Good Decision

So today, my department's VIPs are in town. We are really fortunate as a department to have a group of A-list professionals from various corporations and related entities to our field who basically serve as "sponsors" to our department. The VIPs come South to our campus once or twice a year although they get together more often in several of the nation's largest cities. In any event, their arrival means lots of events and meetings where faculty are encouraged to attend. Things such as this have their benefits and drawbacks. For me, as the newbie and the only raisin in the bowl of milk, I often feel an additional encouragement to attend. I was especially encouraged today when I ran into one of the White House connected VIPs who was "so excited to meet me" and who informed me that "Chair is a big fan of you" (translation--we've been talking about you).

After teaching two classes and coordinating my independent study, I had a decision to make.
Choice A: Kick it with the VIPs, get home around 10 or 11PM, and then try to work and be up for VIP function in the AM.
Choice B: Go home and catch up on work that I missed this week to clear my docket for the next 50 papers that are getting turned in tomorrow. Kick it with VIPs in the AM.

After a little internal debate, I opted for Choice B. It was a good decision because I was tremendously productive and tackled a mountain of papers that I was beginning to suffocate under. But the hardest part is ignoring the nagging voice in my head that says "you shoulda gone." I know in my heart that I can't be everywhere and do everything all the time, but I don't always believe that in my head--my mind loves to over think these things and I end up feeling guilty or like I somehow failed when I don't balance all the balls I got going in the air right now. And unfortunately, I really allowed a lot of that thinking to go unchecked through the dissertation year. So after finally hitting a bottom and crashing and burning this week, I am doing my best to just say--"Good decision Mon"--and stick with that.