The Whirlwind

So of course, the past two days have been extremely busy. Long drive back to Southern State. Lots of phone calls and emails to let friends and family know that Mon's lifetime of being in school is finally over. But in all the business I have experienced the most amazing sense of peace, relief, and serenity. I am actually not a student anymore. Wow.

Since Friday, I've logged close to 1500 miles in an ugly box, hit two birds (literally), seen employees fight at a Famous Fast Food Chain, had some wonderful meals with Dr. J, read some wonderfully encouraging notes from new folks and old friends in my bloggy fam, seen MI3, and, oh yeah, become a PhD.

I am yet to give anyone the entire play-by-play of the weekend, and most particularly the defense, because I think I'm still trying to digest everything that happened. Before the defense, Monday morning, I was just ready to get it over with. I was praying and go over every possible problem area and question in my head. Dr. J and I putzed around the computer lab to kill time (little did I know he was being all sweet on my blog) and then I went upstairs to the defense. Alone. In my department, the defense is held in a tiny conference room--not conducive for an audience--and although the graduate school rules indicate defenses are open to the public--they are not really public events in my department. So it was just me and my four committee members (CoChair #1, CoChair #2, Major Field Expert, Outside Member). As soon as everyone was assembled, they kicked me out of the room so they could talk about me (and I assume to make sure they were all on the same page). So I waited around for about 5-10 minutes. Then I was invited back in and asked if I would like to begin with an opening statement. So I spent maybe 10 minutes going over the project: the motivations for writing on this subject, the connections that emerged, one area/issue that I wasn't completely satisfied with, and my plans for future publications out of this project. Then the questions began.

For whatever reason, everyone deferred to Major Field Expert, who went first and asked the most questions. I was concerned about how he would received the more innovative parts of the project. Overall, his questions indicated that he bought my argument that there is a tradition of Black women communicating in politics in a particular way, but he seemed most curious to know if there were vary degrees within this tradition and if there were consequences for those were too radical/controversial within this tradition. He (and everyone) indicated that there were some typos and formatting issues in the diss, but that overall it was pretty clean. Major Field Expert asked me a few specific questions about choices I made for subject selection in the text and urged me to be more explicit about those choices in future work. But in all honestly, Major Field Expert did most of the talking--he and the CoChairs went off on several tangents about the project and I just let them talk. At one point though, it was so bad that Outside Member jumped in to say "you know, I'd really like to hear what Mon has to add to this discussion." Too funny.

Outside Member, one of the sharpest scholars I've read in rhetorical studies, picked up the questioning once the Expert had run through his pages of notes. Outside Member was both critical and complimentary. She said that the work wasn't perfect--particularly in terms of method and analysis--but it was pretty darn close to perfect. She really like the illustrations I used in the work and as my focus was not on the visual, she encouraged me to consider an article publication just treating the visual images. Her questions were all geared towards things outside of the diss, such as my general thoughts on why Black women were outpacing Black men/White women in obtaining political offices and how I felt about taking a job in the South (a question similar to one nubian asked me a while back so I was glad that was still fresh on my mind).

Major Field Expert and Outside Member took up most of the questioning time with the CoChairs interjecting some thoughts/questions as they went along. CoChair #1 went next and raised three questions that had not been previously touched on--again pertaining to possible future subjects and the applicability of my "theory" to other politicians that are not Black women. That was an important issue that never really got addressed as some of the other members started jumping in and turned the question into a comment. I wasn't expected to answer the question so I didn't. And that was a great thing because I really disagree with the idea of turning what I'm talking about into some cookie cutter theory. Once CoChair #1 was done, CoChair #2 noted that I had met the challenge of her revision requests, noted that she really liked the preface, and she only asked one question! She was actually unusually quiet (my mother's "theory" is that she didn't even read the whole thing) during the whole matter, but I was glad that for whatever reason she decided not to push anymore. And after her one question, she asked me to leave the room.

As soon as I stepped outside, I called Dr. J; he came upstairs and waited with me. We hugged and he asked me how it went and we just waited. Then I heard CoChair #2 come out of the room. She walked up to me--took my hand--gave me a hug and said, "Congratulations Dr. Mon." I was just giddy. As she hugged me, she whispered in my ear that I had received the highest ratings!! She pulled me back in the room and shut the door (to Dr. J's dismay because he really wanted to take some pictures). Then everyone took turns saying congratulations and they all signed the needed forms for the graduate school. Major Field Expert reluctantly returned his copy of the diss to me so that I could note the places where he found typos--I had to swear to return a copy to him. He said his quick congrats and left. Outside Member and CoChair #1 had a sheet of notations typed of indicating some of the typos they found. Outside Member left next and said some really nice things to me on her way out. Then CoChair #1 and I hugged--she's been through both my MA/PhD journeys so we both had a sigh of relief. CoChair #2 tugged me along to handle some more paperwork issues (the secretary was a lil astonished when she saw my high marks--said she didn't see that very often), and she gave me the notes she took during the meeting (no typo/writing stuff though--further evidence for my mother's "theory"). As we were waiting on the department chair, CoChair #2 indicated that she wanted to nominate the diss for an award in one of our National Conferences before we hugged again and said our goodbyes.

In the meantime, Dr. J is waiting nearby trying to reach my mother who was NOT answering her phone. When I finally got through with the paperwork stuff, I just hugged him and we smiled and smiled and smiled like two clowns. I couldn't believe it was over--I mean really over. They asked that I just go through and clean up any typos/formatting stuff, but no major revision requests!!

By the time I got to CoChair #1's office, Dr. J got my mother on the phone and she screamed and shouted like she was doing the Holy Ghost dance. Her excitement really made me feel good and helped it all sink in. We had a great little conversation and then I put her on duty to call everyone we knew. (Mom did a great job with that). CoChair #1 took Dr. J and I out for a nice lunch at one of our favorite places--probably because it was the first place we went to when I moved to College Town. The whole time they were chattin up a storm while I was just floating--just happy to be done. After lunch, Dr. J and I went to see Mission Impossible III with a friend from Southern State who is in another department. It was great to just be out and to do "normal" things without thinking about the diss.

So since then, I've just been running around--trying to get back home without killing anymore birds on the road--and trying to make sure I've told everybody who needs to know. (Still have a few more emails to send out). My mother wanted to know every detail so we spent a lot of time talking last night and her one question she kept asking over and over again was:

Well, how does it feel? The answer is that it really doesn't feel like I'm a doctor. I didn't get all the warm and fuzzy feelings out of my defense that I had hoped for, but it was a good conversation and a much more positive experience than I could have imagined. But it feels GREAT to be done. For the first time since I was 3, I don't have to be a student anymore. Ever. And having a job for August is just the icing on the cake. I have just been so blessed and I am so thankful that this phase of my life has been completed.

I still have a lot more debriefing to do--about the defense--about the job--about the dissertation--about the future. But my head is still spinning a little. When both of my feet are on the ground, I'll get back to writing regularly and (more importantly) changing the look of the blog. For now, I'm off to make a quick trip to see my proud Granny!!