...Still ain't done what I'm tryin to do...--Kindred the Family Soul (don't sleep on the new album, In This Life Together, it's permanently lodged in my CD drive--and no I don't have a DVD drive yet.)
Cover letters for the first two applications are DONE. Need to polish up that durn teaching portfolio STILL. I must: 1) proof the philosophy 2) print up some cute section dividers 3) make a table of contents 4) figure out how I want to bind this thing 5) take it to a copy shop..... And it all needs to be done by Monday!!
As of yet, Third Chapter is still on my desk. Man I wanted to be done with it today. Still some hours left.
I'm going to table sending off that second manuscript until after I get these applications in the mail. I definitely want to get it out before Major Conference in November.
Still ain't done what I'm tryin to do.
It's going to be not-fun weekend. But hopefully productive.
End of the Month Reflections
Man, September turned out to be such a different month for me than July and August. I'm tempted to, but I'm not going to say less productive, because I had different needs this month. I needed to rest and I did--physically and mentally. I needed to get out of the house and have some fun--and I did. I needed to get ready for job season and I did; I got organized and the ball is rolling.
But gracious, there is so much more still to do. My to-do lists on my blog, in my Outlook, on my desks are calling me. Quite a few items still need to be checked off!! But still, I need to not diminish my accomplishments--I did get some good work this month. Going into this final weekend, I will do some serious work finishing Third Chapter and getting these first two applications out the door.
October is definitely going to be a "back on the grind" month. A good thing. Main goal--to be finishing up Fifth Chapter by the time I go to the National Conference in November. But before I get ahead of myself, Third Chapter calls....
But gracious, there is so much more still to do. My to-do lists on my blog, in my Outlook, on my desks are calling me. Quite a few items still need to be checked off!! But still, I need to not diminish my accomplishments--I did get some good work this month. Going into this final weekend, I will do some serious work finishing Third Chapter and getting these first two applications out the door.
October is definitely going to be a "back on the grind" month. A good thing. Main goal--to be finishing up Fifth Chapter by the time I go to the National Conference in November. But before I get ahead of myself, Third Chapter calls....
15 Day Hold
I have to give myself incentives to work. Positive reinforcement goes a long way with me. As does guilt. My next big weekend of fun is 15 days away, so I'm plugging away at getting my work done in the meantime. I finished all of my logistical work for my applications: transcripts requested, credential file is set up, funding applications completed for the National Conference, letters of recommendation sorted out and updated--good productive days work on that front. I still need to polish up my teaching portfolio, and I'm waiting for more feedback on Cover Letter #2. I'm on track to get my first two packages sent out this week.
Now the dissertation--The ol' diss and I need to spend some serious time together over the course of the next 15 days. Three more good days on Third Chapter and I'm sending it off. Although this work of writing without a net is becoming increasingly nerve-racking, I'm going to just keep doing what I do and keep cranking chapter drafts out--revising is a lot easier than working from scratch--I think. As my undergraduate advisor told me this evening, "Trust your own insights, your own feedback. Just know that you know what you need to write, and just write." I need to get back to doing a little more of that in the next few days. So job stuff is taking a backseat until at least Saturday so I can just write.
Now the dissertation--The ol' diss and I need to spend some serious time together over the course of the next 15 days. Three more good days on Third Chapter and I'm sending it off. Although this work of writing without a net is becoming increasingly nerve-racking, I'm going to just keep doing what I do and keep cranking chapter drafts out--revising is a lot easier than working from scratch--I think. As my undergraduate advisor told me this evening, "Trust your own insights, your own feedback. Just know that you know what you need to write, and just write." I need to get back to doing a little more of that in the next few days. So job stuff is taking a backseat until at least Saturday so I can just write.
The Increasing Mess That is My Job Search
My first annual academic job search is going full steam ahead. Unlike a couple months ago, I think I'm finally committed to seeing this thing through. The score to date:
Tenure Track Positions: 7
PostDoc Positions: 8
Relatively small count compared to the 50 and 60 applications I hear folks in English send out around MLA. But it's more than enough for me. I realize my odds of landing a job decrease with the smaller selection pool, but I just can't bring myself applying to places just based on name recognition or prestige in the field. I've kicked a few out of my original pool and decided on positions where I could actually see myself. It's a motley crew of interdisciplinary postdocs and jobs--with a few in my field at liberal arts and research intensive institutions. For the first time in this search, I'm pleased with my selection, but I'm ALL over the place. There's no clear sense of what I really want to come out of this mess. But that's okay for now. Got that second cover letter drafted and sent out for feedback tonight. Now I can sleep.
Tenure Track Positions: 7
PostDoc Positions: 8
Relatively small count compared to the 50 and 60 applications I hear folks in English send out around MLA. But it's more than enough for me. I realize my odds of landing a job decrease with the smaller selection pool, but I just can't bring myself applying to places just based on name recognition or prestige in the field. I've kicked a few out of my original pool and decided on positions where I could actually see myself. It's a motley crew of interdisciplinary postdocs and jobs--with a few in my field at liberal arts and research intensive institutions. For the first time in this search, I'm pleased with my selection, but I'm ALL over the place. There's no clear sense of what I really want to come out of this mess. But that's okay for now. Got that second cover letter drafted and sent out for feedback tonight. Now I can sleep.
How Do You Know What You Know?
First, and most importantly, I haven't really done any writing on my dissertation this week. That sucks. Maybe tonight. I think in the back of my head I know I still have enough time to get this draft out by the end of the week so I'm not feeling pressed. Unfortunately, I need a little personal deadline pressure right now to get me going.
But my first two job application deadlines are approaching and I don't need the pressure. I'm definitely starting to feel rushed to put stuff together. I've been working steadily on my materials but I'm feeling a little frazzled. I think it's because this is my FIRST set of applications I'm sending out. My internal perfectionism is in overdrive right now. My first application to go in is to one of my top choices so that is keeping the stress level a little higher than normal. And because it's my among my top choices, I don't want to wait till the last minute to send this stuff off. I really want to have everything in the mail EARLY next week. Once I get these applications in the mail, I'll feel like I can breathe again--at least until my November deadlines start approaching!
So I'm polishing up my first two cover letters to go out. The one in my major field is pretty much set to go--feelin good about it. The second one makes me ask--how do I know what I know?? The institution has specifically asked that letters show one's interdisciplinary knowledge. Well how do you show knowledge in a letter? I'm not happy with what I have so far--I don't think it is doing what it's supposed to do--so I need to finish up this draft TONIGHT and send it out for feedback...
But my first two job application deadlines are approaching and I don't need the pressure. I'm definitely starting to feel rushed to put stuff together. I've been working steadily on my materials but I'm feeling a little frazzled. I think it's because this is my FIRST set of applications I'm sending out. My internal perfectionism is in overdrive right now. My first application to go in is to one of my top choices so that is keeping the stress level a little higher than normal. And because it's my among my top choices, I don't want to wait till the last minute to send this stuff off. I really want to have everything in the mail EARLY next week. Once I get these applications in the mail, I'll feel like I can breathe again--at least until my November deadlines start approaching!
So I'm polishing up my first two cover letters to go out. The one in my major field is pretty much set to go--feelin good about it. The second one makes me ask--how do I know what I know?? The institution has specifically asked that letters show one's interdisciplinary knowledge. Well how do you show knowledge in a letter? I'm not happy with what I have so far--I don't think it is doing what it's supposed to do--so I need to finish up this draft TONIGHT and send it out for feedback...
Back in Business
Today I'm recovering from a wonderful weekend of being a sister and princess. I had a fabulous time away from home and my trip turned out to be a great mini-vacation. I'm a little sad today that it's over, but I have a lot of business to get on this week.
Job market:
Job market:
- Before I left I found a couple more positions I want to apply for so I need to get out some more request for letters.
- One of my letter writers wants to discuss some things with me--need to call her TODAY.
- Need to apply for additional funding to go to the national conference.
- Need to finish my teaching portfolio and finalize the first cover letter that is going out.
- Must get going on drafting new cover letters for the other positions due in November.
- I really want to order some business cards--need to call my institution and do that this week as well.
- Must set a date to go visit the Advisors!!
- Write every day!
- Finish adding new material to Third Chapter this week.
- Get out second article for review.
- Exercise--really want to start an exercise routine this week!!
- Eat right. (and maybe take some vitamins)
- Sleep regularly.
Diggin In--3 Hard Pages
Not feeling ultra-hot tonight so today's pages were hard but they are done. Looking back over the progress of the past few days, I'm pleasantly pleased, but I have some more biography work to do. I may try to write a little more in the morning or tomorrow night before I leave town. I'm feelin good about this work--lookin forward to finishing up next week!
How to Write: Teaching Philosophy Statement
Since I complained about cover letters yesterday, I thought I'd be more positive about another piece of the application process--the teaching philosophy statement. Sadly, a lot of ads I see don't explicitly ask for one--I appreciate the universities that say they definitely want a statement of your philosophy for the classroom as opposed to the more generic "evidence of teaching effectiveness." The assistant professor positions I'm interested in are primarily because of the classroom opportunities, so I feel more comfortable knowing that the search committee is actually interested in what I'm bringing to the classroom (you know, those little rooms that keep universities from being a completely corporate building with a football stadium). Disgressing again. So far, I'm happy with the draft of my statement that I came up with. It still needs work, but it is organized creatively and captures the best parts of my teaching personality. I have a few samples that I received from my university's teaching excellence center that were EXTREMELY helpful. There are lots of nice links on the web too:
- Good advice from the Chronicle
- A more philosophical approach: Iowa State CELT
- Practical tips for brainstorming from University of Hawaii (Great website on portfolio preparation)
- Helpful ideas from Washington University
Feelin Good About Just Writing
Today was one of those moments when I realized I missed writing. I wrote in my journal twice today--I rarely journal every day and I have been for the past few days. But even more rare was that I wrote in my journal twice in one day. AND I'm blogging--what in the world. I must have really been missing writing--wow. This job stuff is important and is very writing intensive, but it is clearly not the type of writing that my brain wants to do right now.
***Digression***I don't LIKE the genre of the cover letter or the circumstances that necessitate one. Not saying that I don't believe I am writing good letters--I've gotten some good feedback on my drafts so far, but I like nothing at all about the act of writing them. I don't like trying to compact in a little space all of my big personality, my own rhetorical style, and oh yeah, all the reasons why I'm perfect for a job where I don't even know exactly what they are looking for. ***Further Digression***There must be a way we can simplify this whole academic job ad search thing by the way. I understand that academics chose to operate in their own language--rhetoric by definition keeps people in and keep people out. (Good Chronicle piece on rhetoric in department meetings that caught my attention today). But is it really THAT difficult to say what you are really looking for in a job ad--some of these things are too annoyingly vague--and what's annoying is knowing that the people on the search committee know one of two things 1) exactly the kind of scholar they want 2) exactly the kind of candidate they DON'T want to waste their time on reading an application from. So cover letter writing therefore becomes unnecessarily frustrating for someone like me who actually cares about words.
Nonetheless, my love for writing was renewed today--just in time. Today, I was working on my biography of the subject of my Third Chapter. I thought writing about another living subject, especially one still active in politics might be a little frustrating, but the past two days of writing have been good. I've easily met my three page goal and the writing is solid. The beautiful thing about writing biographies is that you are telling a story. I took a qualitative research class that talked about biography as a form of research and the class took some of the fun out of the form for me. I mean it is important to think about biography as research because biographers, like historians, are not simply relaying facts. When we engage in this type of writing, even if it seems apolitical or neutral, we are arguing that an individual should be viewed in a certain light and understood in light of a certain set of contextual circumstances. In biography/history we are constantly making choices about what information to put in and leave out--thereby constructing one story, not THE story. Enough academic-speak. I'm enjoying writing this piece. Her life is interesting and she has excellent press coverage so I don't have to pull for information. I've been having fun finding colorful quotes from her and I'm learning so much about how she got to where she is today. I think I enjoy academic writing most when I'm learning in the process as well.
But today, it's not just the dissertation writing, I'm just feeling good about writing in general. And that's a wonderful change and a wonderful way to get back into the groove of the dissertation.
***Digression***I don't LIKE the genre of the cover letter or the circumstances that necessitate one. Not saying that I don't believe I am writing good letters--I've gotten some good feedback on my drafts so far, but I like nothing at all about the act of writing them. I don't like trying to compact in a little space all of my big personality, my own rhetorical style, and oh yeah, all the reasons why I'm perfect for a job where I don't even know exactly what they are looking for. ***Further Digression***There must be a way we can simplify this whole academic job ad search thing by the way. I understand that academics chose to operate in their own language--rhetoric by definition keeps people in and keep people out. (Good Chronicle piece on rhetoric in department meetings that caught my attention today). But is it really THAT difficult to say what you are really looking for in a job ad--some of these things are too annoyingly vague--and what's annoying is knowing that the people on the search committee know one of two things 1) exactly the kind of scholar they want 2) exactly the kind of candidate they DON'T want to waste their time on reading an application from. So cover letter writing therefore becomes unnecessarily frustrating for someone like me who actually cares about words.
Nonetheless, my love for writing was renewed today--just in time. Today, I was working on my biography of the subject of my Third Chapter. I thought writing about another living subject, especially one still active in politics might be a little frustrating, but the past two days of writing have been good. I've easily met my three page goal and the writing is solid. The beautiful thing about writing biographies is that you are telling a story. I took a qualitative research class that talked about biography as a form of research and the class took some of the fun out of the form for me. I mean it is important to think about biography as research because biographers, like historians, are not simply relaying facts. When we engage in this type of writing, even if it seems apolitical or neutral, we are arguing that an individual should be viewed in a certain light and understood in light of a certain set of contextual circumstances. In biography/history we are constantly making choices about what information to put in and leave out--thereby constructing one story, not THE story. Enough academic-speak. I'm enjoying writing this piece. Her life is interesting and she has excellent press coverage so I don't have to pull for information. I've been having fun finding colorful quotes from her and I'm learning so much about how she got to where she is today. I think I enjoy academic writing most when I'm learning in the process as well.
But today, it's not just the dissertation writing, I'm just feeling good about writing in general. And that's a wonderful change and a wonderful way to get back into the groove of the dissertation.
Three Page Goal
I really don't believe I need a lot of new pages for this draft. I still need to do some more reorganizing and tweaking of the language/arguments. But so far I like what I'm working with. Third Chapter is still on pace to be out the door this month!!! My goal for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday is simple--write three new pages a day. The rest of my time this week will be spent finishing up some job search details and getting ready for my first Southeast sorority conference this weekend!!
Slow Progress
Gettin back in the groove of dissertation writing is going slow. But I'm not going to beat myself up too much--it's the first official day back on the job. Tryin to refamiliarize myself with Third Chapter. But a trip to the library is definitely in order so I can beef up this biographical information. I'm thinking I will spend this week rewriting the biography section and next week beefing up the analysis. I put in 10-14 good days of work, that should really be all this draft needs and Third Chapter will be off to the advisors. So today and tomorrow will be about getting a plan together and the ever exciting work of switching styles from MLA to Chicago.
In the meantime, I'm excited about how my second syllabus is turning out. I just need to come up with good assignments for the course and I'm all set.
In the meantime, I'm excited about how my second syllabus is turning out. I just need to come up with good assignments for the course and I'm all set.
Teaching Portfolio--Weekend Plans
Slowly but surely, the pieces of this teaching portfolio puzzle are coming together. One sample syllabus is done (introductory course). And tonight I finished the summary of courses I can teach in my various areas of expertise. I need to polish up my syllabus for the advanced/specialized course (about 75% done), and recreate the third one for undergraduate majors. I want to make it more of a survey course--I'm not sure why I'm getting so involved with this process of making syllabi, but I want to be happy with what I'm putting together. So I originally had the third syllabus organized around a couple of texts that I would like to teach, but I'm changing it to important themes in my major research area. That way I can survey important literatures and leave room for primary texts and media clippings as well (it makes sense in my head).
Friday's Goal is to finish fiddlin' with this portfolio stuff and put it away for a few days. Miss Daisy has a half-day tomorrow so I don't have to pick her up--that will give me some more time to write in the afternoon.
Saturday's Goal is getting back on Third Chapter. I am really hoping I can pull together this draft of Third Chapter in a couple weeks. The working paper that I have so far is very strong and just needs to be expanded, mostly in terms of biographical information and scholarly literature. I think the analysis of the rhetorical text is already pretty solid. And I have some good feedback from my Outside Member that will really get me going. Now if I can just figure out how to properly cite government records (since her pink pen indicates that I do not know how), I'll be well on my way!
Sunday's Goal--Enjoying family and sorority time. I love Sundays because we always do the big Southern extended family Sunday dinner thing. But I'm especially excited about this Sunday. I'm going to my first sorority meeting down here. It's going to be good, but bittersweet. This will be my first meeting in this region and things in our sorority tend to vary from region to region. But again, I'm looking forward to it--I'm missing the activity of sorority life very much right now.
Friday's Goal is to finish fiddlin' with this portfolio stuff and put it away for a few days. Miss Daisy has a half-day tomorrow so I don't have to pick her up--that will give me some more time to write in the afternoon.
Saturday's Goal is getting back on Third Chapter. I am really hoping I can pull together this draft of Third Chapter in a couple weeks. The working paper that I have so far is very strong and just needs to be expanded, mostly in terms of biographical information and scholarly literature. I think the analysis of the rhetorical text is already pretty solid. And I have some good feedback from my Outside Member that will really get me going. Now if I can just figure out how to properly cite government records (since her pink pen indicates that I do not know how), I'll be well on my way!
Sunday's Goal--Enjoying family and sorority time. I love Sundays because we always do the big Southern extended family Sunday dinner thing. But I'm especially excited about this Sunday. I'm going to my first sorority meeting down here. It's going to be good, but bittersweet. This will be my first meeting in this region and things in our sorority tend to vary from region to region. But again, I'm looking forward to it--I'm missing the activity of sorority life very much right now.
Teaching Portfolio: Sample Syllabi??
Ok, so how many sample syllabi should I include in my teaching portfolio? I've only taught two courses, both general eds, both I've taught a few million times. But I'm not applying for jobs to teach those courses. All the positions I'm applying for are more directly related to my own research so I want to include some "dream" syllabi that I've created and hope to use in the future. The question is, how many??? I'm thinking three:
- One course based on my research (highly specialized, upperdivision)
- One course that is a more general/theoretical look at the field and the literature in the field (good course for a major in the field who has at least had one or two intro courses)
- One general introduction course on rhetoric
A Divo...
...is a male diva.
The rhetorician in me loves a new word--even a silly one.
Thanks Frankie.
The rhetorician in me loves a new word--even a silly one.
Thanks Frankie.
Queen of To-Do Lists
It was inevitable that I would have a list on my blog because I make lists all the time. I've calmed down a bit on my Post-It habit although every now and then I find myself feenin' for a fluorescent pink sticky note. But seriously, if I don't write it down, chances are, it won't get done. (I know, I know some Greek guy predicted long ago that writing would be the end of memory--I'm not in the mood to flex my ancient rhetorics muscles tonight). A trip to Walmart without a list generally means coming home without something I needed and with a bunch of stuff I definitely didn't really need. Today was no exception. I went to Walmart without a list--forgot some mailing labels I needed. But I made a few lists for the job search. I spent a lot of time today organizing materials for the search, and worked on all of my cover letters for the assistant professor positions (6 total). [I think I'm going to put off starting in on the postdoc letters next month.] I typed up checklists for each of my application files--that made me feel ultra-organized and all warm and fuzzy inside.
My teaching evals are all together now and I realized that I'm missing my two most recent semesters. My department's very sweet adminstrative assistant is trying to track those down for me. I've decided I am going to work on creating a graph of my quantitative evaluation scores. On the two measures that my department takes most seriously--course quality and instructor quality--over the past four years, my scores have consistently climbed. So rather than having the search committees wade through 20+ measures by which we are rated (multiplied by the 10+ times I've taught the class), I'm thinking that it might be helpful if they can just quickly "see" how my performance as an instructor has improved the longer I've been in school. My very first semester teaching evaluation scores were weird--in one section the marks were quite abysmal while in the other, they were rather high. Since then, they've been consistently going up, so I'm trying to revive some old computer skills to make a graph to reflect that. I honestly can't remember the last time I made a graph. Probably not since my TI-85 crashed.
While I often rail at the fact that I was a graduate student in one of the heaviest graduate student teaching loads in the university, I am grateful to have had so much trial and error experience. I'm grateful to have never been a real TA--I've never worked under another professor and with the exception of some general department requirements for our gen. ed. course, I've had pretty much complete autonomy over all of my sections. So I'm grateful for my level of comfort in the classroom, whether there are 10 students, 30 students, or 150 students. I'm looking forward to working up these sample syllabi--I have a lot of ideas for possible courses--and although I know some things probably work better in my head than on paper, I'm actually getting a little excited about the idea of teaching again. A little.
And of course, the big thing still on the lots to-do list is the teaching philosophy statement. I'm tired of talking about it, I need to be about it. But. It continues to allude me. I'm trying to do some freewriting tonight to get it out of my system. We'll see how that goes....
My teaching evals are all together now and I realized that I'm missing my two most recent semesters. My department's very sweet adminstrative assistant is trying to track those down for me. I've decided I am going to work on creating a graph of my quantitative evaluation scores. On the two measures that my department takes most seriously--course quality and instructor quality--over the past four years, my scores have consistently climbed. So rather than having the search committees wade through 20+ measures by which we are rated (multiplied by the 10+ times I've taught the class), I'm thinking that it might be helpful if they can just quickly "see" how my performance as an instructor has improved the longer I've been in school. My very first semester teaching evaluation scores were weird--in one section the marks were quite abysmal while in the other, they were rather high. Since then, they've been consistently going up, so I'm trying to revive some old computer skills to make a graph to reflect that. I honestly can't remember the last time I made a graph. Probably not since my TI-85 crashed.
While I often rail at the fact that I was a graduate student in one of the heaviest graduate student teaching loads in the university, I am grateful to have had so much trial and error experience. I'm grateful to have never been a real TA--I've never worked under another professor and with the exception of some general department requirements for our gen. ed. course, I've had pretty much complete autonomy over all of my sections. So I'm grateful for my level of comfort in the classroom, whether there are 10 students, 30 students, or 150 students. I'm looking forward to working up these sample syllabi--I have a lot of ideas for possible courses--and although I know some things probably work better in my head than on paper, I'm actually getting a little excited about the idea of teaching again. A little.
And of course, the big thing still on the lots to-do list is the teaching philosophy statement. I'm tired of talking about it, I need to be about it. But. It continues to allude me. I'm trying to do some freewriting tonight to get it out of my system. We'll see how that goes....
Getting Organized
There is no fun way to solicit letters of recommendation--and I'm realizing that even for the few positions I have decided to apply for, I need a lot of them. I got through organizing and sending out information to four of my referees. I have four more to go--I'll finish that in the AM.
Still a little more to go on the teaching philosophy statement before I can send it out for feedback. I need to get moving on my sample syllabi as well. Fortunately, I have one draft from my comps, and a few drafts from days when I was procrastinating during seminar papers. I finally started to create some post-vacation momentum but it is going to be a busy week....
Still a little more to go on the teaching philosophy statement before I can send it out for feedback. I need to get moving on my sample syllabi as well. Fortunately, I have one draft from my comps, and a few drafts from days when I was procrastinating during seminar papers. I finally started to create some post-vacation momentum but it is going to be a busy week....
Becoming a Professor...
Today, I'm devoting energy to getting my package together for my job applications. Academic coach has begun a conversation about the transition from being a graduate student to becoming a professor that is very timely for me. She has generously quoted on her site several of the obstacles for a new faculty member of color, many of which I have been thinking about. Here's my current response to her points, and a few additional questions (italicized text indicate points raised by Academic Coach):
*It is difficult to find mentors. There are few minority faculty at a senior level available to provide guidance and support.
This has been my experience in ALL of my educational experiences. Since 1st grade, I've only had four teachers/professors that looked like me--1st grade, 6th grade math, senior year of college (literature), and graduate school. And unfortunately, statistically speaking, that is probably higher than the experiences of most women of color. I specifically chose a graduate program where I would be able to work with other women of color, and I imagine that as a new faculty member I will find students doing the same thing. I think what I have learned from watching senior faculty members of color is that they tend to do a better job than most academics of forging networks outside of their department because they have needs that are not just based in academics or research. I've seen a number of mentoring relationships between senior and new faculty members of color across disciplines, and that is encouraging. As I am preparing for this transition, I am looking at assistant professor/post-doc positions at institutions with African American faculty (and preferably more than a handful). Having been the "only one" for most of my life, I know that for me it is important to be in an environment where I can learn from and socialize with men and women of similar backgrounds and experiences. Quality of life is highly important for me in this job search--location and diversity are two of my top five "must have" issues.
* Minorities, especially women of color, are asked to be on more committees and panels than white, male colleagues. It is almost automatically assumed that they will serve when issues of race and ethnicity are related to the committee topic. These additional service requirements cut into time for research.
This concerns me and I'm not sure how one can address this one. Life in academe has already demonstrated for me how this works, both through observation and experience. Is this an issue that can be addressed during the job negotiation process? Is it wrong to just say no? How can one tactfully ask why they are being chosen continually for this type of service? Are there ways to reduce teaching or research obligations if you are continually asked to "serve?"
*Students of color understandably seek out minority faculty members as mentors and role models. Thus professors end up burdened by heavy advising responsibilities. The faculty of color I work with face a difficult internal conflict: they are committed to providing the mentoring they'’ve lacked, yet know that their own careers will be hurt if they spend too much time helping students.
I decided to be a professor partly because I almost went through four years of college without having one Black professor. It wasn't until my very last semester that I was blessed to have a Black woman professor--a national award winning English scholar. And what drove me nuts was that despite all of her honors, I had never really heard about her. She was a great inspiration and was one of the many reasons I decided to stay in academia. Growing up as a Black woman in the South, teaching has always been an honorable profession in my community. When I tell people, especially my elders, that I'm going to teach they say "oh that's so good baby--we need more teachers." Around my way, "teachers" generally refers to those in K-12. Growing up I never felt an urgency to be a professor; I always thought I'd have a career, and then one day come back home to be a "teacher." But I realized that we also need more professors, and I feel very strongly committed to working with students of color to inspire them in whatever they do, but especially to stay in higher education. For the time being, I don't have any conflicts about that--working with students is the most rewarding thing about this work. But I know that the type of institution I end up in will greatly influence the struggle between advising--teaching--research priorities.
*White colleagues sometimes have the attitude that faculty of color "have it easier"”, are under-qualified, or less intellectually talented. People make it clear that they believe the minority faculty member has gotten the job because of their race or ethnicity.
Story of my life. I used to get upset and wonder why my high class rankings, GPAs, or SATs didn't matter--really bothered me as a kid. Especially when despite all I'd accomplished, I'd still have teachers trying to keep me out of upper-level classes (fortunately I had a diligent mother who was NOT having that). I've gotten over this whole thing and I know that higher ed is full of old school affirmative action playa hatas. If I don't get invited out to lunch because of some perception that I'm an unqualified affirmative action hire, the sun will still shine and the moon will still glow. In reality, being a person of color, especially one studying minority issues, means being "doubly-qualified." As a graduate student, I have to be on top of everything that my peers know as well as recovering my own history and creating new research in an area most of my discipline hasn't touched. Quite simply, that work is hard. For my comps, I was responsible for the standard literatures of the field as well as all I had learned about race and gender issues. And it was sad to go back through past answers to see how infrequently questions off of the center are asked. This is actually one of the things about the transition from grad student to faculty member that I'm looking forward to. I can immerse myself more in my own research area and not feel as obligated to know EVERYTHING.
*If the minority faculty member conducts research related to minority issues it is frequently seen as less important or legitimate than mainstream” scholarly interests.
Yeah. This one I only began to experience in my last few years of education. As a young student, I studied what everyone else studied. I always did something special for Black history month in school, but who didn't. I read a lot growing up and was immersed in Black literature at an early age, but that was at home. I actually remember the first time I really researched something "Black"--I did a paper on the Harlem Renaissance in a high school and everyone thought it was so "interesting." I didn't mind that word at the time, but the more and more I've come into my own area of research in Black women's history and rhetoric, I've come to clench my teeth at the word interesting. It's an easy academic way to provide positive feedback, but to keep from being critical or engaged in anything that is "other." It is a constant struggle to show why this work is important and a legitimate area of research. And unfortunately those of us starting out still have to be Phillis Wheatleys and get our work endorsed by "mainstream" journals and university presses. I do my work to show how my research adds to and contributes to the discipline, but I know I will continually be frustrated with this process as the margins always have to work towards the center, but those at the center never have an obligation to meet the folks at the margins if they don't want to.
*Being a "token member" of a department is isolating and the lack of social support provides ongoing emotional and social stress. All minorities in our society face daily reminders that they are seen in stereotyped, negative ways.
Tell me about it. Unfortunately, higher ed and research-oriented careers foster isolation. And unfortunately, too many scholars of color buy into this. When ones' life revolves around your department and your research, it is easy to get caught up in the stress of being a "token." Frankly, being the "token" sucks, and if that's all you are, that really sucks. The key is creating community wherever you are. For me, one of the first means of doing so is family and the second is friends and sorority. I continue to keep such strong ties with my sorority because it is an instant means of connecting myself and rejuvenating my spirit in a nation wide network of women of color. My life has never been just school--when it has come close to that, those have been my darkest days. The key is to keep yourself emerged in the things and the people that make you who you are--and I think that should go for anyone in academe regardless of race or gender.
*It is difficult to find mentors. There are few minority faculty at a senior level available to provide guidance and support.
This has been my experience in ALL of my educational experiences. Since 1st grade, I've only had four teachers/professors that looked like me--1st grade, 6th grade math, senior year of college (literature), and graduate school. And unfortunately, statistically speaking, that is probably higher than the experiences of most women of color. I specifically chose a graduate program where I would be able to work with other women of color, and I imagine that as a new faculty member I will find students doing the same thing. I think what I have learned from watching senior faculty members of color is that they tend to do a better job than most academics of forging networks outside of their department because they have needs that are not just based in academics or research. I've seen a number of mentoring relationships between senior and new faculty members of color across disciplines, and that is encouraging. As I am preparing for this transition, I am looking at assistant professor/post-doc positions at institutions with African American faculty (and preferably more than a handful). Having been the "only one" for most of my life, I know that for me it is important to be in an environment where I can learn from and socialize with men and women of similar backgrounds and experiences. Quality of life is highly important for me in this job search--location and diversity are two of my top five "must have" issues.
* Minorities, especially women of color, are asked to be on more committees and panels than white, male colleagues. It is almost automatically assumed that they will serve when issues of race and ethnicity are related to the committee topic. These additional service requirements cut into time for research.
This concerns me and I'm not sure how one can address this one. Life in academe has already demonstrated for me how this works, both through observation and experience. Is this an issue that can be addressed during the job negotiation process? Is it wrong to just say no? How can one tactfully ask why they are being chosen continually for this type of service? Are there ways to reduce teaching or research obligations if you are continually asked to "serve?"
*Students of color understandably seek out minority faculty members as mentors and role models. Thus professors end up burdened by heavy advising responsibilities. The faculty of color I work with face a difficult internal conflict: they are committed to providing the mentoring they'’ve lacked, yet know that their own careers will be hurt if they spend too much time helping students.
I decided to be a professor partly because I almost went through four years of college without having one Black professor. It wasn't until my very last semester that I was blessed to have a Black woman professor--a national award winning English scholar. And what drove me nuts was that despite all of her honors, I had never really heard about her. She was a great inspiration and was one of the many reasons I decided to stay in academia. Growing up as a Black woman in the South, teaching has always been an honorable profession in my community. When I tell people, especially my elders, that I'm going to teach they say "oh that's so good baby--we need more teachers." Around my way, "teachers" generally refers to those in K-12. Growing up I never felt an urgency to be a professor; I always thought I'd have a career, and then one day come back home to be a "teacher." But I realized that we also need more professors, and I feel very strongly committed to working with students of color to inspire them in whatever they do, but especially to stay in higher education. For the time being, I don't have any conflicts about that--working with students is the most rewarding thing about this work. But I know that the type of institution I end up in will greatly influence the struggle between advising--teaching--research priorities.
*White colleagues sometimes have the attitude that faculty of color "have it easier"”, are under-qualified, or less intellectually talented. People make it clear that they believe the minority faculty member has gotten the job because of their race or ethnicity.
Story of my life. I used to get upset and wonder why my high class rankings, GPAs, or SATs didn't matter--really bothered me as a kid. Especially when despite all I'd accomplished, I'd still have teachers trying to keep me out of upper-level classes (fortunately I had a diligent mother who was NOT having that). I've gotten over this whole thing and I know that higher ed is full of old school affirmative action playa hatas. If I don't get invited out to lunch because of some perception that I'm an unqualified affirmative action hire, the sun will still shine and the moon will still glow. In reality, being a person of color, especially one studying minority issues, means being "doubly-qualified." As a graduate student, I have to be on top of everything that my peers know as well as recovering my own history and creating new research in an area most of my discipline hasn't touched. Quite simply, that work is hard. For my comps, I was responsible for the standard literatures of the field as well as all I had learned about race and gender issues. And it was sad to go back through past answers to see how infrequently questions off of the center are asked. This is actually one of the things about the transition from grad student to faculty member that I'm looking forward to. I can immerse myself more in my own research area and not feel as obligated to know EVERYTHING.
*If the minority faculty member conducts research related to minority issues it is frequently seen as less important or legitimate than mainstream” scholarly interests.
Yeah. This one I only began to experience in my last few years of education. As a young student, I studied what everyone else studied. I always did something special for Black history month in school, but who didn't. I read a lot growing up and was immersed in Black literature at an early age, but that was at home. I actually remember the first time I really researched something "Black"--I did a paper on the Harlem Renaissance in a high school and everyone thought it was so "interesting." I didn't mind that word at the time, but the more and more I've come into my own area of research in Black women's history and rhetoric, I've come to clench my teeth at the word interesting. It's an easy academic way to provide positive feedback, but to keep from being critical or engaged in anything that is "other." It is a constant struggle to show why this work is important and a legitimate area of research. And unfortunately those of us starting out still have to be Phillis Wheatleys and get our work endorsed by "mainstream" journals and university presses. I do my work to show how my research adds to and contributes to the discipline, but I know I will continually be frustrated with this process as the margins always have to work towards the center, but those at the center never have an obligation to meet the folks at the margins if they don't want to.
*Being a "token member" of a department is isolating and the lack of social support provides ongoing emotional and social stress. All minorities in our society face daily reminders that they are seen in stereotyped, negative ways.
Tell me about it. Unfortunately, higher ed and research-oriented careers foster isolation. And unfortunately, too many scholars of color buy into this. When ones' life revolves around your department and your research, it is easy to get caught up in the stress of being a "token." Frankly, being the "token" sucks, and if that's all you are, that really sucks. The key is creating community wherever you are. For me, one of the first means of doing so is family and the second is friends and sorority. I continue to keep such strong ties with my sorority because it is an instant means of connecting myself and rejuvenating my spirit in a nation wide network of women of color. My life has never been just school--when it has come close to that, those have been my darkest days. The key is to keep yourself emerged in the things and the people that make you who you are--and I think that should go for anyone in academe regardless of race or gender.
Back to Life, Back to Reality
Back to the here and now. Past few days have just been fabulous. Just absolutely wonderful. This was a much needed weekend away from the computer. But now it is back to work.
I'll be chipping away at the to-do list this week. I really need to put some dents into this teaching portfolio and I also need to add copies of my transcripts to the list of things I need as well. It's going to be a busy week, but I feel wonderfully rested and rejuvenated!
I'll be chipping away at the to-do list this week. I really need to put some dents into this teaching portfolio and I also need to add copies of my transcripts to the list of things I need as well. It's going to be a busy week, but I feel wonderfully rested and rejuvenated!
On Vacation
My doing work this weekend is just not going to happen. I'm going on vacation till SUNDAY. Not going to even try to fool myself into thinking I'm going to work--I'm off....
A Lovely Day
Yesterday was a true BREAK from the grind of being a PhD candidate. Yesterday I felt like a "normal" person doing "regular" things. My schedule did not revolve in any way around getting back to the computer, and I am okay with that. Today I am going to continue to take it easy, but I'm making an effort to get a little work done too. When I get in from Driving Miss Daisy today, I'm going to work on my teaching philosophy statement which has been in need of repair for about a month now. The cover letter that I wrote for Tenure Track Position #1 has some very good lines about my relationship with students so I need to add those into the philosophy statement somewhere. I'm also going to get all of my evaluation materials together today and put them in the teaching portfolio file. Lastly, before the day is out, I want to write at least 3 new pages on the Third Chapter. In particular, I need to fill out the biography section. I also need to change the style from MLA to Chicago (yuck!)--maybe I'll just do that today....
Chapter Two--OUT!!
Finally, it is off of my desk. I enjoyed my Labor Day Sunday and Monday and took my time with proofreading, but I put a couple hours in tonight and sent it off to the advisors. It is G-O-N-E!!! Very glad to have that done.
I'm going on vacation this week!! Well not really but it'll feel like a vacation. I'm focusing some energy on job stuff this week and starting Third Chapter.
But, this will only be a three day work week. I have big plans for the weekend and I am going to enjoy it--the whole weekend this time!!
I'm going on vacation this week!! Well not really but it'll feel like a vacation. I'm focusing some energy on job stuff this week and starting Third Chapter.
But, this will only be a three day work week. I have big plans for the weekend and I am going to enjoy it--the whole weekend this time!!
Exhale
Ahhhhhhhhh. Man, this one feels GOOD. After days, weeks, a whole month of excruciating work with this chapter, I finally have it DONE. As it turns out, there was still more that needed to be added to the never ending Chapter Two for me to feel comfortable with it. But it is now ready to go out. Damage when it was all said and done--45 pages. Gracious.
Tomorrow I'll proof the new pieces I added to it--just a quick reading of typos and I need to double-check my footnotes. And then I will SEND IT OFF to my advisors. Hopefully I can get it out before the food is off the grill (yeah its Labor Day cookout time!) It is going to feel incredible to get this thing off my desk. I already feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted even though I technically have one more step to finish this draft.
Special thanks to Dr. J for encouraging me through this one. I needed it and I got your back as you finish your paper.
Tomorrow I'll proof the new pieces I added to it--just a quick reading of typos and I need to double-check my footnotes. And then I will SEND IT OFF to my advisors. Hopefully I can get it out before the food is off the grill (yeah its Labor Day cookout time!) It is going to feel incredible to get this thing off my desk. I already feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted even though I technically have one more step to finish this draft.
Special thanks to Dr. J for encouraging me through this one. I needed it and I got your back as you finish your paper.
Direct Hurricane Aid Opportunity
From one of my sorority sisters in Alabama--bless you soror!
Dear Sorors--
My church has been chosen by the American Red Cross to act as a shelter for the hurricane victims and I just wanted to make the suggestion that we get all the donated goods to the church so that we can have the reassurance that the victims are getting immediate relief and we know where our donations are going. If you want to make, send, or deliver donations to the church, the address is:
Revelations Church Ministries (Hurricane Katrina Relief)
1925 2nd Ave. South
Irondale, AL 35210
Anyone who wants to help can feel free to donate. I'm trying to track down a phone number for the church as well...
Dear Sorors--
My church has been chosen by the American Red Cross to act as a shelter for the hurricane victims and I just wanted to make the suggestion that we get all the donated goods to the church so that we can have the reassurance that the victims are getting immediate relief and we know where our donations are going. If you want to make, send, or deliver donations to the church, the address is:
Revelations Church Ministries (Hurricane Katrina Relief)
1925 2nd Ave. South
Irondale, AL 35210
Anyone who wants to help can feel free to donate. I'm trying to track down a phone number for the church as well...
Don't Wanna Talk About Katrina
I can't watch the news anymore and I really get upset when folks start talking about all that is and isn't being done. Not because I'm mad at them for talking about it, I'm just mad there has to be a conversation at all. Why is it that we can help brown people all over the world, but not the ones who are involuntary minorites in this country (let me not get on that box). To the point--I've become almost allegeric to "Katrina Aftermath" and I haven't been sure why. I think Stewgad has best expressed many of my feelings so I'm linking to her post...Pretty Hard, Dammit: Yet another Hell, Same Handbasket
I missed the radio address from the mayor in New Orleans the other morning--I heard it was dangerously mad as well. Any good links out there to the transcript??
I applaud all organizations and individuals who are stepping up in the face of this crisis. I'm glad that many have realized that surely there is more we can all do besides "send cash." I spoke to one former colleague on-line and asked how I could help--he said, just talk to me, give me some connection to the world outside of this. So like everyone else, every day I am looking for new ways to help and I am relieved to see so much effort in my area already.
I'm praying--I'm praying hard on this one.
I missed the radio address from the mayor in New Orleans the other morning--I heard it was dangerously mad as well. Any good links out there to the transcript??
I applaud all organizations and individuals who are stepping up in the face of this crisis. I'm glad that many have realized that surely there is more we can all do besides "send cash." I spoke to one former colleague on-line and asked how I could help--he said, just talk to me, give me some connection to the world outside of this. So like everyone else, every day I am looking for new ways to help and I am relieved to see so much effort in my area already.
I'm praying--I'm praying hard on this one.
So This is "That" Chapter
My struggle with this Chapter Two business is fit for a Jack London novel--some of that epic woman vs. woman stuff. These revisions are much more trying than they were for Chapter One. I keep finding holes and ideas I need to fill in and expand. Part of this process is rewarding though, I've had quite a few "oh, I wrote that" and "ah ha" moments. I've been impressed with some of my writing in this chapter, and thoroughly embarrassed as well. But at least so far, the obviously embarrassing parts have been fixed before my advisors could see them. Still much more work to be done tomorrow--mostly cosmetic work. But I'm finding that as I fix things up, the length continues to grow. So I've decided that this is "that" chapter--that chapter I've heard several peers talk about that just keeps going and going until eventually you have to just say ENOUGH!
I used to be impressed by my MA thesis. My first work of any significant length, about 120 pages or so. I'm no longer impressed. Just the Chapter One and Two of this thing is going to be more than HALF of that. I knew this would be a big project but GRACIOUS. My content chapters can't be this big--otherwise this thing will just be ridiculous. I want a manageable book and I don't know too many folks publishin 400+ page books these days. So I'm telling myself that this chapter will be the longest because it is a survey of almost 400 years of history. The content chapters--focused on a particular rhetorical text--should NOT be this long.
Here's to the "that" chapter.
I used to be impressed by my MA thesis. My first work of any significant length, about 120 pages or so. I'm no longer impressed. Just the Chapter One and Two of this thing is going to be more than HALF of that. I knew this would be a big project but GRACIOUS. My content chapters can't be this big--otherwise this thing will just be ridiculous. I want a manageable book and I don't know too many folks publishin 400+ page books these days. So I'm telling myself that this chapter will be the longest because it is a survey of almost 400 years of history. The content chapters--focused on a particular rhetorical text--should NOT be this long.
Here's to the "that" chapter.
No Weekend for Me
I am determined to get some things off of this to do list. Fortunately, since its the weekend, there will be no new job postings, so that will be one less means of procrastinating. I talked to a very helpful member of a department that is searching in the Big Ten today. Her friendliness further motivated me to apply so the count is up again. Even though reading the postings is a huge procrastination tool, I did find some things today.
Count
T-T: 6
Postdocs: 7
I think I've figured out who I want to ask to write for each of these positions so far. Gotta get my requests in ASAP so I can get that off the to-do list as well. In the meantime, back to revising Chapter Two AND starting Third Chapter.
This is where life may become confusing. My dissertation is a monster of a project. Two introductory chapters, five content chapters, and a conclusion. Three of my content chapters are drafted--I just need to do more research and expand on them. So I am going to begin work on those first before I start creating chapters from scratch. That way, by the end of this year, I can have three solid analyses and if I need to jettison something to graduate on time, I'll just chuck the stuff that I haven't even started yet. Make sense? These content chapters (I hope) will be on the smallish side--I'm focusing on particular rhetorical moments rather than entire political careers. So each content chapter is the analysis of just one or two texts by a particular Black women politician. Feel me? The three chapters I have drafted happen to be Chapters Four, Five, and Six. But I'm still waiting to determine the final order these chapters are going to be in. I proposed them in a weird topical order, but put them in chronological order in the introduction (Chapter One). So in that order, this Third Chapter would be Chapter Six.
So for the purposes of blogging and self-organization, I'm logging from now on as 3rd, 4th, etc. That way, when I get to the last chapter, I can call it just that LAST Chapter. I think that will feel much better (especially since the last content chapter will probably be Chapter Three and that would be down right depressing to think that I'm only on the third chapter next semester!) All that being on the floor, I'm going to revise for a few more hours and then switch to the Third Chapter. I need to refamiliarize myself with the material and start working on the revision ideas I received on it from one of my professors. Fun Fun Fun.
Count
T-T: 6
Postdocs: 7
I think I've figured out who I want to ask to write for each of these positions so far. Gotta get my requests in ASAP so I can get that off the to-do list as well. In the meantime, back to revising Chapter Two AND starting Third Chapter.
This is where life may become confusing. My dissertation is a monster of a project. Two introductory chapters, five content chapters, and a conclusion. Three of my content chapters are drafted--I just need to do more research and expand on them. So I am going to begin work on those first before I start creating chapters from scratch. That way, by the end of this year, I can have three solid analyses and if I need to jettison something to graduate on time, I'll just chuck the stuff that I haven't even started yet. Make sense? These content chapters (I hope) will be on the smallish side--I'm focusing on particular rhetorical moments rather than entire political careers. So each content chapter is the analysis of just one or two texts by a particular Black women politician. Feel me? The three chapters I have drafted happen to be Chapters Four, Five, and Six. But I'm still waiting to determine the final order these chapters are going to be in. I proposed them in a weird topical order, but put them in chronological order in the introduction (Chapter One). So in that order, this Third Chapter would be Chapter Six.
So for the purposes of blogging and self-organization, I'm logging from now on as 3rd, 4th, etc. That way, when I get to the last chapter, I can call it just that LAST Chapter. I think that will feel much better (especially since the last content chapter will probably be Chapter Three and that would be down right depressing to think that I'm only on the third chapter next semester!) All that being on the floor, I'm going to revise for a few more hours and then switch to the Third Chapter. I need to refamiliarize myself with the material and start working on the revision ideas I received on it from one of my professors. Fun Fun Fun.
Obsession (not the fragrance)
Try as I might, I continue to obsess over the job market/post doc issue. A lot of jobs postings came out in my minor field today, so I spent more time than needed pouring over them because none of the postings really fit me. But, they did lead me to some institutions that are hiring interdisciplinary faculty members, and there were a couple postings that definitely fit me like a glove. So, my application count is growing slowly. Two applications in my major field, none in my minor, and two in interdisciplinary areas. (And I just found two more PostDocs)
Still Keeping score?
T-T positions: 4
PostDocs: 6
Still Keeping score?
T-T positions: 4
PostDocs: 6
So Close
So close I can taste it. So close, but no cigar. So close I can feel it. So close but yet so far away.
I am finishing up Chapter Two. But going back through it is taking longer than I anticipated. There is a lot of good stuff in my draft, a lot of superfluous stuff, and a lot of typos. So after I finish with this edit (hopefully today), I need to go back through it one more time tomorrow before I send it off. I'm changing my self-ascribed due date to Saturday. It's September and I'm sad that I'm still dealing with this chapter, but on Friday, I going to begin my chronicles of the Third Chapter regardless.
For now, back to revisions....
I am finishing up Chapter Two. But going back through it is taking longer than I anticipated. There is a lot of good stuff in my draft, a lot of superfluous stuff, and a lot of typos. So after I finish with this edit (hopefully today), I need to go back through it one more time tomorrow before I send it off. I'm changing my self-ascribed due date to Saturday. It's September and I'm sad that I'm still dealing with this chapter, but on Friday, I going to begin my chronicles of the Third Chapter regardless.
For now, back to revisions....
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