Thursday's tasks were just enough to handle. I took the trash out of the kitchen, but that must have totally thrown off Dr. J because then he forgot to take the trash down to the street Thursday night. Oh well; lesson learned.
I realized that I need one of my textbooks to finish updating my course management system (need to switch up some quiz questions), so I'll have a little more work to do on my old courses when I get back to the office next week.
After the Boss indicated I might have some extra responsibilities, I begged off going to the office this week--decided to wait until Monday. Hopefully there won't be too much negativity for that decision. However, Boss did not respond to my last e-mail, so I fear that there may be (s/he is pretty much always on e-mail, so this nonresponse is odd). But since Boss is still new, I'll try not to read too much into it. I'll face the music on Monday.
Yesterday I spent my time exercise, my new course (about halfway done with the syllabus), exercise, and watching a movie. I also learned that I will be on my first university committee starting this year. Oooh, more meetings. I really did not become a professor to be in meetings all day, but apparently the two things are equal at my institution.
In more positive news, I had some great workouts this week. The first phase of my eating habit renovation has been going well. I haven't had any desserts this week, which is HUGE for me. I went three weeks without sugar on my last attempt at a diet, but that will likely never happen again--a week is enough. My plan was to weigh myself on Monday, but Dr. J wanted us to weigh in yesterday (he's a bit obsessive about the scale; I have to hide it from him). The scale was good to me; I've gone back down 6 pounds. That's pretty typical for me in the first week on this type of plan (low calorie, high fiber, mega fruits and veggies, lean protein). Since we were ahead of schedule on our goals, we ate out--my treat was Fuji Apple Chicken Salad--yum.
I'm glad I've gotten the junk out of my system and gotten rid of the water I was apparently retaining. Now the hard work begins--finding a reasonable way to eat regular, properly proportioned meals each day, snack healthily, exercise around my life of meetings, and keep up the fruits and veggies.
Showing posts with label faculty life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faculty life. Show all posts
Home Sweet Home
Today is my first day waking up in my new home. I've been sleeping most of the day--I didn't get anywhere near the amount of sleep that I needed during wedding week. So it was wonderful to just lounge around our apartment in River City and sleep all day.
Of course, the rough part of the day was that Dr. J was not here. We both were invited to campus visits this week. We decided to decline mine since it was an hour away from River City and the other school I interviewed at here pretty much told me the job was mine pending paperwork. And we decided that he should go to his visit in the Northeast. We need some negotiating room and an offer from this school would definitely put us in a good position to negotiate with the other two schools we interviewed with to find the best place for us. So fortunately, Northeastern school was able to arrange for him to fly from Hometown where we got married yesterday morning and then they will fly him to River City tonight. I think my mother is more upset about our small separation than I am. I was sad for a while, but after years of a long distance relationship, I can deal with one night a part. And since we're not leaving for our honeymoon until next week, this was a good time to get all of the professional business out of the way. Ideally, we'll get any offers before we leave so we can make our final decisions about where we'll start our life together on the beaches of Hawaii!
I believe I got my official offer call today while I was napping. The voicemail was short and positive--"We would like to talk to you about working here at River City." So it looks like even if we are not courted away by one of the big schools Dr. J interviewed with, we will definitely finally have the opportunity to live and work in the same city!!
Of course, the rough part of the day was that Dr. J was not here. We both were invited to campus visits this week. We decided to decline mine since it was an hour away from River City and the other school I interviewed at here pretty much told me the job was mine pending paperwork. And we decided that he should go to his visit in the Northeast. We need some negotiating room and an offer from this school would definitely put us in a good position to negotiate with the other two schools we interviewed with to find the best place for us. So fortunately, Northeastern school was able to arrange for him to fly from Hometown where we got married yesterday morning and then they will fly him to River City tonight. I think my mother is more upset about our small separation than I am. I was sad for a while, but after years of a long distance relationship, I can deal with one night a part. And since we're not leaving for our honeymoon until next week, this was a good time to get all of the professional business out of the way. Ideally, we'll get any offers before we leave so we can make our final decisions about where we'll start our life together on the beaches of Hawaii!
I believe I got my official offer call today while I was napping. The voicemail was short and positive--"We would like to talk to you about working here at River City." So it looks like even if we are not courted away by one of the big schools Dr. J interviewed with, we will definitely finally have the opportunity to live and work in the same city!!
Only One Week Left
It is hard to believe all that has happened in the past few months. Time has gone by so quickly for me that I didn't even realize I hadn't blogged in all this time.
December 2007
After my birthday and the exams, I somehow got myself out of the grading hell I had gotten myself into. Fall semester was rough in that regard. It was also rough because I didn't hear anything back from the schools I had applied to or talked with during National Conference, and things were pretty quiet on Dr. J's front as well. But we had a wonderful time over the Christmas break finalizing the plans for our wedding and spending time with family. We addressed and sent out invitations, picked out flower arrangements, booked a lighting vendor, The hardest part was that over the course of four weeks, we probably spent about three of them on the road, primarily traveling to my Hometown for meetings and appointments. But the time together was wonderful and it was one of the best Christmas breaks I've ever had.
January 2008
And then, just like that school started again. I've never felt less prepared to teach a class I've already taught before. Although I had the luxury of just teaching two sections of my Major Course that I love, I was teaching it as an Accelerated Course--an eight week course formatted much like a summer class in the start of the spring semester. So I was teaching four days a week for three hours a night. Talk about draining! t was hard to stay on top of this class as it moved so fast, but by the end of January, I think I had gotten the hang of it. And despite all of our best efforts, I found myself in Hometown or some other travel destination just about every weekend. Unfortunately, January also brought the arrival of rejection letters from schools as well as several letters that indicated the programs did not receive the funding to go further with their search. By the end of the month, I was tired and extremely uncertain of how life would be after this short semester of teaching was over.
February 2008
Then last month, everything went into accelerated mode. My mom and my best friend threw me a wonderful bridal shower to start off the month. Then the next week, I was invited to participate in a special alumni program at my alma mater. I had a wonderful time, but felt a bit funny trying to give advice on how to negotiate the "real world" when so many things in my own life were up in the air. But of course, while I was away, I got my first invitation for a campus visit and a phone interview--both of which are close to where Dr. J works in River City! The prospect of us being close definitely helped propel me through more wedding planning and more intense teaching at the end of the month. But it also opened up the reality that I was going to have to negotiate how and when I might leave my position here in Gorgeous City. As I prepared for interviews in River City, Dr. J received two invitations as well--one in the same Midwest city he interviewed last year and one in the Northeast. All of which opened up a new conversation about the possibility that we'll both had to relocate.
March 2008
Which brings us to the present. During the last week of February and the beginning of this month, Dr. J and I went on our first campus visits and both went very well. He has already received several emails asking hypothetical questions about how much time he would need if given an offer and if he would be able to get an answer before we went away on our honeymoon. The institution is very well aware of our relationship and immediately wanted my CV and they are planning a meeting for this Monday to discuss my work! Depending on what they come up, it looks increasingly like we'll be moving to the Midwest. We had our hopes up for such a possibility last year, but this time it seems all the more real. The amount of information they've provided him with already (about grants and other goodies he could use for his research even if he didn't go there) has demonstrated beyond measure their interest in him and in me. I also had a good interview at a teaching institution near where Dr. J teaches currently and feel fairly comfortable that we will have a Plan B. Our second round of campus visits is scheduled for next week right after the wedding.
Yes, finally, the wedding is less than a week away now. We will finally be husband and wife! The best thing about my campus visit was that I got to see Dr. J. It has been about a month and our anticipation and excitement for our marriage has just been growing exponentially. It was wonderful to spend our last weekend as an engaged couple together. We went on a date and had a wonderful night talking about our future and making some of our first decisions together as a family. In everything that's happened this year, the ups and downs, I've found myself thanking God over and over again for my husband--I couldn't imagine doing all of this for anyone or anything else, and I can't imagine having gone through everything that happened this year without him.
I'm tired. I have final exams and papers to grade and final grades to submit. I have to start packing for our wedding, our honeymoon, and just my time away from here for a few weeks. I have a seminar to attend this week, and work to do for my department and my independent study students. I have wedding details (such as a seating chart) to send off. I am probably about to have the most tiring week ever--and I couldn't be happier!!
I'm getting married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
December 2007
After my birthday and the exams, I somehow got myself out of the grading hell I had gotten myself into. Fall semester was rough in that regard. It was also rough because I didn't hear anything back from the schools I had applied to or talked with during National Conference, and things were pretty quiet on Dr. J's front as well. But we had a wonderful time over the Christmas break finalizing the plans for our wedding and spending time with family. We addressed and sent out invitations, picked out flower arrangements, booked a lighting vendor, The hardest part was that over the course of four weeks, we probably spent about three of them on the road, primarily traveling to my Hometown for meetings and appointments. But the time together was wonderful and it was one of the best Christmas breaks I've ever had.
January 2008
And then, just like that school started again. I've never felt less prepared to teach a class I've already taught before. Although I had the luxury of just teaching two sections of my Major Course that I love, I was teaching it as an Accelerated Course--an eight week course formatted much like a summer class in the start of the spring semester. So I was teaching four days a week for three hours a night. Talk about draining! t was hard to stay on top of this class as it moved so fast, but by the end of January, I think I had gotten the hang of it. And despite all of our best efforts, I found myself in Hometown or some other travel destination just about every weekend. Unfortunately, January also brought the arrival of rejection letters from schools as well as several letters that indicated the programs did not receive the funding to go further with their search. By the end of the month, I was tired and extremely uncertain of how life would be after this short semester of teaching was over.
February 2008
Then last month, everything went into accelerated mode. My mom and my best friend threw me a wonderful bridal shower to start off the month. Then the next week, I was invited to participate in a special alumni program at my alma mater. I had a wonderful time, but felt a bit funny trying to give advice on how to negotiate the "real world" when so many things in my own life were up in the air. But of course, while I was away, I got my first invitation for a campus visit and a phone interview--both of which are close to where Dr. J works in River City! The prospect of us being close definitely helped propel me through more wedding planning and more intense teaching at the end of the month. But it also opened up the reality that I was going to have to negotiate how and when I might leave my position here in Gorgeous City. As I prepared for interviews in River City, Dr. J received two invitations as well--one in the same Midwest city he interviewed last year and one in the Northeast. All of which opened up a new conversation about the possibility that we'll both had to relocate.
March 2008
Which brings us to the present. During the last week of February and the beginning of this month, Dr. J and I went on our first campus visits and both went very well. He has already received several emails asking hypothetical questions about how much time he would need if given an offer and if he would be able to get an answer before we went away on our honeymoon. The institution is very well aware of our relationship and immediately wanted my CV and they are planning a meeting for this Monday to discuss my work! Depending on what they come up, it looks increasingly like we'll be moving to the Midwest. We had our hopes up for such a possibility last year, but this time it seems all the more real. The amount of information they've provided him with already (about grants and other goodies he could use for his research even if he didn't go there) has demonstrated beyond measure their interest in him and in me. I also had a good interview at a teaching institution near where Dr. J teaches currently and feel fairly comfortable that we will have a Plan B. Our second round of campus visits is scheduled for next week right after the wedding.
Yes, finally, the wedding is less than a week away now. We will finally be husband and wife! The best thing about my campus visit was that I got to see Dr. J. It has been about a month and our anticipation and excitement for our marriage has just been growing exponentially. It was wonderful to spend our last weekend as an engaged couple together. We went on a date and had a wonderful night talking about our future and making some of our first decisions together as a family. In everything that's happened this year, the ups and downs, I've found myself thanking God over and over again for my husband--I couldn't imagine doing all of this for anyone or anything else, and I can't imagine having gone through everything that happened this year without him.
I'm tired. I have final exams and papers to grade and final grades to submit. I have to start packing for our wedding, our honeymoon, and just my time away from here for a few weeks. I have a seminar to attend this week, and work to do for my department and my independent study students. I have wedding details (such as a seating chart) to send off. I am probably about to have the most tiring week ever--and I couldn't be happier!!
I'm getting married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
House Work
After days of eating like I don't have a wedding dress to get into, I'm finally back at home readjusting to my normal routine.
Today is a work day--even though it should be my writing day. It is the last week of classes here, so I must get caught up on this grading before exams begin. My must-finish work for today includes:
I probably won't get to these today, but I need to finish some work for my Wednesday class as well:
And of course, at some point I need:
This is going to require some coffee at some point.
Today is a work day--even though it should be my writing day. It is the last week of classes here, so I must get caught up on this grading before exams begin. My must-finish work for today includes:
- Grade
156 Textual Analysis Papers (6+ pgs. each) Grade 40 Reading Response Papers (2 pgs. each)Calculate Scores for 8 Presentations
I probably won't get to these today, but I need to finish some work for my Wednesday class as well:
- Grade 24 Current Event Response Papers
- Write up Evaluation Rubric for Final Project
- Grade 12 Current Event Response Papers
And of course, at some point I need:
Finish Cover Letters for Schools near Dr. J
This is going to require some coffee at some point.
Conference Review
I'm back in Gorgeous City (where the weather is still warm during the day) after a very chilly conference in Windy City. The conference was fun, but very busy. I didn't get much sleep so I slept for about 10 hours last night after my flight got in--it was much needed.
During the conference I:
During the conference I:
- Presented three papers, all of which were pretty well received. One of the big names in the discipline responded to one of my papers and requested a copy of my dissertation. I need to get that to her soon.
- Attended a number of interesting papers and panels--one of which gave a call for papers at the end.
- Hung out with my Matron of Honor and her husband. It was SO great to seem them. I can't wait until they get to come South for my wedding--I always seem to see them in the Midwest or the West.
- Made a new friend--Meg (or at least transformed an acquaintanceship into a bit more)! While I was in graduate school, there was a woman in the department similar to mine who sent out an email asking for participants for her Master's Thesis study. I hooked her up with my students and encouraged them to participate for extra credit. Ever since then, we stayed in touch, but never really hung out. Her advisor works on projects with Matron of Honor's husband, so we always cross paths at conferences. But this was the first conference during which we've spent time together. We had a really good time and it is nice to connect with another woman of color who is also a second year faculty member.
- Interviewed with three schools. Two of the schools are within an hour of Dr. J, but at least one of those schools has a 4/4 teaching load, and so it is taking everything in me not to rule it out completely. It is the type of institution I would like to teach it--very similar to where I am currently, but the department is brand new (it use to be a part of a MUCH larger division). The third school that I had the best interview with is an R1 and I've found myself hoping more and more that they'll invite me to campus. It would mean Dr. J would have to relocate again (which I don't like the idea of), but it would give me a great opportunity to work with great colleagues and to be on the same campus as Meg!
- Ate out way too much. (But I had some wonderful desserts!)
- Didn't finish grading papers--which means I'll be up all night tonight so I can get these things back to them before Thanksgiving.
Committee Work
There is exciting news for my department--we have been approved to search for a new faculty member in my specialty area. As we are already the largest department in the college, I am sure there will be some moans and groans, but this will really help to meet student demands in specialty area. Now that I am teaching this new course this semester, more and more students approach me/email me asking when it will be taught again. So it is exciting to know that this will become a part of our regular course offerings.
But this news brings up two issues. This will be the second of potentially three searches we are conducting this year. My department is constantly searching and not even because we keep losing people--we just don't seem to ever stop growing. Of the three searches, only one is to replace a member who relocated--the other two are new lines. It just seems crazy to be searching all of the time to me--and I just got here. I wonder how the more senior faculty feel....
Oh and I've just been informed that I am on the search committee. I honestly don't know if I'm looking for a colleague or a replacement. I may or may not be around next year so it feels weird to be invited to participate in this process. Chair knows that my situation is still developing so I assume s/he is okay with this since s/he designed the search committee. But I just don't know how to feel about this yet.
But this news brings up two issues. This will be the second of potentially three searches we are conducting this year. My department is constantly searching and not even because we keep losing people--we just don't seem to ever stop growing. Of the three searches, only one is to replace a member who relocated--the other two are new lines. It just seems crazy to be searching all of the time to me--and I just got here. I wonder how the more senior faculty feel....
Oh and I've just been informed that I am on the search committee. I honestly don't know if I'm looking for a colleague or a replacement. I may or may not be around next year so it feels weird to be invited to participate in this process. Chair knows that my situation is still developing so I assume s/he is okay with this since s/he designed the search committee. But I just don't know how to feel about this yet.
The Summer That Was...
I decided to use my last long weekend before school starts to spend some time in Hometown with Mom and to wrap up some more wedding business. Looking back over the summer, it seems that the wedding fared the best of all the things I needed to do. This weekend I booked our videographer, met another potential florist (waiting on a price estimate), and met with a wonderful woman who sells and creates invitations and programs. I'm really proud of the work that I've gotten done on the wedding and it feels good to know that by September, most of the big stuff is taken care of.
School work is a not-so-bad story. Today is really the first FULL day I've spent just grinding out work for my classes. I feel good about the work I've done today. I'm definitely going to be on autopilot with my Major Course--I've only made one change in the reading and jazzed up my WebCT layout a bit with my new technology skills. My new Speciality Course is organized--I worked on a lot of that through the technology seminar--but I still need to spend some time getting the content down in my head and preparing lesson plans. If I can get the first unit (four weeks) laid out before class next Wednesday, I'll be satisfied.
Writing, scholarly or otherwise, has suffered this summer. I could go on, but the thought of it depresses me. If I can get at least one of these articles off of my desk before I send off my first job application....
Speaking of which, the job search has been slow to start. I've been relentless searching the job ads again, but I haven't found one position to motivate me to begin the cover letter writing process. I know which schools I'm interested in, I just don't know if they are going to be hiring this year. Is it acceptable to send an email or letter expressing interest in a position that doesn't exist yet? I'm really interesting in a school that is just outside of the city where Dr. J is teaching--would it be a good move or a bad move to just send them a letter and CV??
I feel so confused about what to do next professionally. I even had the thought of going back to school. Imagine that. I'm definitely not looking forward to our first faculty meeting of the semester tomorrow where we resume our discussion of a very messy issue. Given that I'm going back on the market, I feel even less inclined to get involved in this debate and don't know how I'm going to negotiate this meeting. It should be interesting though, to say the least--interesting and LONG.
Goodbye summer--helllloooo school year!
School work is a not-so-bad story. Today is really the first FULL day I've spent just grinding out work for my classes. I feel good about the work I've done today. I'm definitely going to be on autopilot with my Major Course--I've only made one change in the reading and jazzed up my WebCT layout a bit with my new technology skills. My new Speciality Course is organized--I worked on a lot of that through the technology seminar--but I still need to spend some time getting the content down in my head and preparing lesson plans. If I can get the first unit (four weeks) laid out before class next Wednesday, I'll be satisfied.
Writing, scholarly or otherwise, has suffered this summer. I could go on, but the thought of it depresses me. If I can get at least one of these articles off of my desk before I send off my first job application....
Speaking of which, the job search has been slow to start. I've been relentless searching the job ads again, but I haven't found one position to motivate me to begin the cover letter writing process. I know which schools I'm interested in, I just don't know if they are going to be hiring this year. Is it acceptable to send an email or letter expressing interest in a position that doesn't exist yet? I'm really interesting in a school that is just outside of the city where Dr. J is teaching--would it be a good move or a bad move to just send them a letter and CV??
I feel so confused about what to do next professionally. I even had the thought of going back to school. Imagine that. I'm definitely not looking forward to our first faculty meeting of the semester tomorrow where we resume our discussion of a very messy issue. Given that I'm going back on the market, I feel even less inclined to get involved in this debate and don't know how I'm going to negotiate this meeting. It should be interesting though, to say the least--interesting and LONG.
Goodbye summer--helllloooo school year!
I Made It!
After two grueling weeks, I've made it through our institution's intensive training program for faculty. It was excellent--I learned soo much. But goodness I am exhausted. The program was just further confirmation that I am fortunate to not have a job that requires me to sit at a desk from 8-5. Just the sitting for so long was rough. Add to that hours of techno-speak that was at times too remedial and at other times too advance--it was a demanding program. The rewards, however, definitely outweighed the demands. I have so many wonderful classroom ideas and so much great software and hardware to work with. My favorite new program of the day is Audacity which you can do a lot of easy sound recording and editing with.
I'm also itching even more now for a new personal computer. I've been using my school laptop all year because my dissertation machine crashes every day. I had serious Mac-envy during this seminar, but today I fell in love with the Tablet PC. How cool would it be to read and comment on papers on the screen?? After lugging a stack of 75 student writing packs of 20-40 pages around at the end of last year, I definitely would love to go entirely electronic one of these days.
I'm completely exhausted, but still awake. Why? I have to give a speech in the morning in Hometown. So I'll be up at 6 in the morning again to take the drive. Dr. J and I also have another counseling session tomorrow so we'll be in Hometown all day. I wish I hadn't packed so much into my end of the summer schedule because Dr. J is leaving town NEXT WEEK. The summer has gone by too fast and I do wish I had a bit more time to spend with him. But now I have to seriously get back into school mode. In the words of one of my colleagues yesterday, "well, I guess that's what August is for."
On a separate note: GO BONDS!!! 754 BABY!!! SHAKE THOSE HATERS OFF!!!
(another day I must address the disproportionate negative media treatment of a Black male athlete who has repeatedly tested negatively)
I'm also itching even more now for a new personal computer. I've been using my school laptop all year because my dissertation machine crashes every day. I had serious Mac-envy during this seminar, but today I fell in love with the Tablet PC. How cool would it be to read and comment on papers on the screen?? After lugging a stack of 75 student writing packs of 20-40 pages around at the end of last year, I definitely would love to go entirely electronic one of these days.
I'm completely exhausted, but still awake. Why? I have to give a speech in the morning in Hometown. So I'll be up at 6 in the morning again to take the drive. Dr. J and I also have another counseling session tomorrow so we'll be in Hometown all day. I wish I hadn't packed so much into my end of the summer schedule because Dr. J is leaving town NEXT WEEK. The summer has gone by too fast and I do wish I had a bit more time to spend with him. But now I have to seriously get back into school mode. In the words of one of my colleagues yesterday, "well, I guess that's what August is for."
On a separate note: GO BONDS!!! 754 BABY!!! SHAKE THOSE HATERS OFF!!!
(another day I must address the disproportionate negative media treatment of a Black male athlete who has repeatedly tested negatively)
I'm In School
It has been such a busy week. I started this long post about it yesterday, but I haven't had quite enough time to finish yet. Part of the reason--I'm being a student again. I'm in this GREAT instructional technology program and we are learning about so many great resources. One of my favorite for the day: Internet Archives. I'd used the Wayback Machine before but I'd never looked at the Moving Images archive--the Prelinger and Universal Newsreel are two of my new toys and I'm going to be using them a lot in the fall. There are some gems such as this wonderful instructional film on what to do in case things go to hell in a handbasket:
Conference on Academic Writing
I just ran across information on an organization that is new to me: TAA. According to their website:
TAA's 2007 Conference will be in Buffalo, NY this June providing sessions in two tracks: textbooks authors & academic authors. This looks really interesting and of course the session on "dissertation to book" caught my eye.
Is this conference/organization just new to me?
TAA was established in 1987 as the Textbook Authors Association.
The association was for people interested in developing and publishing all kinds of educational materials, including textbooks, software, videos, monographs, reference books, newsletters, multimedia CD-ROM disks and others. TAA changed its name to Text and Academic Authors in 1993 to reflect the membership's interest in issues involving academic journals and other academic writing.
In these roles, TAA represents text and academic authors in matters involving them, including taxes, copyright and better appreciation of their work within academe.
Not secondarily, the association is committed to improving the quality of educational materials.
TAA's 2007 Conference will be in Buffalo, NY this June providing sessions in two tracks: textbooks authors & academic authors. This looks really interesting and of course the session on "dissertation to book" caught my eye.
Is this conference/organization just new to me?
First Year Wouldn't Be Complete Without...
1) A case of plagiarism.
2) A huge rift in my new department.
More on both later. Right now I'm just so blown away by the disappointing revelations of the day.
2) A huge rift in my new department.
More on both later. Right now I'm just so blown away by the disappointing revelations of the day.
The Week Ahead
I am looking forward to the end of this week. I have my last two finals on Tuesday. While I will miss my students (most of them), I am looking forward to a break from campus and going to University Town for Dr. J's defense. There will be much celebration when I get through all these papers and exams and submit my final grades.
I am not looking forward to my faculty meeting this week which continues discussion of this. At our most recent meeting, I did discover that my cause for concern was correct--I was completely clueless that there is a huge divide in our department As our conversations expanded beyond the initial topic from the administration, a bit of a "fight" between the factions I didn't know about in our department broke out. Over the past couple of weeks I've discovered the ugly underbelly of my department and (although I was waiting for it) the final shoe has officially dropped. I knew that there were politics in my department--I've been watching them play out over the endless series of meeting we've been having of late. However, I didn't know that certain members of the department actually devalue other members of the department. I knew we were a diverse group with different research and teaching interests that stretch the far reaches of our discipline--but apparently I had bought into the lie that we market to the world--that we value our disciplinary diversity. And unfortunately, it goes beyond that to fundamental differences in opinion about what does and doesn't belong in the "discipline" and what our students should (or shouldn't) "waste their times learning." I had no idea there were such fundamental differences in our department, and it is frustrating because it really could end in a very tangible separation. I hate feeling like I have to pick "a side," and I hate knowing that this issue will unlikely be resolved at our last meeting of the year and will "haunt" us all for the entire summer.
I am not looking forward to my faculty meeting this week which continues discussion of this. At our most recent meeting, I did discover that my cause for concern was correct--I was completely clueless that there is a huge divide in our department As our conversations expanded beyond the initial topic from the administration, a bit of a "fight" between the factions I didn't know about in our department broke out. Over the past couple of weeks I've discovered the ugly underbelly of my department and (although I was waiting for it) the final shoe has officially dropped. I knew that there were politics in my department--I've been watching them play out over the endless series of meeting we've been having of late. However, I didn't know that certain members of the department actually devalue other members of the department. I knew we were a diverse group with different research and teaching interests that stretch the far reaches of our discipline--but apparently I had bought into the lie that we market to the world--that we value our disciplinary diversity. And unfortunately, it goes beyond that to fundamental differences in opinion about what does and doesn't belong in the "discipline" and what our students should (or shouldn't) "waste their times learning." I had no idea there were such fundamental differences in our department, and it is frustrating because it really could end in a very tangible separation. I hate feeling like I have to pick "a side," and I hate knowing that this issue will unlikely be resolved at our last meeting of the year and will "haunt" us all for the entire summer.
I Might Read a Book
One of the major drawbacks of my institution here in Gorgeous City is the library. I miss the big sprawling research university libraries! Fortunately, our Interlibrary Loan Office is fabulous and has fulfilled all of my assorted requests this year (well all except for one documentary). The challenge becomes figure out what I need ahead of time to ensure that it is here for the time period I need it. That challenge has caused me to order things in splurges. In going through my latest batch today, I realized that I have a book on my desk that I can't remember why I asked for it. I started browsing through the index to see if it had some connection to the articles I've been thinking about. I couldn't come up with anything. So I started to read the preface. The preface actually reminds me a bit of the personal approach I took in my dissertation. As I move into the first chapter, it dawns on me, I'm reading a book--and I'm enjoying it. I haven't enjoyed reading a book since the summer. So I think that this weekend to celebrate getting through that awful pile of papers, I'm going to read the book, If You Can't Be Free, Be a Mystery: In Search of Billie Holiday. Just because I feel like it.
Cause for Concern
So Tuesday we had a long and arduous faculty meeting. There was much debate--not really at each other--about the changing face of the university and the seemingly endless amount of "action step" coming from the administration without resources or support. We were invited by the administration to "begin a conversation" related to teaching and research. There are certain goals the admins would like to see put in place, but we are left to our own devices and our own budgets to figure out how to accomplish these goals. Now on the surface, it sounds really nice what they are asking us to aim for; however, there are significant pedagogical and research implications given the massive amounts of majors in our department. While some departments will be able to adopt this change quickly, a change for us means that we take a hit in some other area.
Now, as per usual, I don't say anything in these meetings. Rarely. Although I feel my voice is valued, I often feel I lack the institutional and departmental history needed to say something significant. Ordinarily, Chair seems okay with this. But tonight I and two of the newest faculty members received a note from Chair that indicated we might want to speak up on this because we actually had more to lose on this issue than some of the senior faculty. I suddenly felt like I missed something. I'm absolutely unclear how this carries more weight for us. I'm going to have to talk to the other new faculty members--hopefully they can clue me in before I speak with Chair.
Now, as per usual, I don't say anything in these meetings. Rarely. Although I feel my voice is valued, I often feel I lack the institutional and departmental history needed to say something significant. Ordinarily, Chair seems okay with this. But tonight I and two of the newest faculty members received a note from Chair that indicated we might want to speak up on this because we actually had more to lose on this issue than some of the senior faculty. I suddenly felt like I missed something. I'm absolutely unclear how this carries more weight for us. I'm going to have to talk to the other new faculty members--hopefully they can clue me in before I speak with Chair.
Good Decision
So today, my department's VIPs are in town. We are really fortunate as a department to have a group of A-list professionals from various corporations and related entities to our field who basically serve as "sponsors" to our department. The VIPs come South to our campus once or twice a year although they get together more often in several of the nation's largest cities. In any event, their arrival means lots of events and meetings where faculty are encouraged to attend. Things such as this have their benefits and drawbacks. For me, as the newbie and the only raisin in the bowl of milk, I often feel an additional encouragement to attend. I was especially encouraged today when I ran into one of the White House connected VIPs who was "so excited to meet me" and who informed me that "Chair is a big fan of you" (translation--we've been talking about you).
After teaching two classes and coordinating my independent study, I had a decision to make.
Choice A: Kick it with the VIPs, get home around 10 or 11PM, and then try to work and be up for VIP function in the AM.
Choice B: Go home and catch up on work that I missed this week to clear my docket for the next 50 papers that are getting turned in tomorrow. Kick it with VIPs in the AM.
After a little internal debate, I opted for Choice B. It was a good decision because I was tremendously productive and tackled a mountain of papers that I was beginning to suffocate under. But the hardest part is ignoring the nagging voice in my head that says "you shoulda gone." I know in my heart that I can't be everywhere and do everything all the time, but I don't always believe that in my head--my mind loves to over think these things and I end up feeling guilty or like I somehow failed when I don't balance all the balls I got going in the air right now. And unfortunately, I really allowed a lot of that thinking to go unchecked through the dissertation year. So after finally hitting a bottom and crashing and burning this week, I am doing my best to just say--"Good decision Mon"--and stick with that.
After teaching two classes and coordinating my independent study, I had a decision to make.
Choice A: Kick it with the VIPs, get home around 10 or 11PM, and then try to work and be up for VIP function in the AM.
Choice B: Go home and catch up on work that I missed this week to clear my docket for the next 50 papers that are getting turned in tomorrow. Kick it with VIPs in the AM.
After a little internal debate, I opted for Choice B. It was a good decision because I was tremendously productive and tackled a mountain of papers that I was beginning to suffocate under. But the hardest part is ignoring the nagging voice in my head that says "you shoulda gone." I know in my heart that I can't be everywhere and do everything all the time, but I don't always believe that in my head--my mind loves to over think these things and I end up feeling guilty or like I somehow failed when I don't balance all the balls I got going in the air right now. And unfortunately, I really allowed a lot of that thinking to go unchecked through the dissertation year. So after finally hitting a bottom and crashing and burning this week, I am doing my best to just say--"Good decision Mon"--and stick with that.
Gotta Work it Out
Although I hate Tuesdays with a passion, I actually like Mondays (most of the time). This is my day to write--I don't go to campus and try to avoid all class related work on Mondays. This week I needed my Monday to get back on my regular workout schedule at the gym. Since we returned from Spring Break, I've been rushing to get back on schedule with my teaching and grading so I missed a whole week at the gym. It was good to get back to the gym today--even though I am thoroughly exhausted now.
I'm still a bit behind on class prep stuff, so unfortunately my writing is going to be on the back burner today. I desperately want to get an article or two off for review before the semester ends, but it looks more and more like that is not going to happen. I haven't given up completely yet; hopefully I will find a little time today to at least look at the revisions that I need to do on one of my pieces. Based on the last comments from my writing group, my 19th Century Piece #1 needs more focus and a stronger argument. I have a new outline for it, but I need a bit more time to think about it. That piece probably won't go out until the summer. In the meantime, it may be more practical to focus on 19th Century Piece #2 and/or Chapter Six from the dissertation. Both are works in progress at the moment. Although Chair indicated in my evaluation meeting that I am on the right track, it is very uncomfortable for me to still be without any publications on my CV other than little encyclopedia works. I really want to spend the summer on my book prospectus, but I already see that goal getting pushed back if I can't get some of these potential journal articles out of the potential category.
Sigh. For now, it is time to do some grading and some reading--I'll think about this writing business later today.
I'm still a bit behind on class prep stuff, so unfortunately my writing is going to be on the back burner today. I desperately want to get an article or two off for review before the semester ends, but it looks more and more like that is not going to happen. I haven't given up completely yet; hopefully I will find a little time today to at least look at the revisions that I need to do on one of my pieces. Based on the last comments from my writing group, my 19th Century Piece #1 needs more focus and a stronger argument. I have a new outline for it, but I need a bit more time to think about it. That piece probably won't go out until the summer. In the meantime, it may be more practical to focus on 19th Century Piece #2 and/or Chapter Six from the dissertation. Both are works in progress at the moment. Although Chair indicated in my evaluation meeting that I am on the right track, it is very uncomfortable for me to still be without any publications on my CV other than little encyclopedia works. I really want to spend the summer on my book prospectus, but I already see that goal getting pushed back if I can't get some of these potential journal articles out of the potential category.
Sigh. For now, it is time to do some grading and some reading--I'll think about this writing business later today.
Office Meditations
When I make plans to be productive at the office, I am constantly interrupted by students. Today, however, is the first exception ever. Thanks Spring Break. It has been wonderfully quiet on campus since we (the faculty) came back from break. I'm looking forward to the students coming back at some point. But seriously, it was so strange that I had my best attendance in my earliest class yesterday. As the day went on, I saw less and less students--not just in my class, but even walking around campus. It was like a ghost town by 5:00 and I couldn't understand why until it hit me--it is 5:00, it is in the high 70s, and there are still a few hours of daylight. I think we've officially lost our students to the coastline for the rest of the semester. Sigh. Well if that is the case: Thanks warm weather! Thanks sunshine! I'm finally getting some work done at the office!
In other the spirit of sunshine, I received a lot of good news yesterday, on one of my longest Tuesdays yet. After only a couple hours of sleep Monday night due to grading and rereading Assata, I had to be on campus extra early for the annual meeting with Chair. The meeting went really well, and my wonderful efficient chair had a nice report typed up for me that we just reviewed. The report was warm and positive and indicated that I'm on the right track--yeah! Later in the day I learned that my most recent short article was accepted for a reference work in my subfield. I'm really excited about that because it was a last minute invitation to write by a Big name in the discipline--so that was very cool news. Lastly, I learned I am among a small group of faculty selected to attend a summer tech program that my institution puts on each year. I was afraid that they didn't have enough applicants because they extended the deadline, but it turns out there were many more applicants than there were available seats. So I'm so excited. We get all kinds of new technology for participating and extra summer $$ which I could definitely use!
Hopefully the increasing sunshine is a sign on more positive things to come for this half of the semester--maybe spring is just what I need to fight off these winter blues. (Ok back to work).
In other the spirit of sunshine, I received a lot of good news yesterday, on one of my longest Tuesdays yet. After only a couple hours of sleep Monday night due to grading and rereading Assata, I had to be on campus extra early for the annual meeting with Chair. The meeting went really well, and my wonderful efficient chair had a nice report typed up for me that we just reviewed. The report was warm and positive and indicated that I'm on the right track--yeah! Later in the day I learned that my most recent short article was accepted for a reference work in my subfield. I'm really excited about that because it was a last minute invitation to write by a Big name in the discipline--so that was very cool news. Lastly, I learned I am among a small group of faculty selected to attend a summer tech program that my institution puts on each year. I was afraid that they didn't have enough applicants because they extended the deadline, but it turns out there were many more applicants than there were available seats. So I'm so excited. We get all kinds of new technology for participating and extra summer $$ which I could definitely use!
Hopefully the increasing sunshine is a sign on more positive things to come for this half of the semester--maybe spring is just what I need to fight off these winter blues. (Ok back to work).
Oh Break, Where Did You Go?
It is Monday already. How about that.
I STILL need to finish grading papers. I entered some very inaccurate midterm grades a few minutes ago, and I sooooo don't feel like grading the rest of these papers. But I really need to get these back tomorrow so they can make the needed corrections before the final paper is due.
I STILL need to reread Assata. I've never taught it before (good move Mon) so I must make some time today to think about what we will do tomorrow.
I STILL need to review these papers for Major Conference--I thought getting more involved in the discipline was a good idea at the time.
I STILL need some sleep. I was awaken this morning by some major cramps--what I nice way to start the week back. Thanks. I must get some sleep for my meeting with Chair in the morning (yes my extra long Tuesday is going to be even longer than normal tomorrow).
I STILL need to unpack, go grocery shopping, make some phone calls, return emails, and do some laundry for the week.
Oh Break. Darn you.
I STILL need to finish grading papers. I entered some very inaccurate midterm grades a few minutes ago, and I sooooo don't feel like grading the rest of these papers. But I really need to get these back tomorrow so they can make the needed corrections before the final paper is due.
I STILL need to reread Assata. I've never taught it before (good move Mon) so I must make some time today to think about what we will do tomorrow.
I STILL need to review these papers for Major Conference--I thought getting more involved in the discipline was a good idea at the time.
I STILL need some sleep. I was awaken this morning by some major cramps--what I nice way to start the week back. Thanks. I must get some sleep for my meeting with Chair in the morning (yes my extra long Tuesday is going to be even longer than normal tomorrow).
I STILL need to unpack, go grocery shopping, make some phone calls, return emails, and do some laundry for the week.
Oh Break. Darn you.
Connecting
Just in time to rescue me from the winter blues, I heard from Wonderful Mentor, who always seems to know just when to send me an email. I miss her terribly. We haven't talked much since I've moved to Gorgeous City due to my move and her promotion/new administrative duties. So it was good to just feel connected again.
I'm mulling over Doc's post about the many things about being a new faculty member that were not surprising to her. Part of me feels the same way--I knew it would be fun and exhausting to get back to teaching after a year off. I knew I'd be super busy. I knew the commute would drive me crazy some days. I knew being so close to home would drive me crazy others.
I did not expect to do much reading, especially after the binge reading I did this summer while working at the library. But I didn't think I would be so behind on my writing goals for the academic year. I've revised a few papers for conferences and submitted a short biographical piece for a collection, but I definitely wanted to have one or two articles under review by now. The positive side is that I never expected to be in a writing group and that has been a wonderful experience--I just wish I was giving them a bit more of my stuff to read! And there is still plenty of time in 2007 thank goodness.
Most of all though, I definitely didn't anticipate feeling disconnected. I always thought of graduate school as this rites of passage process--this thing you have to go through to get through the other side. Perhaps it was just an analogy that worked for me because of my experience in the fraternity/sorority community. I thought that much like Greek-lettered processes, I would come through on the other side and feel more a part of the whole. The whole ivory tower thingy-ma-jiggy. Some days I do--when I'm having interesting conversations with colleagues or students or making new connections to colleagues in other parts of the countries. But most days--when I'm sitting in class or meetings or in my office grading--I don't.
There are a lot of reasons for this disconnectedness--most of which I can't go into here. Undoubtedly a few are my "fault," but many are purely the random result of a weird matrix of organization structure, demography, geography, time, and resources. The challenging part for me right now is negotiating how much energy to place in working on the vague goal to "get more connected." That I don't have the answer to yet.
I'm mulling over Doc's post about the many things about being a new faculty member that were not surprising to her. Part of me feels the same way--I knew it would be fun and exhausting to get back to teaching after a year off. I knew I'd be super busy. I knew the commute would drive me crazy some days. I knew being so close to home would drive me crazy others.
I did not expect to do much reading, especially after the binge reading I did this summer while working at the library. But I didn't think I would be so behind on my writing goals for the academic year. I've revised a few papers for conferences and submitted a short biographical piece for a collection, but I definitely wanted to have one or two articles under review by now. The positive side is that I never expected to be in a writing group and that has been a wonderful experience--I just wish I was giving them a bit more of my stuff to read! And there is still plenty of time in 2007 thank goodness.
Most of all though, I definitely didn't anticipate feeling disconnected. I always thought of graduate school as this rites of passage process--this thing you have to go through to get through the other side. Perhaps it was just an analogy that worked for me because of my experience in the fraternity/sorority community. I thought that much like Greek-lettered processes, I would come through on the other side and feel more a part of the whole. The whole ivory tower thingy-ma-jiggy. Some days I do--when I'm having interesting conversations with colleagues or students or making new connections to colleagues in other parts of the countries. But most days--when I'm sitting in class or meetings or in my office grading--I don't.
There are a lot of reasons for this disconnectedness--most of which I can't go into here. Undoubtedly a few are my "fault," but many are purely the random result of a weird matrix of organization structure, demography, geography, time, and resources. The challenging part for me right now is negotiating how much energy to place in working on the vague goal to "get more connected." That I don't have the answer to yet.
Terrible Tuesdays
I'm slowly realizing how big an impact my schedule this semester is having on my emotional state. I did not know that just one long day in my week could so greatly alter my mood. But I have come to the conclusion that my Tuesdays are just terrible.
Typical Dr. Mon Tuesday:
8AM-10AM: Get up -- get dressed (and try to have breakfast) -- take the 30 minute commute to campus.
10AM-12PM: Prep for class, answer emails, make copies (general office stuff). I have attempted to minimize this time period and just take my time getting to the office, but I've found that the less time I have to get mentally ready for class, the more rushed and disconnected I feel throughout the entire day.
12PM-3PM: Teach back to back sections of my Course for Majors. I enjoy this class a lot but it is very high energy and extremely interactive. I'm usually worn out by the time I finish.
3PM-4:30PM: Meetings. It should be that only once a month I have a Dept. meeting or some other university meeting, but in reviewing my schedule, we've had mtgs 2-3 times a month this semester due to various searches and planning needs.
4:30-5:30PM: Eat and reorganize my thoughts for my next class.
6PM-9PM: Teach my Speciality Course. I was really jazzed about this class but I've found that it is a tremendous drain to 1) teach at the end of a long day--2) talk to silent students who are at the end of their long day--3) talk to students who are reluctant to discuss (outloud) anything that is new and unfamiliar. (That's for another post).
9PM-10PM: Arrive back at home. Eat. Try to spend some quality date time with Dr. J before passing out. Every Tuesday I get home, I'm exhausted--no matter what adjustments I make to my schedule.
On Monday I told Dr. J that I hate Tuesdays. And I really meant it. Tuesdays shape the tone for my whole week, and I spend Wednesday and Thursday trying to recover. I like working out to start my day, but as the semester goes on, I've found all of my Wednesday gym time has been pushed from morning to late Wednesday night.
The good news is--we are halfway through the semester. Although my schedule next semester has its quirks, I won't be in this situation again. I've realized that as a department newbie, while it is important to be vigilant of your time commitments, it is also important that you are careful about guarding your schedule.
Typical Dr. Mon Tuesday:
8AM-10AM: Get up -- get dressed (and try to have breakfast) -- take the 30 minute commute to campus.
10AM-12PM: Prep for class, answer emails, make copies (general office stuff). I have attempted to minimize this time period and just take my time getting to the office, but I've found that the less time I have to get mentally ready for class, the more rushed and disconnected I feel throughout the entire day.
12PM-3PM: Teach back to back sections of my Course for Majors. I enjoy this class a lot but it is very high energy and extremely interactive. I'm usually worn out by the time I finish.
3PM-4:30PM: Meetings. It should be that only once a month I have a Dept. meeting or some other university meeting, but in reviewing my schedule, we've had mtgs 2-3 times a month this semester due to various searches and planning needs.
4:30-5:30PM: Eat and reorganize my thoughts for my next class.
6PM-9PM: Teach my Speciality Course. I was really jazzed about this class but I've found that it is a tremendous drain to 1) teach at the end of a long day--2) talk to silent students who are at the end of their long day--3) talk to students who are reluctant to discuss (outloud) anything that is new and unfamiliar. (That's for another post).
9PM-10PM: Arrive back at home. Eat. Try to spend some quality date time with Dr. J before passing out. Every Tuesday I get home, I'm exhausted--no matter what adjustments I make to my schedule.
On Monday I told Dr. J that I hate Tuesdays. And I really meant it. Tuesdays shape the tone for my whole week, and I spend Wednesday and Thursday trying to recover. I like working out to start my day, but as the semester goes on, I've found all of my Wednesday gym time has been pushed from morning to late Wednesday night.
The good news is--we are halfway through the semester. Although my schedule next semester has its quirks, I won't be in this situation again. I've realized that as a department newbie, while it is important to be vigilant of your time commitments, it is also important that you are careful about guarding your schedule.
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