyonce

Last four vehicles I've owned
1) Honda Civic
2) Honda Accord
3) Had a Saturn for a few days
4) Drove my roommate's car all the time in college does that count? A Toyota Camry

Things in my life that come in fours
1) Mom has 4 brothers
2) My wisdom teeth
3) Committee Members
4) ....

Amended just to tag j. dryden

Goodbye Morning

Hello Morning, Now when does the fun begin?
Goodbye Morning, Sorry it had to end

I slept way too late this morning. I had no idea what time it was. It was one of those mornings in which the house was so still and the street was so quiet, that I thought I woke up early for once. I just knew it was about 9 or 10 in the morning--but it was actually 1:00 in the afternoon. Oh well.

Late start to the day means a late night of writing. Today I gotta get some serious pages in on Chapter Five so I can get this thing out next week. My next phone meeting with CoChair #1 is Friday so I want to have Chapter Five done by then if not sooner.

I stayed just a little too long--Now it's time for me to move on

Testify!

You gonna touch the sky baby girl! Testify!

Another chapter on the way to the CoChairs!! I finally got through Chapter One. It has really grown by significant proportions so it took me a while to do the final proofread, but fortunately I got through what I had left to do from last night pretty quickly. Chapter One looks a lot more like a chapter now as opposed to the comp answer/dissertation proposal from which it was derived. We'll see if it is "meaty" enough for CoChair #2...

Time to treat myself to some dessert and some conversation with Dr. J. Perhaps after that I'll conquer the pile of clothes in my room and make something to eat for later. Then I'll think about going at it with Chapter Five. Key words--think about.

New Day

It's a new day, Open my eyes and my path is clearer
New Day--Pushing ahead till my goal gets nearer

Alright today is the big day to finish these Chapter One revisions and dig in on Chapter Five! I'm going to try to make the Chapter One revisions quick because I know it will be the last document I revise, but I want to reduce my work on the back end and make sure my thinking on this whole project is clear.

Academic coach's post about turning dissertations into books was very timely for me because I keep going back and forth as to what I should do with this project. My gut is to go with articles because my new position seems to be more concerned about numbers of pubs. And I always thought my MA thesis would make a much stronger book project. But given that I've written this diss so quickly, I am wondering if I should pull out a couple chapters for articles and then reinvent the project a bit for a book. I know that would be more work so perhaps I shouldn't even think about that plan, but I have some ideas that would make for a much more marketable book than what I think I will have when I'm done. I know my committee will tell me their opinions at my defense, but I'm trying to prepare myself now. If I need to make the major changes am I thinking of for a book (if a book is better), then finishing soon becomes important also so I can start on my book project before classes start. Hmmm..I have to marinate on this whole thing some more...

Back to work.

Before I Let Go

You made me happy, this you can bet--You stood right beside me, And I won't forget....

I'm gettin my old school groove on tonight while revising. These three pages of revisions should not take this long and I need to stop making more work for myself. Thanks to my excellent reorganization skills, I need to add two new paragraphs to Chapter One.

I had a good day at the library today and got all the sources I needed--I discovered the joys of the reshelving shelves at HBU library which apparently still held all the books I looked at on my last visit. My footnotes like a lot more "meaty" now which should please CoChair #2 greatly. Speaking of the boss, CoChair #1 called me tonight to set up a phone meeting for next week to discuss the last two chapters I sent. She sounded pleased--whew.

Before I call it a night, I have a few more sentences to tinker with. I'm saving those last two paragraphs for tomorrow. I'm behind schedule of course but I will have this bad boy out tomorrow. For real this time.

Work It Out

Before the work--Happy Birthday Spec!

Now Mon Mon's Work Out Plan--That's right put in work, eat your salad no dessert...
1) The Article: Consulted the CoChairs and waiting for feedback on that one. I have one or two interdisciplinary outlets in mind and with this piece, I think I should lean more towards women/gender studies than race because it has more implications for women's history. We'll see what the CoChairs say...

2) Chapter One: It is now officially in the "get this thing off my desk" phase. I am headed back to HBU to get those last books I need and I'll probably stay down there to rewrite the sections I keep tinkering with. Hopefully, it will be ready to send off tonight.

3) Chapter Five: This piece is calling my name--loudly. While I'm at HBU, I also need to copy some reference materials for this chapter. Perhaps I can knock off some pages on it tonight as well. I think I figured out how I want to intro the chapter--I need to get that on paper.

It's back to the grind!

Typical Situation

Football could not pull my attention away from the writing tonight. But the writing hasn't been too spectacular. I've been picking away at Chapter One revisions--necessary work but it feels more like busywork. I have all the footnotes taken care of except for four, and all the pages look good except for three near the beginning that I want to tweak some more tomorrow. I'm going to browse the HBU library catalog a bit before I sign off for the night to make sure I pick up all the sources I need on my next trip for Chapter Five. If I can stop fussing over these revisions, I can get on with Chapter Five and finish that up in the next week or so.

Live and Learn

Well, I made the wrong decision. My essay I submitted for publication way back when (it was stalled by Katrina) did not land. I don't know completely how I feel yet. I knew it was a gamble to go outside my field, but it felt more comfortable at the time because the feedback I'd previously received on the work said it was too historical for my area. But apparently it wasn't historical enough for the historians. So what's a girl to do?? I need to do some searching for another journal--quick. I have to get it back out under review ASAP.

9 Week Philosophy

First, thanks for the kind notes yesterday. I am unfortunately a little sick and my body needed that rest more than I realized. Dr. J is now officially back in his UniversityTown and I am of course sad. With his semester and the end of my diss underway, I have no idea when I'll see him again. It could be over a month. Sigh.

Dr. J went to dinner with my mother and I last night. It was nice except that my mother expressed her usual skepticism about my work. That kinda sucked. I brushed it off for the rest of the evening, but as Dr. J and I debriefed later he shared with me his thoughts....

Remember back in grade school, we did everything in nine week periods--wrote papers, memorized science, took math tests, read literature and history, did many after school activities, etc. And we did it all in nine weeks at a time. We never thought that was a short amount of time. It was always rushed but just enough time.

That really put the May graduation deadline into perspective for me, and I appreciate Dr. J just tellin me that he believed I could do it. It was needed after my mother's usual pessimism about everything that I do. So despite my sadness today after Dr. J left, I got some good work done at the library on those sources I needed for Chapter One. The bad thing about being at such a big library though is that I found a lot of extra books just browsing around. So I ran out of time and didn't get to about five books I really needed to look at. I may have to go back and get those tomorrow. Yeah, I will, because I need to make some copies for Chapter Five as well.

In the end, I spent 3.5 hours at HBU library this afternoon, and I'll probably work from now until the Rose Bowl comes on. Or maybe I'll just watch the second half. Either way, football will be my break for the evening. Hopefully I can get this Chapter One close to going out before then, if not completely finished.

Bum Day

Yesterday I was a bum all day. And I mean that in the most derogatory sense of the word. I could have worked but I didn't. I didn't do a durn thing but think about work. I sat and the computer for a little while--played with some things in Chapter One and then my behind was parked on the couch for the rest of the day. It is rare that I feel that lazy but something has been over me since Sunday. I took a 4 hour nap on Sunday and slept for at least 12 hours Sunday night. Yesterday I napped on and off all day. I feel a little more alert today, but my energy is LOW. Don't know why.

Dr. J's last day/night in our SouthernState is today. He's headed back to his UniversityTown tomorrow morning to get ready for the semester. I'm excited he is coming to see me in a bit, but of course sad that he won't be so close by now that the holiday break is over. But he's offered to spend the afternoon with me in HBU library to help me pull all these books I need to finish Chapter One. How sweet is that. So hopefully I can put the last major work of Chapter One behind me today and get it sent off tomorrow. I can't have anymore lazy days like yesterday--that was just TERRIBLE!

New Year, Same Grind

Getting back to work after a good New Year's weekend just plain sucks. But I must press on.

I really wish HBU library was open today. If I had all my sources, I could just finish Chapter One and send it back to the CoChairs. My momentum is still kind of with that Chapter so it's going to be a little rough to do what I need to do today. I need to get going on finishing up Chapter Five. Although my previous remarks on the paper indicated I just needed a conclusion, I've figured out that I need FOUR new sections for the chapter to parallel the other content chapters. Chapter Five needs:

--A Brand new introduction
--Biography section
--Previous campaigning and perhaps a discussion of some post campaign "drama"
--Conclusion

I have no idea where I want to jump in, but I'll probably start with the biography today and the previous campaigning. I need some vignette from her life to open the chapter and I haven't found that yet.

It's going to be a long day. It is cold and rainy outside and I'd rather be in bed than writing. But I must press on.

2005 Meme

No work for me today, it's New Year's Eve--let the fun begin. I saw this one around a couple places, but changed some of the questions to protect the innocent.

1) Was 2005 a good year for you? Yes!

2) What was your favorite moment of the year? Meeting Dr. J.

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year? Studying for/Taking my comprehensive exams.

4) Where were you when 2005 began? At home.

5) Who were you with? No one.

6) Where will you be when 2005 ends? Hopefully somewhere fun.

7) Who will you be with when 2005 ends? Dr. J

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005? I didn't make one.

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2006? To live with purpose. To take good care of myself and those I love. To have some fun.

10) Did you fall in love in 2005? Yes

11) If yes, with who? Dr. J

12) If yes, do they know? Yes (dumb question).

13) Are you still in love with them? More and more every day.

14) Do regret it? Of course not.

15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2005? Hmm. Do permanent disassociations count?

16) Did you make any new friends in 2005? Yes.

17) Who are your favorite new friends? Dr. J of course and my new Down South sorors.

18) What was your favorite month of 2005? Hmm, good question. The summer months were great. I defended my proposal, went on my first cruise, left CollegeTown, and met Dr. J!!

19) Did you travel outside of your country in 2005? Yes.

20) How many different states did you travel to in 2005? 10

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005? No, not by death.

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year? Yes.

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005? Nothing stands out. Favorite movie going experience was Diary of a Mad Black Woman. Wasn't that 2004? Well my favorite theatre experience was Spring 2005 seeing Tyler Perry's play Madea Goes to Jail--I have never laughed so much at anything in my entire life.

24) What was your favorite song from 2005? "Laffy Taffy" JUST KIDDING--can't pick one.

25) What was your favorite album of 2005? Kindred and the Family Soul--In This Life Together

26) What was your favorite book of 2005? Between comps and dissertation, it is so hard to pick a favorite. Favorite book that was given to me this year was The Purpose Driven Life.

27) What was your favorite dining experience of 2005? Going to the Melting Pot.

28) How many concerts did you attend in 2005? None.

29) Did you have a favorite concert in 2005? N/A

30) What news event will you remember most from 2005? Hurricane Katrina and the aftermath.

31) Did you do anything you are ashamed in 2005? No.

32) What was the biggest lie you told in 2005? Lied to myself, thinking I could move back home for a year without going crazy.

33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005? That they could be trusted.

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2005? I could have done better by someone.

35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2005? Someone could have done better by me.

36) How much money did you spend in 2005? Most of the money I had.

37) What was your proudest moment of 2005? When my committee told me my comp answers were outstanding and then they had no real questions for me.

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005? Gotta think on that one some more....

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005, you would...? Probably go back to the day I met Dr. J and take a tape recorder because neither of us can remember all of that first conversation which lasted for hours.

40) What are your plans for 2006? Professionally--Finish my dissertation, graduate, move to beautiful NewSchoolCity and have a great start to my tenure track. Personally--Keep workin on me, Grow spiritually, Getting to know Dr. J better, Get closer to being out of DEBT, Make some new non-school friends in NewSchoolCity....List goes on

Happy New Year!!!

Major Research Day

For Chapter Five and I studying the internet campaign of an African American women politician. I had some copies of the files stored on my computer during her campaign, but it didn't occur to me at the time that the site would change or go down one day. Duh. So I spent a few months looking for archives. One day I found the Internet Archive: Wayback Machine which archives all types of sites--it is a lifesaver. The cool thing is that it has the site I'm looking at before I started this project last year, so I get to see it in its first stages of development. It doesn't have everything on the site--but a good bit. So I've spent some hours today just studying the archives, collecting images, and saving copies of what I can so I'll have plenty to write about later. I think this may be the last of the dissertation work I do in 2005!!

Step Away From the Keyboard

I need help. I have been sitting here pretty much since I wrote: 2 Days 4 1 More Task. I am understanding how a lot of my friends gained weight while writing their diss. I keep bringing plates of food and snacks back to the office--that's not healthy. Durn dissertation process is not healthy.

I could keep going for another hour or two--I really wanted to be done with this chapter before the ball drops for New Year. But I really need to stop. This is getting ridiculous. CoChair was not kidding when she said Chapter One would require at least 2 or 3 days of work. But that was not an instruction for me to attempt to revise for 48-72 hours in a row. But reality is, I think I've satisfied all of her issues. There are just one or two I'm going to disagree with, but she was right on in her comments. It's good to have helpful feedback. All I really have left to do with this chapter is find some more sources. I found the call numbers for about 30 books at HBU library that should help me out. So I'm all ready to go down there tomorrow.

But of course, after all this work today, I just remembered--HBU is closed tomorrow.

Sigh. Why didn't I take my lazy behind to the library today? Oh yeah, cuz I'm lazy. Oh well. Since I spent all day on Chapter One and it is pretty much ready to go except for the sources, tomorrow I'll spend my work hours on Chapter Five. After that, I'll head to the mall as my end of the work week treat--I got some Express giftcard money to spend.

Electronic Dissertation

In the not so distant future, my R1 institution will join the ranks of others in requiring that PhD students submit their dissertation electronically. This gives institutions around the world greater access to the work, and I believe allows the clearinghouse to sell your dissertation to whomever would like to buy it. Fortunately, I fall under the ol' grandfather clause and won't be affected by this new "rule." For the time being, I have the option of a paper vs. electronic dissertation.

I personally like the oldfashioned paper route and would like to have an oldfashioned bound copy of my dissertation like I do for my MA thesis. And frankly the hoops you have to go through to protect your work with the electronic dissertation process are a little intimidating. And , despite claims that I'm a machine, I am quite lazy. Paper seems easier and less infringing on my future publication plans.

But maybe I'm missing something. Are there some dramatically wonderful reasons why I should go the electronic dissertation route??

Cute

Your Love Quote

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.

What Love Quote Suits You?

Now back to work...

2 Days 4 1 More Task

First, many congrats to Professor Me bka Acade(me) who has perhaps found her new academic home. I wish you well on a smooth and productive negotiation process! (And I'm considering your dissertation counter proposal--see the comments from yesterday).

We are down to the last two weekdays of the year and weekdays for me are always workdays. My orginal goal for these last two days was to revise my Chapter One. I should probably get going on that but part of me would rather start on Chapter Five. I presented a version of Chapter Five at my Major Conference last month. The respondent, who is a well recognized scholar in this area, believed that Chapter Five was close to "pleasing my advisor." Her only recommendation was that I really needed to work on a conclusion. That wouldn't take moreo than a day or two to finish. But I know I also need to beef up the biography section of that chapter so that it matches the others. Oh the conflict. Perhaps I'll split the difference and spend 4 hours on Chapter One this afternoon and then 4 hours on Chapter Five this evening. Hmmmm.....

Chapter Four--OUT!!

I love days on which I finish chapter drafts. It's raining outside, but I can hardly tell--I feel so bright and sunny. Chapter Four is off to the CoChairs and it feels GREAT to have it off my desk before the New Year. I wonder when I'll get some feedback on it....

In other news, I went to the public library and checked out a bunch of books to look over for my Spring seminar on Black women. I'm so excited about that class. It is going to be hard to narrow down the books I want to use for this course. I want to do a mix of secondary texts and autobiographies--we'll see. I'm looking forward to reading these texts and can't wait until I'm officially a professor so I can get some desk copies.

Getting Closer

My 12 hour work day should have ended with a complete chapter, but there was just a lot more to get through in this last section than I realized (story of my dissertation). This chapter is just getting longer and longer. Sigh. I am about three paragraphs short of being finished with Chapter Four. I am going to get some sleep so I can write those and proofread the entire thing tomorrow. Hopefully, I can have all that done by the afternoon so I can start in on revising Chapter One.

Make it a Good One

It is the last week of the year. This year has gone by way too fast. So although I don't consistently make New Year's resolutions, I am resolved this year to make a resolution for the last week of the year--I need to make it a good one. I rested most of yesterday and reread the last half of my primary text that is the focus of Chapter Four. I'm glad I reread it because I definitely missed some things the first couple times through. Today, I thought about making my "return things to the mall" trip, but I think that can wait. I want today to be a great day of finishing my concluding section to this chapter. Tomorrow morning I will get up an proofread it and send it off to my Chairs. Then I'll head down to HBU library to get some sources I need to revise Chapter One. CoChair #2 promised that it shouldn't take more than two days to get through her revisions. I've been putting them off for months now largely because that's about 46 more hours than I really wanted to spend on that chapter. But I will give it my all Wednesday and Thursday so that I can send it back on Friday. Once I get these two out, I will be in the mood to really celebrate my first New Year's Eve with Dr. John. I'm not sure yet what we're doing but I'm sure we'll make it a good one.

Winding down

The last guest has left. The christmas cheer has come and gone. I'm sleepy and should be in bed. But what do I do after such a wonderful (and I mean Wonderful Christmas day)?

I pick up a book to catch up on some reading I need to do to write a new concluding section to the diss. Now that ain't right.

Merry Christmas!!

I completed my holiday shopping in a record (for me) two hours. Got my family and Dr. J's family knocked out. But I realized something. I miss the days when I could just say Merry Christmas without batting an eye. Now I gotta think, should I send so-and-so a Merry Christmas or a Happy Holiday or a Season's Greetings card. Maybe that's why I didn't send cards out this year. Everything has gotten too doggone complicated. I'm not nostalgic about many things in the past (after all I'm an 80s baby and goodness knows we all barely made it out of that decade in one piece), but I do miss a good ol' Merry Christmas. Just Merry Christmas. Do the Salvation Army bell ringers even say Merry Christmas anymore?? Such a rip-off. And don't get me started on this whole, "let's not have church on Christmas Sunday" trend! Hello people! Next you gonna tell me that there's no church on Easter Sunday--just ludicrous I tell ya!! If that's the case we might as well go back to work on Christmas, I'll even teach a class, and the post office can bring me my durn mail while I'm at work. Geez. This is Christmas, not Columbus Day--now that's a holiday we can "contemplate" at home while watching a video--did u hear about the church that is sending the congregation home with DVDs to watch on Christmas?? Sigh let me stop before I really go off. Please if you see me on the street--please say Merry Christmas, that would make my day.

In other much better and brighter news, I finished all those durn books. Last one I had to read was John Kerry's A Call to Service. Sigh. All of the books I read this week were very straightforward and quick. But I did read (and not grad school skim) read five books this week. That was some great mental exercise. I need to get on a book-a-day diet. I think I've been working so well this week, in part, because I've been reading a lot. Possible dissertation tip?: Put words in to get words out?? Hmmm...

I spent a couple hours tonight and just knocked out the rest of this genre section. Only took 778 words, some deleting and rewriting to polish that section off. It is now complete. I'm sure what I just wrote needs some proofing, but I'm not going to look at it tonight. I am off for Christmas. I'll give the whole thing a clean-up when I finish the concluding section after Christmas. Things are continuing to look up for this chapter being off my desk by the 28th!!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight!!

Onward I Go

Thanks for the encouraging words from those of you who commented on my post yesterday. I didn't realize how much I needed them. I got a wonderful "pep talk" from Dr. J last night too and I feel ready to take on this challenge. Finishing in the next 60 something odd days is not impossible--it's just a tremendous challenge. And Dr. J is right, I don't give myself enough credit for the hard work I do. So I'm just going to try and stay focused and see if I can do it. Worse case scenario, I don't defend until April or something--best case scenario, I wrap this bad boy up in February and defend in time to graduate in May. Man that would be FANTASTIC.

So today, I shop. Tonight, I write. Try to finish this genre section and dig into the rest of my revisions for Chapter One. Tomorrow I get up and hit the road to spend Christmas Eve with Dr. J and his family. No writing on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Christmas Day I'll be here with my family. I'm slowly getting into the spirit (a little late I know) but I had to let some of this work stress go first. I'm looking forward to good food. But today, I shop and tonight, I write.

24/7 Dissertation

For the next two months, I must eat-sleep-breathe my dissertation if I want to possibly graduate in May. For reasons unbeknownst to me, I must defend by early March in order to graduate in May. So I've added this nice little ticker to my blog to remind me of how very little time there is between now and the end of February (which is when I'd have to have this thing together to defend my early March). Why do schools make such deadlines??

Now fortunately, my job does not require that I graduate in May, so at least I do not have that added pressure. As long as my PhD is in hand by August graduation, the good people at my New School will be happy to start my tenure clock. But I really want to walk across that stage in May. Is it incredibly realistic? Probably not. I'm about a month/a chapter behind where I planned to be at this point.

But I figure, there is no harm in trying. By defending in March/graduating in May, I give myself some genuine time off from school. I finish my dissertation at the same time my fellowship ends, meaning that I don't have to figure out how to pay summer out-of-state tuition so I can graduate in August. If I have to do that, I know I can manage--I'm sure I'll be working this summer--but if I can avoid spending extra money on tuition that could go towards a nice downpayment for a new place in New School City, that would be ideal.

So the pressure is on, and time is running down quickly--will I make it????

Paper or Plastic?

I'm having a tough time today deciding if I should spend the afternoon on my paper or grad my wallet full of plastic and head to the mall. I haven't purchased a single Christmas gift, except for Dr. John's which I bought at the same time I bought his birthday presents. My mother is the only other person I really have to buy a present for--she likes opening gifts. Everyone else can get a gift card. Well maybe I should get Dr. John's mom a real gift too. But then, he has three mommas so that opens the door to buying everybody something. Sigh. I don't feel like shopping. Just like I didn't feel like sending out any cards this year. My mind is on this paper. I generally end up shopping the day before Christmas anyways, but usually that's planned procrastination. This year it looks like its going to be real procrastination. I think I will work on the paper for the rest of the day and make a detailed list of what I need to buy tomorrow and Saturday. Tomorrow I shope for the "real" gifts, hopefully I'll see things that I like and can pick up my giftcards too. I think I'd have more energy for shopping (which I love) if this chapter was done already.

Realization

Realization: I cannot wait to be done with this dissertation.

I know that is pretty obvious--who in their right mind would want to stay in the dissertation phase forever?? But as I was trudging through these very quiet and dark stacks today, I realized that I would much rather be researching materials for my classes right now. It took a lot of effort to stay focused on the task at hand today, and while I was successful in completing my research for this chapter, I don't feel completely satisfied,because I wasn't really doing what I wanted to do. I kept making mental notes to "come back to this section for books for my seminar" as I ran into interesting new areas of books I don't normally wander in. I saw a ton of books I wanted to purchase with my start-up funds in the fall, but had to reign myself in and stay on the job of research for this durn chapter.

So I realized today, I am really ready to be a professor. I am looking forward to teaching and research when I am not in the student mode. What ultimately sucks about being a student (even one away from campus) is that you can't research and be completely on your own accord. I'm in the library today, not learning, but looking up sources for my chapter--not because I really think I need them--but because one of my committee members is really anal and has asked for more sources in his/her revisions. Being in the student mode for 20+ years of my life has gotten old--I am tired of doing homework. Today was definitely a homework type day. As I told my soror the other day over lunch, I have been in school since I was like 3 or 4. I am ready to be done. Ok, this is not a new feeling--it is not the most enlightened realization I've ever had, but it hit me really hard today. Being a student has gotten on my LAST nerve and I can't wait to be done. Dr. John tried very hard to be motivational for me today--telling me how proud he is of me for all the work I've accomplished already this week, and that I should be proud too. But regardless of all the work I've done in the past few days, I just don't feel satisfied--I am ready to be DONE with this thing. I am ready to do some real estate shopping; ready to move; ready to have my own office; ready for much more than I have now. 2006 is going to be a great year, Lord willing, since I will finally be done with being a student. I am looking forward to that--very much.

I was going to do some more writing tonight, but my head is swimming and I've been looking at this screen all day. (I did take my laptop down to HBU). I think I will relax and see if I can knock out two of these books tonight....

Back 2 School

Finished boring book #2 last night. It was a quick read. I think I'll read Clinton's Between Hope and History next. I'm heading back to HBU this afternoon to get those last sources I need. I'm moving really slow--I need to get my tail in gear. I may take my laptop and do some writing down there. I'm excited about getting a handle on this crazy chapter. Did I mention I'm ready to get this thing off of my desk???

Major Work Done

I'm groovin on these revisions--finally. Took care of all the missing citations except for one that I completely forgot to look up today. I'll have to definitely head back to HBU tomorrow to get it. Now I can move on to the two major things that are holding up this chapter: the genre section (which requires reading these dull books) and the concluding section. I thought I was going to have three components, but I see now that the chapter just needs a larger concluding section to address the information I felt was missing at the end of the analysis. So the sooner I can get through these dull books, the sooner I can finish this bad boy. It would be soooo wonderful to have this done before I see Dr. J for Christmas. I'm trying to let that be my motivation, but there is a lot of work to be done. Unfortunately, this chapter is becoming another "Stay Puft Marshmallow Chapter" but I'm not going to fight it. If it is another 50 pager, oh well, the advisors can cut it down for me. I'd rather give them too much than not enough. My goal was to keep my analysis chapters short, 25-30 pages max, but so far that strategy is not working. The 800 words I added tonight pushed me over the 30 mark and I would guess it's going to grow by 5-10 more pages. This dissertation is definitely shaping up to be a hefty sized book. (I'll save my thoughts about book vs. article publishing for another day.) For now, off to read Book #2 before bed.

Nerdy Things I Love

Library Research. I know I'm a nerd because I get excited about researching in a library. It is something that I want to truly infect my students with. I love going to the library for a book and just browsing the titles around that book--I always find something that I wasn't looking for, but really really needed. I always encourage students to do really exploratory library research, but so many of them are really reluctant to go into strange, scary stacks (which is a little understandable). But I love it. I was in some stacks today that I haven't been in since I was a high school student. They weren't as scary to me today as they were then and I hope to go back before Hometown Big Univ. (HBU) closes for the holidays on Friday.

Librarians. My FAVORITE public librarian was hard at work yesterday. I went in to find that wonderful index of Black magazines that she introduced me to last time. My memory is not always the best, but if you show me where a really useful book is in the library, I'm likely to remember it. Well I went straight to the spot where I thought the books were and they weren't there. Another reference librarian saw me looking very pitiful and confirmed that I wasn't crazy--that the books should be there. She walked around the reference section with me (bless her heart) to see if someone left it in a reshelving area. No avail. I started to go about looking up some other books, but something told me to go over to periodicals and see if my favorite librarian was working. And she was. I reintroduced myself and said remember those books....No sooner than I could finish my sentence, she began to giggle and reached under her desk. She pulled out all three volumes of this index and said "my boss told me to take these back days ago, I'm so sorry!" We had a good laugh and I got back to work.

Microfilm. I used to really hate microfilm and sometimes I prefer the hardcopies of periodicals (especially older ones). But since I started my diss I've come to appreciate microfilm. What a great way to get a lot of information into a small space. And microfilm seems to keep a lot of Black periodicals catalogued in libraries that don't necessarily have strong holdings in Africana studies. Only catch--I'm yet to find a microfilm reader with a really good printer--can we update the machines???

Coffee Shops in Libraries. I'm not a huge coffee drinker but I love that an increasing number of college libraries have coffee shops. It's always creates such a cozy, aromatic space to do some reading.

Books. I'm really just a nerd because I love books. If I didn't have to park on a meter today, I probably would have spent two more hours in the HBU library just looking around the shelves. They have some great collections and I'm going to be spending a lot more time down there. Gotta get a special borrowers card.

Had a really productive day of researching. I think I found all the sources I need to fill in the gaps in this chapter before I start revising my last two sections.

Off to Campus

I'm headed down to the Hometown Big University (HBU) library to finish up my research for this chapter. My big goal for today is to just finish the research so I can fill in my missing cites and move on to the two sections of this chapter that need to be fixed--big time. The HBU library is a little scary so this should be interesting. I need to photocopy a few book chapters and some articles from magazines--hopefully they have reasonable copy charges (unlike the public library which is a little high in the charges area). I need to find a lot of change before I go....

One Book Down

Today was a great work day. I realized that I have a little more research to do than I had hoped but that is okay. I accomplished my primary goals for today which were to get the books I really needed, and to start in on these revisions. I got in about 1000 words of changes tonight--that felt great. I've finished 2/3 of the first book--Jimmy Carter's exciting biography Why Not the Best? and I'll finish that before bed tonight. (This will definitely help me sleep).

Tomorrow I may need to make another trip back to the library--this time with more change in hand for photocopies :). I may go to the local university library this time around because there are a couple of academic books I could take a gander at if I can't find any good journal articles on-line tonight. I'm feeling good about this chapter, finally. It is shaping up to be my strongest thus far (I think) in terms of both research and analysis. I can't WAIT to get this thing off my desk.

Back to work.

Yeah, I'm an Idealist

As seen at Professor Kim's....

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF) You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

Feeling Optimistic

I think today is going to be a great day. The weekend was great -- I got some extra unexpected time with Dr. J and although I miss him already, seeing him always makes me feel motivated to work extra hard. I have a lunch date today with a soror and then after our time, I am going down to the public library to take care of that research I've been putting off forever. While I'm there, I hope to also get some of the citations that I'm missing/needing in this chapter.

Today's goal's:
--Finish my research
--Go to library/Pick up my books to read
--Start on Book #1
--Start in on revisions tonight

Everything feels manageable today and that is a wonderful feeling. I am going to work really hard this week so I can truly enjoy the holiday weekend. Oh, at some point I need to finishing Christmas shopping too!

Just Keep Revising

Thursday was a slow but fruitful work day. I worked until 5AM. I know that working such long hours is not always best, but sometimes I need a long day or two to feel accomplished and to get myself working again. I also worked a long time on Thursday (into Friday) so that I could get some good personal time this weekend for Dr. J and for my sorority. The time with both was well spent.

I'm back into writing tonight and was pleased to find some information in an unexpected source for my section that I need to revise on the genre of political autobiographies. I was reviewing this book--Autobiography as Activism: Three Black Women of the Sixties (Margo Perkins)--for possible use in my Spring 07 special topics seminar, but it is not going to work for that class. Fortunately, there is some great work in this book on the political power of autobiographical writing for African American women. It is one of the few works I've seen that looks at autobiography in the Black community from a political standpoint. So I am pulling some information from this text tonight and working polishing the concluding section on this chapter.

My library didn't get the books in I needed to read today so I'm a little setback on my reading schedule. But I have plenty of revisions to keep me busy in the meantime--back to work.

Revising Delays

If nothing else, my work tonight has shown me that I have a LOT of reading to do. I have been wanting to write all day, but the process has been SLOW. I couldn't figure out where to start, what else needed to be done, besides finishing that one section on my figure's early Congressional career. But I knew that finishing one section would not complete the chapter--there was still much revision work to be done.

So I started at the top--sentence one. And have been working my way through the document, using my own eyes and comments that I received on my early seminar drafts of the chapter. The primary area that my professor's comments addressed that I had not yet fulfilled in the paper was dealing with the genre of campaign autobiographies. Between drafts one and two I added some scholarly sources on the campaign autobiography, but really have not found a lot of theoretical work in the area. I think in my earlier readings of my professor's comments, I overlooked the recommendation to theorize rather than look for theories. What I need to do is read a bunch of autobiographies and the theorize about characteristics that are consistent with the genre to show how my subject does or does not deviate from our generic expectations in her work.

This means I have some serious reading to do. Using my professor's recommendations, I need to take a look at five books. I don't have to read them closely, but I do need to get a good feel for the works for comparative purposes. Sigh. This is going to push back my plans somewhat on completely this Chapter by the 21st.

But to keep myself as close to my deadline as possible, I am going through what I have so far with a fine-tooth comb, adding footnotes and using bold font comments to indicate places where I need further citations or additional information. I am doing as much rewriting and language-tweaking as possible. So hopefully, I can get through this entire thing tonight.

After tonight I will have three things to do:
1) Complete the section on the campaign autobiography as a genre.
2) Fill in the empty footnotes and boldface comments.
3) Write a solid conclusion.
It will definitely be feasible to complete #2 and 3 by the 21st, but I'm not so sure about #1....Sigh

Updated 2:04 AM--make that a Double Sigh. I made it through the pages I have written and what I need even more than a solid conclusion is an entire section on political philosophy before the conclusion--I'm talking 5-7 more pages. Sigh Sigh.

Sweet

You Are Mud Pie

You're the perfect combo of flavor and depth Those who like you give into their impulses

What Kind of Pie Are You?

Back on the Grind

Despite the quiet fog I was in yesterday, I got some good work done on my new course syllabus. My cable internet was acting up last night so I couldn't finish what I'd started, nor could I start on what I needed to do on my dissertation. So today is a fresh start. My goal is to finish a section on Chapter Four and to push what I have written towards a final revision on this draft. I probably won't make my goal to send this thing out by the weekend, but if I do what I need to do today, it could definitely go out next week. My advisors are leaving town on the 21st so I want to have it in by then.

Silence

Something took my words away today. Like a smooth pickpocket--I didn't even feel it happen. But for most of the day, I've sat here (and a myriad of other places) in silence. Looking, waiting, wishing that my words would return. But they haven't. At the end of the day, I simply don't know what to say. And the words are not just missing from the piles of papers that should be growing my (pe)degree--today they have been missing from my life.

I always try to recognize silence as a gift. Many choose to grieve the loss of words as something that has not yet been found, but I always try to embrace silence and be still. Today I moved and lived without words. Today I listened and I learned. I read today. I made fudge. I walked. I smiled and I cried.

The beauty of silence and stillness is that it does not have to be paralysis, such as that which strikes the depressed or the grieving or the lonely. There can be much life and productivity--even in the deepest silence. A blade of grass grows in absolute silence--I imagine it barely disturbs the air around it. It grows up quietly, it doesn't rush, it doesn't fuss, it doesn't shout it's disappointment at it's meager accomplishment. But it lives, it continues, it continues to grow in silence Too often I think, we ignore the tremendous potential for growth there is in silence. We shift uncomfortably under its weight as if it might crush us, when in fact, it may rest with us to sooth us or free us or strengthen us. Although the pages of my dissertation didn't move, and no one saw or heard the changes in me today, I know that in my silence today--I grew.

New Publication Plan

I was going to work on sending off one of my previous seminar papers for publication this month, but it is looking like it is going to need a little more work than I previously anticipated. Even though it is one of my best papers, it is outside of my discipline and I need to change the intro and conclusion to account for other recent publications and to make it more relevant to the field (which is not my primary field). So instead, I'm going to get back to work on a co-authored piece I have. It needs lots of work too, but it is in my field and I already have some reviews on it. I think it will be easier to revise since I have directions on what needs to be changed. And my co-author is looking for me to do the bulk of the work before we send it out again, so I might as well do that now before I graduate and am no longer able to use the resources at our institution. Always feels good to have a plan.

Post-Birthday Blues

I had a great birthday weekend, but I'm sad it is over so soon. I needed more time to celebrate. I did something I hadn't done in years--went roller skating. That was too cute. I did some grown up things too and got some great gifts (including my Bluetooth), but I'm just sad its over. Reality is back and the dissertation awaits me. I know I deserve some time off to some extent but it's really crunch time for me. I really want to make the May graduation deadline, which means a March defense--yikes. And I'm a little anxious that I haven't heard anything back from my chairs all week on the last thing I sent them. I have some job related thoughts as to why that is but I hope my thoughts are incorrect. I really gotta hit it this week so I can meet my deadlines for the month. If I can be wrapping up Chapter Five by New Year's I'll feel MUCH better about this whole thing. We'll see. I know I don't have to rush as far as my job goes, but I am feeling the pressure of my internal clock right now...And Dr. John is gone so hence, the post-birthday blues....

Celebration Time!

Ok, the day could have been more productive on the writing end. I didn't write a thing and that sucks. BUT I did do a lot of reading today in my primary texts for this chapter and that felt so good. It gave me a lot of good ideas for avenues to take this chapter to the next level. But enough of that work stuff for the week. It's birthday celebration time. My best friend is taking me to dinner tonight. Dr. John will be here tomorrow and we're doing some joint birthday celebration activities. And then Sunday (my actual birthday) my mother is cooking a big dinner for the family and my good friends.

I know I should be working, and I might even read some more when I get back from dinner tonight. But I am DETERMINED to have a good time this weekend!!

Distracted

That article must have really gotten my teaching-blood flowing. I've had my future classes on the brain all night. Started my new course syllabus--came up with some good themes. I decided that I want to have all my courses for next year mapped out before the summer is over. Yes that's right, it is not enough for me to just focus on the dissertation. I need at least 10 other things to do. But seriously, as soon as the dissertation is done, I want to make sure I'm set for next fall and the following spring. I'd like to have this done before June so I can actually have a summer to relax and not stress about school. I might even get a job at the mall.

Diss word count tonight: 47 (yikes)

No Creativity in Higher Ed?

I read an interesting article today by a student at UNLV who argues that a college education often stifles creativity. Take a look. I do know a lot of professors who spend time regurgitating material, and it seems to be a problem likely to occur in the large lecture big institution courses (just from my experience in a Big School environment). I imagine certain disciplines/fields are more vulnerable to this than others (professional programs such as in this student's business classes). So there could be an assumption that liberal arts classes encourage more creativity, but I think that depends on the professor and the course. I would hope that our class discussion and the types of texts I want to use will spark creative thinking--but that has to be balanced against assignments/tests/quizzes and grading which does tend to promote more standardized (YUCK) learning and memorization. I think.

This piece got me thinking--good--and I want to make sure I'm doing as much as possible in my new courses in the Fall to discourage just rote memorization and promote creativity. So I'm tossing a question to the academeblogosphere--How do you encourage creativity in your classroom???

Slow Night

So the bad news about a new toy--you don't want to work, you want to play. I am STRUGGLING to keep from making this an extended birthday weekend. I'm tempted to be like my undergrads up North and say that the weekend begins on Thursday. But that's just not right!! I sluggishly wrote about400 words tonight and that's all I could muster. I'm going to try to hit the library tomorrow morning to look up some things. We'll see.

It's Here! It's Here!!

Inspired by Russian Violets, I got myself a new phone for my birthday. My old phone was great but they discontinued it a long time ago. I will miss it--but it was time for a serious upgrade. And thanks to my upgrade and online discounts, I got a seriously expensive phone for next to nothing!

Taaa Daaaa (Click here for fancy demo)...


I could have gotta a Palm or a Blackberry, but I don't need anything else in my life to connect me to work--birthday toys should be fun and this is definitely a FUN toy!! Next stop--Bluetooth....

Decent Workday

It wasn't outstanding, but I got my pages done. The quality of the writing could have been better today, BUT writing is writing at this point. I did have some fun looking through old New York Times articles. I had a few Dave Chappelle--"Man that was racist"--moments, but hey those were the Times. The times where you could be publicly racist and it was cool. Those days are definitely on the return--I miss the late 80s/early 90s when folks were trying to learn to be sensitive to their own racisms (pre-"PC"). I always chuckle when I see that Cosby Show episode where Denise was teaching Olivia -- don't say Black but African-American, don't say White but Caucasian. Poor Olivia couldn't even pronounce the words--but that was the in thing then. But that's another post, I'm rambling--going to bed early.

It's Sinking In

The official job offer paperwork is here. A draft of my new department's teaching schedule just arrived today. It's starting to sink in that come August, I will be a professor. I'm doing my best not to think about my new classes too much--that could be a GREAT way to procrastinate on the dissertation. (And I will take a pretty significant pay cut if I don't finish the dissertation by August so let's keep our eyes on the ball!)

But I am really excited about my new classes. My chair and I were on the same wavelength regarding my course preferences for the fall. I'm teaching two undergraduate classes--one is my old standby that I've done a million times and the other will be a new course in a very traditional area of our field. My chair is sending me some review copies of books I might use for my standby course (one of which I always wanted to use at my previous institution but wasn't allowed to!). I doubt I will have a textbook for the new course--I'll be teaching a series of speeches and it is hard to find one book that has them all. So I think instructors for this course typically use a combination of electronic sources to get the job done.

I'm excited about designing my first new course. I'm telling myself that I won't think about it until at least January because I know how much energy I put into those sample syllabi for my teaching portfolio--too bad I didn't make one for this class though. But what is REALLY exciting me is the course size. I found out today the caps on my sections--15 and 25. That is just beautiful to me. I've never taught classes this small during the year, I think I had one or two summer sections this small and that's it. I'm going to have to do some major tinkering in my standby syllabus to account for the reduced class size--I'm used to cramming a lot more into a little space, but know I can take lots of time and do more in-depth work!! This is going to be such a refreshing change and hopefully a fun start to being a professor.

Get It Done

Just. Get. It. Done.

Hit my dissertation writing goal for the night. I wrote 3 new pages on the subject of Chapter Four and did some good reorganization/revising work on the draft. I created a space for a brand new section--I'm not sure how much time I'm going to need on it, but I do know that it will require me to read a book. Sigh. Required reading is a good thing though, I haven't read enough at all lately. But I'm done for the night; now I can have some dessert.

Birthday Wishes

Today I have to wish a very Happy Birthday to Dr. John--a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful man I am so blessed to know. I hope you have a BEAUTIFUL day and I can't wait to see you soon.

Also a very Happy Founder's Day to the men of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. Congratulations on reaching 99 years of service to the community.

Clean Up Day

Saturdays--good for laundry, cleaning, and organization, oh and Christmas tree decoration. It was one of those Saturdays for me.

I hadn't anticipated finishing that chapter yesterday so today was a regrouping and goal setting day. I spent some time looking over the draft I have so far for Chapter Four. It needs at least 20 more pages of analysis and a LOT of rewriting--especially since I am adding an additional text to the analysis. So if I work on 2 new pages and 1 page of revising a day, I should be in good shape to get this next chapter out to the advisors before they go away for break. I did a good bit of work today updating my references and looking for new sources. I definitely need to make a library trip this week to check out that reference book I used before. I need some more references/news reports from the 70s on my subject.

Also, now that I have my life freed from the job search, I want to get back to my publication goals. I have a great paper from an English seminar that I would love to get published. It's not exactly in my area but I think it was one of the best pieces I wrote during graduate school. I wrote it in 2003 so I spent some time today researching the novel to see what had been written on it lately. Two pieces have come out since I wrote my seminar paper, one of which begins to touch on some of the issues of genre I discuss in my paper. But I think I can incorporate that and use it as a perspective to "continue the conversation" on this particular text. Perhaps the editors will disagree, but I won't know until I send it out, right? So I'm going to read the two new articles in more detail tonight before I go to bed, figure out how to incorporate them, and then start the work of revising this piece to send out by the New Year.

Other than that, today has been a good day to relax and watch football. I was glad to see Georgia win the SEC title. But I'm a little disappointed by the USC/Texas hype--I'm not sure if either of those teams would be so great if they were in stronger conferences. Now don't get me wrong, Reggie Bush is PHENOMENAL but I mean really--should you win CHAMPIONSHIP games with 60+ point margins? Just sayin--doesn't seem right....Off to watch Florida State finish off Virginia Tech and read these articles before bed.

Sending This Bad Boy Off--TONIGHT!

Man I got some Great work done today. I didn't stick to my goal of writing two new pages, BUT, I revised the entire Third Chapter (which is Chapter Six). It reads a lot better to me, but I know the analysis could use some more teeth. To me, it has definitely reached the--I need some feedback--stage. I can't look at it anymore, but at least it is as clean as it is going to get. It feels good to be getting something off my desk again. This means that starting tomorrow I can dig fully into Chapter Four. My goal is to get that one off my desk by Christmas, take a week off for the holidays, and then devote January Chapters Five and Seven. Ok, I'm getting ahead of myself again. One more spellcheck and I'm sending this bad boy off TONIGHT!!

Small Steps--Good...

I conquered the fear of PDSS (Post Dissertation Separation Syndrome), and after coming back from job search mania to the diss, I feel good about what I accomplished tonight. My goal was small, and will stay small for the next few days as I get back into the groove. I am reminded through this process of reacclimation tonight that writing is work. Darn it.

Thursday's end product--10 pages of revisions and two new pages. That will be my goal for Friday as well. The chapter I'm revising is 30something pages, so if I stick to this goals for a couple days, I can send Third Chapter back to my chairs by Monday. (Don't ask me why I started revising with Third Chapter instead of Chapter One or Two). I'm sure they will love to see something from me!! So glad the work is getting done again--yeah!!

New Look

Something a little brighter--do u dig it?

My So Called (ABD) Life

There is a new design for the blog in the works (nothing too flashy because I'm still learning CSS), but the name is the same. Job in hand and all, I am still ABD--can't lose sight of that point (especially since a significant portion of my new salary depends on my PhD). So this is still my so-called ABD life. And today is the first of the month; time to get back on the dissertation grind.

Today, I'm back in full-time dissertation mode. It's been a little while since I've written anything new so my goals for today are to:

1) Write at least TWO new pages on any chapter in the diss.
2) Get back to those revisions of Chapters 1-3.

In the words of Jay-Z--I'm not a businessman, I'm a BUSINESS, MAN--so let me handle my business damn...