On the Brink

It occurs to me suddenly.

I think I'm on the edge of losing my mind.

Maybe it is because my work day got off to a bad start. The seemingly simple task of inserting a preface into this beast resulted in all types of formatting and file organization issues. Because the thesis formatting program does not have a preface or Chapter Zero setting, the preface is now considered by the program to be Chapter One. Fine--except that it totally screws up the numbering of all of my figures and tables. So now, for example, the first figure in the real Chapter One is actually numbered Figure 2-1. Now common sense would say, well Mon, just go type over the figure numbers, but guess what, every time I save/update the file and the table of contents, they switch back. So I have to go back and reinsert them into the program by order of appearance rather than by chapter. Sigh. Fortunately, there are not that many, but at some point tonight when I'm less aggravated, I have to go back and take out all the graphics and put them back in for the program to work with me rather than against me.

The more and more I read through these revisions--the more and more I consider the work I have to pull off in the next week--the closer I feel to the brink of insanity. The usual remedies are in place, prayer, talking to Dr. J, eating, slowing down, breathing, taking one piece at a time. So I'm still moving forward. But it is disconcerting to know that if I push too hard right now, I might, quite simply, lose it.