Knocking Down the Wall

Joan Bolker writes in Writing Your Dissertation in 15 Minutes a Day:

If you've ever run a marathon, or watched one at about mile twenty, you'll know this phenomenon: most of the way through the race many runners "hit the wall"; that is, suddenly they feel that they can go no farther, that they've exhausted not only their second wind but subsequent ones. It's a paradoxical feeling, because in both mile twenty of a marathon and the equivalent stage of writing a dissertation you've already done most of the work. There's another kind of hitting the wall that sometimes happens to thesis writers: you feel an impossible barrier between you and the finish line, the bottom falls out of your hopefulness and ambition, and your spirits border on despair and collapse.

Now for most of the dissertation process, Bolker encourages writers to keep a steady pace--to not overwork themselves and to allow for plenty of breaks. But:

...as you move into the final stages, you can afford to get wired, to overwork, to push yourself harder than ever before. You'll be amazed how much work it's possible to accomplish in a month or two, if it's the last month or two....Your work now is to keep up a steady pace, perhaps even accelerating pace, and to get yourself over the last hurdles--psychological, intellectual, or organizational.

Yesterday, I hit the wall.
I knew the wall was coming but man I didn't expect to walk smack into it. I mean usually you see a wall--you might stub your toe on a doorframe or a bedpost that you know is there, but I think most of us avoid walking into walls on a daily basis. Yesterday the wall just appeared out of nowhere and I definitely felt like the bottom fell out on my spirits.

Fortunately, that was yesterday and today is a new day. I know I will finish this monster and soon. And I'm excited to have a bright future ahead of me. A good long honest conversation with Dr. J, a lot of tears and a lot of sleep--now I feel reset and ready to take on the world again. Now, I gotta knock down this wall and quick. The beautiful public library left me a nice and long and LOUD message this morning to say that my interlibrary loan has come in. That alone makes everything feel a little more manageable. I'm going to put aside the moving thoughts until next weekend when I go to check out some homes in NewSchoolCity. Goodness knows what I'm going to do with those kids for a week--I'll figure that out later--I mean I do have until August. I have to get CoChairs on the phone today--that is a MUST--if I don't, it will continue to add to my craziness. I feel better; my head feels clearer (although a little achy) and I'm going to get back on my writing horse today. The goal is to get Chapters Three and Seven out ASAP.

Thanks for all the love and support from my kindred spirits near and far--means the world to me!! And if you're still reading this, you probably should be writing too--keep it movin', show is over--nothin else to see here. Let's all get back to work!!