Today, I'm devoting energy to getting my package together for my job applications. Academic coach has begun a conversation about the transition from being a graduate student to becoming a professor that is very timely for me. She has generously quoted on her site several of the obstacles for a new faculty member of color, many of which I have been thinking about. Here's my current response to her points, and a few additional questions (italicized text indicate points raised by Academic Coach):
*It is difficult to find mentors. There are few minority faculty at a senior level available to provide guidance and support.
This has been my experience in ALL of my educational experiences. Since 1st grade, I've only had four teachers/professors that looked like me--1st grade, 6th grade math, senior year of college (literature), and graduate school. And unfortunately, statistically speaking, that is probably higher than the experiences of most women of color. I specifically chose a graduate program where I would be able to work with other women of color, and I imagine that as a new faculty member I will find students doing the same thing. I think what I have learned from watching senior faculty members of color is that they tend to do a better job than most academics of forging networks outside of their department because they have needs that are not just based in academics or research. I've seen a number of mentoring relationships between senior and new faculty members of color across disciplines, and that is encouraging. As I am preparing for this transition, I am looking at assistant professor/post-doc positions at institutions with African American faculty (and preferably more than a handful). Having been the "only one" for most of my life, I know that for me it is important to be in an environment where I can learn from and socialize with men and women of similar backgrounds and experiences. Quality of life is highly important for me in this job search--location and diversity are two of my top five "must have" issues.
* Minorities, especially women of color, are asked to be on more committees and panels than white, male colleagues. It is almost automatically assumed that they will serve when issues of race and ethnicity are related to the committee topic. These additional service requirements cut into time for research.
This concerns me and I'm not sure how one can address this one. Life in academe has already demonstrated for me how this works, both through observation and experience. Is this an issue that can be addressed during the job negotiation process? Is it wrong to just say no? How can one tactfully ask why they are being chosen continually for this type of service? Are there ways to reduce teaching or research obligations if you are continually asked to "serve?"
*Students of color understandably seek out minority faculty members as mentors and role models. Thus professors end up burdened by heavy advising responsibilities. The faculty of color I work with face a difficult internal conflict: they are committed to providing the mentoring they'’ve lacked, yet know that their own careers will be hurt if they spend too much time helping students.
I decided to be a professor partly because I almost went through four years of college without having one Black professor. It wasn't until my very last semester that I was blessed to have a Black woman professor--a national award winning English scholar. And what drove me nuts was that despite all of her honors, I had never really heard about her. She was a great inspiration and was one of the many reasons I decided to stay in academia. Growing up as a Black woman in the South, teaching has always been an honorable profession in my community. When I tell people, especially my elders, that I'm going to teach they say "oh that's so good baby--we need more teachers." Around my way, "teachers" generally refers to those in K-12. Growing up I never felt an urgency to be a professor; I always thought I'd have a career, and then one day come back home to be a "teacher." But I realized that we also need more professors, and I feel very strongly committed to working with students of color to inspire them in whatever they do, but especially to stay in higher education. For the time being, I don't have any conflicts about that--working with students is the most rewarding thing about this work. But I know that the type of institution I end up in will greatly influence the struggle between advising--teaching--research priorities.
*White colleagues sometimes have the attitude that faculty of color "have it easier"”, are under-qualified, or less intellectually talented. People make it clear that they believe the minority faculty member has gotten the job because of their race or ethnicity.
Story of my life. I used to get upset and wonder why my high class rankings, GPAs, or SATs didn't matter--really bothered me as a kid. Especially when despite all I'd accomplished, I'd still have teachers trying to keep me out of upper-level classes (fortunately I had a diligent mother who was NOT having that). I've gotten over this whole thing and I know that higher ed is full of old school affirmative action playa hatas. If I don't get invited out to lunch because of some perception that I'm an unqualified affirmative action hire, the sun will still shine and the moon will still glow. In reality, being a person of color, especially one studying minority issues, means being "doubly-qualified." As a graduate student, I have to be on top of everything that my peers know as well as recovering my own history and creating new research in an area most of my discipline hasn't touched. Quite simply, that work is hard. For my comps, I was responsible for the standard literatures of the field as well as all I had learned about race and gender issues. And it was sad to go back through past answers to see how infrequently questions off of the center are asked. This is actually one of the things about the transition from grad student to faculty member that I'm looking forward to. I can immerse myself more in my own research area and not feel as obligated to know EVERYTHING.
*If the minority faculty member conducts research related to minority issues it is frequently seen as less important or legitimate than mainstream” scholarly interests.
Yeah. This one I only began to experience in my last few years of education. As a young student, I studied what everyone else studied. I always did something special for Black history month in school, but who didn't. I read a lot growing up and was immersed in Black literature at an early age, but that was at home. I actually remember the first time I really researched something "Black"--I did a paper on the Harlem Renaissance in a high school and everyone thought it was so "interesting." I didn't mind that word at the time, but the more and more I've come into my own area of research in Black women's history and rhetoric, I've come to clench my teeth at the word interesting. It's an easy academic way to provide positive feedback, but to keep from being critical or engaged in anything that is "other." It is a constant struggle to show why this work is important and a legitimate area of research. And unfortunately those of us starting out still have to be Phillis Wheatleys and get our work endorsed by "mainstream" journals and university presses. I do my work to show how my research adds to and contributes to the discipline, but I know I will continually be frustrated with this process as the margins always have to work towards the center, but those at the center never have an obligation to meet the folks at the margins if they don't want to.
*Being a "token member" of a department is isolating and the lack of social support provides ongoing emotional and social stress. All minorities in our society face daily reminders that they are seen in stereotyped, negative ways.
Tell me about it. Unfortunately, higher ed and research-oriented careers foster isolation. And unfortunately, too many scholars of color buy into this. When ones' life revolves around your department and your research, it is easy to get caught up in the stress of being a "token." Frankly, being the "token" sucks, and if that's all you are, that really sucks. The key is creating community wherever you are. For me, one of the first means of doing so is family and the second is friends and sorority. I continue to keep such strong ties with my sorority because it is an instant means of connecting myself and rejuvenating my spirit in a nation wide network of women of color. My life has never been just school--when it has come close to that, those have been my darkest days. The key is to keep yourself emerged in the things and the people that make you who you are--and I think that should go for anyone in academe regardless of race or gender.
Back to Life, Back to Reality
Back to the here and now. Past few days have just been fabulous. Just absolutely wonderful. This was a much needed weekend away from the computer. But now it is back to work.
I'll be chipping away at the to-do list this week. I really need to put some dents into this teaching portfolio and I also need to add copies of my transcripts to the list of things I need as well. It's going to be a busy week, but I feel wonderfully rested and rejuvenated!
I'll be chipping away at the to-do list this week. I really need to put some dents into this teaching portfolio and I also need to add copies of my transcripts to the list of things I need as well. It's going to be a busy week, but I feel wonderfully rested and rejuvenated!
On Vacation
My doing work this weekend is just not going to happen. I'm going on vacation till SUNDAY. Not going to even try to fool myself into thinking I'm going to work--I'm off....
A Lovely Day
Yesterday was a true BREAK from the grind of being a PhD candidate. Yesterday I felt like a "normal" person doing "regular" things. My schedule did not revolve in any way around getting back to the computer, and I am okay with that. Today I am going to continue to take it easy, but I'm making an effort to get a little work done too. When I get in from Driving Miss Daisy today, I'm going to work on my teaching philosophy statement which has been in need of repair for about a month now. The cover letter that I wrote for Tenure Track Position #1 has some very good lines about my relationship with students so I need to add those into the philosophy statement somewhere. I'm also going to get all of my evaluation materials together today and put them in the teaching portfolio file. Lastly, before the day is out, I want to write at least 3 new pages on the Third Chapter. In particular, I need to fill out the biography section. I also need to change the style from MLA to Chicago (yuck!)--maybe I'll just do that today....
Chapter Two--OUT!!
Finally, it is off of my desk. I enjoyed my Labor Day Sunday and Monday and took my time with proofreading, but I put a couple hours in tonight and sent it off to the advisors. It is G-O-N-E!!! Very glad to have that done.
I'm going on vacation this week!! Well not really but it'll feel like a vacation. I'm focusing some energy on job stuff this week and starting Third Chapter.
But, this will only be a three day work week. I have big plans for the weekend and I am going to enjoy it--the whole weekend this time!!
I'm going on vacation this week!! Well not really but it'll feel like a vacation. I'm focusing some energy on job stuff this week and starting Third Chapter.
But, this will only be a three day work week. I have big plans for the weekend and I am going to enjoy it--the whole weekend this time!!
Exhale
Ahhhhhhhhh. Man, this one feels GOOD. After days, weeks, a whole month of excruciating work with this chapter, I finally have it DONE. As it turns out, there was still more that needed to be added to the never ending Chapter Two for me to feel comfortable with it. But it is now ready to go out. Damage when it was all said and done--45 pages. Gracious.
Tomorrow I'll proof the new pieces I added to it--just a quick reading of typos and I need to double-check my footnotes. And then I will SEND IT OFF to my advisors. Hopefully I can get it out before the food is off the grill (yeah its Labor Day cookout time!) It is going to feel incredible to get this thing off my desk. I already feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted even though I technically have one more step to finish this draft.
Special thanks to Dr. J for encouraging me through this one. I needed it and I got your back as you finish your paper.
Tomorrow I'll proof the new pieces I added to it--just a quick reading of typos and I need to double-check my footnotes. And then I will SEND IT OFF to my advisors. Hopefully I can get it out before the food is off the grill (yeah its Labor Day cookout time!) It is going to feel incredible to get this thing off my desk. I already feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted even though I technically have one more step to finish this draft.
Special thanks to Dr. J for encouraging me through this one. I needed it and I got your back as you finish your paper.
Direct Hurricane Aid Opportunity
From one of my sorority sisters in Alabama--bless you soror!
Dear Sorors--
My church has been chosen by the American Red Cross to act as a shelter for the hurricane victims and I just wanted to make the suggestion that we get all the donated goods to the church so that we can have the reassurance that the victims are getting immediate relief and we know where our donations are going. If you want to make, send, or deliver donations to the church, the address is:
Revelations Church Ministries (Hurricane Katrina Relief)
1925 2nd Ave. South
Irondale, AL 35210
Anyone who wants to help can feel free to donate. I'm trying to track down a phone number for the church as well...
Dear Sorors--
My church has been chosen by the American Red Cross to act as a shelter for the hurricane victims and I just wanted to make the suggestion that we get all the donated goods to the church so that we can have the reassurance that the victims are getting immediate relief and we know where our donations are going. If you want to make, send, or deliver donations to the church, the address is:
Revelations Church Ministries (Hurricane Katrina Relief)
1925 2nd Ave. South
Irondale, AL 35210
Anyone who wants to help can feel free to donate. I'm trying to track down a phone number for the church as well...
Don't Wanna Talk About Katrina
I can't watch the news anymore and I really get upset when folks start talking about all that is and isn't being done. Not because I'm mad at them for talking about it, I'm just mad there has to be a conversation at all. Why is it that we can help brown people all over the world, but not the ones who are involuntary minorites in this country (let me not get on that box). To the point--I've become almost allegeric to "Katrina Aftermath" and I haven't been sure why. I think Stewgad has best expressed many of my feelings so I'm linking to her post...Pretty Hard, Dammit: Yet another Hell, Same Handbasket
I missed the radio address from the mayor in New Orleans the other morning--I heard it was dangerously mad as well. Any good links out there to the transcript??
I applaud all organizations and individuals who are stepping up in the face of this crisis. I'm glad that many have realized that surely there is more we can all do besides "send cash." I spoke to one former colleague on-line and asked how I could help--he said, just talk to me, give me some connection to the world outside of this. So like everyone else, every day I am looking for new ways to help and I am relieved to see so much effort in my area already.
I'm praying--I'm praying hard on this one.
I missed the radio address from the mayor in New Orleans the other morning--I heard it was dangerously mad as well. Any good links out there to the transcript??
I applaud all organizations and individuals who are stepping up in the face of this crisis. I'm glad that many have realized that surely there is more we can all do besides "send cash." I spoke to one former colleague on-line and asked how I could help--he said, just talk to me, give me some connection to the world outside of this. So like everyone else, every day I am looking for new ways to help and I am relieved to see so much effort in my area already.
I'm praying--I'm praying hard on this one.
So This is "That" Chapter
My struggle with this Chapter Two business is fit for a Jack London novel--some of that epic woman vs. woman stuff. These revisions are much more trying than they were for Chapter One. I keep finding holes and ideas I need to fill in and expand. Part of this process is rewarding though, I've had quite a few "oh, I wrote that" and "ah ha" moments. I've been impressed with some of my writing in this chapter, and thoroughly embarrassed as well. But at least so far, the obviously embarrassing parts have been fixed before my advisors could see them. Still much more work to be done tomorrow--mostly cosmetic work. But I'm finding that as I fix things up, the length continues to grow. So I've decided that this is "that" chapter--that chapter I've heard several peers talk about that just keeps going and going until eventually you have to just say ENOUGH!
I used to be impressed by my MA thesis. My first work of any significant length, about 120 pages or so. I'm no longer impressed. Just the Chapter One and Two of this thing is going to be more than HALF of that. I knew this would be a big project but GRACIOUS. My content chapters can't be this big--otherwise this thing will just be ridiculous. I want a manageable book and I don't know too many folks publishin 400+ page books these days. So I'm telling myself that this chapter will be the longest because it is a survey of almost 400 years of history. The content chapters--focused on a particular rhetorical text--should NOT be this long.
Here's to the "that" chapter.
I used to be impressed by my MA thesis. My first work of any significant length, about 120 pages or so. I'm no longer impressed. Just the Chapter One and Two of this thing is going to be more than HALF of that. I knew this would be a big project but GRACIOUS. My content chapters can't be this big--otherwise this thing will just be ridiculous. I want a manageable book and I don't know too many folks publishin 400+ page books these days. So I'm telling myself that this chapter will be the longest because it is a survey of almost 400 years of history. The content chapters--focused on a particular rhetorical text--should NOT be this long.
Here's to the "that" chapter.
No Weekend for Me
I am determined to get some things off of this to do list. Fortunately, since its the weekend, there will be no new job postings, so that will be one less means of procrastinating. I talked to a very helpful member of a department that is searching in the Big Ten today. Her friendliness further motivated me to apply so the count is up again. Even though reading the postings is a huge procrastination tool, I did find some things today.
Count
T-T: 6
Postdocs: 7
I think I've figured out who I want to ask to write for each of these positions so far. Gotta get my requests in ASAP so I can get that off the to-do list as well. In the meantime, back to revising Chapter Two AND starting Third Chapter.
This is where life may become confusing. My dissertation is a monster of a project. Two introductory chapters, five content chapters, and a conclusion. Three of my content chapters are drafted--I just need to do more research and expand on them. So I am going to begin work on those first before I start creating chapters from scratch. That way, by the end of this year, I can have three solid analyses and if I need to jettison something to graduate on time, I'll just chuck the stuff that I haven't even started yet. Make sense? These content chapters (I hope) will be on the smallish side--I'm focusing on particular rhetorical moments rather than entire political careers. So each content chapter is the analysis of just one or two texts by a particular Black women politician. Feel me? The three chapters I have drafted happen to be Chapters Four, Five, and Six. But I'm still waiting to determine the final order these chapters are going to be in. I proposed them in a weird topical order, but put them in chronological order in the introduction (Chapter One). So in that order, this Third Chapter would be Chapter Six.
So for the purposes of blogging and self-organization, I'm logging from now on as 3rd, 4th, etc. That way, when I get to the last chapter, I can call it just that LAST Chapter. I think that will feel much better (especially since the last content chapter will probably be Chapter Three and that would be down right depressing to think that I'm only on the third chapter next semester!) All that being on the floor, I'm going to revise for a few more hours and then switch to the Third Chapter. I need to refamiliarize myself with the material and start working on the revision ideas I received on it from one of my professors. Fun Fun Fun.
Count
T-T: 6
Postdocs: 7
I think I've figured out who I want to ask to write for each of these positions so far. Gotta get my requests in ASAP so I can get that off the to-do list as well. In the meantime, back to revising Chapter Two AND starting Third Chapter.
This is where life may become confusing. My dissertation is a monster of a project. Two introductory chapters, five content chapters, and a conclusion. Three of my content chapters are drafted--I just need to do more research and expand on them. So I am going to begin work on those first before I start creating chapters from scratch. That way, by the end of this year, I can have three solid analyses and if I need to jettison something to graduate on time, I'll just chuck the stuff that I haven't even started yet. Make sense? These content chapters (I hope) will be on the smallish side--I'm focusing on particular rhetorical moments rather than entire political careers. So each content chapter is the analysis of just one or two texts by a particular Black women politician. Feel me? The three chapters I have drafted happen to be Chapters Four, Five, and Six. But I'm still waiting to determine the final order these chapters are going to be in. I proposed them in a weird topical order, but put them in chronological order in the introduction (Chapter One). So in that order, this Third Chapter would be Chapter Six.
So for the purposes of blogging and self-organization, I'm logging from now on as 3rd, 4th, etc. That way, when I get to the last chapter, I can call it just that LAST Chapter. I think that will feel much better (especially since the last content chapter will probably be Chapter Three and that would be down right depressing to think that I'm only on the third chapter next semester!) All that being on the floor, I'm going to revise for a few more hours and then switch to the Third Chapter. I need to refamiliarize myself with the material and start working on the revision ideas I received on it from one of my professors. Fun Fun Fun.
Obsession (not the fragrance)
Try as I might, I continue to obsess over the job market/post doc issue. A lot of jobs postings came out in my minor field today, so I spent more time than needed pouring over them because none of the postings really fit me. But, they did lead me to some institutions that are hiring interdisciplinary faculty members, and there were a couple postings that definitely fit me like a glove. So, my application count is growing slowly. Two applications in my major field, none in my minor, and two in interdisciplinary areas. (And I just found two more PostDocs)
Still Keeping score?
T-T positions: 4
PostDocs: 6
Still Keeping score?
T-T positions: 4
PostDocs: 6
So Close
So close I can taste it. So close, but no cigar. So close I can feel it. So close but yet so far away.
I am finishing up Chapter Two. But going back through it is taking longer than I anticipated. There is a lot of good stuff in my draft, a lot of superfluous stuff, and a lot of typos. So after I finish with this edit (hopefully today), I need to go back through it one more time tomorrow before I send it off. I'm changing my self-ascribed due date to Saturday. It's September and I'm sad that I'm still dealing with this chapter, but on Friday, I going to begin my chronicles of the Third Chapter regardless.
For now, back to revisions....
I am finishing up Chapter Two. But going back through it is taking longer than I anticipated. There is a lot of good stuff in my draft, a lot of superfluous stuff, and a lot of typos. So after I finish with this edit (hopefully today), I need to go back through it one more time tomorrow before I send it off. I'm changing my self-ascribed due date to Saturday. It's September and I'm sad that I'm still dealing with this chapter, but on Friday, I going to begin my chronicles of the Third Chapter regardless.
For now, back to revisions....
Almost There
As the list of things to do grows, it feels good to be getting closer to completion on this Chapter Two draft. Despite a barrage of unexpected company in my home this evening, and being completely distracted by my own daydreams, I managed to finish that last unconquerable section of Chapter Two. It took some sweat and some willingness to let go of absolute perfection, but its D-O-N-E. Well, not entirely. But Chapter Two does finally sit in a complete form. It needs a lot of revision so it may not be D-O-N-E by the 1st, but it will definitely be off my desk by the end of the week. Hallelujah!
Back on Track!
It feels soooo good to be back on track. Maybe I should be a Sunday through Thursday writer....hmmm that's a good thought--I need to marinate on that. Tonight's writing time was very productive--about 2000 first draft quality words (as opposed to the zero draft quality I've been producing). So although this Chapter Two continues to grow to ridiculous proportions, it feels good to be nearing the end. I have 5 more sub-issues I need to touch on quickly--I'm thinking it will take between 5-10 paragraphs to finish the draft and that is very exciting.
One of my favorite family members is in town and we have plans for Wednesday so that is a good incentive to get this draft done tomorrow morning, start revisions tomorrow night, and continue into Wednesday morning. Then Wednesday night can be a little bit of a celebration. And maybe by Thursday, I can have this thing out of my hair!!
Chapter Three here I come!!
One of my favorite family members is in town and we have plans for Wednesday so that is a good incentive to get this draft done tomorrow morning, start revisions tomorrow night, and continue into Wednesday morning. Then Wednesday night can be a little bit of a celebration. And maybe by Thursday, I can have this thing out of my hair!!
Chapter Three here I come!!
Hurricane Katrina
A good reminder from one of my sorors in the Southeast Region:
"As you do your groceries in the next few days, remember them [those living on the Gulf Coast] and buy some extra canned goods, water bottles, and if you have any spare blankets, please send all those items to the Red Cross. This will be one of the biggest natural disasters to occur in a while and instead of waiting for help relief effort to begin, let's start flooding the Red Cross with donations, God knows they will need it over the next few days."
"As you do your groceries in the next few days, remember them [those living on the Gulf Coast] and buy some extra canned goods, water bottles, and if you have any spare blankets, please send all those items to the Red Cross. This will be one of the biggest natural disasters to occur in a while and instead of waiting for help relief effort to begin, let's start flooding the Red Cross with donations, God knows they will need it over the next few days."
School Starting Well Wishes
Just wanted to send my thoughts and prayers out to all my friends, colleagues, and fellow academic bloggers who are starting with classes and teaching this week!! May your syllabi be clear, your schedule feasible, your workload manageable, and your books in the bookstore!
Waiting to Exhale
Still on Chapter Two--SIGH!
This week it will be done--really. It will be done before September. It will. It must. It will be done.
But I can only be so hard on myself. I had a fabulous weekend filled with lots of surprises and thrills, lots of laughter, and even a few exciting spills. So while I could have been a little more productive than I was, I wouldn't trade this weekend for anything. And besides, I did get a little writing done, and I drafted my cover letter for my first job application.
I'll just keep chugging on this writing tonight and tomorrow. By Tuesday, I will be revising. This is a deadline I must keep. Once Chapter Two is off my desk, I can EXHALE.
This week it will be done--really. It will be done before September. It will. It must. It will be done.
But I can only be so hard on myself. I had a fabulous weekend filled with lots of surprises and thrills, lots of laughter, and even a few exciting spills. So while I could have been a little more productive than I was, I wouldn't trade this weekend for anything. And besides, I did get a little writing done, and I drafted my cover letter for my first job application.
I'll just keep chugging on this writing tonight and tomorrow. By Tuesday, I will be revising. This is a deadline I must keep. Once Chapter Two is off my desk, I can EXHALE.
The Trade-Off
My plans for today fell through so I took my personal time last night. But that means back to work today on finishing Chapter Two. Another Saturday night in writing--ewww.
And I think I'm going to start working on my cover letter for my first job application. The more and more I think about this job, the more I want it. So I want my application to be as strong as possible. I like the university. The department is growing and seems like the faculty are interested in interdisciplinary work. The position fits my interests PERFECTLY. And of course, most importantly--the location is BEAUTIFUL. I feel good about putting a lot of energy into this application. The goal is to send it out by the end of September since its due early October. If I can get this cover letter drafted this week, then I can send it out to some folks for feedback. So I'm going to pause on my publication goals to spend some more time this week on job application stuff.
In the mean time, back to Chapter Two.
And I think I'm going to start working on my cover letter for my first job application. The more and more I think about this job, the more I want it. So I want my application to be as strong as possible. I like the university. The department is growing and seems like the faculty are interested in interdisciplinary work. The position fits my interests PERFECTLY. And of course, most importantly--the location is BEAUTIFUL. I feel good about putting a lot of energy into this application. The goal is to send it out by the end of September since its due early October. If I can get this cover letter drafted this week, then I can send it out to some folks for feedback. So I'm going to pause on my publication goals to spend some more time this week on job application stuff.
In the mean time, back to Chapter Two.
Progress Was Progress
Yesterday was pretty close to a total loss. But, I'm not as mad about it as I would usually be. Things just had to be done. I finally moved up a half of step from my car with chronic problems--which was great because I don't have to put any more money into that anymore. And I had some good personal time yesterday. So although I still need to polish off this whole last section today, I'm cool with it. I just gotta hit it hard so I can enjoy tomorrow. I wrote a paragraph last night, so it wasn't a total loss.
In other news, I've added another postdoc application. Application count for those keeping score:
4 PostDoc
1 T-T Asst. Prof
In other news, I've added another postdoc application. Application count for those keeping score:
4 PostDoc
1 T-T Asst. Prof
Mental Distractions--What Comes Next?
Tonight I was overwhelmed with the need to find a J.O.B. In between sentences on Chapter Two, I have been all over job sites, university sites, and googlin up a storm, looking for assistant prof and post doc positions. The market is just not lining up for my area, and I'm slowly starting to let go. I put a lot of energy into researching postdocs tonight. I found quite a few--mostly at the Ivies, but also at a number of large research, public institutions--almost all of them in places I wouldn't mind living (which is a sharp contrast to the asst. prof. jobs I've seen in my field). So my one folder devoted to application materials for an assistant professor position at a very nice Liberal Arts College has now been joined by three more folders for postdocs. Now I'm up to four applications--far from enough for me to feel like I know what's next--I'm thinking that I'll add four more postdocs to that group in the next month or so. There are four positions that I've been looking at for a while, but the institutions have not put out their applications yet. Although the postdoc applications are currently outweighing the assistant professor positions by 7-1, I'm still not feeling settled one way or the other. I know that at least one discipline that my work correlates with does not start announcing jobs until mid-September, so the assistant professor pile could make a comeback in a few weeks. For the time being, I have one application to complete each month starting in October.
Because of course, I needed something else to do right now.
In the meantime, the battle with Chapter Two continues. Progress is slow tonight, but progress is progress.
Edited at 2:00AM Word count: a measely 600 words--I quit--goodnight....
Because of course, I needed something else to do right now.
In the meantime, the battle with Chapter Two continues. Progress is slow tonight, but progress is progress.
Edited at 2:00AM Word count: a measely 600 words--I quit--goodnight....
Just For Frankie
Hey Frankie--You probably think this post is about you, don't you.
Well, it's not. It's about my ongoing battle with Chapter Two. The struggle continued this evening. I got through Section #5--wrote a little over 1900 words tonight. And I feel only okay about it. Mostly because Section #6 (which covers the past few decades) looms large in the horizon and there are still a few small holes in sections 1-5 that I need to go back and fill. Section #6 is going to be the biggest section in this chapter, and it is going to be an uphill climb to get through it. But I'll do it--and hopefully by Thursday night/Friday morning. I want to be able to spend Friday and Sunday on revisions so that I can send it off to the advisors by Monday. (And I want to not have any guilt about going out of town on Saturday).
Big shouts to Frankie for being a soldier and reading my blog even though its not about her. Love you soror!
Well, it's not. It's about my ongoing battle with Chapter Two. The struggle continued this evening. I got through Section #5--wrote a little over 1900 words tonight. And I feel only okay about it. Mostly because Section #6 (which covers the past few decades) looms large in the horizon and there are still a few small holes in sections 1-5 that I need to go back and fill. Section #6 is going to be the biggest section in this chapter, and it is going to be an uphill climb to get through it. But I'll do it--and hopefully by Thursday night/Friday morning. I want to be able to spend Friday and Sunday on revisions so that I can send it off to the advisors by Monday. (And I want to not have any guilt about going out of town on Saturday).
Big shouts to Frankie for being a soldier and reading my blog even though its not about her. Love you soror!
Sustenance
I was blessed as a naive MA grad student to come into my program at a time where there were a lot of "seasoned" grad students still on campus and active in the department. I looked up to them, I listened to them, I learned from them, and although they may not all know it, they were critical in sustaining me through a time when I wasn't sure if a "life of the mind" was for me.
I am blessed to still be in touch with some of these wonderful souls (soon to be future colleagues). They keep me grounded, keep me from being too self-critical, and most important of all, they make me smile when I think of them. (Too many people in academe make me frown when I think of them). In any case, one of these wonderful souls reminded me of the importance of sustenance during the dissertation process--the need for things and for people that nourish your heart, your mind, and your soul (and of course, your stomach).
This got me thinking about middle school science when you learn about symbiosis--a close relationship between two organisms. (Bear with me, I abandoned the sciences my sophomore year of college). Sometimes the relationship is mutually beneficial--the little bird picks the bugs off the hippo--the bird is happy, the hippo is happy. And sometimes the relationship is parasitic--like a tapeworm that lives in another animal's stomach and eats all its food.
The relationship that a writer has with her dissertation is extremely symbiotic. Some days it is mutually beneficial--the dissertation grows and the writer grows too. But on other days, the dissertation is a huge parasite. It sucks all of the writer's energy--forces the writer to give all of herself to meet this one singular goal of just being done. And unfortunately, these days sometimes outnumber the good days. And when this happens, some serious sustenance is in order.
I have been in need of some serious nourishment during this Chapter Two process, and in so many unexpected ways I have received it. So this post is just a little late night cheesy moment to say thank you to those who understand my symbiotic relationship with my dissertation--those of you who feed my soul like mashed potatoes and refresh my spirit like summer rain when I need it most. This is also a reminder to myself and to anyone who reads this--if you already have a dissertation in your life, you definitely don't need any more parasites--so get rid of anything that is feeding off of you rather than feeding you....
I am blessed to still be in touch with some of these wonderful souls (soon to be future colleagues). They keep me grounded, keep me from being too self-critical, and most important of all, they make me smile when I think of them. (Too many people in academe make me frown when I think of them). In any case, one of these wonderful souls reminded me of the importance of sustenance during the dissertation process--the need for things and for people that nourish your heart, your mind, and your soul (and of course, your stomach).
This got me thinking about middle school science when you learn about symbiosis--a close relationship between two organisms. (Bear with me, I abandoned the sciences my sophomore year of college). Sometimes the relationship is mutually beneficial--the little bird picks the bugs off the hippo--the bird is happy, the hippo is happy. And sometimes the relationship is parasitic--like a tapeworm that lives in another animal's stomach and eats all its food.
The relationship that a writer has with her dissertation is extremely symbiotic. Some days it is mutually beneficial--the dissertation grows and the writer grows too. But on other days, the dissertation is a huge parasite. It sucks all of the writer's energy--forces the writer to give all of herself to meet this one singular goal of just being done. And unfortunately, these days sometimes outnumber the good days. And when this happens, some serious sustenance is in order.
I have been in need of some serious nourishment during this Chapter Two process, and in so many unexpected ways I have received it. So this post is just a little late night cheesy moment to say thank you to those who understand my symbiotic relationship with my dissertation--those of you who feed my soul like mashed potatoes and refresh my spirit like summer rain when I need it most. This is also a reminder to myself and to anyone who reads this--if you already have a dissertation in your life, you definitely don't need any more parasites--so get rid of anything that is feeding off of you rather than feeding you....
Chapter Two, Section Five
Still wrestling. Instead of taking the "easy" route tonight and writing about the two activists I'm familiar with, I built up a little momentum for tomorrow (I hope) by researching and writing about the one politician in this section I was unfamiliar with. It was almost fun. I learned some new things tonight and I think I needed that. So much of this chapter is just a rehearsal of information I know and have written about a million times: b-o-r-i-n-g. It was good to do some researching and digging around tonight. I started working on one of the activists as well, again, just so I can have some momentum for the next writing session. Later today, I'll finish up these two activists and that will be that for section five.
Last Week of August
Chapter Two was supposed to be done already. I am now officially behind and it sucks--let's just keep it real. So this week, I am ignoring all other professional distractions (articles to revise, teaching philosophies, sample syllabi, etc.) and all personal distractions as well. The professional part will be easy though--I still haven't found any jobs that I'm interested in applying for other than the one that came out earlier this month. My mentors keep saying, wait until September, but some of the institutions I'm interested in have already put out ads--they just aren't hiring in the humanities side of our discipline this year. Seems like this is going to be a job market for social scientists/quantitative/media scholars in my field and I'm not any of those. But that's another post for another day...
Back to Chapter Two--I wrote a few more lines last night to finish section #4 and now I'm on section #5 of 6. If I stick to my outline, this section will involve discussing three African American women, two activists and one politicians who was the first (I think) Black women in an elected public office (I think). I need to go to the library and do some more research on her, but my car is in the shop (again) so that will have to wait until tomorrow. My goal is to get through the two activists tonight and then work on the third individual tomorrow. If I can write about the two women tonight by a decent hour, then I am going to start going back through what I have written and begin revising.
Back to Chapter Two--I wrote a few more lines last night to finish section #4 and now I'm on section #5 of 6. If I stick to my outline, this section will involve discussing three African American women, two activists and one politicians who was the first (I think) Black women in an elected public office (I think). I need to go to the library and do some more research on her, but my car is in the shop (again) so that will have to wait until tomorrow. My goal is to get through the two activists tonight and then work on the third individual tomorrow. If I can write about the two women tonight by a decent hour, then I am going to start going back through what I have written and begin revising.
Has Saturday Night Come to THIS?
I'm spending Saturday night in writing.
I could be out having fun, but I'm not.
I could be on a cruise like someone I know, but I'm not.
I could even be writing a novel (which I gave some serious thought to today), but, as should be clear at this point, I'm not.
I'm trying my best to keep fighting through the quicksand otherwise known as Chapter Two. I don't feel conversational; I don't feel any affinity to the English language at all at the moment so this will be all for now....
Saturday Evening's Output: a pitiful 3 pages
Guess I'll be working on Sunday again....
I could be out having fun, but I'm not.
I could be on a cruise like someone I know, but I'm not.
I could even be writing a novel (which I gave some serious thought to today), but, as should be clear at this point, I'm not.
I'm trying my best to keep fighting through the quicksand otherwise known as Chapter Two. I don't feel conversational; I don't feel any affinity to the English language at all at the moment so this will be all for now....
Saturday Evening's Output: a pitiful 3 pages
Guess I'll be working on Sunday again....
Long Day, Longer Night
Realization: I'm bored. It takes a lot to bore me and the reality is I am B-O-R-E-D with this chapter. I typically avoid anything that looks or sounds like a literature review at all cost. And rather than being a colorful survey of African American women's political rhetoric, this Chapter Two has turned into one loooong, boring literature review. I think this chapter is an important element not just for the dissertation, but for the eventual book, but definitely not in its current (or near future state).
Tonight's work involved a lot of staring at the computer, reading articles on JSTOR, and very little writing. I just started forcing myself to type and went back to the old seminar routine of "write more about so-and-so" here when I couldn't write anymore. Total productivity: a miserable 500 words.
Still, I will press on through the quagmire of this chapter. Even if it means sacrificing the majority of my weekend plans. It won't be fun, but I'll do it.
Tonight's work involved a lot of staring at the computer, reading articles on JSTOR, and very little writing. I just started forcing myself to type and went back to the old seminar routine of "write more about so-and-so" here when I couldn't write anymore. Total productivity: a miserable 500 words.
Still, I will press on through the quagmire of this chapter. Even if it means sacrificing the majority of my weekend plans. It won't be fun, but I'll do it.
What Had Happened Was
Life happened today. From things that an insurance company would call "acts of God," to stuff that you should only see/hear on TV. I had a good ol' fashion arm wrestlin match with life today, and life won.
I don't want to take this loss, but I have to. I just finished outlining the rest of Chapter Two, which at least made me feel a little productive. It looks like it will take between 12-15 more pages to finish this monster. I don't usually do a lot of detailed outlining when I write, so this chapter has been different. It has felt a lot more like answering a comp question (shiver)--outlining and then plugging in literature. I need to glue my behind in this chair Thursday and Friday if I want to participate in my functions on Saturday. Right now, I'm thinking that I will forego at least one or two (but of course not all three!) of Saturday's events so I can have some more hours on finishing Chapter Two. My goal of finishing by the end of the week is slipping out of reach....
I'm disappointed, but not discouraged. I know I'll finish it soon.
I don't want to take this loss, but I have to. I just finished outlining the rest of Chapter Two, which at least made me feel a little productive. It looks like it will take between 12-15 more pages to finish this monster. I don't usually do a lot of detailed outlining when I write, so this chapter has been different. It has felt a lot more like answering a comp question (shiver)--outlining and then plugging in literature. I need to glue my behind in this chair Thursday and Friday if I want to participate in my functions on Saturday. Right now, I'm thinking that I will forego at least one or two (but of course not all three!) of Saturday's events so I can have some more hours on finishing Chapter Two. My goal of finishing by the end of the week is slipping out of reach....
I'm disappointed, but not discouraged. I know I'll finish it soon.
Stay-Puft Marshmallow Chapter
Don't ask. Suffice it to say, Chapter Two just keeps growing. Back in JULY (sigh, so much time...) when I started Chapter Two, I visualized it as having four major sections. And perhaps that's why I keep feeling like I'm getting NOWHERE with this thing. It just keeps growing. It now looks like it will take at least six sections to cover this survey. The good news is that I've made some progress today. I finally finished that last section-that-would-not-end (#3)--I've been pouring over it forever. So now I'm on major Section #4. It is looking like this section is going to be shorter than the previous two. I'm just going cover two more sources/figures (unless I just get inspired to do more) and I think that will be more than enough to cover the next few years in the survey. Sections 5 and 6 will probably be especially long since I need to treat both traditional and nontraditional politics in the late twentieth /twenty-first centuries. But I'll deal with that Wednesday and Thursday.
In other news, the journal submission is ready to go. I took a couple days to proof it (mostly being slow and lazy), and I found a lot of wording I didn't like and a FEW major typos. So I had to take a fine-toothed comb to it and I'm glad I spent some time doing that. The piece will officially be on its way in the morning. I'll get started on Possible Publication #2 after I finish wrestling this Stay-Puft Chapter of mine....
In other news, the journal submission is ready to go. I took a couple days to proof it (mostly being slow and lazy), and I found a lot of wording I didn't like and a FEW major typos. So I had to take a fine-toothed comb to it and I'm glad I spent some time doing that. The piece will officially be on its way in the morning. I'll get started on Possible Publication #2 after I finish wrestling this Stay-Puft Chapter of mine....
Another Run at Chapter Two
Goal for this week is simple: Finish Chapter Two. I have a few fun engagements planned for ME on the 20th, hopefully the events will also be an opportunity to celebrate the completion of this chapter.
Before getting to Chapter Two tomorrow, I need to run to the library to look at the latest Chicago Manual (which I should own but I don't, I confess) and make sure the style for this article is TIGHT. I also need to find the latest issue of this journal (it's on-line but some of the front matter is absent from the on-line addition). I need to ensure that none of the submission information has changed from what's online.
Other than that, this week is all about connecting with my co-chairs and Chapter Two. Four to five pages a day should definitely get it done--possibly before the end of the week if I'm focused. That would be excellent so that I can start revisions this week as well. What I have written so far is a lot closer to a zero draft compared to what I wrote for Chapter One, which came out more like a first draft (lot more self editing going on with that draft). This time around, I'm "just" writing--and I'm okay with that.
Before getting to Chapter Two tomorrow, I need to run to the library to look at the latest Chicago Manual (which I should own but I don't, I confess) and make sure the style for this article is TIGHT. I also need to find the latest issue of this journal (it's on-line but some of the front matter is absent from the on-line addition). I need to ensure that none of the submission information has changed from what's online.
Other than that, this week is all about connecting with my co-chairs and Chapter Two. Four to five pages a day should definitely get it done--possibly before the end of the week if I'm focused. That would be excellent so that I can start revisions this week as well. What I have written so far is a lot closer to a zero draft compared to what I wrote for Chapter One, which came out more like a first draft (lot more self editing going on with that draft). This time around, I'm "just" writing--and I'm okay with that.
11.5 Hours Later
Pure grit and determination. Made it through ALL the revisions and proofreading for this article. I have settled on submitting it to Specialized History Journal. I know that it may not "count" directly in my field, however, 1) I think it actually has a chance of seeing the light of day in this journal and 2) I'm probably not just applying to jobs in my field since my work is so interdisciplinary. So I feel satisfied with my decision and I'll get started next week on the piece that I am going to send to Major Rhetoric Journal, which is probably another 12 to 24 hours worth of revisions away from being sent off.
I feel a little more accomplished than I was this morning, that's always a good thing. I'm going to sleep on this piece and then proofread it one more time tomorrow. Monday, cover letter, final copies, and into the MAIL!!! (Only a couple days behind deadline, not bad right??)
I feel a little more accomplished than I was this morning, that's always a good thing. I'm going to sleep on this piece and then proofread it one more time tomorrow. Monday, cover letter, final copies, and into the MAIL!!! (Only a couple days behind deadline, not bad right??)
OK, Gotta Get This Off My Desk
So as I mentioned in a previous post (Teaching Philosophy Statement), I decided to save myself some publication anxiety by sending off my nineteenth-century piece to a history journal. I was supposed to have this off of my desk by Friday--but I'm still holding on to it. I keep going back and forth as to where I'm going to send this. If I do continue with the idea of sending it to Specialized History Journal, I need to rewrite some of the literature parts (which are more fitting for a rhetoric journal). If I send it to Major Rhetoric journal, then I have to completely rewrite the arguments and switch the style (which I did in a version I started early last week). Either way, the piece also needs stronger organizational elements (topic sentences and transitions--which I've been working on this week as well). So at the moment, I'm leaning towards the history journal so that I can be done with this TODAY and get back to the work of Chapter Two. I REALLY wanted to be done with Chapter Two by now and it's killing me that this thing is still looming over my head--this is throwing a wrench into my plans of being on Chapter Five by Conference time in November. But such is my so-called life.
Five Pages!
Tonight has been a good evening of "concentrated energy." I keep learning so much about myself as a writer doing this process--this week has reaffirmed that while working in long 8 hour blocks may work for some people, that generally does not work for me. When I'm focused, I can get a lot accomplished in a smaller chunk of time. Especially when I have specific tasks to accomplish. So tonight, I drafted five pages on two more women in my chronology. I'm pleased with my progress again, FINALLY.
I've been looking for positive reinforcement that works for me and I finally found it (or at least what worked for today--who knows if this will continue). I've tried the no TV till you're done--that doesn't work--if I feel like watching something I do, but its not difficult for me to just miss the latest episode (but since most of the stuff I watch is already in reruns or is known to reair continuously on a certain music channel, it's not really a pressing issue). I have learned I can pretty easily do without blogging or IM till I'm finished writing (for the most part). Keeping my behind glued to the chair is still more of a challenge--I haven't figured out how to completely combat roaming aimlessly to the fridge. But I realized tonight that the latest and greatest incentive to get my writing done (at least for the time being) is so that I can talk on the phone. I always look forward to my evening phone calls and tonight is no exception. I flew through work tonight primarily because I told someone to give me until midnight to finish--what a great personal deadline that turned out to be. I'm off to talk on the phone!!
I've been looking for positive reinforcement that works for me and I finally found it (or at least what worked for today--who knows if this will continue). I've tried the no TV till you're done--that doesn't work--if I feel like watching something I do, but its not difficult for me to just miss the latest episode (but since most of the stuff I watch is already in reruns or is known to reair continuously on a certain music channel, it's not really a pressing issue). I have learned I can pretty easily do without blogging or IM till I'm finished writing (for the most part). Keeping my behind glued to the chair is still more of a challenge--I haven't figured out how to completely combat roaming aimlessly to the fridge. But I realized tonight that the latest and greatest incentive to get my writing done (at least for the time being) is so that I can talk on the phone. I always look forward to my evening phone calls and tonight is no exception. I flew through work tonight primarily because I told someone to give me until midnight to finish--what a great personal deadline that turned out to be. I'm off to talk on the phone!!
Why Didn't I Go To Law School?
At several points in my life (mostly prior to the PhD pursuit), I've considered going to law school. This MSNBC article, "Third Year Law School: Jury's Out on its Value," was a reminder that if I was going to do it, I should have done it before this PhD business, not after. Because of course, NOW they want to make it more rigorous. Not that I'm anti-work, but let's face it, I've put in 20+ straight years of school. If I go for any more, I want them to be as painless as possible. I've watched at least one person go through 3rd year law, and man, he didn't do a durn thing that year. The only reason he was at all busy was that he was getting a dual MBA degree. Why did I have to go the route were school only gets more strenuous as you go along??
Dissertation work is moving slowly today. The reality is that I need a good night's sleep for a change. While the week started productively, it has since been on a rollercoaster of highs and lows, largely due to the fact that I need some sleep. So I'm going to finish this section I'm working on tonight (so far I've written two pages), and then I am turning off the phones and going to bed. I am not setting my alarm clock; I'm just going to sleep until my body is ready to wake up. (Those who know me know this is dangerous business, as I have set a few sleeping records in my day, but it must be done). Tomorrow I will move on to tackling the third major section of Chapter Two. I am still aiming to meet my goal of finishing a draft of this chapter this week, although I recognize that some serious revisions are going to be in order for next week. The extensive literature involved in this chapter is time consuming and boring, and I am looking forward to Chapter Three when I can FINALLY begin working with some primary texts and analyzing media reports. Chapter Two has taught me that I probably could not write a standard textbook, especially for a survey course--there is just too much tediously uninteresting work involved. (Hats off to those of you who write textbooks).
I'm such a nerd.
Dissertation work is moving slowly today. The reality is that I need a good night's sleep for a change. While the week started productively, it has since been on a rollercoaster of highs and lows, largely due to the fact that I need some sleep. So I'm going to finish this section I'm working on tonight (so far I've written two pages), and then I am turning off the phones and going to bed. I am not setting my alarm clock; I'm just going to sleep until my body is ready to wake up. (Those who know me know this is dangerous business, as I have set a few sleeping records in my day, but it must be done). Tomorrow I will move on to tackling the third major section of Chapter Two. I am still aiming to meet my goal of finishing a draft of this chapter this week, although I recognize that some serious revisions are going to be in order for next week. The extensive literature involved in this chapter is time consuming and boring, and I am looking forward to Chapter Three when I can FINALLY begin working with some primary texts and analyzing media reports. Chapter Two has taught me that I probably could not write a standard textbook, especially for a survey course--there is just too much tediously uninteresting work involved. (Hats off to those of you who write textbooks).
I'm such a nerd.
Better Start
This week is getting off to a much better start than last in terms of both personal life and academic work. I did work on the teaching philosophy statement last night, but mostly did reading on Wheatley and Stewart (like I needed to read anything else on Stewart!). So today, I shuffled around this morning, looked at job stuff, worked on the philosophy some more and then went to pick up the girls from their first day of school. Traffic was a nightmare. And I'm trying to figure out why they won't have books until the end of the week--what are they going to do all day?? What happened to homework on the first day of school??
Anyways, I came home and got to work. I've been making progress today and my goal for today was just two pages. I think last week I was setting my goals too high in my head, making me feel pretty steadily disappointed. So I have my two pages done for tonight and I'm going to work on them some more until I get incredibly tired or someone gives me a good reason to stop and socialize.
Tomorrow's goals--1) Enjoy the surprises the day might bring. 2) Track down my advisors to talk about job stuff and Chapter One 3) Write at least 3 more pages on Chapter Two. Sound reasonable??
Teaching Philosophy Statement
I've hit my first major wall on the dissertation. I've been reading everyday and doing a little writing (paragraphs at a time), but I have not been able to make the headway I've wanted to on Chapter Two. I'm giving myself one more week to get this thing out of my system.
In the meantime, I've done my best to stay productive in other ways. I am working on the nineteenth century piece, and I realized that it may be more suited for a history journal than the major communication outlet I was thinking about. Of course an added bonus is that I can keep it in Chicago if I send it to history and I have less work to do on the revisions--its a very strong (I think) archival piece--so I WILL send that out by Friday.
Last night I started work on my teaching portfolio. I have completely trashed my old philosophy statement--it was clearly written to fulfill some assignment because it has very little of my personality in it at all. So I went through all of my old emails that I have saved from students who write me at the end of the semester to say how much they enjoyed the class. It was heartwarming and almost made me miss teaching (that feeling quickly passed--I'm enjoying the fact that I don't have to copy syllabi in a couple weeks). I found some common themes in the emails--my classroom environment is one that is seen as being comfortable for such a high anxiety course (public speaking), my organization/preparation, and my attitude/enthusiasm. As a result, I'm thinking about organizing my teaching philosophy statement around these themes--trying to come up with some good alliteration or something. Right now I'm thinking of "P" words (I don't know why that letter came to mind first)--planning, preparation, performance, passion, peer-support/evaluation--I don't know--still in inventional stages on this one, but I'm feeling good about this direction.
I would love to say that I'm going to write, write, write, today, but let's be real. I will be proud if I can get through these paragraphs on Maria Stewart and Phillis Wheatley--that would be fabulous progress for today. We'll see...
In the meantime, I've done my best to stay productive in other ways. I am working on the nineteenth century piece, and I realized that it may be more suited for a history journal than the major communication outlet I was thinking about. Of course an added bonus is that I can keep it in Chicago if I send it to history and I have less work to do on the revisions--its a very strong (I think) archival piece--so I WILL send that out by Friday.
Last night I started work on my teaching portfolio. I have completely trashed my old philosophy statement--it was clearly written to fulfill some assignment because it has very little of my personality in it at all. So I went through all of my old emails that I have saved from students who write me at the end of the semester to say how much they enjoyed the class. It was heartwarming and almost made me miss teaching (that feeling quickly passed--I'm enjoying the fact that I don't have to copy syllabi in a couple weeks). I found some common themes in the emails--my classroom environment is one that is seen as being comfortable for such a high anxiety course (public speaking), my organization/preparation, and my attitude/enthusiasm. As a result, I'm thinking about organizing my teaching philosophy statement around these themes--trying to come up with some good alliteration or something. Right now I'm thinking of "P" words (I don't know why that letter came to mind first)--planning, preparation, performance, passion, peer-support/evaluation--I don't know--still in inventional stages on this one, but I'm feeling good about this direction.
I would love to say that I'm going to write, write, write, today, but let's be real. I will be proud if I can get through these paragraphs on Maria Stewart and Phillis Wheatley--that would be fabulous progress for today. We'll see...
Libraries, Printers, and Sigma News
Let's preface this by saying that it's well after midnight and I just started working on the diss around 11. I have completely resigned myself to the knowledge that I am a nightowl. My official writing hours will be 10pm until 2-3am. During the day--reading, researching, and maybe outlining (oh, and maybe blogging)--along with working on aforementioned publication and teaching portfolio goals. But at night--only dissertation. This is when I will write from now on (unless the Spirit otherwise moves and I find productivity and inspiration at additional times of day as well). My sorors will be thrilled to know that my away message won't be up perpetually all day.
Sidenote--I really appreciate my friends, sorors, and loved ones who actually read my away messages and don't bother me when it says I'm trying to write.
That being said. It's turned from a stressful start to the week to a very bright day.
I met perhaps the world's greatest librarian this week. She's a reference librarian at the main public library here in town and she's just FABULOUS--here to known as Ms. Wonderful. I met her on Monday when I was in search of the ever elusive Lelia Smith-Foley-Davis (we finally figured out the triple name score mystery). Ms. Wonderful was immediately immersed in my dectective work with me and as a result, she immediately shared my frustration. We did some searching on Monday to little avail, but alas the fierceless Ms. Wonderful would not give up. So I get an email from her later on saying that she had found a great lead that I might want to look at. She left some materials for me at the reference desk, but since she did not work again until Wednesday I let her know that I would wait until she returned to visit again. So today she introduced me to perhaps one of the world's best, least known reference materials for African American subjects:
In Black and White - A Guide to Magazine Articles, Newspaper Articles, and Books Concerning More than 15,000 Black Individuals and Groups, by Mary Spradling (circa 1980--3rd edition)
This wonderful periodical index is one of the best works of recovery I've ever seen. I know I'm a nerd, but for the first time ever, I considered buying an index--it's that good and its one of those things you just know is going to disappear from all the world's libraries one day. What makes it special is not just that it had listings for my subject :), but that it indexes a lot of old Black periodicals like Essence and Jet for those early dates (you know those dates right before databases like ProQuest pick up). So anyone doing research on Black subjects, especially civil rights era, should check this out. Back to the story, when I arrived, Ms. Wonderful has copied for me the page that has listings for my subject. We take a trip over to the microfilms and she pulls a couple of the articles for me (because she's already read a few) that she thinks I'll find interesting. Well, I soon realized that my short library trip was becoming lengthy and by the time I read through the reels she had pulled, the time was up on my parking meter (yes the public library has very limited public parking). So I let Ms. Wonderful know what I had found and casually mentioned that I would be back to look up the remaining listings right after I fed my meter. Folks, in the time that it took me to go downstairs, stuff in some change and come back up, Ms. Wonderful had pulled the remaining 4 or 5 reels for me and had already loaded the next article (in chronological order) into the reader for me. As if that's not enough, during all of this time, she continued searching for me and found the death record of my subject's mother. In short, I am now completely spoiled and don't know if I'll ever be able to visit another library again.
In other news--I got my new laser printer. It's a cute little printer from Best Buy (my other home)--hopefully it will live up to its 3000 page billing because goodness knows the inkjet wasn't cutting it.
AND...
My beautiful sorority that I love so dear, Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority Innnnnnncorporated, has named me one of the Top 20 members under the age of 40. The recognition is completely undeserving but much appreciated. I just love my sorors--they always know how to brighten a sister's day when she needs it most!!
Back to work Mon.
Sidenote--I really appreciate my friends, sorors, and loved ones who actually read my away messages and don't bother me when it says I'm trying to write.
That being said. It's turned from a stressful start to the week to a very bright day.
I met perhaps the world's greatest librarian this week. She's a reference librarian at the main public library here in town and she's just FABULOUS--here to known as Ms. Wonderful. I met her on Monday when I was in search of the ever elusive Lelia Smith-Foley-Davis (we finally figured out the triple name score mystery). Ms. Wonderful was immediately immersed in my dectective work with me and as a result, she immediately shared my frustration. We did some searching on Monday to little avail, but alas the fierceless Ms. Wonderful would not give up. So I get an email from her later on saying that she had found a great lead that I might want to look at. She left some materials for me at the reference desk, but since she did not work again until Wednesday I let her know that I would wait until she returned to visit again. So today she introduced me to perhaps one of the world's best, least known reference materials for African American subjects:
In Black and White - A Guide to Magazine Articles, Newspaper Articles, and Books Concerning More than 15,000 Black Individuals and Groups, by Mary Spradling (circa 1980--3rd edition)
This wonderful periodical index is one of the best works of recovery I've ever seen. I know I'm a nerd, but for the first time ever, I considered buying an index--it's that good and its one of those things you just know is going to disappear from all the world's libraries one day. What makes it special is not just that it had listings for my subject :), but that it indexes a lot of old Black periodicals like Essence and Jet for those early dates (you know those dates right before databases like ProQuest pick up). So anyone doing research on Black subjects, especially civil rights era, should check this out. Back to the story, when I arrived, Ms. Wonderful has copied for me the page that has listings for my subject. We take a trip over to the microfilms and she pulls a couple of the articles for me (because she's already read a few) that she thinks I'll find interesting. Well, I soon realized that my short library trip was becoming lengthy and by the time I read through the reels she had pulled, the time was up on my parking meter (yes the public library has very limited public parking). So I let Ms. Wonderful know what I had found and casually mentioned that I would be back to look up the remaining listings right after I fed my meter. Folks, in the time that it took me to go downstairs, stuff in some change and come back up, Ms. Wonderful had pulled the remaining 4 or 5 reels for me and had already loaded the next article (in chronological order) into the reader for me. As if that's not enough, during all of this time, she continued searching for me and found the death record of my subject's mother. In short, I am now completely spoiled and don't know if I'll ever be able to visit another library again.
In other news--I got my new laser printer. It's a cute little printer from Best Buy (my other home)--hopefully it will live up to its 3000 page billing because goodness knows the inkjet wasn't cutting it.
AND...
My beautiful sorority that I love so dear, Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority Innnnnnncorporated, has named me one of the Top 20 members under the age of 40. The recognition is completely undeserving but much appreciated. I just love my sorors--they always know how to brighten a sister's day when she needs it most!!
Back to work Mon.
Potential Publication #1: Problematic
Didn't get much dissertation work done today. I'm exhausted. But to feel productive, I started the annoying process of switching from Chicago to MLA. Actually got through it all. As I was going along, I started actually reading the piece and it needs much more work than I was wanting to put in. I don't even agree with some of the arguments in this piece anymore (its from my MA thesis, just two years old). I thought this was one of my strongest chapters from the work, but it sounds like crap. This is why I'm not published--I can't get anything off of my desk because I feel like everything is in need of too much revision. I'm not just being a perfectionist--sections of this paper need to be rewritten, and I don't know if that is a good use of my time this early in the dissertation process. I may need to look around my files and see if another piece is closer to being sent off.
My #1 priority right now is this dissertation and I am continuing to feel like the idea of a job search is exerting too much external pressure to focus on other things. I do not have any sense of peace about applying this year. Yes, they are all things that will benefit me professionally, but they are extremely distracting from what's most important right now--getting the degree completed this year.
My #1 priority right now is this dissertation and I am continuing to feel like the idea of a job search is exerting too much external pressure to focus on other things. I do not have any sense of peace about applying this year. Yes, they are all things that will benefit me professionally, but they are extremely distracting from what's most important right now--getting the degree completed this year.
Balancing Dissertation and Publications
I really need some publications if I'm going on the job market this year. In my mind, I'm seeing this year as a "practice run" because I know that I need publications and to finish my PhD to truly be marketable in my field and get the kind of job I want. Most likely I'm going to be applying for postdocs and jobs this year.
I need to get a couple of pieces out before this month is out. So here are the goals/possibilities--
1) Revise and send out piece on 19th Century rhetor by next Tuesday, August 9th to Major Rhetoric Journal. Turning this into a potential article should involve: 1) strengthen the writing (topic sentences, clarity of arguments, and making the langauge more precise) 2) switching from Chicago to MLA.
2) Revise and send out one of my pieces on an African-American woman politician by Tuesday, August 16th to communication journal that specializes in research on people of color. Submitting to this journal is going to mean switching the style to APA (UGH!!!!) and tightening up the writing.
3) Rewrite co-authored piece on which I am lead author that was sent back from Regional Communication Journal. That is going to involve more research, further analysis, reorganization of arguments (particularly exigence for the study), and once again switching styles (probably APA to MLA). I don't know if I'm ready to do all of that right now. My co-author wants us to jump back into it, but it is going to need a lot of work--I would rather wait until I'm further along on the dissertation.
More than anything, I need to get my work out there. My struggle is that I already know that I am not an article writer--I want to write books. The generic conventions of writing an article do not appeal at all to my writing style or to my personality for that matter. But I need to get some feedback on my work and I need to make contributions to the field and I need to do it because everybody says so. Unfortunately, this means that I have no internal motivation whatsoever to write journal articles. What I love about the idea of writing books is that I am writing because I want to. I got into this whole academic machine to fulfill a goal I've had since I was a child--to write books. So I need to get some articles out, need to finish the diss, so I can go on the job market and put myself in a position to do so.
The plan is to spend one hour each day on publication work and devote the rest of my writing time to the dissertation.
I need to get a couple of pieces out before this month is out. So here are the goals/possibilities--
1) Revise and send out piece on 19th Century rhetor by next Tuesday, August 9th to Major Rhetoric Journal. Turning this into a potential article should involve: 1) strengthen the writing (topic sentences, clarity of arguments, and making the langauge more precise) 2) switching from Chicago to MLA.
2) Revise and send out one of my pieces on an African-American woman politician by Tuesday, August 16th to communication journal that specializes in research on people of color. Submitting to this journal is going to mean switching the style to APA (UGH!!!!) and tightening up the writing.
3) Rewrite co-authored piece on which I am lead author that was sent back from Regional Communication Journal. That is going to involve more research, further analysis, reorganization of arguments (particularly exigence for the study), and once again switching styles (probably APA to MLA). I don't know if I'm ready to do all of that right now. My co-author wants us to jump back into it, but it is going to need a lot of work--I would rather wait until I'm further along on the dissertation.
More than anything, I need to get my work out there. My struggle is that I already know that I am not an article writer--I want to write books. The generic conventions of writing an article do not appeal at all to my writing style or to my personality for that matter. But I need to get some feedback on my work and I need to make contributions to the field and I need to do it because everybody says so. Unfortunately, this means that I have no internal motivation whatsoever to write journal articles. What I love about the idea of writing books is that I am writing because I want to. I got into this whole academic machine to fulfill a goal I've had since I was a child--to write books. So I need to get some articles out, need to finish the diss, so I can go on the job market and put myself in a position to do so.
The plan is to spend one hour each day on publication work and devote the rest of my writing time to the dissertation.
Employed But Can't Spell
No, I haven't discovered a way to circumvent the academic job market. And no, I haven't created my mentors' worst nightmares of my attempting to teach full-time and write the dissertation. Starting Friday, I will be driving Little Miss Daisy, and possibly her older sister Little Ms. Violet. A friend of my mom's needs help getting her kids from their new school WAY across town (from her, but closer to me), and she's willing to toss a little cash my way. So I figure why not?! When has a grad student ever turned down a free meal or easy money? And to think my mom almost didn't tell me because she thought I was too busy! Technically, I guess that's true. BUT If you knew how much cash was on the table--you'd find this absolutely astonishing. There may be some additional financial support if I assist Little Miss Daisy with her reading comprehension.
Now I'm a smart woman, but it's been a long time since I've tutored anyone who wasn't in college. If I had to guess, I would say I was in eighth or ninth grade the last time I tutored a "kid." Apparently, Little Miss Daisy previously attended (not sure about her new school), one of these new-fangled institutions where you get to spell words any way that you please. Ok, I'm not that old--I can barely lay claim to being born in the 70s, but back when I was a kid, we didn't get to choose how to spell a word. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Now, I study and use African-American rhetorical forms, and although I do not do it with the skillz of some (you know who you are--AB), it is very easy for me to slide into a rhythmic blend of standardized English, hip hop slang, and AAE. (Earlier today I had an old friend from high school crackin up because I managed to use "hot mess" and "superfluous" in the same sentence--clearly he hasn't talked to me in a long time). With me, it all depends on the audience, depends on the mood, depends on the medium. But in each case it is a personal choice. So on some level, I reckon I'm supposed to support a child's ability to chose her language, and the appropriate spellings thereof. BUT in this time, in this country, a child--especially a child of color--should have access to all of the choices. In this case, the choice seems to be made for her and it is a strategic choice that can later be used against her.
To make matters worse, I, again who loves the creativity of language, am being put into the position to "correct" Little Miss Daisy's spelling, and help her learn to read more effectively. This presents several concerns on my part. 1) I can't spell worth a lick. I'm that person in the grad lab that shouts out, "How do you spell..." And I am NOT ashamed to ask my students to spell something for me--I'm really lazy when it comes to spellin and can freely admit that spellcheck has ruined my life. 2) After reading all of this academic...stuff for the past X years, how does one go about teaching things like phonics? I also was terrible at phonics as a child. 3) How does one "correct" learning habits? Little Miss Daisy is not five. She is going to middle school. That is frightening to me. She's a cool little girl who I used to babysit when she was still in diapers (scary--I called her StringBean as a kid and now she's bigger than me), but she's already reached that "school is dumb" phase of being an almost teenager. So what exactly am I supposed to do in an hour or so a week??
I'm still scoping out this situation--I am hoping that tutoring will be like riding a bike. I am hoping that I can help her build some stronger study/reading habits--I already know that she does not read enough. I am hoping that I can influence her mother to perhaps tone down her extracurricular while she gets her academics together. I am hoping that if nothing else I can be an encouragement to her, because I know how frustrating it is to feel like you don't get it when the other kids do. I am hoping that this new school will be better for her. I am hoping that one day Southern State will have schooling that provides equal learning opportunities that are not determined by your parents' property taxes...... I'm feeling awfully optimistic for 230AM!!
Now I'm a smart woman, but it's been a long time since I've tutored anyone who wasn't in college. If I had to guess, I would say I was in eighth or ninth grade the last time I tutored a "kid." Apparently, Little Miss Daisy previously attended (not sure about her new school), one of these new-fangled institutions where you get to spell words any way that you please. Ok, I'm not that old--I can barely lay claim to being born in the 70s, but back when I was a kid, we didn't get to choose how to spell a word. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Now, I study and use African-American rhetorical forms, and although I do not do it with the skillz of some (you know who you are--AB), it is very easy for me to slide into a rhythmic blend of standardized English, hip hop slang, and AAE. (Earlier today I had an old friend from high school crackin up because I managed to use "hot mess" and "superfluous" in the same sentence--clearly he hasn't talked to me in a long time). With me, it all depends on the audience, depends on the mood, depends on the medium. But in each case it is a personal choice. So on some level, I reckon I'm supposed to support a child's ability to chose her language, and the appropriate spellings thereof. BUT in this time, in this country, a child--especially a child of color--should have access to all of the choices. In this case, the choice seems to be made for her and it is a strategic choice that can later be used against her.
To make matters worse, I, again who loves the creativity of language, am being put into the position to "correct" Little Miss Daisy's spelling, and help her learn to read more effectively. This presents several concerns on my part. 1) I can't spell worth a lick. I'm that person in the grad lab that shouts out, "How do you spell..." And I am NOT ashamed to ask my students to spell something for me--I'm really lazy when it comes to spellin and can freely admit that spellcheck has ruined my life. 2) After reading all of this academic...stuff for the past X years, how does one go about teaching things like phonics? I also was terrible at phonics as a child. 3) How does one "correct" learning habits? Little Miss Daisy is not five. She is going to middle school. That is frightening to me. She's a cool little girl who I used to babysit when she was still in diapers (scary--I called her StringBean as a kid and now she's bigger than me), but she's already reached that "school is dumb" phase of being an almost teenager. So what exactly am I supposed to do in an hour or so a week??
I'm still scoping out this situation--I am hoping that tutoring will be like riding a bike. I am hoping that I can help her build some stronger study/reading habits--I already know that she does not read enough. I am hoping that I can influence her mother to perhaps tone down her extracurricular while she gets her academics together. I am hoping that if nothing else I can be an encouragement to her, because I know how frustrating it is to feel like you don't get it when the other kids do. I am hoping that this new school will be better for her. I am hoping that one day Southern State will have schooling that provides equal learning opportunities that are not determined by your parents' property taxes...... I'm feeling awfully optimistic for 230AM!!
Moving On 2 Chapter 2
Chapter Two is currently collecting mold like an unwanted sandwich in a He-Man lunchbox. I'm exhausted from a long day of tinkering with those encyclopedia articles. Now its time to move on to the important work of finishing Chapter Two. The introductory nature of the chapter makes me feel like I'm behind, and technically, I am behind where I wanted to be at this point in the process. I'm mean its AUGUST for goodness sake. MAY is just around the corner!! I wanted to be into my first major content chapter by now. Sigh.
But fear not, I will be back to work in the morning on the elusive Chapter Two. The goal for Tuesday is to finish that durn section on Black women's politics prior to emancipation. I have a few paragraphs down on enslaved women's resistance/political activities undermining the institution of slavery. I need to finish that and work on the major arguments of Black women's public discourse, particular Phyllis Wheatley's use of poetry, Maria Stewart's adaptation of the jeremiadic tradition and of course, the ever popular Sojourner Truth. I'm trying to decide if I want to also include Sarah Parker Remond, the lesser known sister of Charles Remond. Sarah is an interesting subject because she spoke before high society British audiences about the sexual exploitation of enslaved African women in an effort to sway British sympathy and influence US public policy. Savvy politics in my opinion--not that she was the only Black woman to go abroad to do so--but an interesting case study nonetheless. I just don't want this chapter to get too big so I'm trying to limit in my head the examples I want to use. I could also get into the rhetoric of quilts, black women's literary/anti-slavery groups, Underground Railroad, etc. but that's just too much. I need to stick primarily to forms of "traditional" public address. We'll see if I can manage that later.
But fear not, I will be back to work in the morning on the elusive Chapter Two. The goal for Tuesday is to finish that durn section on Black women's politics prior to emancipation. I have a few paragraphs down on enslaved women's resistance/political activities undermining the institution of slavery. I need to finish that and work on the major arguments of Black women's public discourse, particular Phyllis Wheatley's use of poetry, Maria Stewart's adaptation of the jeremiadic tradition and of course, the ever popular Sojourner Truth. I'm trying to decide if I want to also include Sarah Parker Remond, the lesser known sister of Charles Remond. Sarah is an interesting subject because she spoke before high society British audiences about the sexual exploitation of enslaved African women in an effort to sway British sympathy and influence US public policy. Savvy politics in my opinion--not that she was the only Black woman to go abroad to do so--but an interesting case study nonetheless. I just don't want this chapter to get too big so I'm trying to limit in my head the examples I want to use. I could also get into the rhetoric of quilts, black women's literary/anti-slavery groups, Underground Railroad, etc. but that's just too much. I need to stick primarily to forms of "traditional" public address. We'll see if I can manage that later.
It Seemed Like a Good Idea
No dissertation work today. I'll write a plan of work for Chapter Two tomorrow.
Today I MUST finish these encyclopedia biographies. All three are in various stages of disrepair. The Eva Clayton article is the most complete--her biography is the least complicated and information on her has been very very easy to find. The Corrine Brown piece, for which I have the most research in terms of pages and notes, is still in need of balance. Brown has been controversial throughout her entire career (and I love troublemakers) and she also is my sorority sister--so I'm working on making sure there is a good balance between the good and the not-so-good. Lastly, there's my favorite subject, Lelia Smith-Foley-Davis. I finally sorted out the Smith details and the Davis details, but the Foley name is still a mystery. I'm going to take one more stab at making calls and hitting the library on that in the morning, but if I don't have an answer by noon, I'm sending off the piece as is. I have the beginning and the end of that piece the way I like them, but I need to brush up the middle. And for the first time ever, my bibliographies/further reading lists are not done for any of these pieces!! I'm usually the bib queen--they tend to be my means of procrastination, but I don't have any sources down for these articles. Terrible shame.
Back to work.
Today I MUST finish these encyclopedia biographies. All three are in various stages of disrepair. The Eva Clayton article is the most complete--her biography is the least complicated and information on her has been very very easy to find. The Corrine Brown piece, for which I have the most research in terms of pages and notes, is still in need of balance. Brown has been controversial throughout her entire career (and I love troublemakers) and she also is my sorority sister--so I'm working on making sure there is a good balance between the good and the not-so-good. Lastly, there's my favorite subject, Lelia Smith-Foley-Davis. I finally sorted out the Smith details and the Davis details, but the Foley name is still a mystery. I'm going to take one more stab at making calls and hitting the library on that in the morning, but if I don't have an answer by noon, I'm sending off the piece as is. I have the beginning and the end of that piece the way I like them, but I need to brush up the middle. And for the first time ever, my bibliographies/further reading lists are not done for any of these pieces!! I'm usually the bib queen--they tend to be my means of procrastination, but I don't have any sources down for these articles. Terrible shame.
Back to work.
Is Fashion Anti-Intellectual???
You all can blame Stewgad for this late night rambling...
The issue of attire has surfaced this week in good ol' Chronicle. Stewgad's thoughtful response on classroom confrontations and dress has prodded me to pull out one of my favorite lectures: "Attire in the Academy: Why Matching is a Scholarly No-No." I'll deal with the belligerent student issue another time....
The issue of attire has surfaced this week in good ol' Chronicle. Stewgad's thoughtful response on classroom confrontations and dress has prodded me to pull out one of my favorite lectures: "Attire in the Academy: Why Matching is a Scholarly No-No." I'll deal with the belligerent student issue another time....
I've never understood how sloppiness came to be defined as a sign of brilliance or "coolness." Think about it and look around. If you've ever attended college, worked at a university, or even seen various portrayals of professors on television, the sloppiest or most eccentric dressers are generally those thought of as the "most intellectual" or the "coolest." Don't get me wrong, casual is one thing, but too many academics are just down right sloppy and un-groomed. I mean is a comb non-environmental or something?? Does matching violate some post-continental philosophical statement that I'm not aware of?? Did Habermas say, thou shalt not change your shirt more than twice a week?? Ok, really, I'm picking on a small minority of academics whose basic attire annoys me immensely.
In all seriousness, I think that it is easy to oversimplify the academic classroom uniform as a smoking jacket/pipe or jeans/tshirt or tie-dye/birkenstocks (oooh I hate those shoes). No one in campus administration really dresses that way and most instructors/professors don't either. Whenever we talk about norms of classroom appearance in particular, we need to take into consideration sooo many things, especially--age, gender, race/nationality, region, and discipline/nature of institution. I went to high school sponsored by a religious college/seminary--the norms for attire in that environment were pretty formal. Having taught and attended school in both the Northeast and the Southeast, there are vast differences in just region. At my ritzy, private undergraduate institution in the Southeast, only science professors dressed like they were about to go into the woods or a swamp after class, mostly because they actually might. Generally, professors looked--professional. "Formal" dress does not at many institutions communicate rigidity or strictness; it can also communicate style, flair, respect, religious beliefs, and/or professionalism. As an undergrad, I did not assume professors who dressed up were prudish, mean, or inflexible; if anything, I really didn't even notice at all. What I noticed was the few professors who looked...well, a hot mess: the hippies, the goth chicks, the farmer, the lumberjack, etc.
Perhaps dress is a sensitive area for me because I teach public speaking and we talk explicitly about what nonverbals such as dress can communicate. I believe it is important for me to practice what I preach. I tell my students that in formal speaking situations they should always dress one notch above their audience, stand out just a little bit--so I do the same. This does not make my classroom formal or rigid--those peers who have seen me teach know that I maintain an interesting balance of being in charge and "cool." I prefer communicate my openness to students in other ways--like respecting them and being friendly.
Given all of my various cultural/social influences and the models I had as an undergrad, it never occurred to me to dress casually, and it's not in my nature to be sloppy :). Where I come from, everyone dresses up to go to work--and this was my job. I quickly had to get used to being in the SMALL minority of graduate student instructors who wore anything other than jeans or khakis to class--interestingly enough, most of us in that group were women, Black, or Southern (and generally some combination thereof). In contrast to what I had seen in the Southeast, quite a few of the young women instructors at my Northeast institution seem comfortable in jeans and other casual attire. I've even seen some wear tank tops and other trendy apparel that show off interesting things like tattoos and belly button rings. That would be uncomfortable for me, especially being so close in age to my students and with all of the stereotypes about Black women's sexuality. Overall, I wear what is comfortable for me; what I've always worn to any job--dress clothes. And like most jobs I've had, I build "casual days" into the calendar. In my classroom, those tend to be days when I am critiquing speeches and sitting in the back of the room for the period. But, I can't get down with Ms. Mentor on being dowdy. I love sharp clothing--I'm not flashy in the classroom, but I'm not afraid to wear things that I actually look nice in. I'm also extremely petite so in general, I wear a lot of heels, in and out of the classroom. I have a pair of Nine West 3" heel boots that I had to retire because I wore them out--they were my favorite shoes to teach in and my dissertation advisor called them "self-esteem boots." My students and co-workers often comment on my clothing, and although occasionally with my co-workers it serves as another marker of my "difference," with my students it is always very positive. Every semester at least one student would say that they appreciated the fact I "actually got dressed" to come teach them.
Review: 1) Smart people can match. 2)When you brush your teeth, comb your hair, and change into something that doesn't resemble what you slept in, people appreciate it.
Teaching Portfolio
Ok, it's official. I am going to apply for at least one academic job. After some good counsel from friends in and out of academe, I have decided that it is important for me to get the experience of being on the job market, and more importantly, to begin putting myself in a position to be at the type of institution I really want to be at.
That being said, I realized today that I need to get started on my teaching
Anyone seen any really good (or really bad) examples of teaching
Enough job stuff--my obssession with checking the ads daily is growing to twice a day. I haven't done any real work today. Registered for a conference that I can't afford to attend. But mostly, I've been monitoring the work of the men installing new windows into the house. They've been here ALL day, which means unfortunately, I've been stuck inside all day too. Of course, now that they are leaving, it's starting to rain so I no longer have the desire to go outside. Sigh. Eventually, I will get back to finishing up these encyclopedia articles...I only have until MONDAY!
That being said, I realized today that I need to get started on my teaching
Anyone seen any really good (or really bad) examples of teaching
Enough job stuff--my obssession with checking the ads daily is growing to twice a day. I haven't done any real work today. Registered for a conference that I can't afford to attend. But mostly, I've been monitoring the work of the men installing new windows into the house. They've been here ALL day, which means unfortunately, I've been stuck inside all day too. Of course, now that they are leaving, it's starting to rain so I no longer have the desire to go outside. Sigh. Eventually, I will get back to finishing up these encyclopedia articles...I only have until MONDAY!
Chapter One--OUT!!
Before I get to Chapter One, let me say that thanks to all of you annoying academics in the blogosphere, I now look at the Chronicle on a regular basis. I never thought I would be one of those people. As a matter of fact, I even took a seminar a couple semesters back on Higher Education--we were supposed to read the Chronicle every day. Key words here, supposed to--I rarely did. I could pretend that I'm just looking at the job ads, but alas, I'm starting to read the articles too.
So by now, all of you (self-proclaimed) nerds out there have read the adventures of Frodo Baggins, ABD. Well, today I was once again possessed by the precious ring. For the past 72 hours I've been obsessed with Chapter One. I could not/did not leave the house and rarely left my computer until it was done. I crashed and burned about 4+ hours after my last post, still with unfinished revisions and new ideas about the chapter in my head. So when I got up this morning, I ate and got back to it. I did a little BS'n of course--job market related--but mostly it was revision, revision, revision. I decided that rather than hold back, I would get it all out of my system. I knew that Chapter One was still on my desk, not because it was a bad draft or I was afraid to show it to anyone, but because there was simply more I wanted to do with it. So I did--even added some those cartoons I was thinking about. So here I am 24 hours after my deadline with a good, complete draft of Chapter One.
YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Man, accomplishment feels good. I know that my chairs will kindly shred it up and return it to me in little pieces, but it just feels good to feel like I've accomplished something in this process. Exactly one month after my proposal, one solid chapter draft. Given all of the moving and vacationing and other personal and biological issues, I feel really good about that. So excuse me while I momentarily abandon all of the humility I'm so well-known for. For the next few minutes, I'm all that and a bag of chips.
Ok, back to reality. I did my usual job surfing today. Quite a few new announcements came out, most of which were outside of my current geographic interests or outside of my research abilities. But today, I found the FIRST ad in my area of expertise at an institution I might actually enjoy teaching at. AND it sounds like that might be considering ABD candidates (Doesn't the line "PhD required by time of appointment" sound like ABD applicants won't be trashed immediately or am I reading that incorrectly????) So, yesterday I was leaning heavily towards postdocs or some other form of funding for my research for the 2006-2007 year, but now I'm back at seriously considering going right back into full-time teaching. I'm still so burnt out from teaching non-stop during my program that it's hard for me to judge how I'm going to feel about being in the classroom a year from now when I'm done with the dissertation (yes, I WILL be done--Frodo made it so can I). One thing I need to do is determine the teaching load at this particular institution. I do know that if I go back into the classroom next year, it needs to be gradual--jumping into 4 (even 3) sections of teaching would send me running for the hills, no the islands. {My best friend from high school wants me to move to the islands with him and of course today I happened to run across a Fulbright to his favorite island--St. Lucia. Sooo tempting.} I have just a few weeks to really decide what I'm going to do about this faculty job issue--the deadline for this institution is in just two months. I must figure out what I'm doing, very, very, soon....
Now that Chapter One is off to the bosses, it is time to get out these durn encyclopedia articles. Procrastination is a smurf! I'll get to them later today.
So by now, all of you (self-proclaimed) nerds out there have read the adventures of Frodo Baggins, ABD. Well, today I was once again possessed by the precious ring. For the past 72 hours I've been obsessed with Chapter One. I could not/did not leave the house and rarely left my computer until it was done. I crashed and burned about 4+ hours after my last post, still with unfinished revisions and new ideas about the chapter in my head. So when I got up this morning, I ate and got back to it. I did a little BS'n of course--job market related--but mostly it was revision, revision, revision. I decided that rather than hold back, I would get it all out of my system. I knew that Chapter One was still on my desk, not because it was a bad draft or I was afraid to show it to anyone, but because there was simply more I wanted to do with it. So I did--even added some those cartoons I was thinking about. So here I am 24 hours after my deadline with a good, complete draft of Chapter One.
YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Man, accomplishment feels good. I know that my chairs will kindly shred it up and return it to me in little pieces, but it just feels good to feel like I've accomplished something in this process. Exactly one month after my proposal, one solid chapter draft. Given all of the moving and vacationing and other personal and biological issues, I feel really good about that. So excuse me while I momentarily abandon all of the humility I'm so well-known for. For the next few minutes, I'm all that and a bag of chips.
Ok, back to reality. I did my usual job surfing today. Quite a few new announcements came out, most of which were outside of my current geographic interests or outside of my research abilities. But today, I found the FIRST ad in my area of expertise at an institution I might actually enjoy teaching at. AND it sounds like that might be considering ABD candidates (Doesn't the line "PhD required by time of appointment" sound like ABD applicants won't be trashed immediately or am I reading that incorrectly????) So, yesterday I was leaning heavily towards postdocs or some other form of funding for my research for the 2006-2007 year, but now I'm back at seriously considering going right back into full-time teaching. I'm still so burnt out from teaching non-stop during my program that it's hard for me to judge how I'm going to feel about being in the classroom a year from now when I'm done with the dissertation (yes, I WILL be done--Frodo made it so can I). One thing I need to do is determine the teaching load at this particular institution. I do know that if I go back into the classroom next year, it needs to be gradual--jumping into 4 (even 3) sections of teaching would send me running for the hills, no the islands. {My best friend from high school wants me to move to the islands with him and of course today I happened to run across a Fulbright to his favorite island--St. Lucia. Sooo tempting.} I have just a few weeks to really decide what I'm going to do about this faculty job issue--the deadline for this institution is in just two months. I must figure out what I'm doing, very, very, soon....
Now that Chapter One is off to the bosses, it is time to get out these durn encyclopedia articles. Procrastination is a smurf! I'll get to them later today.
Must Finish Revisions
Well, the 27th is over and I've officially missed my first self-imposed deadline. I've been going at these revisions all day and I'm still not done. I did sidetrack myself a little earlier today looking at the latest job positions and thinking about possible postdocs. Today I had my first real moment when I thought I might actually go on the job market in September. There is a posting for a position at a very nice Southeast University that I would love to teach at. But, the call is for a social scientist in an area about as far as you can get from what I do. So immediate excitement was followed by immediate disappointment. I really think I'm going to end up waiting until the next hiring season--probably would be in my best interest for completing the dissertation this year anyways.
But back to the introduction that will never end. I keep finding holes to patch in Chapter One, but it feels a great deal like attempting to patch up one of Lil Kim's outfits--you're going to use so much fabric, you might as well buy a new outfit. It almost feels like I should start over with a new chapter, but I know that would only frustrate me more. So I'm forcing myself to focus on just two things for the rest of the night--strong transitions and topic sentences. I am tempted to add some political cartoons I found of Condoleezza Rice that further illustrate my point, but of course, that is just adding more work to this durn chapter. I need to finish what I've started so that I can get this thing off of my desk and out of sight for a while. I'm hungry for feedback on my progress--I mainly want to know if what I'm writing even sounds like a dissertation. I am still having issues with VOICE; I'm not even sure if what I've written so far sounds like me. My gut reaction--it doesn't. I need to read what I've written so far out loud, but I'm too lazy at the moment. Tomorrow.
For now, I AM going to finish these revisions before the sun comes up.
But back to the introduction that will never end. I keep finding holes to patch in Chapter One, but it feels a great deal like attempting to patch up one of Lil Kim's outfits--you're going to use so much fabric, you might as well buy a new outfit. It almost feels like I should start over with a new chapter, but I know that would only frustrate me more. So I'm forcing myself to focus on just two things for the rest of the night--strong transitions and topic sentences. I am tempted to add some political cartoons I found of Condoleezza Rice that further illustrate my point, but of course, that is just adding more work to this durn chapter. I need to finish what I've started so that I can get this thing off of my desk and out of sight for a while. I'm hungry for feedback on my progress--I mainly want to know if what I'm writing even sounds like a dissertation. I am still having issues with VOICE; I'm not even sure if what I've written so far sounds like me. My gut reaction--it doesn't. I need to read what I've written so far out loud, but I'm too lazy at the moment. Tomorrow.
For now, I AM going to finish these revisions before the sun comes up.
Back In Town
Three of the longest days of my life. Driving all day Sunday. Cleaning, packing odds and ends, and running around College Town all day Monday. Driving again all day Tuesday and unloading and unpacking tonight.
I'm tired, but I'm finally really here. I can finally focus. Right?
One of my students from last spring left a letter in my campus box. He needs a letter of recommendation by July 15th. I don't mind writing his letter--he was a wonderful student. But one more thing to do.
And then there's those 3 encyclopedia articles due next week. And then there's that article of mine that needs to go off to a journal ASAP...
But first, tomorrow I am making every effort to finish Chapter One. I need to get something off of my plate. I have to load some stuff into the attic, but I WILL revise!!
I'm tired, but I'm finally really here. I can finally focus. Right?
One of my students from last spring left a letter in my campus box. He needs a letter of recommendation by July 15th. I don't mind writing his letter--he was a wonderful student. But one more thing to do.
And then there's those 3 encyclopedia articles due next week. And then there's that article of mine that needs to go off to a journal ASAP...
But first, tomorrow I am making every effort to finish Chapter One. I need to get something off of my plate. I have to load some stuff into the attic, but I WILL revise!!
Needs More Revision
I haven't met anyone who enjoys revisions so I'm sure it goes without saying but--I hate revising my work.
Chapter One revisions are not going well and the 27th deadline looms closer. Will she make her first deadline??? I feel like this sets the tone for the whole process--perhaps I am doing myself a disservice for thinking that way. After all, I did just get through all my PHD coursework and comps in two years--are a few more days of revisions going to kill me???
The revision process is lengthening because, as hoped, the time away from Chapter One attempting to write Chapter Two gave me some insight into the problems of Chapter One that I was struggling with. So I'm re-envisioning my perspective on the whole project already. Still using womanism--still talking about African-American women politicians--BUT--I'm realizing that the women that I've chosen to study are all troublemakers. And that's why I like them. So why not play up this angle--why not just say that this is a discussion of the rhetoric of the "scratchy tag"--individuals who serve as productive irritants in a system and a society that would seem to say non-White/non-male individuals don't belong. By speaking out despite their status at the margins, they are truly "acting womanish" in the African-American rhetorical sense of the term. So this also helps me further justify why I'm using womanism over black feminism; I am not just talking about epistemology or ideology--I'm talking about a particular attitude or behavior that I think womanism gets at a little more accurately. So my study will hopefully introduce one way of looking at political rhetoric through womanism, while also leaving space for future research that draws on additional definitions of womanist rhetorics.
The problem is that I'm going to lose some of the time I need to make these changes during this trip up to College Town tomorrow. I really wanted to hand in Chapter One physically, but an email will have to do for now.
Chapter One revisions are not going well and the 27th deadline looms closer. Will she make her first deadline??? I feel like this sets the tone for the whole process--perhaps I am doing myself a disservice for thinking that way. After all, I did just get through all my PHD coursework and comps in two years--are a few more days of revisions going to kill me???
The revision process is lengthening because, as hoped, the time away from Chapter One attempting to write Chapter Two gave me some insight into the problems of Chapter One that I was struggling with. So I'm re-envisioning my perspective on the whole project already. Still using womanism--still talking about African-American women politicians--BUT--I'm realizing that the women that I've chosen to study are all troublemakers. And that's why I like them. So why not play up this angle--why not just say that this is a discussion of the rhetoric of the "scratchy tag"--individuals who serve as productive irritants in a system and a society that would seem to say non-White/non-male individuals don't belong. By speaking out despite their status at the margins, they are truly "acting womanish" in the African-American rhetorical sense of the term. So this also helps me further justify why I'm using womanism over black feminism; I am not just talking about epistemology or ideology--I'm talking about a particular attitude or behavior that I think womanism gets at a little more accurately. So my study will hopefully introduce one way of looking at political rhetoric through womanism, while also leaving space for future research that draws on additional definitions of womanist rhetorics.
The problem is that I'm going to lose some of the time I need to make these changes during this trip up to College Town tomorrow. I really wanted to hand in Chapter One physically, but an email will have to do for now.
Saturday's Goal: Revise Ch. 1
Somehow, I did manage to get some work done yesterday. After much much delay, I finally got to work on that first big section of Chapter Two. There is still lots to be done, but it felt good to get back in the groove of writing. How did I get out of the slump you ask? My best friend. She called and reminded me that we were supposed to hang on Friday night--but only if I got some work done. Sometimes simple external motivation is all it takes. It was my first time "going out" down here in years--but that's another story for another blog.
Today, I am going to get to work polishing up Chapter One so I can turn it in by the 27th. I'll be in PA again for a few days so I'll get to physically turn in my first chapter! (Doesn't printing it out and dropping it off feel better than email? Maybe that's just me.)
Off to work. In the meantime, visit CLASSICS etc.: The Seven Dwarves for a cute analogy to what it means to be a grad student. I'm going to start using this to explain to folks down here what it feels like to be a PhD student.
Today, I am going to get to work polishing up Chapter One so I can turn it in by the 27th. I'll be in PA again for a few days so I'll get to physically turn in my first chapter! (Doesn't printing it out and dropping it off feel better than email? Maybe that's just me.)
Off to work. In the meantime, visit CLASSICS etc.: The Seven Dwarves for a cute analogy to what it means to be a grad student. I'm going to start using this to explain to folks down here what it feels like to be a PhD student.
Hooked Up, Proper
**We interrupt any possibility of being productive today to announce that Mon finally has hi-speed.**
One of the interesting aspects of the move was that I had to deal with dial-up for a while. Imagine, trying to read .pdf articles--it was a rough couple weeks. But no more!! The good people at the Local Cable/Media Giant came by today and hooked me up proper. This is such a wonder addition to my otherwise dial-up life.
I will attempt to go back to work now, but I make no promises. Even my aging computer seems to have a little more pep in its step today with the new addition. So the chances for play are near 100%. . . . Next addition--laser printer--coming next week or so--stay tuned.
One of the interesting aspects of the move was that I had to deal with dial-up for a while. Imagine, trying to read .pdf articles--it was a rough couple weeks. But no more!! The good people at the Local Cable/Media Giant came by today and hooked me up proper. This is such a wonder addition to my otherwise dial-up life.
I will attempt to go back to work now, but I make no promises. Even my aging computer seems to have a little more pep in its step today with the new addition. So the chances for play are near 100%. . . . Next addition--laser printer--coming next week or so--stay tuned.
Are We Writing Yet??
Wednesday was a total loss--Sick Day #1 of the dissertation process. Spent the entire day in bed.
Seeing that Thursday is now over, I guess you would say that today was a loss too. I spent most of the day in the car with no AC on in 97 degree heat. Needless to say, I felt a little drained by the time I finally made it home. Only redeeming value of the day, I did have some time to read. Great new book if you're interested in race, class, and gender issues: Calling Cards: Theory and Practice in the Study of Race, Gender, and Culture (edited by Jacqueline Jones Royster and Ann Marie Mann Simpkins). I have not gone through all of the essays yet, but I'm enjoying it so far. I wish I was as articulate as Royster in expressing why it is so important to do scholarly work on race and gender.
I need to get some work done. Chapter two is calling--again...
Seeing that Thursday is now over, I guess you would say that today was a loss too. I spent most of the day in the car with no AC on in 97 degree heat. Needless to say, I felt a little drained by the time I finally made it home. Only redeeming value of the day, I did have some time to read. Great new book if you're interested in race, class, and gender issues: Calling Cards: Theory and Practice in the Study of Race, Gender, and Culture (edited by Jacqueline Jones Royster and Ann Marie Mann Simpkins). I have not gone through all of the essays yet, but I'm enjoying it so far. I wish I was as articulate as Royster in expressing why it is so important to do scholarly work on race and gender.
I need to get some work done. Chapter two is calling--again...
Chapter 2--No Pages!!
Try as I might, I have no new pages to show for Chapter Two today. I'm incredibly disappointed. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I thought that it would be fun and exciting work to get back to 19th century rhetorics. And it may have been--had I not found a million other things to do today. I was very distracted by the idea of my future employment today. I've been talking to friends and family a lot about life after the dissertation, and I think these recent conversations sent me looking at the job postings that are out so far in my field. It's been difficult trying to explain to folks that I can't just apply for a job whenever--I can't upload a resume and a one paragraph cover letter to Monster.com and call it a day. There is this small window of a hiring season that I have to work with, job ads for things that I don't do in my field that I have to weed through. But after looking around the web today, I realized that there are some deadlines for positions in other fields that I'm interested in that are quite a bit earlier than the normal dates in my field. I have some huge decisions to make about going on the market, and unfortunately, I need to hurry this decision-making process.
Today was also one of those days where I just didn't want to be in the house on a computer. Now there was really no reason to be outside--the heat index was a MUGGY 100 degrees. Not really what I would call good outdoors weather. You work up a sweat walking from the front door to the car. I did make a valiant effort--took the laptop out to my favorite corporate bookstore spot and everything. But for the first time in the years I've been going there, there were a good three million people in the bookstore. Not a seat/bench/couch free in the house. I think either everybody had the same idea or there are a lot of broken air conditioners in the area because of the recent storms. I don't know, but I'd honestly never seen this many people there. So from there the day just went downhill--I ran around town for most of it--writing nothing. I started to work this evening, made some additions to Chapter One, but of course it started thundering and lightning again and the power starts flickering. Good reason to shut things down.
So I'm still up; I could write now. I've outlined the areas that I want to cover in the first section--but that's about as much as I'll probably do tonight. Another honest stab at it tomorrow.
Today was also one of those days where I just didn't want to be in the house on a computer. Now there was really no reason to be outside--the heat index was a MUGGY 100 degrees. Not really what I would call good outdoors weather. You work up a sweat walking from the front door to the car. I did make a valiant effort--took the laptop out to my favorite corporate bookstore spot and everything. But for the first time in the years I've been going there, there were a good three million people in the bookstore. Not a seat/bench/couch free in the house. I think either everybody had the same idea or there are a lot of broken air conditioners in the area because of the recent storms. I don't know, but I'd honestly never seen this many people there. So from there the day just went downhill--I ran around town for most of it--writing nothing. I started to work this evening, made some additions to Chapter One, but of course it started thundering and lightning again and the power starts flickering. Good reason to shut things down.
So I'm still up; I could write now. I've outlined the areas that I want to cover in the first section--but that's about as much as I'll probably do tonight. Another honest stab at it tomorrow.
Putting Down Chapter One
Well, I got the introduction out of my system, for the most part. It's now one good revision away from going off to my chairs. On track to send it off by my 27th deadline--YEAH!! Need to step away from it for a couple days though so I'm off to work on Chapter Two.
I'm tired, but must get-it-done. The opening paragraphs to Chapter 2 are drafted. I woudl still like to find some type of a quote or anecdote to open the chapter. The purpose of the chapter is to give a survey of Black women's political rhetorics; the chapter does similar work to the introduction of another one of my favorite books--Shirley Logan's We Are Coming. My goal is to give an overview of the history, developments, and growing diversity of Black women's political expressions. Since my study is going to focus so narrowly on formal, elected politics, I think it is important to show that there is a diversity of political expressions by Black women that extend far beyond electoral politics and goes back much farther than the Voting Rights Act/civil rights movement. Sometimes when I read the literature, scholars paint this picture that Black people did not become politically active until the 1960s. So I want it to be clear in my work through this chapter that by no means did Black women's politics begin with Shirley Chisholm.
Chapter two will have four major sections. Tomorrow, I will tackle the first section, which gives an overview of Black women's rhetorics prior to emancipation. Since nineteenth-century rhetorics were my area of study for my MA, it will be fun to get back to writing about my first love.
I'm tired, but must get-it-done. The opening paragraphs to Chapter 2 are drafted. I woudl still like to find some type of a quote or anecdote to open the chapter. The purpose of the chapter is to give a survey of Black women's political rhetorics; the chapter does similar work to the introduction of another one of my favorite books--Shirley Logan's We Are Coming. My goal is to give an overview of the history, developments, and growing diversity of Black women's political expressions. Since my study is going to focus so narrowly on formal, elected politics, I think it is important to show that there is a diversity of political expressions by Black women that extend far beyond electoral politics and goes back much farther than the Voting Rights Act/civil rights movement. Sometimes when I read the literature, scholars paint this picture that Black people did not become politically active until the 1960s. So I want it to be clear in my work through this chapter that by no means did Black women's politics begin with Shirley Chisholm.
Chapter two will have four major sections. Tomorrow, I will tackle the first section, which gives an overview of Black women's rhetorics prior to emancipation. Since nineteenth-century rhetorics were my area of study for my MA, it will be fun to get back to writing about my first love.
Sundays Will Be Optional
I'm writing tonight, but in the future I think that Sundays will be my day off from writing. All my life, Sundays have been the day for family and looong naps--why break the tradition. So if I feel like writing on Sundays I will, but no pressure from now on unless there is some big deadline lingering. Tonight, I felt like writing and I need to keep moving on Chapter One. I've gotten down the womanism section, but I think I am going to go back tomorrow and add another paragraph on why I'm choosing to use womanism instead of Black feminism. It's one of those annoying scholarly debates that I was trying to avoid (because in reality I'm using both), but I know I will have readers with various commitments to the terms so I should address this more. Currently, I have about a sentence on it, and that's just not good enough.
I'll probably stay up another hour or two, and do some more hammering on this literature/scholarly conversation stuff. But Chapter One is actually shaping up. I will be doing more work on it tomorrow that I originally planned (more literature and adding a section on defining my terms--especially politics, rhetoric, rhetorical criticism--that's going to be a pain). Hopefully, by the end of the day tomorrow, I'll have the full draft done and can begin revising it and working on Chapter Two Tuesday.
Chapter Two is going to be a lot more fun--harder, but a lot more fun--I've been itching to get back to work on it. I've intentionally set to work on both because Chapter Two is also an introduction; it introduces the particular rhetorical history of Black American women in US politics. I designed this study to be as ambitious and as feasible as possible, and every time I write the terms Black women in politics, I realize how huge the project could become. Politics reach far, far beyond just electoral politics and I cringe to talk about Black women only in the US. I know that I have to limit the scope of my study so I can actually graduate and get this degree while I'm still sane and young enough to not mind being poor. But it's hard when there is just sooooo much I want to write about, and that is going to be a huge struggle with Chapter Two. I am going to have to work really hard to make sure I don't go beyond the essential points in outlining the rhetorical history of African-American women in politics.
But let me get back to Chapter One for now...
I'll probably stay up another hour or two, and do some more hammering on this literature/scholarly conversation stuff. But Chapter One is actually shaping up. I will be doing more work on it tomorrow that I originally planned (more literature and adding a section on defining my terms--especially politics, rhetoric, rhetorical criticism--that's going to be a pain). Hopefully, by the end of the day tomorrow, I'll have the full draft done and can begin revising it and working on Chapter Two Tuesday.
Chapter Two is going to be a lot more fun--harder, but a lot more fun--I've been itching to get back to work on it. I've intentionally set to work on both because Chapter Two is also an introduction; it introduces the particular rhetorical history of Black American women in US politics. I designed this study to be as ambitious and as feasible as possible, and every time I write the terms Black women in politics, I realize how huge the project could become. Politics reach far, far beyond just electoral politics and I cringe to talk about Black women only in the US. I know that I have to limit the scope of my study so I can actually graduate and get this degree while I'm still sane and young enough to not mind being poor. But it's hard when there is just sooooo much I want to write about, and that is going to be a huge struggle with Chapter Two. I am going to have to work really hard to make sure I don't go beyond the essential points in outlining the rhetorical history of African-American women in politics.
But let me get back to Chapter One for now...
Chapter One Moving Along...Slowly
Yesterday, I did finish what I had planned for Friday's goals. I was up until the wee hours of the morning, but I was feeling movtivated so I worked on my biography projects as well.
I haven't been able to kick my late night writing habits. Throughout grad school I did most of my writing between the hours of midnight and 4am. I've been trying to change that and get into a more "normal" routine. But I've noticed myself writing later and later this week. Perhaps I shouldn't resist. Perhaps I should keep my old night creature habits. My concern is that I will run around all day, thinking that I will just "write later," and after a full day I won't feel like writing. Since most everyone I know is at work during the day, it seems more sensible to write during the day and have the evenings to spend with friends and family. But my thoughts don't really get moving until, oh around now. We'll see--Monday starts the "serious" writing routine. I'm going to give it a few weeks. If writing during the day just doesn't work, it's back to my nocturnal hours.
I've been mulling most of the afternoon (while doing laundry and rearranging the furniture in my room) over the order of chapters. For now, I'm thinking boring ol' chronological order. I've been very resistant to it, but I'm going to go ahead and pretend that the chapters will appear that way for the sake of getting this introduction drafted. I know they won't actually be written in that order, but I'll go with it for now (disrupt it later). So in a few moments, one of my goals for today will be done, just as soon as I finish typing these chapter summaries.
As for the literature...sigh. I'm going to try to line up my literature reviews for the introduction as well, but I really don't feel like it tonight. I may work on the womanism part and save the scholarly conversation for tomorrow evening.
I haven't been able to kick my late night writing habits. Throughout grad school I did most of my writing between the hours of midnight and 4am. I've been trying to change that and get into a more "normal" routine. But I've noticed myself writing later and later this week. Perhaps I shouldn't resist. Perhaps I should keep my old night creature habits. My concern is that I will run around all day, thinking that I will just "write later," and after a full day I won't feel like writing. Since most everyone I know is at work during the day, it seems more sensible to write during the day and have the evenings to spend with friends and family. But my thoughts don't really get moving until, oh around now. We'll see--Monday starts the "serious" writing routine. I'm going to give it a few weeks. If writing during the day just doesn't work, it's back to my nocturnal hours.
I've been mulling most of the afternoon (while doing laundry and rearranging the furniture in my room) over the order of chapters. For now, I'm thinking boring ol' chronological order. I've been very resistant to it, but I'm going to go ahead and pretend that the chapters will appear that way for the sake of getting this introduction drafted. I know they won't actually be written in that order, but I'll go with it for now (disrupt it later). So in a few moments, one of my goals for today will be done, just as soon as I finish typing these chapter summaries.
As for the literature...sigh. I'm going to try to line up my literature reviews for the introduction as well, but I really don't feel like it tonight. I may work on the womanism part and save the scholarly conversation for tomorrow evening.
Friday Goals: 1.5 out of 3 so far
I'm just getting in from a four hour lunch, so needless to say, I didn't get everything done that I was supposed to today. Fortunately, the day is not over--back to work for me. But rather than being too hard on myself, I thought I'd write for a moment on my progress to get me going for the work I have left for the evening.
This morning, I went through my books at home and settled on four that I'm going to use as models for Chapter One--
This morning, I went through my books at home and settled on four that I'm going to use as models for Chapter One--
- Cheryl Glenn, Rhetoric Retold: Regendering the Tradition from Antiquity Through the Renaissance
- Roxanne Mountford, The Gendered Pulpit: Preaching in American Protestant Spaces
- Patrick Rael, Black Identity and Black Protest in the Antebellum North
- Susan Zaeske, Signatures of Citizenship: Petitioning, Antislavery, and Women's Political Identity
One thing stood out as I was going through all of my books--length. Published book introductions are a lot shorter (on average) than I was thinking in my mind. I know that a dissertation has different goals, and therefore its chapters take different forms than published books. But since one of my goals is getting this work published as a book, I'm trying to make sure this work conforms to publishable standards as much as possible now. So it's probably not the best thing that I've taken four models, but I didn't find just one that did everything I had in mind. Glenn's opening is fantastic for blending scholarly literature--she gives you a literature review that fixes her work within a larger conversation. But she does so without making you feel like you're reading a literature review. Mountford's voice is so striking to me--she openly discusses her investment in the work and the emotional connection that she has with the project. Her book has been one of my favorites since I read it last year. Zaeske and Rael are both efficient models in the practical details of an introduction. Zaeske provides a good model for previewing the layout of the study. Rael adeptly summarizes his arguments and most importantly for me, lays out what his study does not do. I'm interested in the way that he clearly demarcates his territory; this is what my study contributes to, this is what it can't do at this point. I think this is important when you are doing work that opens a new door in a discipline--sometimes I feel like there are those readers who are expecting me to do EVERYTHING at once. Since no one in political comm talks about Black women, I feel some pressure to write THE book on Black women when truly this is only an opening to what I hope will be an ongoing conversation.
Goal 1--Check.
Goal 2--Pulling out the gems from my dissertation proposal. I'm about half way through that process. Hope to finish that in the next couple hours.
Goal 3--Dr. Rice--progress today, zero.
Rael does a great job of opening Black Identity with a fable that becomes an analogy for the subject of his work. He creates five meaty paragraphs that tell the story and make the connection to his work. From there he can quickly go into "This book examines..." I'm trying not to edit myself too much at this stage, but I think I'm going too far into the Rice aspect--I should keep it to an opening episode and get to the work of the introduction.
Back to work...
Thursday--Progress
Today was a decent day of progress. I finished a complete draft for the biography I was having the hardest time with, Lelia Smith-Foley-Davis. That in and of itself should be enough for one day, but since that is not technically dissertation work (although she will appear in Chapter Two), I didn't really feel I had accomplished anything until I wrote on Dr. Rice. So I did get out a couple pages on Condoleezza; they are decent pages so I won't fuss with them too much right now. I just needed to get going.
Goal for the weekend: To have Chapter One completely sketched out by Monday. Normally, I don't write this linearly--it would be more my speed to start in the middle and work my way back. But this time, I want to make sure the skeleton is in the works early on. I already know that Chapter One is going to have a HUGE hole in it, methodology, but the parts that I do know (literature, Rice, womanist perspective) I want to get down on paper. That way I can add to it, tweak it, and fill in the holes more easily as I go along. Oh and there is that deadline of July 27th that I gave myself to get Chapter One circulating...
Plan for the Weekend to Meet Goal Without Losing Sanity:
Friday:
Goal for the weekend: To have Chapter One completely sketched out by Monday. Normally, I don't write this linearly--it would be more my speed to start in the middle and work my way back. But this time, I want to make sure the skeleton is in the works early on. I already know that Chapter One is going to have a HUGE hole in it, methodology, but the parts that I do know (literature, Rice, womanist perspective) I want to get down on paper. That way I can add to it, tweak it, and fill in the holes more easily as I go along. Oh and there is that deadline of July 27th that I gave myself to get Chapter One circulating...
Plan for the Weekend to Meet Goal Without Losing Sanity:
Friday:
- Look at a few of my favorite book introductions to get an idea of what elements I should include in Chapter One. I've already identified a few books that have introductions that read more like my Chapter Two, so mental note, don't get distracted by Chapter Two.
- Pull out the parts of my dissertation proposal that I'm actually going to use/expand on (Definition of Topic, Contributions of Study, Relevant Scholarly Conversation).
- Continue writing on Condoleezza Rice.
Saturday:
- Develop the literature review aspects of Chapter One. Clearly identify the bodies of literature that I'm contributing to/responding to. This will primarily involve further expansion on the dissertation proposal.
- Commit to paper a possible order of the remaining chapters, even knowing that it will likely change again. The order of my content chapters on the individual case studies changes from week to week, but based on the feedback of my committee, I need to start thinking more critically about how these cases might best blend together.
- If not exhausted and still needed, keep working on Condoleezza Rice.
Sunday:
- Deal with the methodology hole. Write about Womanism/Black Feminism as Methodological Perspective.
- Look at how other rhetorical scholars talk about their methodology for doing textual analysis work.
- Also look at feminist methodologies and write into Chapter One the intrinsic motivations for doing this work as well as the extrinsic. I want to be very honest in this study about my position as a young Black woman and what perspective that brings to the project.
- Is that Rice part finished yet??
Monday:
- Review what I've accomplished--set new goals as needed.
- Read for my VOICE.
I've always received compliments on my "voice" when it comes to writing. Faculty and peers generally enjoy reading my work, but the longer I've been in grad school, the more I feel like I don't have a voice. To some extent, I have lost that sense of knowing what makes my writing mine. I don't even have a style anymore--I've created this crazy collage of MLA and Chicago in recent months (I need to stop!) I know part of it is just fatigue--my writing has become very lazy (by my standards), but again, I think that is due to being out of a serious routine. There are serious downsides to finishing graduate coursework--one of the major ones being that there is no threat of looming seminar papers to keep you writing. And when you've been writing papers every year of your life, any respite from that work is much needed. So really, since December, I've been on a serious writing hiatus. While I was studying for comps, almost all of my writing involved texts on my reading lists--taking notes, summarizing arguments, playing texts against each other--but I wouldn't call that "writing." The whole comps study process for me was more like...typing, lots of typing. I did some work on revising papers and what not, but it wasn't a regular routine. I will say that when I sat for my comps and produced my answers, the feedback that I received from my committee was that my writing was very good. My advisor felt that I was really coming into my "voice," and gaining more confidence as a writier. But I just don't see/hear it right now...
Self diagnosis: Writer's laryngitis brought on by inactivity.
Prescription: Write more.
Major Cleaning, Major Thinking, Minor Writing
The house is quickly starting to look normal. I finally made some space for myself in the office so I'll start work in there tomorrow. I still don't have any "real" internet service, so I need to get that going tomorrow as well. Everything major (i.e. clothes) is unpacked, but there are still some office related boxes in the trunk of my car that I need to take care of. Other than that, I did get a lot of unpacking and organizing done today. So in that regard, I feel like the day was productive.
On the other hand, my time for stalling on writing and thinking is running out. I did some good reading today in an old favorite (Patricia Hill Collins Black Feminist Thought), and tomorrow I will do some writing on that Condoleezza Rice introduction. BUT, it will have to wait until I take my grandmother downtown to pay some bills. Unfortunately, I have not established my "office hours" so the fam is still treating me like I'm home on vacation. But starting on Monday, there will be no phone calls, no errand running, no "let's go hang out" until my writing is done for the day. I will be holding a press conference after church on Sunday to make sure the family is on the same page. In all seriousness, I'm looking forward to getting back to a steady writing routine, and of course I'll blog my successes and FAILURES.
For now, I'm going to do a little writing on those 3 biographies I have to finish, and then call it a night. I know Grandma will be calling me bright and early in the morning....
On the other hand, my time for stalling on writing and thinking is running out. I did some good reading today in an old favorite (Patricia Hill Collins Black Feminist Thought), and tomorrow I will do some writing on that Condoleezza Rice introduction. BUT, it will have to wait until I take my grandmother downtown to pay some bills. Unfortunately, I have not established my "office hours" so the fam is still treating me like I'm home on vacation. But starting on Monday, there will be no phone calls, no errand running, no "let's go hang out" until my writing is done for the day. I will be holding a press conference after church on Sunday to make sure the family is on the same page. In all seriousness, I'm looking forward to getting back to a steady writing routine, and of course I'll blog my successes and FAILURES.
For now, I'm going to do a little writing on those 3 biographies I have to finish, and then call it a night. I know Grandma will be calling me bright and early in the morning....
I Should Write
All day today I told myself, I should write, but I never got around to it. I thought about doing some writing now, but a good friend just told me to get some sleep. I think I'm going to do that. Tomorrow is a new day, but I probably won't do any writing. There is just too much junk that needs to be unpacked and put away. My desk is buried behind a pile of stuff so I really need to finish this work of clearing out a space for writing. I really don't think well in clutter--I'm very "Feng Shui" about my writing space. There is also a little junk in my head that needs to be unpacked right now. I pushed it aside while I was on vacation, but I need to deal with it. It's slowly working itself out, and hopefully it won't take up too much more of my week....
Back on Land
After an exciting week of cruising and hurricaine dodging, I'm finally back on solid ground. I had an absolutely FANTASTIC week--even in spite of the weather. Our captain was a nautical genius!! He moved us around the storm on calm waters--unlike another cruise line that sailed out with us--they had rocky waters during the storm and all of the passengers were locked in their rooms for 6 hours!! We truly had smooth sailing and I'm incredibly glad I took this vacation for myself. I am feeling relaxed and refreshed!! My best friend and I are already planning our next cruise. My goal is to be cruising again next May or June (assuming I can find a way to make some more $$$ outside of my funding), and hopefully that will be my present to myself for completing the diss and possibly graduating (I hope to graduate in May, but August is probably more realistic because of the graduate school defense deadlines being so early).
At any rate, we are relaxing in Florida tonight and then we will hit the road some time tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to being home and unpacking, BUT my attitude towards everything is so different and positive right now. I feel a lot less stressed about going into this new transition and writing the diss. I know it's going to be hard, but I feel like I can make it!!
Regular dissertation blogging will commence Tuesday....Cruise pictures to come soon!
At any rate, we are relaxing in Florida tonight and then we will hit the road some time tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to being home and unpacking, BUT my attitude towards everything is so different and positive right now. I feel a lot less stressed about going into this new transition and writing the diss. I know it's going to be hard, but I feel like I can make it!!
Regular dissertation blogging will commence Tuesday....Cruise pictures to come soon!
And Then This Hurricane....
So I'm out on the high seas and there is this storm brewing in the ocean right behind me. Sigh. The weather onboard ship has been nice. Yesterday we were in Jamaica--it was a little cloudy and very hot, but no rain. Once we returned to the ship, they announced that they were going to cancel our next two stops--Grand Cayman and Cozumel--and head instead for Nassau, Bahamas. We'll be at sea for today and tomorrow and in the Bahamas on Saturday. My best friend and I are bummed because we knew this was the season for storms, but everyone was said it was too early in the season for a serious storm. Obviously, these people don't know what kind of luck I have. But, still having a great time--off to get more delicious food...
First Day at Sea
So far, I'm having a WONDERFUL time at sea. I think I'm going to be a cruise addict. The ship is absolutely beautiful and there is just too much to do. Last night we had a fabulous dinner--the food and the service was incredible. The dining room was so elegant--it looked like something you would see in a movie. Unfornately, I didn't have time to get a digital camera before I left so I'll have to post pictures when I get back. I'm definitely going to be a few pounds heavier when I get back home--there is just so much good food!! I'm on my way to eat again now. We are on the sea all day today. It's really weird because I can feel the boat moving ever so slightly when I'm very still--but it doesn't bother me (thank goodness!!). I'm looking forward to another day of fun--might go ice skating today....
Hope you're having a good holiday!!
Hope you're having a good holiday!!
Florida is Beautiful!!
After a rainy day on the road yesterday, we were a little worried about the start of vacation. BUT. This morning, it is sunny and gorgeous!! On to the big boat!!!!
24 Hours In A Day...
...And today I thought it would be fun to use all of them! It's official, I've been up all day. I got up early this time yesterday to make the big trip South. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I made the 10.5 hour drive, got most of my last minute shopping done, had my hair braided, and managed to unpack about half of my car as well as repack for the trip. Gracious. Later today, we'll be headed down to Florida to go on my first ever CRUISE. I should be asleep, but after a stressful week and a hectic day, I'm getting really excited now that everything is finally coming together. The drive down was good (STEAMY HOT, but good) because it gave me a lot of time to think and to come to the conclusion that I need to stop thinking so much and just go on vacation. I realized that if I'm not careful, I going to take my post-proposal meeting anxiety/life transitioning stress with me on vacation. I also realized that my last real break was last summer so I'm definitely due for this. I am too excited for words. Any and everything stressful will be left here with the rest of the stuff that needs to be unpacked from my apartment!!
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