Almost There

As the list of things to do grows, it feels good to be getting closer to completion on this Chapter Two draft. Despite a barrage of unexpected company in my home this evening, and being completely distracted by my own daydreams, I managed to finish that last unconquerable section of Chapter Two. It took some sweat and some willingness to let go of absolute perfection, but its D-O-N-E. Well, not entirely. But Chapter Two does finally sit in a complete form. It needs a lot of revision so it may not be D-O-N-E by the 1st, but it will definitely be off my desk by the end of the week. Hallelujah!

Back on Track!

It feels soooo good to be back on track. Maybe I should be a Sunday through Thursday writer....hmmm that's a good thought--I need to marinate on that. Tonight's writing time was very productive--about 2000 first draft quality words (as opposed to the zero draft quality I've been producing). So although this Chapter Two continues to grow to ridiculous proportions, it feels good to be nearing the end. I have 5 more sub-issues I need to touch on quickly--I'm thinking it will take between 5-10 paragraphs to finish the draft and that is very exciting.

One of my favorite family members is in town and we have plans for Wednesday so that is a good incentive to get this draft done tomorrow morning, start revisions tomorrow night, and continue into Wednesday morning. Then Wednesday night can be a little bit of a celebration. And maybe by Thursday, I can have this thing out of my hair!!

Chapter Three here I come!!

Hurricane Katrina

A good reminder from one of my sorors in the Southeast Region:

"As you do your groceries in the next few days, remember them [those living on the Gulf Coast] and buy some extra canned goods, water bottles, and if you have any spare blankets, please send all those items to the Red Cross. This will be one of the biggest natural disasters to occur in a while and instead of waiting for help relief effort to begin, let's start flooding the Red Cross with donations, God knows they will need it over the next few days."

School Starting Well Wishes

Just wanted to send my thoughts and prayers out to all my friends, colleagues, and fellow academic bloggers who are starting with classes and teaching this week!! May your syllabi be clear, your schedule feasible, your workload manageable, and your books in the bookstore!

Waiting to Exhale

Still on Chapter Two--SIGH!

This week it will be done--really. It will be done before September. It will. It must. It will be done.

But I can only be so hard on myself. I had a fabulous weekend filled with lots of surprises and thrills, lots of laughter, and even a few exciting spills. So while I could have been a little more productive than I was, I wouldn't trade this weekend for anything. And besides, I did get a little writing done, and I drafted my cover letter for my first job application.

I'll just keep chugging on this writing tonight and tomorrow. By Tuesday, I will be revising. This is a deadline I must keep. Once Chapter Two is off my desk, I can EXHALE.

The Trade-Off

My plans for today fell through so I took my personal time last night. But that means back to work today on finishing Chapter Two. Another Saturday night in writing--ewww.

And I think I'm going to start working on my cover letter for my first job application. The more and more I think about this job, the more I want it. So I want my application to be as strong as possible. I like the university. The department is growing and seems like the faculty are interested in interdisciplinary work. The position fits my interests PERFECTLY. And of course, most importantly--the location is BEAUTIFUL. I feel good about putting a lot of energy into this application. The goal is to send it out by the end of September since its due early October. If I can get this cover letter drafted this week, then I can send it out to some folks for feedback. So I'm going to pause on my publication goals to spend some more time this week on job application stuff.

In the mean time, back to Chapter Two.

Progress Was Progress

Yesterday was pretty close to a total loss. But, I'm not as mad about it as I would usually be. Things just had to be done. I finally moved up a half of step from my car with chronic problems--which was great because I don't have to put any more money into that anymore. And I had some good personal time yesterday. So although I still need to polish off this whole last section today, I'm cool with it. I just gotta hit it hard so I can enjoy tomorrow. I wrote a paragraph last night, so it wasn't a total loss.

In other news, I've added another postdoc application. Application count for those keeping score:
4 PostDoc
1 T-T Asst. Prof

Mental Distractions--What Comes Next?

Tonight I was overwhelmed with the need to find a J.O.B. In between sentences on Chapter Two, I have been all over job sites, university sites, and googlin up a storm, looking for assistant prof and post doc positions. The market is just not lining up for my area, and I'm slowly starting to let go. I put a lot of energy into researching postdocs tonight. I found quite a few--mostly at the Ivies, but also at a number of large research, public institutions--almost all of them in places I wouldn't mind living (which is a sharp contrast to the asst. prof. jobs I've seen in my field). So my one folder devoted to application materials for an assistant professor position at a very nice Liberal Arts College has now been joined by three more folders for postdocs. Now I'm up to four applications--far from enough for me to feel like I know what's next--I'm thinking that I'll add four more postdocs to that group in the next month or so. There are four positions that I've been looking at for a while, but the institutions have not put out their applications yet. Although the postdoc applications are currently outweighing the assistant professor positions by 7-1, I'm still not feeling settled one way or the other. I know that at least one discipline that my work correlates with does not start announcing jobs until mid-September, so the assistant professor pile could make a comeback in a few weeks. For the time being, I have one application to complete each month starting in October.

Because of course, I needed something else to do right now.

In the meantime, the battle with Chapter Two continues. Progress is slow tonight, but progress is progress.

Edited at 2:00AM Word count: a measely 600 words--I quit--goodnight....

Just For Frankie

Hey Frankie--You probably think this post is about you, don't you.

Well, it's not. It's about my ongoing battle with Chapter Two. The struggle continued this evening. I got through Section #5--wrote a little over 1900 words tonight. And I feel only okay about it. Mostly because Section #6 (which covers the past few decades) looms large in the horizon and there are still a few small holes in sections 1-5 that I need to go back and fill. Section #6 is going to be the biggest section in this chapter, and it is going to be an uphill climb to get through it. But I'll do it--and hopefully by Thursday night/Friday morning. I want to be able to spend Friday and Sunday on revisions so that I can send it off to the advisors by Monday. (And I want to not have any guilt about going out of town on Saturday).

Big shouts to Frankie for being a soldier and reading my blog even though its not about her. Love you soror!

Sustenance

I was blessed as a naive MA grad student to come into my program at a time where there were a lot of "seasoned" grad students still on campus and active in the department. I looked up to them, I listened to them, I learned from them, and although they may not all know it, they were critical in sustaining me through a time when I wasn't sure if a "life of the mind" was for me.

I am blessed to still be in touch with some of these wonderful souls (soon to be future colleagues). They keep me grounded, keep me from being too self-critical, and most important of all, they make me smile when I think of them. (Too many people in academe make me frown when I think of them). In any case, one of these wonderful souls reminded me of the importance of sustenance during the dissertation process--the need for things and for people that nourish your heart, your mind, and your soul (and of course, your stomach).

This got me thinking about middle school science when you learn about symbiosis--a close relationship between two organisms. (Bear with me, I abandoned the sciences my sophomore year of college). Sometimes the relationship is mutually beneficial--the little bird picks the bugs off the hippo--the bird is happy, the hippo is happy. And sometimes the relationship is parasitic--like a tapeworm that lives in another animal's stomach and eats all its food.

The relationship that a writer has with her dissertation is extremely symbiotic. Some days it is mutually beneficial--the dissertation grows and the writer grows too. But on other days, the dissertation is a huge parasite. It sucks all of the writer's energy--forces the writer to give all of herself to meet this one singular goal of just being done. And unfortunately, these days sometimes outnumber the good days. And when this happens, some serious sustenance is in order.

I have been in need of some serious nourishment during this Chapter Two process, and in so many unexpected ways I have received it. So this post is just a little late night cheesy moment to say thank you to those who understand my symbiotic relationship with my dissertation--those of you who feed my soul like mashed potatoes and refresh my spirit like summer rain when I need it most. This is also a reminder to myself and to anyone who reads this--if you already have a dissertation in your life, you definitely don't need any more parasites--so get rid of anything that is feeding off of you rather than feeding you....

Chapter Two, Section Five

Still wrestling. Instead of taking the "easy" route tonight and writing about the two activists I'm familiar with, I built up a little momentum for tomorrow (I hope) by researching and writing about the one politician in this section I was unfamiliar with. It was almost fun. I learned some new things tonight and I think I needed that. So much of this chapter is just a rehearsal of information I know and have written about a million times: b-o-r-i-n-g. It was good to do some researching and digging around tonight. I started working on one of the activists as well, again, just so I can have some momentum for the next writing session. Later today, I'll finish up these two activists and that will be that for section five.

Last Week of August

Chapter Two was supposed to be done already. I am now officially behind and it sucks--let's just keep it real. So this week, I am ignoring all other professional distractions (articles to revise, teaching philosophies, sample syllabi, etc.) and all personal distractions as well. The professional part will be easy though--I still haven't found any jobs that I'm interested in applying for other than the one that came out earlier this month. My mentors keep saying, wait until September, but some of the institutions I'm interested in have already put out ads--they just aren't hiring in the humanities side of our discipline this year. Seems like this is going to be a job market for social scientists/quantitative/media scholars in my field and I'm not any of those. But that's another post for another day...

Back to Chapter Two--I wrote a few more lines last night to finish section #4 and now I'm on section #5 of 6. If I stick to my outline, this section will involve discussing three African American women, two activists and one politicians who was the first (I think) Black women in an elected public office (I think). I need to go to the library and do some more research on her, but my car is in the shop (again) so that will have to wait until tomorrow. My goal is to get through the two activists tonight and then work on the third individual tomorrow. If I can write about the two women tonight by a decent hour, then I am going to start going back through what I have written and begin revising.

Has Saturday Night Come to THIS?

I'm spending Saturday night in writing.
I could be out having fun, but I'm not.
I could be on a cruise like someone I know, but I'm not.
I could even be writing a novel (which I gave some serious thought to today), but, as should be clear at this point, I'm not.

I'm trying my best to keep fighting through the quicksand otherwise known as Chapter Two. I don't feel conversational; I don't feel any affinity to the English language at all at the moment so this will be all for now....

Saturday Evening's Output: a pitiful 3 pages
Guess I'll be working on Sunday again....

Long Day, Longer Night

Realization: I'm bored. It takes a lot to bore me and the reality is I am B-O-R-E-D with this chapter. I typically avoid anything that looks or sounds like a literature review at all cost. And rather than being a colorful survey of African American women's political rhetoric, this Chapter Two has turned into one loooong, boring literature review. I think this chapter is an important element not just for the dissertation, but for the eventual book, but definitely not in its current (or near future state).

Tonight's work involved a lot of staring at the computer, reading articles on JSTOR, and very little writing. I just started forcing myself to type and went back to the old seminar routine of "write more about so-and-so" here when I couldn't write anymore. Total productivity: a miserable 500 words.

Still, I will press on through the quagmire of this chapter. Even if it means sacrificing the majority of my weekend plans. It won't be fun, but I'll do it.

What Had Happened Was

Life happened today. From things that an insurance company would call "acts of God," to stuff that you should only see/hear on TV. I had a good ol' fashion arm wrestlin match with life today, and life won.

I don't want to take this loss, but I have to. I just finished outlining the rest of Chapter Two, which at least made me feel a little productive. It looks like it will take between 12-15 more pages to finish this monster. I don't usually do a lot of detailed outlining when I write, so this chapter has been different. It has felt a lot more like answering a comp question (shiver)--outlining and then plugging in literature. I need to glue my behind in this chair Thursday and Friday if I want to participate in my functions on Saturday. Right now, I'm thinking that I will forego at least one or two (but of course not all three!) of Saturday's events so I can have some more hours on finishing Chapter Two. My goal of finishing by the end of the week is slipping out of reach....

I'm disappointed, but not discouraged. I know I'll finish it soon.

Stay-Puft Marshmallow Chapter

Don't ask. Suffice it to say, Chapter Two just keeps growing. Back in JULY (sigh, so much time...) when I started Chapter Two, I visualized it as having four major sections. And perhaps that's why I keep feeling like I'm getting NOWHERE with this thing. It just keeps growing. It now looks like it will take at least six sections to cover this survey. The good news is that I've made some progress today. I finally finished that last section-that-would-not-end (#3)--I've been pouring over it forever. So now I'm on major Section #4. It is looking like this section is going to be shorter than the previous two. I'm just going cover two more sources/figures (unless I just get inspired to do more) and I think that will be more than enough to cover the next few years in the survey. Sections 5 and 6 will probably be especially long since I need to treat both traditional and nontraditional politics in the late twentieth /twenty-first centuries. But I'll deal with that Wednesday and Thursday.

In other news, the journal submission is ready to go. I took a couple days to proof it (mostly being slow and lazy), and I found a lot of wording I didn't like and a FEW major typos. So I had to take a fine-toothed comb to it and I'm glad I spent some time doing that. The piece will officially be on its way in the morning. I'll get started on Possible Publication #2 after I finish wrestling this Stay-Puft Chapter of mine....

Another Run at Chapter Two

Goal for this week is simple: Finish Chapter Two. I have a few fun engagements planned for ME on the 20th, hopefully the events will also be an opportunity to celebrate the completion of this chapter.

Before getting to Chapter Two tomorrow, I need to run to the library to look at the latest Chicago Manual (which I should own but I don't, I confess) and make sure the style for this article is TIGHT. I also need to find the latest issue of this journal (it's on-line but some of the front matter is absent from the on-line addition). I need to ensure that none of the submission information has changed from what's online.

Other than that, this week is all about connecting with my co-chairs and Chapter Two. Four to five pages a day should definitely get it done--possibly before the end of the week if I'm focused. That would be excellent so that I can start revisions this week as well. What I have written so far is a lot closer to a zero draft compared to what I wrote for Chapter One, which came out more like a first draft (lot more self editing going on with that draft). This time around, I'm "just" writing--and I'm okay with that.

11.5 Hours Later

Pure grit and determination. Made it through ALL the revisions and proofreading for this article. I have settled on submitting it to Specialized History Journal. I know that it may not "count" directly in my field, however, 1) I think it actually has a chance of seeing the light of day in this journal and 2) I'm probably not just applying to jobs in my field since my work is so interdisciplinary. So I feel satisfied with my decision and I'll get started next week on the piece that I am going to send to Major Rhetoric Journal, which is probably another 12 to 24 hours worth of revisions away from being sent off.

I feel a little more accomplished than I was this morning, that's always a good thing. I'm going to sleep on this piece and then proofread it one more time tomorrow. Monday, cover letter, final copies, and into the MAIL!!! (Only a couple days behind deadline, not bad right??)

OK, Gotta Get This Off My Desk

So as I mentioned in a previous post (Teaching Philosophy Statement), I decided to save myself some publication anxiety by sending off my nineteenth-century piece to a history journal. I was supposed to have this off of my desk by Friday--but I'm still holding on to it. I keep going back and forth as to where I'm going to send this. If I do continue with the idea of sending it to Specialized History Journal, I need to rewrite some of the literature parts (which are more fitting for a rhetoric journal). If I send it to Major Rhetoric journal, then I have to completely rewrite the arguments and switch the style (which I did in a version I started early last week). Either way, the piece also needs stronger organizational elements (topic sentences and transitions--which I've been working on this week as well). So at the moment, I'm leaning towards the history journal so that I can be done with this TODAY and get back to the work of Chapter Two. I REALLY wanted to be done with Chapter Two by now and it's killing me that this thing is still looming over my head--this is throwing a wrench into my plans of being on Chapter Five by Conference time in November. But such is my so-called life.

Five Pages!

Tonight has been a good evening of "concentrated energy." I keep learning so much about myself as a writer doing this process--this week has reaffirmed that while working in long 8 hour blocks may work for some people, that generally does not work for me. When I'm focused, I can get a lot accomplished in a smaller chunk of time. Especially when I have specific tasks to accomplish. So tonight, I drafted five pages on two more women in my chronology. I'm pleased with my progress again, FINALLY.

I've been looking for positive reinforcement that works for me and I finally found it (or at least what worked for today--who knows if this will continue). I've tried the no TV till you're done--that doesn't work--if I feel like watching something I do, but its not difficult for me to just miss the latest episode (but since most of the stuff I watch is already in reruns or is known to reair continuously on a certain music channel, it's not really a pressing issue). I have learned I can pretty easily do without blogging or IM till I'm finished writing (for the most part). Keeping my behind glued to the chair is still more of a challenge--I haven't figured out how to completely combat roaming aimlessly to the fridge. But I realized tonight that the latest and greatest incentive to get my writing done (at least for the time being) is so that I can talk on the phone. I always look forward to my evening phone calls and tonight is no exception. I flew through work tonight primarily because I told someone to give me until midnight to finish--what a great personal deadline that turned out to be. I'm off to talk on the phone!!

Why Didn't I Go To Law School?

At several points in my life (mostly prior to the PhD pursuit), I've considered going to law school. This MSNBC article, "Third Year Law School: Jury's Out on its Value," was a reminder that if I was going to do it, I should have done it before this PhD business, not after. Because of course, NOW they want to make it more rigorous. Not that I'm anti-work, but let's face it, I've put in 20+ straight years of school. If I go for any more, I want them to be as painless as possible. I've watched at least one person go through 3rd year law, and man, he didn't do a durn thing that year. The only reason he was at all busy was that he was getting a dual MBA degree. Why did I have to go the route were school only gets more strenuous as you go along??

Dissertation work is moving slowly today. The reality is that I need a good night's sleep for a change. While the week started productively, it has since been on a rollercoaster of highs and lows, largely due to the fact that I need some sleep. So I'm going to finish this section I'm working on tonight (so far I've written two pages), and then I am turning off the phones and going to bed. I am not setting my alarm clock; I'm just going to sleep until my body is ready to wake up. (Those who know me know this is dangerous business, as I have set a few sleeping records in my day, but it must be done). Tomorrow I will move on to tackling the third major section of Chapter Two. I am still aiming to meet my goal of finishing a draft of this chapter this week, although I recognize that some serious revisions are going to be in order for next week. The extensive literature involved in this chapter is time consuming and boring, and I am looking forward to Chapter Three when I can FINALLY begin working with some primary texts and analyzing media reports. Chapter Two has taught me that I probably could not write a standard textbook, especially for a survey course--there is just too much tediously uninteresting work involved. (Hats off to those of you who write textbooks).

I'm such a nerd.

Better Start

This week is getting off to a much better start than last in terms of both personal life and academic work. I did work on the teaching philosophy statement last night, but mostly did reading on Wheatley and Stewart (like I needed to read anything else on Stewart!). So today, I shuffled around this morning, looked at job stuff, worked on the philosophy some more and then went to pick up the girls from their first day of school. Traffic was a nightmare. And I'm trying to figure out why they won't have books until the end of the week--what are they going to do all day?? What happened to homework on the first day of school??

Anyways, I came home and got to work. I've been making progress today and my goal for today was just two pages. I think last week I was setting my goals too high in my head, making me feel pretty steadily disappointed. So I have my two pages done for tonight and I'm going to work on them some more until I get incredibly tired or someone gives me a good reason to stop and socialize.

Tomorrow's goals--1) Enjoy the surprises the day might bring. 2) Track down my advisors to talk about job stuff and Chapter One 3) Write at least 3 more pages on Chapter Two. Sound reasonable??

Teaching Philosophy Statement

I've hit my first major wall on the dissertation. I've been reading everyday and doing a little writing (paragraphs at a time), but I have not been able to make the headway I've wanted to on Chapter Two. I'm giving myself one more week to get this thing out of my system.

In the meantime, I've done my best to stay productive in other ways. I am working on the nineteenth century piece, and I realized that it may be more suited for a history journal than the major communication outlet I was thinking about. Of course an added bonus is that I can keep it in Chicago if I send it to history and I have less work to do on the revisions--its a very strong (I think) archival piece--so I WILL send that out by Friday.

Last night I started work on my teaching portfolio. I have completely trashed my old philosophy statement--it was clearly written to fulfill some assignment because it has very little of my personality in it at all. So I went through all of my old emails that I have saved from students who write me at the end of the semester to say how much they enjoyed the class. It was heartwarming and almost made me miss teaching (that feeling quickly passed--I'm enjoying the fact that I don't have to copy syllabi in a couple weeks). I found some common themes in the emails--my classroom environment is one that is seen as being comfortable for such a high anxiety course (public speaking), my organization/preparation, and my attitude/enthusiasm. As a result, I'm thinking about organizing my teaching philosophy statement around these themes--trying to come up with some good alliteration or something. Right now I'm thinking of "P" words (I don't know why that letter came to mind first)--planning, preparation, performance, passion, peer-support/evaluation--I don't know--still in inventional stages on this one, but I'm feeling good about this direction.

I would love to say that I'm going to write, write, write, today, but let's be real. I will be proud if I can get through these paragraphs on Maria Stewart and Phillis Wheatley--that would be fabulous progress for today. We'll see...

Libraries, Printers, and Sigma News

Let's preface this by saying that it's well after midnight and I just started working on the diss around 11. I have completely resigned myself to the knowledge that I am a nightowl. My official writing hours will be 10pm until 2-3am. During the day--reading, researching, and maybe outlining (oh, and maybe blogging)--along with working on aforementioned publication and teaching portfolio goals. But at night--only dissertation. This is when I will write from now on (unless the Spirit otherwise moves and I find productivity and inspiration at additional times of day as well). My sorors will be thrilled to know that my away message won't be up perpetually all day.

Sidenote--I really appreciate my friends, sorors, and loved ones who actually read my away messages and don't bother me when it says I'm trying to write.

That being said. It's turned from a stressful start to the week to a very bright day.

I met perhaps the world's greatest librarian this week. She's a reference librarian at the main public library here in town and she's just FABULOUS--here to known as Ms. Wonderful. I met her on Monday when I was in search of the ever elusive Lelia Smith-Foley-Davis (we finally figured out the triple name score mystery). Ms. Wonderful was immediately immersed in my dectective work with me and as a result, she immediately shared my frustration. We did some searching on Monday to little avail, but alas the fierceless Ms. Wonderful would not give up. So I get an email from her later on saying that she had found a great lead that I might want to look at. She left some materials for me at the reference desk, but since she did not work again until Wednesday I let her know that I would wait until she returned to visit again. So today she introduced me to perhaps one of the world's best, least known reference materials for African American subjects:

In Black and White - A Guide to Magazine Articles, Newspaper Articles, and Books Concerning More than 15,000 Black Individuals and Groups, by Mary Spradling (circa 1980--3rd edition)

This wonderful periodical index is one of the best works of recovery I've ever seen. I know I'm a nerd, but for the first time ever, I considered buying an index--it's that good and its one of those things you just know is going to disappear from all the world's libraries one day. What makes it special is not just that it had listings for my subject :), but that it indexes a lot of old Black periodicals like Essence and Jet for those early dates (you know those dates right before databases like ProQuest pick up). So anyone doing research on Black subjects, especially civil rights era, should check this out. Back to the story, when I arrived, Ms. Wonderful has copied for me the page that has listings for my subject. We take a trip over to the microfilms and she pulls a couple of the articles for me (because she's already read a few) that she thinks I'll find interesting. Well, I soon realized that my short library trip was becoming lengthy and by the time I read through the reels she had pulled, the time was up on my parking meter (yes the public library has very limited public parking). So I let Ms. Wonderful know what I had found and casually mentioned that I would be back to look up the remaining listings right after I fed my meter. Folks, in the time that it took me to go downstairs, stuff in some change and come back up, Ms. Wonderful had pulled the remaining 4 or 5 reels for me and had already loaded the next article (in chronological order) into the reader for me. As if that's not enough, during all of this time, she continued searching for me and found the death record of my subject's mother. In short, I am now completely spoiled and don't know if I'll ever be able to visit another library again.

In other news--I got my new laser printer. It's a cute little printer from Best Buy (my other home)--hopefully it will live up to its 3000 page billing because goodness knows the inkjet wasn't cutting it.

AND...

My beautiful sorority that I love so dear, Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority Innnnnnncorporated, has named me one of the Top 20 members under the age of 40. The recognition is completely undeserving but much appreciated. I just love my sorors--they always know how to brighten a sister's day when she needs it most!!

Back to work Mon.

Potential Publication #1: Problematic

Didn't get much dissertation work done today. I'm exhausted. But to feel productive, I started the annoying process of switching from Chicago to MLA. Actually got through it all. As I was going along, I started actually reading the piece and it needs much more work than I was wanting to put in. I don't even agree with some of the arguments in this piece anymore (its from my MA thesis, just two years old). I thought this was one of my strongest chapters from the work, but it sounds like crap. This is why I'm not published--I can't get anything off of my desk because I feel like everything is in need of too much revision. I'm not just being a perfectionist--sections of this paper need to be rewritten, and I don't know if that is a good use of my time this early in the dissertation process. I may need to look around my files and see if another piece is closer to being sent off.

My #1 priority right now is this dissertation and I am continuing to feel like the idea of a job search is exerting too much external pressure to focus on other things. I do not have any sense of peace about applying this year. Yes, they are all things that will benefit me professionally, but they are extremely distracting from what's most important right now--getting the degree completed this year.

Balancing Dissertation and Publications

I really need some publications if I'm going on the job market this year. In my mind, I'm seeing this year as a "practice run" because I know that I need publications and to finish my PhD to truly be marketable in my field and get the kind of job I want. Most likely I'm going to be applying for postdocs and jobs this year.

I need to get a couple of pieces out before this month is out. So here are the goals/possibilities--
1) Revise and send out piece on 19th Century rhetor by next Tuesday, August 9th to Major Rhetoric Journal. Turning this into a potential article should involve: 1) strengthen the writing (topic sentences, clarity of arguments, and making the langauge more precise) 2) switching from Chicago to MLA.
2) Revise and send out one of my pieces on an African-American woman politician by Tuesday, August 16th to communication journal that specializes in research on people of color. Submitting to this journal is going to mean switching the style to APA (UGH!!!!) and tightening up the writing.
3) Rewrite co-authored piece on which I am lead author that was sent back from Regional Communication Journal. That is going to involve more research, further analysis, reorganization of arguments (particularly exigence for the study), and once again switching styles (probably APA to MLA). I don't know if I'm ready to do all of that right now. My co-author wants us to jump back into it, but it is going to need a lot of work--I would rather wait until I'm further along on the dissertation.

More than anything, I need to get my work out there. My struggle is that I already know that I am not an article writer--I want to write books. The generic conventions of writing an article do not appeal at all to my writing style or to my personality for that matter. But I need to get some feedback on my work and I need to make contributions to the field and I need to do it because everybody says so. Unfortunately, this means that I have no internal motivation whatsoever to write journal articles. What I love about the idea of writing books is that I am writing because I want to. I got into this whole academic machine to fulfill a goal I've had since I was a child--to write books. So I need to get some articles out, need to finish the diss, so I can go on the job market and put myself in a position to do so.

The plan is to spend one hour each day on publication work and devote the rest of my writing time to the dissertation.

Employed But Can't Spell

No, I haven't discovered a way to circumvent the academic job market. And no, I haven't created my mentors' worst nightmares of my attempting to teach full-time and write the dissertation. Starting Friday, I will be driving Little Miss Daisy, and possibly her older sister Little Ms. Violet. A friend of my mom's needs help getting her kids from their new school WAY across town (from her, but closer to me), and she's willing to toss a little cash my way. So I figure why not?! When has a grad student ever turned down a free meal or easy money? And to think my mom almost didn't tell me because she thought I was too busy! Technically, I guess that's true. BUT If you knew how much cash was on the table--you'd find this absolutely astonishing. There may be some additional financial support if I assist Little Miss Daisy with her reading comprehension.

Now I'm a smart woman, but it's been a long time since I've tutored anyone who wasn't in college. If I had to guess, I would say I was in eighth or ninth grade the last time I tutored a "kid." Apparently, Little Miss Daisy previously attended (not sure about her new school), one of these new-fangled institutions where you get to spell words any way that you please. Ok, I'm not that old--I can barely lay claim to being born in the 70s, but back when I was a kid, we didn't get to choose how to spell a word. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Now, I study and use African-American rhetorical forms, and although I do not do it with the skillz of some (you know who you are--AB), it is very easy for me to slide into a rhythmic blend of standardized English, hip hop slang, and AAE. (Earlier today I had an old friend from high school crackin up because I managed to use "hot mess" and "superfluous" in the same sentence--clearly he hasn't talked to me in a long time). With me, it all depends on the audience, depends on the mood, depends on the medium. But in each case it is a personal choice. So on some level, I reckon I'm supposed to support a child's ability to chose her language, and the appropriate spellings thereof. BUT in this time, in this country, a child--especially a child of color--should have access to all of the choices. In this case, the choice seems to be made for her and it is a strategic choice that can later be used against her.

To make matters worse, I, again who loves the creativity of language, am being put into the position to "correct" Little Miss Daisy's spelling, and help her learn to read more effectively. This presents several concerns on my part. 1) I can't spell worth a lick. I'm that person in the grad lab that shouts out, "How do you spell..." And I am NOT ashamed to ask my students to spell something for me--I'm really lazy when it comes to spellin and can freely admit that spellcheck has ruined my life. 2) After reading all of this academic...stuff for the past X years, how does one go about teaching things like phonics? I also was terrible at phonics as a child. 3) How does one "correct" learning habits? Little Miss Daisy is not five. She is going to middle school. That is frightening to me. She's a cool little girl who I used to babysit when she was still in diapers (scary--I called her StringBean as a kid and now she's bigger than me), but she's already reached that "school is dumb" phase of being an almost teenager. So what exactly am I supposed to do in an hour or so a week??

I'm still scoping out this situation--I am hoping that tutoring will be like riding a bike. I am hoping that I can help her build some stronger study/reading habits--I already know that she does not read enough. I am hoping that I can influence her mother to perhaps tone down her extracurricular while she gets her academics together. I am hoping that if nothing else I can be an encouragement to her, because I know how frustrating it is to feel like you don't get it when the other kids do. I am hoping that this new school will be better for her. I am hoping that one day Southern State will have schooling that provides equal learning opportunities that are not determined by your parents' property taxes...... I'm feeling awfully optimistic for 230AM!!

Moving On 2 Chapter 2

Chapter Two is currently collecting mold like an unwanted sandwich in a He-Man lunchbox. I'm exhausted from a long day of tinkering with those encyclopedia articles. Now its time to move on to the important work of finishing Chapter Two. The introductory nature of the chapter makes me feel like I'm behind, and technically, I am behind where I wanted to be at this point in the process. I'm mean its AUGUST for goodness sake. MAY is just around the corner!! I wanted to be into my first major content chapter by now. Sigh.

But fear not, I will be back to work in the morning on the elusive Chapter Two. The goal for Tuesday is to finish that durn section on Black women's politics prior to emancipation. I have a few paragraphs down on enslaved women's resistance/political activities undermining the institution of slavery. I need to finish that and work on the major arguments of Black women's public discourse, particular Phyllis Wheatley's use of poetry, Maria Stewart's adaptation of the jeremiadic tradition and of course, the ever popular Sojourner Truth. I'm trying to decide if I want to also include Sarah Parker Remond, the lesser known sister of Charles Remond. Sarah is an interesting subject because she spoke before high society British audiences about the sexual exploitation of enslaved African women in an effort to sway British sympathy and influence US public policy. Savvy politics in my opinion--not that she was the only Black woman to go abroad to do so--but an interesting case study nonetheless. I just don't want this chapter to get too big so I'm trying to limit in my head the examples I want to use. I could also get into the rhetoric of quilts, black women's literary/anti-slavery groups, Underground Railroad, etc. but that's just too much. I need to stick primarily to forms of "traditional" public address. We'll see if I can manage that later.