P.P. #2: Dean and Martin
Our meeting did not disappoint. I met with Dean only because Martin's wife just had a new baby (of course he has already posted photos on their site). He's young and fresh and everything about their new studio is contemporary and modern. They take classic pictures but also have a youthful edge that I love. Dean at least seems like someone who I could have gone to school with--just about my age, very down to earth, and very intuitive. It almost seemed more like he was interviewing me to see if we would be a good fit--which I loved. Dean and I probably chatted for close to an hour, and he gave me some wonderful advice on things to look for and how to make things like family pictures go as quickly as possible on the big day. There was music playing overhead when I came in and he asked me what my favorite album was. He ran upstairs for a minute and the next thing I know, it is playing overhead. So I've indoctrinated someone else to Kindred the Family Soul, and he loves it!
Pros: Young. Fresh. Very skilled. Laid back and comfortable--I feel like we would enjoy having them as a part of our day. Sensitive--I felt that he conveyed on a number of occasions that he was understanding of where we are in the process of planning and he offered a ton of advice and ideas for planning our day to run smoothly (and to have time for us to spend together as a couple). Talking to Dean also did a little good for my ego--he made me feel beautiful and sophisticated in a subtle way that I think would show in how he took our photos.
Cons: Again, price. As two independent, young, professional photographers (who have their own separate families to support) working together, their prices are actually above Lois and Clark. Also, some of their albums were out for cleaning so I couldn't get a full range of what they do productwise. My sense was that the albums I did see were a bit more conservative then what they normally do--I wanted to see more of their "edgy" work.
P.P. #3: Lucy
Truly, I love Lucy. As a person that is. Lucy is a very young photographer. She's been working in the industry for a while as an assistant, but has only started working on her own in the past year. Unfortunately for me, her work shows. Although she was extraordinarily nice, we did not have a particular long meeting (we met at her home which is gorgeous). I did not have any poignant questions to ask and found that when I did, I often received answers that left me at a loss.
Pros: Price--of course as a photographer who is just starting out (and who doesn't do this full time) she is able to offer great deals. Her top of the line package is several hundred dollars below where many photographers start their basic package. Personality--a real sweetheart who is genuinely passionate about her work.
Cons: Equipment is very basic. Horrible Black & White photography. And when I saw horrible, I do mean that very seriously. Rather than showing a range of black and white, many pictures were just gray. The color pictures were often flat. Album layouts were very conservative and uninspiring.
In the words of Mom, "oh no."
Camera Ready
It is official--I have a dress. Yesterday's shopping experience at the bridal shop was great. The store is a really nice spot. They have dressers that help you with the dresses and the manager and owner are there to go over the finer points of how the gown will hang and bustle and all that good stuff. Originally, the owner picked out about four dresses for me so that we could determine my style and taste. From day one, I have had my favorite. Our second visit a couple of months ago confirmed my favorite was still "the dress." So this time, it was all about the paperwork and the money. Mom of course, wanted to be sure and asked the manager to go through the dresses again to be sure there wasn't anything else I might like. Although I had only worked with her one time during my second visit, she remembered me immediately and assured my mother that the dress I picked out was perfect for me. She humored Mom by showing her some of the new things that had come in, and they clearly were not for me. So I tried on my dress one more time and we took all the needed measurements--including the "hollow to hem" which I'll need to make sure all the bead work and the shape of the dress is proportional to my little frame. Mom put down the needed deposit--which I am EXTREMELY grateful for--and my order is off to the designer!!! I should expect the dress to arrive probably mid to late summer.
So today is photography day! I have been looking forward to this more than anything--probably even more than the dress. I didn't imagine I would be doing this without Dr. J though--that is the roughest part of today. I wish he was here. So I'm holding down the fort and Mom was able to go with me for the first appointment.
Potential Photographer #1: Lois and Clark
The first meeting today was with a husband and wife team. They are sweet people--she is clearly the socialite and he's definitely the behind the camera type--both were very friendly and I instantly felt comfortable around them. We met in their home studio, although they are in the process of moving to a retail space (which I take is a reason for their recent price shift in the upward direction). The studio space at home was small, but very nice--they had beautiful prints on the walls--mostly canvas portraits of brides. There were two brides displayed on easels in the room as well--one who was getting married that day and the other who was recently married and was coming by to pick up her prints from her bridal sessions. One was done in studio, the other was outside, but the quality of both was outstanding. Lois met with us and showed us an album while we waited for Clark, and we just chatted for a bit. Clark joined us, got some information about our wedding and more importantly, about John and I. He showed us a slideshow on his widescreen iMac monitor (had to be 24" or more--gorgeous piece of hardware indeed) which was positioned against the wall across from our very comfortable leather couch.
As I communicated to them, of the websites and samples I've seen, I've been impressed from the beginning by the quality of their images. They have a wonderful tonal range in the colors of their pictures (esp. the B&W) and all of their color images pop. I learned that they shoot entirely digital and I learned a bit more about that process and what makes their images so distinct--exposure and processing. Even though I don't know as much about digital as I do film, I loved feeling like they were comfortable educating me on their craft, and they said that I asked a lot of good questions they don't normally hear (figure that--an academic that asks good questions).
Pros: Very friendly. Professional. Great references. Great equipment. Great ideas. Beautiful albums and products (Mom is in love with a guestbook they have that incorporates your engagement photos--I told her she was welcome to buy us that as a gift if she REALLY loved it). Provide all images on CD or DVD for your own reproduction. And of course, two photographers--Lois would follow me around during preparations, while Clark would shadow Dr. J. And ideally, when I thought about this process, that is what I wanted--two professional cameras. Then we would have both of their perspectives during the ceremony and reception. To me, the biggest thing was that they impressed my mother who is a frugal shopper. When we left, the first thing she said was--"they are good."
Con: The only con of course is price. They are over what we had in our tentative budget; however, we budgeted based on the prices I saw when we were engaged over 6 months ago. Since then of course, a lot of the vendors have gone up on their prices for 2007. So since they are the first appointment, I'm not completely sure yet how much they are above the average. They are not in the unreasonable range. We'll have to talk more with Planner about the current market rate for what we want. The other small con is that I didn't see any brides of color and although we talked about it, I didn't see examples. Given their prices and location (they are based in the most vanilla part of Hometown), I can understand why.
Potential Photographer #2: Dean and Martin
This team is two young guys who just started a business together in Hometown. I knew them previously as separate photographers and I've seen many examples of their work around town. Last night, I spoke to Dean, who wanted to talk before we met to make sure this was really a good fit. I liked that. We talked for about 20 minutes last night and I really enjoyed our conversation. While I knew Dean and Martin were in business together, I did not know they actually shoot every event together--engagement, bridal, anything you want they do together. I also did not know they shoot everything manually which I have a certain affection for. I know now that their prices are comparable to Lois and Clark although I have a feeling their albums and other products may be more expensive. I have my meeting with them shortly, and I am very much looking forward to it!
So today is photography day! I have been looking forward to this more than anything--probably even more than the dress. I didn't imagine I would be doing this without Dr. J though--that is the roughest part of today. I wish he was here. So I'm holding down the fort and Mom was able to go with me for the first appointment.
Potential Photographer #1: Lois and Clark
The first meeting today was with a husband and wife team. They are sweet people--she is clearly the socialite and he's definitely the behind the camera type--both were very friendly and I instantly felt comfortable around them. We met in their home studio, although they are in the process of moving to a retail space (which I take is a reason for their recent price shift in the upward direction). The studio space at home was small, but very nice--they had beautiful prints on the walls--mostly canvas portraits of brides. There were two brides displayed on easels in the room as well--one who was getting married that day and the other who was recently married and was coming by to pick up her prints from her bridal sessions. One was done in studio, the other was outside, but the quality of both was outstanding. Lois met with us and showed us an album while we waited for Clark, and we just chatted for a bit. Clark joined us, got some information about our wedding and more importantly, about John and I. He showed us a slideshow on his widescreen iMac monitor (had to be 24" or more--gorgeous piece of hardware indeed) which was positioned against the wall across from our very comfortable leather couch.
As I communicated to them, of the websites and samples I've seen, I've been impressed from the beginning by the quality of their images. They have a wonderful tonal range in the colors of their pictures (esp. the B&W) and all of their color images pop. I learned that they shoot entirely digital and I learned a bit more about that process and what makes their images so distinct--exposure and processing. Even though I don't know as much about digital as I do film, I loved feeling like they were comfortable educating me on their craft, and they said that I asked a lot of good questions they don't normally hear (figure that--an academic that asks good questions).
Pros: Very friendly. Professional. Great references. Great equipment. Great ideas. Beautiful albums and products (Mom is in love with a guestbook they have that incorporates your engagement photos--I told her she was welcome to buy us that as a gift if she REALLY loved it). Provide all images on CD or DVD for your own reproduction. And of course, two photographers--Lois would follow me around during preparations, while Clark would shadow Dr. J. And ideally, when I thought about this process, that is what I wanted--two professional cameras. Then we would have both of their perspectives during the ceremony and reception. To me, the biggest thing was that they impressed my mother who is a frugal shopper. When we left, the first thing she said was--"they are good."
Con: The only con of course is price. They are over what we had in our tentative budget; however, we budgeted based on the prices I saw when we were engaged over 6 months ago. Since then of course, a lot of the vendors have gone up on their prices for 2007. So since they are the first appointment, I'm not completely sure yet how much they are above the average. They are not in the unreasonable range. We'll have to talk more with Planner about the current market rate for what we want. The other small con is that I didn't see any brides of color and although we talked about it, I didn't see examples. Given their prices and location (they are based in the most vanilla part of Hometown), I can understand why.
Potential Photographer #2: Dean and Martin
This team is two young guys who just started a business together in Hometown. I knew them previously as separate photographers and I've seen many examples of their work around town. Last night, I spoke to Dean, who wanted to talk before we met to make sure this was really a good fit. I liked that. We talked for about 20 minutes last night and I really enjoyed our conversation. While I knew Dean and Martin were in business together, I did not know they actually shoot every event together--engagement, bridal, anything you want they do together. I also did not know they shoot everything manually which I have a certain affection for. I know now that their prices are comparable to Lois and Clark although I have a feeling their albums and other products may be more expensive. I have my meeting with them shortly, and I am very much looking forward to it!
It's Dress Day!
I just got off the phone with the bridal boutique. I have a 5:00 appointment to order my dress today! That leaves me a good bit of time today to work on this grading (ugh) and start rereading Assata.
I was a bit overwhelmed by Mom's wedding energy yesterday, but it is rubbing off because I'm getting excited! Fingers crossed that this appointment will be as enjoyable and stress-free as possible.
I was a bit overwhelmed by Mom's wedding energy yesterday, but it is rubbing off because I'm getting excited! Fingers crossed that this appointment will be as enjoyable and stress-free as possible.
She's Been Bitten
I'm back in Hometown. One good meal already, and I'll have another one shortly. Always the biggest pro to coming home--it is like a resort with a great meal plan. Of course here, you pay for food in ways other than money....
Lani and I never connected over the holidays to exchange gifts and so the gift she left for me has been sitting here all this time (I didn't realize it has been quite so long since I've been home). So the first nice surprise of the day was to find some gift cards waiting for me for two of my favorite stores (especially nice since I've put myself on a shopping probation).
But the second surprise of the day is that the wedding bug has officially bitten my mother who has otherwise been (relatively speaking) very calm and demure about this whole event. Today, we are exactly one year away from the wedding, and it seems like the year mark has come just in time for Mom (who of course did not understand why we picked a date SOOO far away). This evening, I think I received one "how are you doing" since she got off work--just about everything else has been wedding-related. She's got brochures, she's got business cards, she's got questions, and she's got--her list. The one point of future conflict that I was not looking forward to. Her list has close to 100 people. We're trying to stay in the neighborhood of 150-175. Now there is a great deal of overlap between her list and my own (the one I haven't started on officially yet), but the remainders definitely exceed the 20 or so guest we were going to slate for each of our mothers. So this is going to be interesting. Mom has already decided we need to have at least 200 people, and she is offering to "pay for her people." That's all good and everything; however, Dr. J and I really chose the number we did in an effort to celebrate our day with the people who matter to us as a couple--not just a bunch of people we know individually. I'm looking forward to talking this over with him, but he's at work (darn that new job)! So in the meantime, I'm fielding questions on matter number 2--the dress.
My mother's main wedding department is supposed to be the dress. Unfortunately, this means that I can only say so much. The plan is to go and order the dress while I'm here. Recall that I found THE dress that I love some time ago. Well apparently, Mom and the wedding bug have been scoping out the boutique. She believes a dress very similar to mine is in the window and she went by after work one day and took a picture (which is hilarious because the owner is very particular about cameras and her dresses). So she has decided that rather than just going by to order the dress I've already picked out that we should definitely set aside some time to try on some more dresses while I'm in town. I'm not convinced.
I think Mom and the Wedding Bug are going to tag along to my photog appointments on Saturday. I have four vendors to see, and I'll be sure to post lots of info on what will be a very busy Saturday. For now, it is back to eating home cooked food and grading.
Lani and I never connected over the holidays to exchange gifts and so the gift she left for me has been sitting here all this time (I didn't realize it has been quite so long since I've been home). So the first nice surprise of the day was to find some gift cards waiting for me for two of my favorite stores (especially nice since I've put myself on a shopping probation).
But the second surprise of the day is that the wedding bug has officially bitten my mother who has otherwise been (relatively speaking) very calm and demure about this whole event. Today, we are exactly one year away from the wedding, and it seems like the year mark has come just in time for Mom (who of course did not understand why we picked a date SOOO far away). This evening, I think I received one "how are you doing" since she got off work--just about everything else has been wedding-related. She's got brochures, she's got business cards, she's got questions, and she's got--her list. The one point of future conflict that I was not looking forward to. Her list has close to 100 people. We're trying to stay in the neighborhood of 150-175. Now there is a great deal of overlap between her list and my own (the one I haven't started on officially yet), but the remainders definitely exceed the 20 or so guest we were going to slate for each of our mothers. So this is going to be interesting. Mom has already decided we need to have at least 200 people, and she is offering to "pay for her people." That's all good and everything; however, Dr. J and I really chose the number we did in an effort to celebrate our day with the people who matter to us as a couple--not just a bunch of people we know individually. I'm looking forward to talking this over with him, but he's at work (darn that new job)! So in the meantime, I'm fielding questions on matter number 2--the dress.
My mother's main wedding department is supposed to be the dress. Unfortunately, this means that I can only say so much. The plan is to go and order the dress while I'm here. Recall that I found THE dress that I love some time ago. Well apparently, Mom and the wedding bug have been scoping out the boutique. She believes a dress very similar to mine is in the window and she went by after work one day and took a picture (which is hilarious because the owner is very particular about cameras and her dresses). So she has decided that rather than just going by to order the dress I've already picked out that we should definitely set aside some time to try on some more dresses while I'm in town. I'm not convinced.
I think Mom and the Wedding Bug are going to tag along to my photog appointments on Saturday. I have four vendors to see, and I'll be sure to post lots of info on what will be a very busy Saturday. For now, it is back to eating home cooked food and grading.
Wednesday
Oh it is the middle of the week--the middle of Spring Break. On the one hand I've done a good bit, on the other I haven't done much. I think I'm okay with that.
Yesterday's grading didn't happen so I really want to do that today. I also remembered that I'm teaching Assata next week--I really need to reread that.
But right now is just going to be a lazy Wednesday. I have a couple posts under development on more substantial topics, but I don't think they are going to happen today.
I definitely need to get out of town for a bit--I need a change of scenery. At some point later today I'll start packing. I heard from Planner this morning, and it looks like I could have a few photographer appointments this weekend if I'd like to.
Yesterday's grading didn't happen so I really want to do that today. I also remembered that I'm teaching Assata next week--I really need to reread that.
But right now is just going to be a lazy Wednesday. I have a couple posts under development on more substantial topics, but I don't think they are going to happen today.
I definitely need to get out of town for a bit--I need a change of scenery. At some point later today I'll start packing. I heard from Planner this morning, and it looks like I could have a few photographer appointments this weekend if I'd like to.
To ________, Or Not To __________
Grade.
Clean.
Pack.
I'm not happy with my current alternatives for my day. I need to grade--that is just part of the unfortunate circumstance of assigning papers to be turned in so close to break. I'm becoming okay with that. I met my grading goal for yesterday with no problem. Today's goal is to grade two stacks (6 papers in each stack) from my Major Course (5-7 pages each). These papers are fun and interesting to read because they are all on different time periods and issues in history, but time consuming to grade because students have to synthesize secondary materials to explain a particular historical context. They have a lot of issues with pulling scholarship together and organizing it in a way that creates a compelling narrative.
But cleaning and packing are two different stories because there is such little motivation. My house is not incredibly dirty--I'm not here that much during the normal school week to wreck it. But I actually enjoy cleaning, especially before I leave town so that I can come back to a spanking clean house. As Dr. J says, I'm a bit of a Cleaning Commando when I really go at it. And that's what I'm in the mood to do--a furniture moving, closet organizing, nooks and crannies type of a clean. But it keeps looking more and more like I'm going to be stuck here in Gorgeous City for most of break. My being in town for an extended period leads to a little cleaning here, a little cleaning there, rather than an all out assault on my domestic space. Frankly--just not as fun.
I was going to go to Hometown and set up shop at home for the week so that I could handle some wedding dress business with mom, hook up with our planner to see some photographers, and then head to University Town to hang with Dr. J for a couple days. Unfortunately, our planner, is MIA. (I'm not going to speak any further on that right now). Additionally, Dr. J is in the middle of intense number crunching on SPSS and working through his discussion chapter, so it looks like this isn't the best time to pull him away from his work. He's under some serious deadlines (campus invite coming up!), and I know I'd be a disctraction because I don't know a thing about quantitative work and his numbers really need to be tight for the institution he is visiting--they made that very clear. All of this leads me to having very little motivation to pack up for a week (or what's left of it) just to sit around at Hometown while Mom is at work all day (she has un-retired herself). Hometown is right up the road--I can hop up to see Mom any day.
So I'm trying to take my wise fiance's advice to heart. After whining in a text to him (much like this whiny post), he responded to say that I should enjoy the BREAK in my Spring Break. Sigh. I'm going to work on that.
Clean.
Pack.
I'm not happy with my current alternatives for my day. I need to grade--that is just part of the unfortunate circumstance of assigning papers to be turned in so close to break. I'm becoming okay with that. I met my grading goal for yesterday with no problem. Today's goal is to grade two stacks (6 papers in each stack) from my Major Course (5-7 pages each). These papers are fun and interesting to read because they are all on different time periods and issues in history, but time consuming to grade because students have to synthesize secondary materials to explain a particular historical context. They have a lot of issues with pulling scholarship together and organizing it in a way that creates a compelling narrative.
But cleaning and packing are two different stories because there is such little motivation. My house is not incredibly dirty--I'm not here that much during the normal school week to wreck it. But I actually enjoy cleaning, especially before I leave town so that I can come back to a spanking clean house. As Dr. J says, I'm a bit of a Cleaning Commando when I really go at it. And that's what I'm in the mood to do--a furniture moving, closet organizing, nooks and crannies type of a clean. But it keeps looking more and more like I'm going to be stuck here in Gorgeous City for most of break. My being in town for an extended period leads to a little cleaning here, a little cleaning there, rather than an all out assault on my domestic space. Frankly--just not as fun.
I was going to go to Hometown and set up shop at home for the week so that I could handle some wedding dress business with mom, hook up with our planner to see some photographers, and then head to University Town to hang with Dr. J for a couple days. Unfortunately, our planner, is MIA. (I'm not going to speak any further on that right now). Additionally, Dr. J is in the middle of intense number crunching on SPSS and working through his discussion chapter, so it looks like this isn't the best time to pull him away from his work. He's under some serious deadlines (campus invite coming up!), and I know I'd be a disctraction because I don't know a thing about quantitative work and his numbers really need to be tight for the institution he is visiting--they made that very clear. All of this leads me to having very little motivation to pack up for a week (or what's left of it) just to sit around at Hometown while Mom is at work all day (she has un-retired herself). Hometown is right up the road--I can hop up to see Mom any day.
So I'm trying to take my wise fiance's advice to heart. After whining in a text to him (much like this whiny post), he responded to say that I should enjoy the BREAK in my Spring Break. Sigh. I'm going to work on that.
Getting Back to Work
I'm so glad it is Spring Break. I've been a bit of a bum so far this weekend, but I think I've earned it. Tomorrow I'll get back to the business of being productive and just getting on my normal routine. I missed all three of my workouts last week due to midterm chaos so the first thing on the agenda for tomorrow is hitting the gym.
Mon's Monday:
Mon's Monday:
Get in a good workout in the AM- Clean up around the house and maybe look into getting a new vacuum (ugh)
Grade the 1 pg response papers for my Speciality Course--perhaps at the bookstore with my favorite drink that I haven't had since I moved here!!Spend some time thinking about needed changes for 19th century Essay #1
That should be more than enough to get me back into the swing of things!
WHM: Political First
On this day in history, Jeanette Rankin became the first woman in the US House of Representatives (1917). In 1933, Frances Perkins became the first woman in a presidential Cabinet post, serving as the secretary of labor.
Crystal Bird Fauset was born June 27, 1893, to Benjamin and Portia Bird. She attended Boston Normal School and in 1914 became a school teacher. According to biographer Eric Smith, she was the first secretary for African American girls with the Young Women’s Christian Association, her first of many leadership positions. She had a brief public speaking career (1927-1928) for the American Friends Service Committee while attending Columbia University and recalled later that her “290 speeches had reached almost 50,000 people” (Qtd in Smith 35). In 1931, she graduated with a degree in education from Columbia and married writer and anthropologist Arthur Huff Fauset (half brother of Harlem Renaissance novelist Jessie Redmond Fauset).
Fauset’s transition to more visible social positions after college led to key appointments that would inspire her pursuit of public office. She worked in the Institute of Race Relations at Swarthmore College and in 1935 was appointed the director of the Woman and Professional Project of the Works Progress Administration (WPA). Fauset’s involvement in the Colored Women’s Activities for the Democratic National Committee motivated her to campaign for state legislature at the encouragement of the Democratic Party. Her district, Philadelphia’s 18th District, was two-thirds White, but Fauset gained the needed votes through conducting a primarily telephone campaign, perhaps one of the nation’s first. She promised to represent the interests of all of her constituents:
Fauset’s history of race-relations work caught the attention of first lady Eleanor Roosevelt. She appointed Fauset race-relations advisor in the National Office of Civilian Defense. Fauset remained concerned about the promotion of true democracy and equality in the United States often speaking boldly, without care for whom she might offend. On one occasion, when introducing the First Lady in Washington, Fauset said,
In memory of these political firsts, today I am celebrating Crystal Bird Fauset. Here's a little piece from the dissertation that motivated this blog...
Crystal Bird Fauset was born June 27, 1893, to Benjamin and Portia Bird. She attended Boston Normal School and in 1914 became a school teacher. According to biographer Eric Smith, she was the first secretary for African American girls with the Young Women’s Christian Association, her first of many leadership positions. She had a brief public speaking career (1927-1928) for the American Friends Service Committee while attending Columbia University and recalled later that her “290 speeches had reached almost 50,000 people” (Qtd in Smith 35). In 1931, she graduated with a degree in education from Columbia and married writer and anthropologist Arthur Huff Fauset (half brother of Harlem Renaissance novelist Jessie Redmond Fauset).Fauset’s transition to more visible social positions after college led to key appointments that would inspire her pursuit of public office. She worked in the Institute of Race Relations at Swarthmore College and in 1935 was appointed the director of the Woman and Professional Project of the Works Progress Administration (WPA). Fauset’s involvement in the Colored Women’s Activities for the Democratic National Committee motivated her to campaign for state legislature at the encouragement of the Democratic Party. Her district, Philadelphia’s 18th District, was two-thirds White, but Fauset gained the needed votes through conducting a primarily telephone campaign, perhaps one of the nation’s first. She promised to represent the interests of all of her constituents:
“I shall work for legislation that affects the general welfare of the people
regardless of color,” she told the press. “I won’t fail the colored people
but I won’t concentrate exclusively on their problems, because after all, I am
being sent by both colored and white voters.” (Qtd in Smith 36)
Voters liked what they heard. In 1938, Crystal Bird Fauset was elected to the Pennsylvania House of Representatives becoming the first Black woman to serve in a state house of representatives anywhere within the United States. As a legislator, Fauset demonstrated a commitment to the preservation of the entire community, but her time in office was brief. Fauset resigned in 1939 to serve as assistant director in Pennsylvania of the education and recreation programs of the WPA and advisor on Negro Affairs.
Fauset’s history of race-relations work caught the attention of first lady Eleanor Roosevelt. She appointed Fauset race-relations advisor in the National Office of Civilian Defense. Fauset remained concerned about the promotion of true democracy and equality in the United States often speaking boldly, without care for whom she might offend. On one occasion, when introducing the First Lady in Washington, Fauset said,
If white people will permit the President and Mrs. Roosevelt to work out their plans, not calculated to hurt any one’s feelings, but to give consideration to race problems not as a philanthropic gesture but as a great aid to national unity, then America will take her place and make democracy a reality in all the world. (New York Times, Feb. 10, 1942)
But Fauset’s relationship with the Roosevelt administration was not always a supportive one. Susan Ware and William Chafe, who worked to compile the papers of Eleanor Roosevelt note that “Eleanor Roosevelt and Crystal Bird Fauset met and corresponded frequently, but they were hardly close friends. In fact, Fauset’s letters to ER have a contentious tone" (A Guide to the Papers of Eleanor Roosevelt 13). Fauset resigned from her position as advisor in 1944. She left the Democratic Party to support Republican Governor Thomas E. Dewey and gave speeches in support of his presidential campaign. In an interview with the New York Times, Fauset revealed that her choice to change parties was about access and the importance of “democracy in politics" (Sept. 10, 1944). Fauset explained, “I believe it would be possible for Negroes to confer freely with Governor Dewey if he were elected President. That has not been the case under the present Administration" (Sept. 10, 1944).
Fauset, along with activists like Mary McLeod Bethune, ushered in a new era for Black women in politics--an era marked by increased participation in formal (electoral) political activities. Although she is often undiscussed, Fauset played a key role in open the door for women in public office.
Guilty Pleasures Meme
Well it's Saturday morning. I should be cleaning but instead, why not do a meme I never finished. I have so many posts in my drafts box. So I'm cleaning it up (that kinda counts as Saturday morning cleaning).
As seen here.
Four Guilty Pleasures in Books
I really don't have any answers for this one since I do so very little pleasure reading these days...Here's my four guilty pleasures in magazines:
1. VIBE
2. Modern Bride
3. ESPN the Magazine
4. Victoria's Secret
Four Guilty Pleasures in Movies
1. Most anything with Adam Sandler
2. Kicking and Screaming
3. Josie and the Pussycats
4. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Four Guilty Pleasures in Food
1. McAlister's Spud Max and Chocolate Lovin Spoon Cake
2. Sweet Potatoes (bake em', grill 'em, souffle 'em, put 'em in a pie--I don't care I love 'em)
3. Fried Chicken (see Dave Chappelle's Killin Em Softly for more context)
4. McDonald's New Snack Wraps!
Four Guilty Pleasures in Music
1. DMX
2. Lil Bow Wow
3. Petey Pablo
4. Pearl Jam
Four Guilty Pleasures in TV
1. Alias
2. Extreme Home Makeover
3. Project Runway
4. Moesha
Four Guilty Pleasures in Booze
1. Kamikaze shots
2. Ciclon Margaritas
3. Verdi
4. Kool-Aid (I'm only slowly starting to break my addiction to this stuff)
As seen here.
Four Guilty Pleasures in Books
I really don't have any answers for this one since I do so very little pleasure reading these days...Here's my four guilty pleasures in magazines:
1. VIBE
2. Modern Bride
3. ESPN the Magazine
4. Victoria's Secret
Four Guilty Pleasures in Movies
1. Most anything with Adam Sandler
2. Kicking and Screaming
3. Josie and the Pussycats
4. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Four Guilty Pleasures in Food
1. McAlister's Spud Max and Chocolate Lovin Spoon Cake
2. Sweet Potatoes (bake em', grill 'em, souffle 'em, put 'em in a pie--I don't care I love 'em)
3. Fried Chicken (see Dave Chappelle's Killin Em Softly for more context)
4. McDonald's New Snack Wraps!
Four Guilty Pleasures in Music
1. DMX
2. Lil Bow Wow
3. Petey Pablo
4. Pearl Jam
Four Guilty Pleasures in TV
1. Alias
2. Extreme Home Makeover
3. Project Runway
4. Moesha
Four Guilty Pleasures in Booze
1. Kamikaze shots
2. Ciclon Margaritas
3. Verdi
4. Kool-Aid (I'm only slowly starting to break my addiction to this stuff)
WHM: Women in the Pulpit
So let me begin my March celebration by taking up Bardiac's challenge to:
Sometimes I hate on Sojourner Truth like some folks hate on Beyonce because she gets too much airplay. But Truth is one of the few Black women to maintain a national and international reputation throughout time despite the fact that we have very little of her actual words. As an abolitionist, a Black nationalist, a feminist--whatever label you want to give her--Truth was able to move people such power that we have not stopped talking about her for centuries. Still the efforts to "claim" Truth by a number of different camps as a political speaker has often diminished the importance of her work as an itinerant preacher.
Not having a secure place in the pulpit as a former slave woman undoubtedly played an important role in Truth reaching out to abolitionist and other circles to advance her message. By utilizing her rhetorical skills as a preacher, Truth was able to blend the traditions of the African American pulpit into an unforgettable social message--one that was always rooted in the Bible. Truth utilized the folk wit, humor, signification, and plain speech familiar to Black church preaching to shed light on the institution of slavery and the problems of inequality in the nation. Her physical presence, which has been noted over time because of her height and solid frame, was matched by her most powerful instrument, her voice. Historian Nell Irwin Painter describes Truth’s voice,
Truth's combination of singing and preaching fits into a long tradition of Black women who have marshaled the power of music and words. Truth, like Jarena Lee, Amanda Berry Smith, and Zilpha Elaw, seized the opportunity to be a spiritual leader in the early Black community. However, Truth, like Maria Stewart, distinguished herself by combining preaching and politics and speaking to audiences across gender and racial lines.
Truth's leadership is mirrored by today by Reverend Dr. Vashti Murphy McKenzie, who became the first woman bishop of the African Methodist Episcopal (AME) Church in 2000. She was also the first woman pastor of Payne Memorial African Methodist Episcopal Church in Baltimore, Maryland. In ways similar to Truth, Bishop McKenzie has demonstrated throughout her career both spiritual leadership and a commitment to political activism. Born into a family of faith and social concern, McKenzie is the descendant of John H. Murphy, Sr. who started the Afro-American Newspapers and Vashti Turly Murphy, one of the founders of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.
Like her family, McKenzie took up the family trade of journalism, faith, and activism. She has worked as a radio host, a columnist, and is the author of several books, including: Strength in the Struggle: Leadership Development for Women, Journey to the Well, Not without a Struggle: Leadership Development for African American Women in Ministry. Not Without a Struggle outlines 10 commandments for African American women in position of leadership in the church, demonstrating McKenzie's devotion to addressing the needs of women in the faith community and continuing her work to "break the stain glass ceiling." She has been an active participant in The State of the Black Union hosted by Tavis Smiley and her outspokenness has drawn many fans. Her consistent leadership as a Christian woman and her dedication to causes such as relief for Hurricane Katrina victims and fighting the AIDS epidemic here and abroad is admirable and needed in these times.
Time Magazine said of McKenzie in 2004:
I am blessed to have women ministers and spiritual leaders in my family and in my family-to-be. Both Dr. J and I have aunts who are ordained ministers, my godmother is a creator and head of a missions organization that provides healthcare education, literacy, and relationship counseling to South Africans. Today, I celebrate their willingness to join the work of women like Truth and McKenzie and break down the barriers facing women in communities of faith.
...remember one woman who's provided leadership, to encourage one woman who has potential, to recognize one woman who's contributing, especially if she's contributing in ways that aren't well-valued by the patriarchy.To that end, today I remember women who have made strides in the area of religion--one of the most patriarchal spaces today. As Roxanne Mountford argues,
the textbook tradition privileging the masculine body of the preacher and an architectural/cultural tradition that gives that body a home sustain gender bias and leave contemporary women preachers search for ways to accommodate themselves to the physicality of preaching. Their bodies are not anticipated by the tradition; indeed, for centuries, their bodies have been explicitly excluded. (3)Both in the literature on the art of preaching and in the physical spaces of churches, Mountford breaks down how the role of the preacher has been constructed for men and men only. Her analysis offers an opportunity to remember two women who have broken down/through these masculine spaces: Sojourner Truth and Bishop Vashti McKenzie.
Sometimes I hate on Sojourner Truth like some folks hate on Beyonce because she gets too much airplay. But Truth is one of the few Black women to maintain a national and international reputation throughout time despite the fact that we have very little of her actual words. As an abolitionist, a Black nationalist, a feminist--whatever label you want to give her--Truth was able to move people such power that we have not stopped talking about her for centuries. Still the efforts to "claim" Truth by a number of different camps as a political speaker has often diminished the importance of her work as an itinerant preacher.
Not having a secure place in the pulpit as a former slave woman undoubtedly played an important role in Truth reaching out to abolitionist and other circles to advance her message. By utilizing her rhetorical skills as a preacher, Truth was able to blend the traditions of the African American pulpit into an unforgettable social message--one that was always rooted in the Bible. Truth utilized the folk wit, humor, signification, and plain speech familiar to Black church preaching to shed light on the institution of slavery and the problems of inequality in the nation. Her physical presence, which has been noted over time because of her height and solid frame, was matched by her most powerful instrument, her voice. Historian Nell Irwin Painter describes Truth’s voice,
Her voice was low, so low that listeners sometimes termed it masculine, and her
singing voice was beautifully powerful. Whenever she spoke in public, she
also sang. No one ever forgot the power and pathos of Sojourner Truth’s
singing, just as her wit and originality of phrasing were also of lasting
remembrance. (3)
Truth's combination of singing and preaching fits into a long tradition of Black women who have marshaled the power of music and words. Truth, like Jarena Lee, Amanda Berry Smith, and Zilpha Elaw, seized the opportunity to be a spiritual leader in the early Black community. However, Truth, like Maria Stewart, distinguished herself by combining preaching and politics and speaking to audiences across gender and racial lines.
Truth's leadership is mirrored by today by Reverend Dr. Vashti Murphy McKenzie, who became the first woman bishop of the African Methodist Episcopal (AME) Church in 2000. She was also the first woman pastor of Payne Memorial African Methodist Episcopal Church in Baltimore, Maryland. In ways similar to Truth, Bishop McKenzie has demonstrated throughout her career both spiritual leadership and a commitment to political activism. Born into a family of faith and social concern, McKenzie is the descendant of John H. Murphy, Sr. who started the Afro-American Newspapers and Vashti Turly Murphy, one of the founders of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.
Like her family, McKenzie took up the family trade of journalism, faith, and activism. She has worked as a radio host, a columnist, and is the author of several books, including: Strength in the Struggle: Leadership Development for Women, Journey to the Well, Not without a Struggle: Leadership Development for African American Women in Ministry. Not Without a Struggle outlines 10 commandments for African American women in position of leadership in the church, demonstrating McKenzie's devotion to addressing the needs of women in the faith community and continuing her work to "break the stain glass ceiling." She has been an active participant in The State of the Black Union hosted by Tavis Smiley and her outspokenness has drawn many fans. Her consistent leadership as a Christian woman and her dedication to causes such as relief for Hurricane Katrina victims and fighting the AIDS epidemic here and abroad is admirable and needed in these times.
Time Magazine said of McKenzie in 2004:
Bishop McKenzie has a time-tested philosophy on combatting patriarchy. "ForBishop Vashti McKenzie is definitely a woman to be celebrated as she continues to move through the glass ceiling of the church and the masculine space of the pulpit.
women, especially for African-American women," she says, "you always have to be
better than men to get ahead." Assigned a 300-member church in a depressed part
of Baltimore in 1990, she not only built the congregation to 1,700 but also
worked with the state of Maryland to get 600 area people off welfare, save a
public school and renovate a key local building. Her election campaign for
bishop in 2000, following another woman's 1996 defeat, was unapologetically
aggressive, featuring T shirts, buttons and campaign visits to dozens of
churches. Her victory was a milestone for a church whose membership is 70%
female.
I am blessed to have women ministers and spiritual leaders in my family and in my family-to-be. Both Dr. J and I have aunts who are ordained ministers, my godmother is a creator and head of a missions organization that provides healthcare education, literacy, and relationship counseling to South Africans. Today, I celebrate their willingness to join the work of women like Truth and McKenzie and break down the barriers facing women in communities of faith.
Women's History Month
Unlike Bardiac, my email box has been bombarded of late with events and reminders that March is National Women's History Month. Since I was on hiatus during Black History Month, I'm going to take this opportunity to celebrate Black women's history.
As Deborah Gray White's opening chapter indicates in Too Heavy a Load, there are frequently moments in history where Black women have been "Divided Against Themselves." When it comes to reading history, sometimes I still feel like All the Women are White, All the Blacks Men, despite commentaries that indicate "the push" for multiculturalism has somehow diluted our history and our education system. *Slight digression approaching* Last time I cracked open a child's social studies book (which was this summer), I did not find it so rampant with people of color that:
*Back to the subject.*
It remains a challenge to find a safe and welcoming place to discuss Black women's history 1) without stepping on sensitive spots in Black male/female relationships or 2) reifying the borders between Black women and White women that are constantly being broken down and reconstructed or 3) somehow isolating or pulling Black women out of the powerful coalitions that can be made amongst all women of color. Still it is the feeling of often feeling divided and torn that motivates me to continue pushing for discussions of Black women's history that will allow me to celebrate my sistahs.
As Deborah Gray White's opening chapter indicates in Too Heavy a Load, there are frequently moments in history where Black women have been "Divided Against Themselves." When it comes to reading history, sometimes I still feel like All the Women are White, All the Blacks Men, despite commentaries that indicate "the push" for multiculturalism has somehow diluted our history and our education system. *Slight digression approaching* Last time I cracked open a child's social studies book (which was this summer), I did not find it so rampant with people of color that:
That nasty little problem [students not being well versed in American history] has its roots in a nasty little attitude of contempt toward history as written by and about white males. The spirit of equal outcomes that has dumbed down education also has distorted the teaching of American history. Too much George, not enough Martha. (Columnist Kathleen Parker)
*Back to the subject.*
It remains a challenge to find a safe and welcoming place to discuss Black women's history 1) without stepping on sensitive spots in Black male/female relationships or 2) reifying the borders between Black women and White women that are constantly being broken down and reconstructed or 3) somehow isolating or pulling Black women out of the powerful coalitions that can be made amongst all women of color. Still it is the feeling of often feeling divided and torn that motivates me to continue pushing for discussions of Black women's history that will allow me to celebrate my sistahs.
Connecting
Just in time to rescue me from the winter blues, I heard from Wonderful Mentor, who always seems to know just when to send me an email. I miss her terribly. We haven't talked much since I've moved to Gorgeous City due to my move and her promotion/new administrative duties. So it was good to just feel connected again.
I'm mulling over Doc's post about the many things about being a new faculty member that were not surprising to her. Part of me feels the same way--I knew it would be fun and exhausting to get back to teaching after a year off. I knew I'd be super busy. I knew the commute would drive me crazy some days. I knew being so close to home would drive me crazy others.
I did not expect to do much reading, especially after the binge reading I did this summer while working at the library. But I didn't think I would be so behind on my writing goals for the academic year. I've revised a few papers for conferences and submitted a short biographical piece for a collection, but I definitely wanted to have one or two articles under review by now. The positive side is that I never expected to be in a writing group and that has been a wonderful experience--I just wish I was giving them a bit more of my stuff to read! And there is still plenty of time in 2007 thank goodness.
Most of all though, I definitely didn't anticipate feeling disconnected. I always thought of graduate school as this rites of passage process--this thing you have to go through to get through the other side. Perhaps it was just an analogy that worked for me because of my experience in the fraternity/sorority community. I thought that much like Greek-lettered processes, I would come through on the other side and feel more a part of the whole. The whole ivory tower thingy-ma-jiggy. Some days I do--when I'm having interesting conversations with colleagues or students or making new connections to colleagues in other parts of the countries. But most days--when I'm sitting in class or meetings or in my office grading--I don't.
There are a lot of reasons for this disconnectedness--most of which I can't go into here. Undoubtedly a few are my "fault," but many are purely the random result of a weird matrix of organization structure, demography, geography, time, and resources. The challenging part for me right now is negotiating how much energy to place in working on the vague goal to "get more connected." That I don't have the answer to yet.
I'm mulling over Doc's post about the many things about being a new faculty member that were not surprising to her. Part of me feels the same way--I knew it would be fun and exhausting to get back to teaching after a year off. I knew I'd be super busy. I knew the commute would drive me crazy some days. I knew being so close to home would drive me crazy others.
I did not expect to do much reading, especially after the binge reading I did this summer while working at the library. But I didn't think I would be so behind on my writing goals for the academic year. I've revised a few papers for conferences and submitted a short biographical piece for a collection, but I definitely wanted to have one or two articles under review by now. The positive side is that I never expected to be in a writing group and that has been a wonderful experience--I just wish I was giving them a bit more of my stuff to read! And there is still plenty of time in 2007 thank goodness.
Most of all though, I definitely didn't anticipate feeling disconnected. I always thought of graduate school as this rites of passage process--this thing you have to go through to get through the other side. Perhaps it was just an analogy that worked for me because of my experience in the fraternity/sorority community. I thought that much like Greek-lettered processes, I would come through on the other side and feel more a part of the whole. The whole ivory tower thingy-ma-jiggy. Some days I do--when I'm having interesting conversations with colleagues or students or making new connections to colleagues in other parts of the countries. But most days--when I'm sitting in class or meetings or in my office grading--I don't.
There are a lot of reasons for this disconnectedness--most of which I can't go into here. Undoubtedly a few are my "fault," but many are purely the random result of a weird matrix of organization structure, demography, geography, time, and resources. The challenging part for me right now is negotiating how much energy to place in working on the vague goal to "get more connected." That I don't have the answer to yet.
Terrible Tuesdays
I'm slowly realizing how big an impact my schedule this semester is having on my emotional state. I did not know that just one long day in my week could so greatly alter my mood. But I have come to the conclusion that my Tuesdays are just terrible.
Typical Dr. Mon Tuesday:
8AM-10AM: Get up -- get dressed (and try to have breakfast) -- take the 30 minute commute to campus.
10AM-12PM: Prep for class, answer emails, make copies (general office stuff). I have attempted to minimize this time period and just take my time getting to the office, but I've found that the less time I have to get mentally ready for class, the more rushed and disconnected I feel throughout the entire day.
12PM-3PM: Teach back to back sections of my Course for Majors. I enjoy this class a lot but it is very high energy and extremely interactive. I'm usually worn out by the time I finish.
3PM-4:30PM: Meetings. It should be that only once a month I have a Dept. meeting or some other university meeting, but in reviewing my schedule, we've had mtgs 2-3 times a month this semester due to various searches and planning needs.
4:30-5:30PM: Eat and reorganize my thoughts for my next class.
6PM-9PM: Teach my Speciality Course. I was really jazzed about this class but I've found that it is a tremendous drain to 1) teach at the end of a long day--2) talk to silent students who are at the end of their long day--3) talk to students who are reluctant to discuss (outloud) anything that is new and unfamiliar. (That's for another post).
9PM-10PM: Arrive back at home. Eat. Try to spend some quality date time with Dr. J before passing out. Every Tuesday I get home, I'm exhausted--no matter what adjustments I make to my schedule.
On Monday I told Dr. J that I hate Tuesdays. And I really meant it. Tuesdays shape the tone for my whole week, and I spend Wednesday and Thursday trying to recover. I like working out to start my day, but as the semester goes on, I've found all of my Wednesday gym time has been pushed from morning to late Wednesday night.
The good news is--we are halfway through the semester. Although my schedule next semester has its quirks, I won't be in this situation again. I've realized that as a department newbie, while it is important to be vigilant of your time commitments, it is also important that you are careful about guarding your schedule.
Typical Dr. Mon Tuesday:
8AM-10AM: Get up -- get dressed (and try to have breakfast) -- take the 30 minute commute to campus.
10AM-12PM: Prep for class, answer emails, make copies (general office stuff). I have attempted to minimize this time period and just take my time getting to the office, but I've found that the less time I have to get mentally ready for class, the more rushed and disconnected I feel throughout the entire day.
12PM-3PM: Teach back to back sections of my Course for Majors. I enjoy this class a lot but it is very high energy and extremely interactive. I'm usually worn out by the time I finish.
3PM-4:30PM: Meetings. It should be that only once a month I have a Dept. meeting or some other university meeting, but in reviewing my schedule, we've had mtgs 2-3 times a month this semester due to various searches and planning needs.
4:30-5:30PM: Eat and reorganize my thoughts for my next class.
6PM-9PM: Teach my Speciality Course. I was really jazzed about this class but I've found that it is a tremendous drain to 1) teach at the end of a long day--2) talk to silent students who are at the end of their long day--3) talk to students who are reluctant to discuss (outloud) anything that is new and unfamiliar. (That's for another post).
9PM-10PM: Arrive back at home. Eat. Try to spend some quality date time with Dr. J before passing out. Every Tuesday I get home, I'm exhausted--no matter what adjustments I make to my schedule.
On Monday I told Dr. J that I hate Tuesdays. And I really meant it. Tuesdays shape the tone for my whole week, and I spend Wednesday and Thursday trying to recover. I like working out to start my day, but as the semester goes on, I've found all of my Wednesday gym time has been pushed from morning to late Wednesday night.
The good news is--we are halfway through the semester. Although my schedule next semester has its quirks, I won't be in this situation again. I've realized that as a department newbie, while it is important to be vigilant of your time commitments, it is also important that you are careful about guarding your schedule.
Technical Help Please
Man, you go away for a bit and everything changes. I'm playing with this new no-longer beta Blogger. Picked out a new look for the place. Looks like I'll be doing some housecleaning between stacks of papers this week.
Technical questions:
Technical questions:
- Can someone remind me of the code to keep search engines off my site?
- Also, any ideas on how to list all my labels??
Three Things All About Me Meme
Nothing like a good meme to make you feel like you're blogging again. As seen at Tamika's...
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Mon
2. Dr. Mon
3. HBB
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Sigmaphd
2. Deucesgrho
3. ????
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Sense of Humor
2. Common Sense
3. Sensitive Heart
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My ankles
2. My perfectionism
3. My cramps
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. African although of course I can't trace my lineage past slavery but I do know that my family most likely was brought here through Charleston, SC
2. British/European--my last name sure ain't African--belongs to a British family that had rice and tobacco plantations in NC and SC
3. Native American--my maternal great great grandmother was a Catawba
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Large bugs
2. Some small bugs
3. Drivers in Gorgeous City
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Conversations with Dr. J
2. Lotion
3. Sleep
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Football Jersey
2. Glasses
3. My engagement ring
THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE BANDS (or artists):
1. Kindred the Family Soul (ok a group not really a band)
2. Dave Matthews Band
3. Earth Wind and Fire
THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. "Lost Without You" Alan Thicke
2. "Take Me As I Am" Mary J. Blige
3. "Sexy Love" Ne-Yo
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Running on a treadmill
2. Twisting my hair
3. A new regiment to clear up my skin
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A (primary) RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Trust
2. Honesty
3. Friendship
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. Black History Month is in the shortest month of the year.
2. Black History was made during the Superbowl.
3. Black History Month is no longer needed.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT OTHERS THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Eyes
2. Shoulders
3. Cheeks
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Eat squash.
2. Pretend there is no more racism.
3. Watch network sitcoms.
THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE PASTIMES:
1. Sleeping
2. Shopping
3. Spending time with Dr. J
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Leave town
2. Find a wedding photographer
3. Finish all of my grading before Spring Break
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Staying in academe
2. Becoming an editor
3. Becoming a political consultant
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Hawaii
2. Mediterranean Cruise
3. Southern Carribbean
THREE KIDS' NAMES (that you like or know):
1. McKenzie
2. Aja
3. Ty
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Get married
2. Live with Dr. J
3. Make a difference in this community
THREE RECENTLY READ BOOKS:
1. Too Heavy a Load: Black Women in Defense of Themselves, 1894-1994
2. How Long? How Long?: African American Women in the Struggle for Civil Rights
3. Freedom's Daughters: The Unsung Heroines of the Civil Rights Movement from 1830 to 1970
THREE THINGS YOU'RE GOING TO DO THIS WEEKEND:
1. Travel
2. Grade
3. Sleep
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Mon
2. Dr. Mon
3. HBB
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Sigmaphd
2. Deucesgrho
3. ????
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Sense of Humor
2. Common Sense
3. Sensitive Heart
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My ankles
2. My perfectionism
3. My cramps
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. African although of course I can't trace my lineage past slavery but I do know that my family most likely was brought here through Charleston, SC
2. British/European--my last name sure ain't African--belongs to a British family that had rice and tobacco plantations in NC and SC
3. Native American--my maternal great great grandmother was a Catawba
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Large bugs
2. Some small bugs
3. Drivers in Gorgeous City
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Conversations with Dr. J
2. Lotion
3. Sleep
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Football Jersey
2. Glasses
3. My engagement ring
THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE BANDS (or artists):
1. Kindred the Family Soul (ok a group not really a band)
2. Dave Matthews Band
3. Earth Wind and Fire
THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. "Lost Without You" Alan Thicke
2. "Take Me As I Am" Mary J. Blige
3. "Sexy Love" Ne-Yo
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Running on a treadmill
2. Twisting my hair
3. A new regiment to clear up my skin
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A (primary) RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Trust
2. Honesty
3. Friendship
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. Black History Month is in the shortest month of the year.
2. Black History was made during the Superbowl.
3. Black History Month is no longer needed.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT OTHERS THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Eyes
2. Shoulders
3. Cheeks
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Eat squash.
2. Pretend there is no more racism.
3. Watch network sitcoms.
THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE PASTIMES:
1. Sleeping
2. Shopping
3. Spending time with Dr. J
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Leave town
2. Find a wedding photographer
3. Finish all of my grading before Spring Break
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Staying in academe
2. Becoming an editor
3. Becoming a political consultant
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Hawaii
2. Mediterranean Cruise
3. Southern Carribbean
THREE KIDS' NAMES (that you like or know):
1. McKenzie
2. Aja
3. Ty
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Get married
2. Live with Dr. J
3. Make a difference in this community
THREE RECENTLY READ BOOKS:
1. Too Heavy a Load: Black Women in Defense of Themselves, 1894-1994
2. How Long? How Long?: African American Women in the Struggle for Civil Rights
3. Freedom's Daughters: The Unsung Heroines of the Civil Rights Movement from 1830 to 1970
THREE THINGS YOU'RE GOING TO DO THIS WEEKEND:
1. Travel
2. Grade
3. Sleep
Coming Up for Air
I miss blogging. I miss a regular writing space. I miss reading what's going on with Ragey and Bright* and phd me and elle and Stewgad and all the gang.
Reality is these days I'm just trying to breathe. It seems that the many things pulling on a new young professor are catching up with me. My first semester was great--full of optimism and excitement. But lately, I've been suffering from some serious late winter blues--missing Dr. J--trying to stay on top of grading--dealing with the realities of being a teacher-scholar--just hasn't made this the best time of my first post-dissertation year.
But slowly I'm finding time for me. Since late December I've been working out three times a week (which is a BIG deal for anyone who knows my history of NO exercise). It feels good to take time for myself and each month I'm trying to add a little bit more good stuff for me and take out some of the unneccessary stress (like spending too many hours on grading). For the past month or so I've been taking more time in the morning to read and have breakfast. I'm not successful everyday yet, but it feels really good when I take time to start my day without rushing. I hope I can slowly incorporate blogging into my daily schedule again. It may be a while, but eventually I think I'll get there.
And of course, as we are approaching the one year mark to the wedding (how quickly these six months have gone by), I'm starting to feel the pressure to get things done for the wedding. We have a wonderful wedding consultant and we've made a deposit on our venue. Since Spring Break is coming up, I hope to get my dress ordered and start the work of looking for a photographer (something I know I'm going to be super picky about). I'm looking forward to the wedding, but I really just want to get to the point when Dr. J and I can be in the same place and start our life together. That's all I really want right now. And as much as I love Gorgeous City, it is starting to really become a drag being here without him.
Reality is these days I'm just trying to breathe. It seems that the many things pulling on a new young professor are catching up with me. My first semester was great--full of optimism and excitement. But lately, I've been suffering from some serious late winter blues--missing Dr. J--trying to stay on top of grading--dealing with the realities of being a teacher-scholar--just hasn't made this the best time of my first post-dissertation year.
But slowly I'm finding time for me. Since late December I've been working out three times a week (which is a BIG deal for anyone who knows my history of NO exercise). It feels good to take time for myself and each month I'm trying to add a little bit more good stuff for me and take out some of the unneccessary stress (like spending too many hours on grading). For the past month or so I've been taking more time in the morning to read and have breakfast. I'm not successful everyday yet, but it feels really good when I take time to start my day without rushing. I hope I can slowly incorporate blogging into my daily schedule again. It may be a while, but eventually I think I'll get there.
And of course, as we are approaching the one year mark to the wedding (how quickly these six months have gone by), I'm starting to feel the pressure to get things done for the wedding. We have a wonderful wedding consultant and we've made a deposit on our venue. Since Spring Break is coming up, I hope to get my dress ordered and start the work of looking for a photographer (something I know I'm going to be super picky about). I'm looking forward to the wedding, but I really just want to get to the point when Dr. J and I can be in the same place and start our life together. That's all I really want right now. And as much as I love Gorgeous City, it is starting to really become a drag being here without him.
Can We Get Back to Floating??
Between the end of the semester crunch and Dr. J's IRB drama that never ends, my general engagement bliss and marriage floating has been somewhat diminished. Dr. J and I do what we can to enjoy our engagement. Our phone/TV dates haven't ceased (if anything they have gotten a little longer), and we have had some good time together this month. We've looked at color swatches and watched a few wedding shows. But let's be honest--I want more! I'm eager for the holidays so we can spend some quality time together without the distractions of academic life. I think that the next two things on our list will be meeting with potential coordinators, finding a photographer for our engagement photos, and beginning to draft a guest list. We have an idea of how many people we want to invite, but I fear that until we start writing it down, we won't know how far or how close we are to our ideal. Most of all I just want to take my fiance out on a real date and get back to floating.
This grading final papers stuff is for the birds.
This grading final papers stuff is for the birds.
Happy Founder's Day
This post is dedicated to the beautiful women of the Rhoyal Blue and Gold--Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. as we celebrate 84 years of "Greater Service, Greater Progress." I hope that this is a beautiful day for my sorors across the country as we commit ourselves to be a beacon of light and to continue to excel in all endeavors of education.
On this Founder's Day, I have the privilege of speaking here in Gorgeous City in just a few hours. This will be my first Founder's Day keynote address and hopefully not my last!
Happy Founder's Day Sorors!!
On this Founder's Day, I have the privilege of speaking here in Gorgeous City in just a few hours. This will be my first Founder's Day keynote address and hopefully not my last!
Happy Founder's Day Sorors!!
Nice Reminder--Thank You
It has been very challenging of late to balance things in my life. The blog is quieter than I'd like it to be, my research is slow-going (if I'm not blogging then you know I'm not writing), my grading is behind more often then I like, and my weekends are spent either with wedding stuff or with just trying to enjoy being engaged and maintaining a healthy long-distance relationship. I've been feeling a little stressed to say the least.
Stopping by the blog tonight reminded me how relaxing and theraupetic it can be just to sit and write. I would love to say that this is going to motivate me to find more time to keep up my blog--but I know that is just going to be difficult this semester. Still, it is nice to take a moment to reminder the comfort of this space and to say thank you for the words of encouragement that appear on the blog every now and then such as this one:
It still surprises me to hear that my little life is at all inspirational, but thank you for these notes. I do hope that those of you who find the smallest inspiration from my story know that you inspire me to keep going--especially during times like this when things are overwhelming! Keep your head up, and I promise to do the same!
Stopping by the blog tonight reminded me how relaxing and theraupetic it can be just to sit and write. I would love to say that this is going to motivate me to find more time to keep up my blog--but I know that is just going to be difficult this semester. Still, it is nice to take a moment to reminder the comfort of this space and to say thank you for the words of encouragement that appear on the blog every now and then such as this one:
Hi,I have been reading your blog for a while now and I feel very inspired
reading your entries. I keep reading as it keeps me motivated to work towards my
dream of being a professor too. I am a Jamaican national living in Japan. I am
applying to grad schols right now its a very intimidating process for me. But I
press on. Reading your blog I feel like a whole new world has opened up for me.
There are so few women I have met who aspire to become a Professor.
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. All the best on your special day.
It still surprises me to hear that my little life is at all inspirational, but thank you for these notes. I do hope that those of you who find the smallest inspiration from my story know that you inspire me to keep going--especially during times like this when things are overwhelming! Keep your head up, and I promise to do the same!
Good Week
Dr. J has been in Gorgeous City since the retirement party last Saturday. Needless to say I've been in heaven and we've been very very busy! Of our few wedding planning weeks together, this week was definitely our most productive week. I think both of us feel reenergized and our excitement and enthusiasm is back after a brief lull of distance-related-emotions.
The biggest accomplishment of the week is that we finally (well I finally) decided on which city the wedding will be in. I've been wanting to have the wedding here in Gorgeous City because it is just that--gorgeous. But as we looked through our options, we found that the places we really liked were just outside of our budget or they only accomodated outdoor weddings (which I do not want). Dr. J has been very adamant about letting me know that choosing the city was up to me--that he would marry me wherever. Hometown was the obvious choice but frankly, I don't like Hometown. It is boring and largely unattractive and since I don't live there anymore, it means that I will have to take a nice drive every time a big arrangment needs to be made. BUT after looking around Hometown a bit, we found some options for location that we are both feeling good about. I can't go into too much detail yet because nothing is certain, but we can both now visualize getting married in Hometown well within our budget.
So it was a good week. I haven't gotten much grading down and my car is acting up--but a good week nonetheless. I'll be sad to see Dr. J go tomorrow.
The biggest accomplishment of the week is that we finally (well I finally) decided on which city the wedding will be in. I've been wanting to have the wedding here in Gorgeous City because it is just that--gorgeous. But as we looked through our options, we found that the places we really liked were just outside of our budget or they only accomodated outdoor weddings (which I do not want). Dr. J has been very adamant about letting me know that choosing the city was up to me--that he would marry me wherever. Hometown was the obvious choice but frankly, I don't like Hometown. It is boring and largely unattractive and since I don't live there anymore, it means that I will have to take a nice drive every time a big arrangment needs to be made. BUT after looking around Hometown a bit, we found some options for location that we are both feeling good about. I can't go into too much detail yet because nothing is certain, but we can both now visualize getting married in Hometown well within our budget.
So it was a good week. I haven't gotten much grading down and my car is acting up--but a good week nonetheless. I'll be sad to see Dr. J go tomorrow.
Busy Busy Busy
Well, Dr. Mon is back in high spirits. Dr. J is in Gorgeous City, and I couldn't be happier. Today is a chill day for us because the past few days have been very busy. (I should be working on research today but I'm not--sue me!) This past Friday was my mother's last day on the job--she is now officially retired from state government after 32 years of service. On Friday her job threw her a nice farewell party, but I was not able to attend because I was helping to get things together for the surprise party my family was going to throw her on Saturday. So on Friday afternoon, while my mother was at the office party, my mom's favorite cousin flew down from DC. Normally when she comes down, she stays at my mom's house. But since everything was a surprise, Favorite Cousin flew here to Gorgeous City. So Dr. J and I went to pick her up at the airport and she spent the day with us lovebirds as we ran errands around town. By the end of the day, we were all exhausted, and unfortunately we didn't get much sleep as we had to be up at 6:30AM Saturday.
Although I live the farthest from Hometown, I was enlisted to get my mother out of the house Saturday morning so that the family could set up the party. I really was annoyed, but fortunately there was a bridal shop that was going out of business in Hometown on Saturday so I told my mother I was going to come up so we could look at their dresses. Dr. J, Favorite Cousin, and I arrived in Hometown around10:ooAM and made a quick stop in a church parking lot to unload the presents out of my car and drop off Favorite Cousin with another cousin to wait while I got mom out of the house. Everything was running smoothly until I got home and my mother was cooking and being very slow about leaving. I told her that Dr. J and I had plans to see one of his friends who was in town for the day, so that got her moving and finally out of the house.
Mom and I went to the bridal shop that was going out of business and I tried on my very first wedding dresses there. The prices were incredible ($100-200 range) but the dresses didn't grab me. Fortunately, mom had one other store in mind--a new boutique in downtown Hometown. This was especially fortunate since I received a text message from Dr. J asking that I keep her out until at least 1:00PM! So mom and I headed downtown and as luck would have it, the owner of the boutique was free and didn't have another appointment for an hour.
This shop was exquisite. The dresses were all beautiful and the owner/designer was very kind, helpful, and knowledgable. It was clear that we were in a top-of-the-line type store, however, the prices ranged widely from $300-8000 so there was something for every budget. I tried on about six dresses and fell in love with three. Unfortunately, due to designer restrictions, we weren't able to take pictures of most of the dresses. I do have this photo of one of my favorites. It fits like a glove and is on sale because the designer has had a hard time finding anyone who can fit it (it is about a size 4 which I believe is a 2 in every day women's wear):
This will only be up for a second in the event Dr. J decides to read my blog on some whim--fortunately I can keep an eye on his computer usage today!
After feeling like a princess for a while, I finally received the okay to bring mom back home, but of course she wants to make one more stop--at the grocery store. Since she has no clue that we are having a cookout for her, she wants to pick up some more things to cook. I did my best to discourage her from making purchases at the store--but it was to no avail. When we finally return home around 1:30, as soon as she sees the cars around the house, she says "WHAT IS GOING ON??!!" Mom raced out of the car and went around to the back of the house and starts shoutin "Oh my GOODNESS" as she sees all the friends and family gathered together. She was so surprised to see Favorite Cousin and my Granny and Great-Aunt who traveled from out of town to attend. We had a great time at the party and my mother was just too tickled that Dr. J and I had tricked her. It was a good long, busy day and that was only the beginning of my busy busy weekend with my sweetheart...
Although I live the farthest from Hometown, I was enlisted to get my mother out of the house Saturday morning so that the family could set up the party. I really was annoyed, but fortunately there was a bridal shop that was going out of business in Hometown on Saturday so I told my mother I was going to come up so we could look at their dresses. Dr. J, Favorite Cousin, and I arrived in Hometown around10:ooAM and made a quick stop in a church parking lot to unload the presents out of my car and drop off Favorite Cousin with another cousin to wait while I got mom out of the house. Everything was running smoothly until I got home and my mother was cooking and being very slow about leaving. I told her that Dr. J and I had plans to see one of his friends who was in town for the day, so that got her moving and finally out of the house.
Mom and I went to the bridal shop that was going out of business and I tried on my very first wedding dresses there. The prices were incredible ($100-200 range) but the dresses didn't grab me. Fortunately, mom had one other store in mind--a new boutique in downtown Hometown. This was especially fortunate since I received a text message from Dr. J asking that I keep her out until at least 1:00PM! So mom and I headed downtown and as luck would have it, the owner of the boutique was free and didn't have another appointment for an hour.
This shop was exquisite. The dresses were all beautiful and the owner/designer was very kind, helpful, and knowledgable. It was clear that we were in a top-of-the-line type store, however, the prices ranged widely from $300-8000 so there was something for every budget. I tried on about six dresses and fell in love with three. Unfortunately, due to designer restrictions, we weren't able to take pictures of most of the dresses. I do have this photo of one of my favorites. It fits like a glove and is on sale because the designer has had a hard time finding anyone who can fit it (it is about a size 4 which I believe is a 2 in every day women's wear):
This will only be up for a second in the event Dr. J decides to read my blog on some whim--fortunately I can keep an eye on his computer usage today!
After feeling like a princess for a while, I finally received the okay to bring mom back home, but of course she wants to make one more stop--at the grocery store. Since she has no clue that we are having a cookout for her, she wants to pick up some more things to cook. I did my best to discourage her from making purchases at the store--but it was to no avail. When we finally return home around 1:30, as soon as she sees the cars around the house, she says "WHAT IS GOING ON??!!" Mom raced out of the car and went around to the back of the house and starts shoutin "Oh my GOODNESS" as she sees all the friends and family gathered together. She was so surprised to see Favorite Cousin and my Granny and Great-Aunt who traveled from out of town to attend. We had a great time at the party and my mother was just too tickled that Dr. J and I had tricked her. It was a good long, busy day and that was only the beginning of my busy busy weekend with my sweetheart...
Low Moments
I had a wonderful trip through the mountains to see Dr. J in University Town. On the way, I saw wild mountain goats for the first time and they were a good omen to a weekend of fun with my fiance. It was weird that it was the first time I'd seen him since the proposal/graduation weekend--but it was good and long overdue.
Since I returned to Gorgeous City late Monday night (a week ago now), I've been on a downward spiral emotionally. Every day it has been a little harder to get out of bed. A little harder to grade papers. A little harder to go to campus on time. Today I think I hit rock bottom. My house is a mess which well reflects how I'm feeling inside. I'm incredibly frustrated and overwhelmed at the moment by the distance in the relationship. It is hard to motivate myself to go to bridal events or call locations and vendors when I can't share these moments with Dr. J. I spent the last week throwing myself into school-related activities--keeping busy at every possible moment just to help time pass before Dr. J is in town again. But every activity I attended I was reminded that I wasn't sharing the moment with the one person I wanted to.
Today was my work-at-home day and unfortunately the solitude brought on this ocean of emotions that I just can't seem to swim my way out of. I'm trying to hang on until Dr. J arrives in a few days, but it makes me feel even more hopeless and pitiful that I can't seem to keep myself afloat alone.
Today was a low low moment in the generally high, happy, and positive love story of Dr. John and Dr. Mon. (At least on this end--Dr. J had a great day and I'm so proud of him for overcoming some IRB holdups for his diss). Unfortuantely, days like today make me feel like maybe I didn't make the best professional decision--maybe I'm in the wrong place--and maybe I'm not going to make it to a March 2008 wedding date without going crazy!
Since I returned to Gorgeous City late Monday night (a week ago now), I've been on a downward spiral emotionally. Every day it has been a little harder to get out of bed. A little harder to grade papers. A little harder to go to campus on time. Today I think I hit rock bottom. My house is a mess which well reflects how I'm feeling inside. I'm incredibly frustrated and overwhelmed at the moment by the distance in the relationship. It is hard to motivate myself to go to bridal events or call locations and vendors when I can't share these moments with Dr. J. I spent the last week throwing myself into school-related activities--keeping busy at every possible moment just to help time pass before Dr. J is in town again. But every activity I attended I was reminded that I wasn't sharing the moment with the one person I wanted to.
Today was my work-at-home day and unfortunately the solitude brought on this ocean of emotions that I just can't seem to swim my way out of. I'm trying to hang on until Dr. J arrives in a few days, but it makes me feel even more hopeless and pitiful that I can't seem to keep myself afloat alone.
Today was a low low moment in the generally high, happy, and positive love story of Dr. John and Dr. Mon. (At least on this end--Dr. J had a great day and I'm so proud of him for overcoming some IRB holdups for his diss). Unfortuantely, days like today make me feel like maybe I didn't make the best professional decision--maybe I'm in the wrong place--and maybe I'm not going to make it to a March 2008 wedding date without going crazy!
Over the Hills and Thru the Woods
Too much time has passed since my last trip to University Town to see Dr. J. For an assortment of reasons, both positive and negative, Dr. J has done most of the driving to see me in the past 6 months. I am so glad to finally be in a place (physically, emotionally, FINANCIALLY) to go and see him pretty much whenever I'd like to. Sure there is a bit longer drive now, but my beautiful schedule and my more stable paychecks mean that I can definitely take more opportunities to visit him in his final months in University Town. I am looking forward to just seeing his face after these few weeks apart.
I think sometimes about how it feels to be away from him, and I imagine it would only be a more intense pain if we were to marry soon and still be 300+ miles from each other. We are truly hoping and (more importantly) praying that our career paths will intersect as needed by the 2008-2009 school year. It is a little nerve-racking not to know the details at this point--but who doesn't want to know the future at some point or another? I mean, wouldn't that be handy! I'm no Dionne Warwick, but I do know that I am going to enjoy going out on a few dates with my fiance this weekend. And for now, that will do.
I think sometimes about how it feels to be away from him, and I imagine it would only be a more intense pain if we were to marry soon and still be 300+ miles from each other. We are truly hoping and (more importantly) praying that our career paths will intersect as needed by the 2008-2009 school year. It is a little nerve-racking not to know the details at this point--but who doesn't want to know the future at some point or another? I mean, wouldn't that be handy! I'm no Dionne Warwick, but I do know that I am going to enjoy going out on a few dates with my fiance this weekend. And for now, that will do.
My Autobiography
Given the increasingly personal nature of this space--why not! From Professing Mama's.
Directions: fill this out in your own words and repost as, "My autobiography."
1.Where did you take or get your profile picture? N/A
2.What exactly are you wearing right now? Aqua blue mesh T-shirt and Gray cropped sweatpants. I don't like cropped pants/capris as a rule, but my mom bought these for herself and was sadly mistaken to think she could wear them.
3.What is your current problem? Grading papers.
4.What makes you most happy? Being with Dr. J.
5.What's the name of the song that you're listening to? Nothing at the moment. Last song on the radio when I got out of the car tonight was Toni Braxton--Please.
6.Has anyone you've been really close with passed away? Yes.
7.Do you ever watch MTV? Not nearly as much as I once did. I've aged out of their target audience it seems. Sigh.
8.What's something that really annoys you? People who don't wash their hands--especially in public restrooms.
Chapter 1: All About You
1.Middle name: Mom's middle name with a different first letter
2.Nickname(s): Mon
3.Current location: Gorgeous City, Southeast USA
4.Eye color: A Beautiful Brown
Chapter 2:Family
1.Do you live with your parents: Not anymore! Finally!
2.Do you get along with your parent(s):Depends on who is around
3.Are your parents married/separated/divorced: No affiliation
4.Do you have any Siblings? No
Chapter 3: favorite...
1. Ice Cream: Snickerdoodle from Marble Slab (or some regular ol' chocolate chip cookie dough)
2.Season: Fall
3.Shampoo/conditioner: Dudley's The Shampoo and Moisturizing Conditioner.
Chapter 4: Do You..
1.Dance in the shower: No--that could be dangerous.
2.Write on your hand: No! That annoys me too.
3.Call people back: Depends--eventually--maybe. Ok no not really.
4.Believe in love: Of course I do!!
5.Sleep on a certain side of the bed: Seasonally.
6. Any bad habits: Procrastination!!
7. Any mental health issues? I'm definitely too hard on myself which leads to all types of issues.
Chapter 5: Have You...
1.Broken a bone: Nope.
2.Sprained stuff: Nope.
3.Had physical therapy?: Yes--for my shoulder.
4.Gotten stitches: Yes--for a keloid removed from my ear. And maybe one other time when I was younger, but I can't remember.
5.Taken Pain killers? Every month!
6.Gone SCUBA diving or snorkeling: Not yet. Although that whole Crocodile Hunter thing is really messing with my honeymoon ideas.
7.Been stung by a bee: I was stung by some unknown flying thing in my first year at College Town. It hurt like a mug but I don't think it was a bee.
8.Thrown up at the dentist: Uh no--weird question.
9.Sworn in front of your parents: Nope.
10.Had detention: Hmmm. Don't believe I did.
11.Been sent to the principal's office: Only to hang out.
12.Been called a ho? I don't know anyone that stupid.
Chapter 6: Who/What was the last
1.Movie(s): Talladega Nights.
2.Person to text you: Dr. J.
3.Person you called: Dr. J.
4.Person you hugged: A new colleague
5.Person you tackled? Dr. J--although I can't tackle him--I make very poor attempts from time to time.
6.Thing you touched: My couch.
7.Thing you ate: Some Cheez-Its.
8.Thing you drank: Orange Kool-Aid.
9.Thing you said: Bye.
10.Friend you miss the most that has moved: Since moving from Hometown, I miss my Sunday conversations with my cousin the most.
Directions: fill this out in your own words and repost as, "My autobiography."
1.Where did you take or get your profile picture? N/A
2.What exactly are you wearing right now? Aqua blue mesh T-shirt and Gray cropped sweatpants. I don't like cropped pants/capris as a rule, but my mom bought these for herself and was sadly mistaken to think she could wear them.
3.What is your current problem? Grading papers.
4.What makes you most happy? Being with Dr. J.
5.What's the name of the song that you're listening to? Nothing at the moment. Last song on the radio when I got out of the car tonight was Toni Braxton--Please.
6.Has anyone you've been really close with passed away? Yes.
7.Do you ever watch MTV? Not nearly as much as I once did. I've aged out of their target audience it seems. Sigh.
8.What's something that really annoys you? People who don't wash their hands--especially in public restrooms.
Chapter 1: All About You
1.Middle name: Mom's middle name with a different first letter
2.Nickname(s): Mon
3.Current location: Gorgeous City, Southeast USA
4.Eye color: A Beautiful Brown
Chapter 2:Family
1.Do you live with your parents: Not anymore! Finally!
2.Do you get along with your parent(s):Depends on who is around
3.Are your parents married/separated/divorced: No affiliation
4.Do you have any Siblings? No
Chapter 3: favorite...
1. Ice Cream: Snickerdoodle from Marble Slab (or some regular ol' chocolate chip cookie dough)
2.Season: Fall
3.Shampoo/conditioner: Dudley's The Shampoo and Moisturizing Conditioner.
Chapter 4: Do You..
1.Dance in the shower: No--that could be dangerous.
2.Write on your hand: No! That annoys me too.
3.Call people back: Depends--eventually--maybe. Ok no not really.
4.Believe in love: Of course I do!!
5.Sleep on a certain side of the bed: Seasonally.
6. Any bad habits: Procrastination!!
7. Any mental health issues? I'm definitely too hard on myself which leads to all types of issues.
Chapter 5: Have You...
1.Broken a bone: Nope.
2.Sprained stuff: Nope.
3.Had physical therapy?: Yes--for my shoulder.
4.Gotten stitches: Yes--for a keloid removed from my ear. And maybe one other time when I was younger, but I can't remember.
5.Taken Pain killers? Every month!
6.Gone SCUBA diving or snorkeling: Not yet. Although that whole Crocodile Hunter thing is really messing with my honeymoon ideas.
7.Been stung by a bee: I was stung by some unknown flying thing in my first year at College Town. It hurt like a mug but I don't think it was a bee.
8.Thrown up at the dentist: Uh no--weird question.
9.Sworn in front of your parents: Nope.
10.Had detention: Hmmm. Don't believe I did.
11.Been sent to the principal's office: Only to hang out.
12.Been called a ho? I don't know anyone that stupid.
Chapter 6: Who/What was the last
1.Movie(s): Talladega Nights.
2.Person to text you: Dr. J.
3.Person you called: Dr. J.
4.Person you hugged: A new colleague
5.Person you tackled? Dr. J--although I can't tackle him--I make very poor attempts from time to time.
6.Thing you touched: My couch.
7.Thing you ate: Some Cheez-Its.
8.Thing you drank: Orange Kool-Aid.
9.Thing you said: Bye.
10.Friend you miss the most that has moved: Since moving from Hometown, I miss my Sunday conversations with my cousin the most.
It is Fun to Be a Bride!
Today I got to walk around a big auditorium with a little heart sticker on my shirt that said "Bride." I went to the early church service this morning and then took a ride downtown to my first bridal show. It was a lot of fun--information overload--but fun. I got to see for the first time how vendors operate and how you can actually get a vibe for the types of services people provide. Since Dr. J and I don't even have a location yet, it was good to talk to vendors about the various venues they've worked at and I left with a long list of places (as well as some confirmations about a few places we were already considering).
I couldn't really capitalize completely on what was available today (some things like flowers and invitations and DJs--it was just too early to think about). But I did find a photographer that I really clicked with and his prices are well within our budget--his work is BEAUTIFUL and most of all I liked the pride that he took in his work. I do know a little about photography, and I was disappointed by the poor quality in some of the vendors' pictures as well as the more "corporate" attitude they had towards their business. The photographer I liked was there with his wife and they were both very personable and helpful to me with all the questions I had. Dr. J and I will definitely make an appointment to meet with them if we confirm our location for Gorgeous City. Most of the vendors indicated that since we are getting married in March 2008, we still have some time to secure good deals; however, they are already booked up for next spring and starting to fill for next summer and fall so they encouraged us to stay ahead of the gang. They definitely indicated that the good locations go quickly around here so I hope that Dr. J and I can secure a site by the end of October. It won't be a need to rush at all if we decide to get married in Hometown--there just isn't a high demand there.
In addition to a potential photographer, one of the few African American vendors there was a Mary Kay consultant. I had a great time talking with her and she has her own skincare salon. I have definite skin and hair issues that have worsened since I've moved back to the South. So it was good to make a connection with a professional woman of color who understands the unique skin issues that Black women have and the challenges of having a semi-natural hairstyle. She offered a free facial so I will definitely take her up on that soon. I would love to get my skin in better shape--especially the blemishes on my back that I am sometimes very self-conscious about.
Last but not least--I got a bag full of goodies today!! So I have my very own wedding tote bag after all. Sure it is not as "cutsie" but it will definitely serve the purpose. I was so overwhelmed with information that I didn't go through the bag when I got in--I think I'm going to wait until I see Dr. J at the end of the week.
I couldn't really capitalize completely on what was available today (some things like flowers and invitations and DJs--it was just too early to think about). But I did find a photographer that I really clicked with and his prices are well within our budget--his work is BEAUTIFUL and most of all I liked the pride that he took in his work. I do know a little about photography, and I was disappointed by the poor quality in some of the vendors' pictures as well as the more "corporate" attitude they had towards their business. The photographer I liked was there with his wife and they were both very personable and helpful to me with all the questions I had. Dr. J and I will definitely make an appointment to meet with them if we confirm our location for Gorgeous City. Most of the vendors indicated that since we are getting married in March 2008, we still have some time to secure good deals; however, they are already booked up for next spring and starting to fill for next summer and fall so they encouraged us to stay ahead of the gang. They definitely indicated that the good locations go quickly around here so I hope that Dr. J and I can secure a site by the end of October. It won't be a need to rush at all if we decide to get married in Hometown--there just isn't a high demand there.
In addition to a potential photographer, one of the few African American vendors there was a Mary Kay consultant. I had a great time talking with her and she has her own skincare salon. I have definite skin and hair issues that have worsened since I've moved back to the South. So it was good to make a connection with a professional woman of color who understands the unique skin issues that Black women have and the challenges of having a semi-natural hairstyle. She offered a free facial so I will definitely take her up on that soon. I would love to get my skin in better shape--especially the blemishes on my back that I am sometimes very self-conscious about.
Last but not least--I got a bag full of goodies today!! So I have my very own wedding tote bag after all. Sure it is not as "cutsie" but it will definitely serve the purpose. I was so overwhelmed with information that I didn't go through the bag when I got in--I think I'm going to wait until I see Dr. J at the end of the week.
The Organized Bride Planner
Organization for me is comforting--my own little anchor in the midst of a storm of chaos. I'm not as organized as I could be in one of my classes and it is driving me nuts. Hopefully I'll get back on track before the week is out. In the meantime, I'm determined to get organized about this wedding. We're on the Knot which has lots of great checklists, but I would really like a nice notebook or binder to keep stuff in. My good friend Tina, who got married in a beautiful resort in San Diego, made her own binder that was really nice. I'm organized--but not that creative. So I've been shopping around and a bride-to-be who chatted me up in the brides section of Barnes and Nobles suggested I look at Exclusively Weddings. She was right--they do have some nice things. But is this going over board?
I think it would be great to keep everything in one place but it is a little pricey. Should I splurge? I like the bag a lot though--will be great for the honeymoon too. Anything other good organizer ideas out there????
I think it would be great to keep everything in one place but it is a little pricey. Should I splurge? I like the bag a lot though--will be great for the honeymoon too. Anything other good organizer ideas out there????
Yup
| You Are Likely an Only Child |
 At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated. At work and school, you do best when you're organizing. When you love someone, you tend to worry about them. In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic. Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management. You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books. |
The Surreal Life
Sometimes it feels like a bad reality TV show around here. Yesterday, my place became the site of an HGTV "Design on a Dime" by my mom and our family and friends. They did a nice job adding some new touches to my place and rearranging the furniture--but goodness I am tired after all of that. My mom's friend Deb has a great eye for home design and event planning so she is coming back down to Gorgeous City in a few weeks to help me pick out some more accessories for my place. She is also going to be the go to woman for the wedding if we don't hire a consultant.
The wedding of course turned things into an episode of the Style channel's "Whose Wedding is it Anyways?"! I've learned that "they" already have a church and reception site picked out for us in Hometown and the family is not too keen on the idea of our getting married in Gorgeous City. I knew it was going to be an issue, but I hate feeling like I can't even consider what I want to do for my own wedding. Dr. J has deferred to me on the issue of location. He's a pretty traditional guy and would probably prefer if we got married in the bride's hometown. But I of course am anti-tradition and I hate my hometown (it is just not pretty and there's not a lot to do there for guests who come from out of town). Gorgeous City is just that--beautiful. There are so many options here and it is not that far from home. However, it is closer to Dr. J's family so the perception is already that we are trying to accommodate his family but not mine. I already see me beautiful vision of a Gorgeous City garden house or beach resort wedding is being ripped away from me and that sucks. It is already starting to feel like every other major event in my life that hasn't been about me but about the family. But I can't really even "fight" for anything right now because Dr. J and I haven't started looking. I hope that when we do, we'll just absolutely fall in love with a place and that will be that--whether it is here or in Hometown. I just want it to be a place that we pick--not a location that everyone else has decided on and we go along with. That would really suck--it would set a bad tone for me for this entire event--and increase my desire to just go somewhere and elope (which is what I always wanted to do--I've never been girly enough to dream about having a wedding day). So I'm having the freakin wedding in the first place to accommodate my family--shouldn't that be enough?? Apparently not. I foresee in the coming months, I'm just going to surrender the entire event to my mom and her friends and I'll just show up as needed. Sigh. At the end of the day I know I'll just give up--because I always do when it comes to my family (especially my mother), and I just want to get married to Dr. J with as little stress involved as possible.
In related news--we've picked a date. March 2008 it is!
The wedding of course turned things into an episode of the Style channel's "Whose Wedding is it Anyways?"! I've learned that "they" already have a church and reception site picked out for us in Hometown and the family is not too keen on the idea of our getting married in Gorgeous City. I knew it was going to be an issue, but I hate feeling like I can't even consider what I want to do for my own wedding. Dr. J has deferred to me on the issue of location. He's a pretty traditional guy and would probably prefer if we got married in the bride's hometown. But I of course am anti-tradition and I hate my hometown (it is just not pretty and there's not a lot to do there for guests who come from out of town). Gorgeous City is just that--beautiful. There are so many options here and it is not that far from home. However, it is closer to Dr. J's family so the perception is already that we are trying to accommodate his family but not mine. I already see me beautiful vision of a Gorgeous City garden house or beach resort wedding is being ripped away from me and that sucks. It is already starting to feel like every other major event in my life that hasn't been about me but about the family. But I can't really even "fight" for anything right now because Dr. J and I haven't started looking. I hope that when we do, we'll just absolutely fall in love with a place and that will be that--whether it is here or in Hometown. I just want it to be a place that we pick--not a location that everyone else has decided on and we go along with. That would really suck--it would set a bad tone for me for this entire event--and increase my desire to just go somewhere and elope (which is what I always wanted to do--I've never been girly enough to dream about having a wedding day). So I'm having the freakin wedding in the first place to accommodate my family--shouldn't that be enough?? Apparently not. I foresee in the coming months, I'm just going to surrender the entire event to my mom and her friends and I'll just show up as needed. Sigh. At the end of the day I know I'll just give up--because I always do when it comes to my family (especially my mother), and I just want to get married to Dr. J with as little stress involved as possible.
In related news--we've picked a date. March 2008 it is!
In a Knot
So the Mister and I have signed on to The Knot. (We don't have a personal page yet so I can't do even a brief reveal). The site is perfect for the person like me who needs to be extra organized and Dr. J loves it--he's the main one putting a flame to my behind to get started on this thing. You know, the planning for the wedding thing. But as I keep trying to express to him, it is hard for me to work without a deadline. And as of right now--we don't have a date. Ugh. It should not be this difficult to decide when we're going to get married. We know that to some extent, the date will depend on location availability (and we haven't narrowed down which city we're getting married in) and budget (and we don't know how much money we want to spend). But at the end of the day, I feel like those things don't matter very much. I need a freakin deadline to work with people. (Recall this dissertation--I need timelines).
Let me be more productive here. There are three main options:
Summer 2007: This is the expected/traditional choice. About a year from the proposal--maybe August.
Fall 2007: Given that we are both academics, a fall wedding would ideally occur sometime during a low-activity time of the semester--Fall Break, Thanksgiving, or Winter Break. Winter Break is the frontrunner in this option due to the extended time without class.
Spring 2008: Leaning toward some time around March so that we could honeymoon over Spring Break.
Now here is where things get complicated.
Summer 2007 (August):
Pros: 1) We get married as soon as possible. This is a virtually unbeatable pro and is the main reason summer is still a conversation. 2) Summer time means summer vacation--more friends and family can attend without a problem. 3) Summer time is a nice time for a honeymoon on the beach.
Cons: 1) Not a lot of time to plan--especially considering I am still figuring out new courses and Dr. J is navigating data collection issues at the moment. An August wedding would mean we would have to have some things lined up ASAP--which is a huge problem because one of the cities we are considering is a nationally known wedding site. 2) August is a peak travel/vacation time for the areas we are considering plus a popular wedding month--so prices will be up--availability will be low at the sites we are considering. 3) Dr. J is going to be starting his first full time academic job in 2007-2008--in a location other than Gorgeous City (formerly known as New School City). We will be at least 90 miles a part and I really don't want to get married and go back to living in two different places--especially if he takes a job out of state. 4) It is ridiculously hot and humid down here in the summer and I don't want to be in a dress with hosiery on--sweating. Not cute.
Fall 2007 (October-December):
Pros: 1) The weather will be a heck of a lot nicer. 2) It gives us more time to plan and save money for the wedding and for life after the wedding, while not feeling like it is a long time away. 3) It is not peak wedding or vacation season so we could have a lot more options and negotiate prices a lot better.
Cons: 1) At this stage, Dr. J is getting settled in to his first year and I know things will be hectic for him. 2) Let's keep it real--folks have tight budgets over the holidays and while it is not about the gifts--a sistah would like a blender or something! 3) Dr. J and I both have birthdays in December in addition to Christmas--do we really want to add an anniversary. 4) There is not a lot of time for a honeymoon and it would pretty much have to be over winter break. 5) We'd both have to report back to work in separate cities after the wedding for the rest of the year.
Spring 2008 (March):
Pros: 1) Allows the maximum time to plan--both for the wedding and married life--especially considering that right now we have no clue where Dr. J is going to be working. This would give us time to figure some things out--start a nest egg for the house--pay some debts--go through some couples classes together--all that good stuff. 2) The spring is a nice time of year and March is still ahead of the wedding season rush in this area (especially early March which is what we're thinking). 3) Because my institution has a gazillion semesters, I could possible work my courseload so that I am done by March--that way I could just stay with Dr. J for the rest of the spring and through the summer potentially.
Con: 1) It is far away. This is the biggest con on the board. 17 full months away seems like forever and neither of us knows if we can wait that long. 2) We don't know when spring break is going to be or if our institutions will have the same break--and do we really want to honeymoon on Spring Break? But beyond that, I can't remember if March had anymore cons--the first one just counts for like 6 or 7 cons by itself!
So that's where we are right now. I would probably like to make March work, but I can't commit myself to that--it is a long time away! We've given ourselves a deadline of Sept. 9th to narrow this down. We'll see how we do!
Let me be more productive here. There are three main options:
Summer 2007: This is the expected/traditional choice. About a year from the proposal--maybe August.
Fall 2007: Given that we are both academics, a fall wedding would ideally occur sometime during a low-activity time of the semester--Fall Break, Thanksgiving, or Winter Break. Winter Break is the frontrunner in this option due to the extended time without class.
Spring 2008: Leaning toward some time around March so that we could honeymoon over Spring Break.
Now here is where things get complicated.
Summer 2007 (August):
Pros: 1) We get married as soon as possible. This is a virtually unbeatable pro and is the main reason summer is still a conversation. 2) Summer time means summer vacation--more friends and family can attend without a problem. 3) Summer time is a nice time for a honeymoon on the beach.
Cons: 1) Not a lot of time to plan--especially considering I am still figuring out new courses and Dr. J is navigating data collection issues at the moment. An August wedding would mean we would have to have some things lined up ASAP--which is a huge problem because one of the cities we are considering is a nationally known wedding site. 2) August is a peak travel/vacation time for the areas we are considering plus a popular wedding month--so prices will be up--availability will be low at the sites we are considering. 3) Dr. J is going to be starting his first full time academic job in 2007-2008--in a location other than Gorgeous City (formerly known as New School City). We will be at least 90 miles a part and I really don't want to get married and go back to living in two different places--especially if he takes a job out of state. 4) It is ridiculously hot and humid down here in the summer and I don't want to be in a dress with hosiery on--sweating. Not cute.
Fall 2007 (October-December):
Pros: 1) The weather will be a heck of a lot nicer. 2) It gives us more time to plan and save money for the wedding and for life after the wedding, while not feeling like it is a long time away. 3) It is not peak wedding or vacation season so we could have a lot more options and negotiate prices a lot better.
Cons: 1) At this stage, Dr. J is getting settled in to his first year and I know things will be hectic for him. 2) Let's keep it real--folks have tight budgets over the holidays and while it is not about the gifts--a sistah would like a blender or something! 3) Dr. J and I both have birthdays in December in addition to Christmas--do we really want to add an anniversary. 4) There is not a lot of time for a honeymoon and it would pretty much have to be over winter break. 5) We'd both have to report back to work in separate cities after the wedding for the rest of the year.
Spring 2008 (March):
Pros: 1) Allows the maximum time to plan--both for the wedding and married life--especially considering that right now we have no clue where Dr. J is going to be working. This would give us time to figure some things out--start a nest egg for the house--pay some debts--go through some couples classes together--all that good stuff. 2) The spring is a nice time of year and March is still ahead of the wedding season rush in this area (especially early March which is what we're thinking). 3) Because my institution has a gazillion semesters, I could possible work my courseload so that I am done by March--that way I could just stay with Dr. J for the rest of the spring and through the summer potentially.
Con: 1) It is far away. This is the biggest con on the board. 17 full months away seems like forever and neither of us knows if we can wait that long. 2) We don't know when spring break is going to be or if our institutions will have the same break--and do we really want to honeymoon on Spring Break? But beyond that, I can't remember if March had anymore cons--the first one just counts for like 6 or 7 cons by itself!
So that's where we are right now. I would probably like to make March work, but I can't commit myself to that--it is a long time away! We've given ourselves a deadline of Sept. 9th to narrow this down. We'll see how we do!
Ch-Ch-Ch Changes!
It is a new semester and a new adventure in my life is beginning. So you know what that means--time for a new look for the blog! It's girly, it's crisp, and it's just about Tiffany Blue! It's perfect for the new direction for this space.
After I finished the dissertation, I found myself struggling to write--I felt myself going all over the place. That was especially difficult given that this blog started as so focused and goal-oriented. My time away from the blog has been good. I miss writing every day--I miss the community--I miss the time to sit and focus and think about my day.
So I'm coming back to blogging again. This time with a different focus--planning for a wedding and planning for a life with the wonderful Dr. J. This space will probably be much more personal than it was last year--and I think I am okay with that as it was already starting to move in a more personal direction. The one thing I think will be missing the most from this revised blog is that I won't talk so much about university life here. Life in academia will probably only arise as it relates to Dr. J and I preparing for our dual academic careers together.
I've realized that I need a different space to talk about university life--one with more privacy--one that speaks to a very particular audience--one that I can start after I've been on the job a bit longer. I've only been in classes for two weeks now (and it is going great and I love it), and I just want to take some time to experience it for a while before I figure out how to incorporate blogging into that aspect of my life. I know I'm going to want an academic space in the future; I already have questions that I would like to discuss/think through in a public forum type fashion. I especially would like to blend my interests in race and gender and politics into a blog--just not yet.
So for now, this is a new start. Welcome to my so-called engaged life.
After I finished the dissertation, I found myself struggling to write--I felt myself going all over the place. That was especially difficult given that this blog started as so focused and goal-oriented. My time away from the blog has been good. I miss writing every day--I miss the community--I miss the time to sit and focus and think about my day.
So I'm coming back to blogging again. This time with a different focus--planning for a wedding and planning for a life with the wonderful Dr. J. This space will probably be much more personal than it was last year--and I think I am okay with that as it was already starting to move in a more personal direction. The one thing I think will be missing the most from this revised blog is that I won't talk so much about university life here. Life in academia will probably only arise as it relates to Dr. J and I preparing for our dual academic careers together.
I've realized that I need a different space to talk about university life--one with more privacy--one that speaks to a very particular audience--one that I can start after I've been on the job a bit longer. I've only been in classes for two weeks now (and it is going great and I love it), and I just want to take some time to experience it for a while before I figure out how to incorporate blogging into that aspect of my life. I know I'm going to want an academic space in the future; I already have questions that I would like to discuss/think through in a public forum type fashion. I especially would like to blend my interests in race and gender and politics into a blog--just not yet.
So for now, this is a new start. Welcome to my so-called engaged life.
So Much To Say
(Understatement follows). This has been quite a week. Between the engagement, graduation, and faculty orientation, I am quite overwhelmed right now!
Many many thanks for all the well wishes on our engagement. I have enjoyed finding out all the things Dr. J was going behind my back when he was allegedly working on dissertation business. The story of him going to meet with my mother last Tuesday is a great one, but I don't have the energy to go into that now. Dr. J and I are doing great and trying to do our best to enjoy this time. Unfortunately he is already gone back to University Town, and I miss him dearly. These next few months of long distance relationship status are going to be rough but hopefully they will go by quickly. No wedding date is set as of yet, although we are looking at a 12-18 month window. I'm trying to keep planning and thinking-about-planning to a minimum right now.
School is getting underway here, and I am rushing to complete all the items on my to-do list. I am behind in a very un-Mon-like fashion. But I am enjoying meeting my new colleagues, and I think I am transitioning well into this new faculty role.
I have been thinking a lot about transitioning out of this blogspace. I have found it increasingly difficult to write here--for no other reason than suddenly this blog is a little "theme-less" to me. It was easy to write every day when it was just about the dissertation, but now that my life is turning in so many different directions, personally and professionally, this space feels very fragmented to me. There may be a wedding planning blog in my future as well as an academic one, but I really can't say right now. I do feel like I should keep an online space--especially after the delurking that went on this week (thanks to those of you who commented for the first time)! But I really need to figure out how, where, and to what extent I want to change my blogging. So when I'm sitting in boring orientation meetings this week, I'll have something to think about.
In the meantime, I was really touched to return to my blog and find this comment that was left regarding this post:
Many many thanks for all the well wishes on our engagement. I have enjoyed finding out all the things Dr. J was going behind my back when he was allegedly working on dissertation business. The story of him going to meet with my mother last Tuesday is a great one, but I don't have the energy to go into that now. Dr. J and I are doing great and trying to do our best to enjoy this time. Unfortunately he is already gone back to University Town, and I miss him dearly. These next few months of long distance relationship status are going to be rough but hopefully they will go by quickly. No wedding date is set as of yet, although we are looking at a 12-18 month window. I'm trying to keep planning and thinking-about-planning to a minimum right now.
School is getting underway here, and I am rushing to complete all the items on my to-do list. I am behind in a very un-Mon-like fashion. But I am enjoying meeting my new colleagues, and I think I am transitioning well into this new faculty role.
I have been thinking a lot about transitioning out of this blogspace. I have found it increasingly difficult to write here--for no other reason than suddenly this blog is a little "theme-less" to me. It was easy to write every day when it was just about the dissertation, but now that my life is turning in so many different directions, personally and professionally, this space feels very fragmented to me. There may be a wedding planning blog in my future as well as an academic one, but I really can't say right now. I do feel like I should keep an online space--especially after the delurking that went on this week (thanks to those of you who commented for the first time)! But I really need to figure out how, where, and to what extent I want to change my blogging. So when I'm sitting in boring orientation meetings this week, I'll have something to think about.
In the meantime, I was really touched to return to my blog and find this comment that was left regarding this post:
Anonymous said...I am greatly appreciative to this commenter for sharing this with me here, and it is certainly good motivation for me to reconsider why I blog and what I blog about. I am optimistic that I'll figure out my next stage for blogging soon.
i am writing to you from india - i am not a woman of color, here all of us are different shades of brown - but i am from a lower caste community. i could have passed off as upper caste, but somehow i took to interrogating caste in my academic life. i live in a upper caste dominated place. i still have not from my childhood to now, been taught by men or women of my caste. i cannot hope to find any for the next ten years also. today as i write this, i am very very sad. there is a conference going on here on caste and democracy and all the lower caste men and the upper caste women are conglomerating in different venues. i was left out of everything, mainly because i raise distasteful issues concerning mainstream academic politics. i cannot sleep and i cannot cry. i just sit here and read your blog and feel somewhat better. i know that in india no woman from my caste will write a blog like this - sometimes i wonder if i can go on, sometimes i promise myself that i will stay and struggle for all those coming up after me from so far behind. thanks a lot.
A Fairy Tale
A year ago yesterday, Dr. J and I went on our first date. We had been talking on the phone for hours for a little less than a week, and I was looking forward to this lunch with him. He was incredibly nervous (although it didn't show to much), but by the end of the day, we both knew that there was definitely something unmistakably magical between us. Although Dr. J and I generally remember the 4th of August (the first day we met), August 9th is our true "anniversary" date--it was the day we knew we were a couple. We had a talk not too long ago about if in the future we should "celebrate" the 4th or the 9th and decided on the 9th. So it was good to have Dr. J in town for this special day. His schedule has been busy this week with dissertation stuff (or so I thought), so it was nice to get our celebration started with a nice dinner Tuesday night (recipe to come B*). I had picked up a bottle of Reisling and also baked a lil chocolate cake, so Dr. J was surprised when he got in Tuesday night. We laughed and talked and danced together until the wee hours of the morning.
Yesterday morning, we were a little slow getting started--we actually slept for a while which was good. We danced to the anniversary song and got out and ran a few errands. We went to see Ricky Bobby and laughed as loud as we wanted because we had this big stadium theatre all to ourselves (it was about one in the afternoon). Our plan was to catch an early dinner at the first restaurant we ever went to here in New School City (a beautiful place on the waterfront). But right after we left the movie, a huge thunderstorm came up. It was pretty bad and delayed our dinner plans an hour. Fortunately, the restaurant screwed up our reservation time (they had us down for 7:00 instead of 6:00) so we when arrived, we were actually on time. Dr. J and I had a wonderfully romantic dinner--just like our first time there and the rain looked like it was going to let up, but it only did a little.
So we had a bit of a quandary. Our first visit to this particular restaurant was followed by a walk on New School City's famous downtown waterfront area. I really wanted to go down and sit at the pier so I said let's go anyway. It really worked out that it was raining because that kept the tourists away. It is a beautiful spot on the water where it is normally hard to get a seat (and it is a covered area so it was dry where I wanted to sit and look at the water). So although Dr. J was acting a little agitated about the rain, we finally got a parking space and got settled downtown at a nice spot on the water. The rain also meant that there was a cool breeze, so we just cuddled together and talked about what a great day and great year we had together. We were just floating in our own sweet confessions of love as Dr. J began to tell me how he wished the night could end--with our favorite group singing to us:
As we talked about how wonderful that would be--a perfect ending to our day, Dr. J began to deliver for me a beautiful poem about how much he needed me and loves me. When he finished, I was (I thought) floating as high as I possibly could be at that moment. It was just so wonderful to be sitting in the middle of a beautiful night with the man that I love by God's big beautiful ocean. And as I was all caught up in the moment, in his love, in the night, Dr. J suddenly dropped to one knee and asked:
Mon, will you marry me?
My mouth dropped open--I think I actually first said "shut up" because I couldn't believe it. I was in complete awe as I began to laugh and squeal and kiss him and say Yes YES YES!! as he slipped the most perfect ring in the world on my little little finger. It is perfectly classically me in every way:
And man it is hard to show in a photo, but this lil bling bling sparkles--it is just perfect for my little hand:
Yesterday morning, we were a little slow getting started--we actually slept for a while which was good. We danced to the anniversary song and got out and ran a few errands. We went to see Ricky Bobby and laughed as loud as we wanted because we had this big stadium theatre all to ourselves (it was about one in the afternoon). Our plan was to catch an early dinner at the first restaurant we ever went to here in New School City (a beautiful place on the waterfront). But right after we left the movie, a huge thunderstorm came up. It was pretty bad and delayed our dinner plans an hour. Fortunately, the restaurant screwed up our reservation time (they had us down for 7:00 instead of 6:00) so we when arrived, we were actually on time. Dr. J and I had a wonderfully romantic dinner--just like our first time there and the rain looked like it was going to let up, but it only did a little.
So we had a bit of a quandary. Our first visit to this particular restaurant was followed by a walk on New School City's famous downtown waterfront area. I really wanted to go down and sit at the pier so I said let's go anyway. It really worked out that it was raining because that kept the tourists away. It is a beautiful spot on the water where it is normally hard to get a seat (and it is a covered area so it was dry where I wanted to sit and look at the water). So although Dr. J was acting a little agitated about the rain, we finally got a parking space and got settled downtown at a nice spot on the water. The rain also meant that there was a cool breeze, so we just cuddled together and talked about what a great day and great year we had together. We were just floating in our own sweet confessions of love as Dr. J began to tell me how he wished the night could end--with our favorite group singing to us:
As we talked about how wonderful that would be--a perfect ending to our day, Dr. J began to deliver for me a beautiful poem about how much he needed me and loves me. When he finished, I was (I thought) floating as high as I possibly could be at that moment. It was just so wonderful to be sitting in the middle of a beautiful night with the man that I love by God's big beautiful ocean. And as I was all caught up in the moment, in his love, in the night, Dr. J suddenly dropped to one knee and asked:
Mon, will you marry me?
My mouth dropped open--I think I actually first said "shut up" because I couldn't believe it. I was in complete awe as I began to laugh and squeal and kiss him and say Yes YES YES!! as he slipped the most perfect ring in the world on my little little finger. It is perfectly classically me in every way:
I LOVE the details of the ring--I keep finding little things about it that I love:
And man it is hard to show in a photo, but this lil bling bling sparkles--it is just perfect for my little hand:
Dr. J knows he could have given me a rubber band and I would be happy, but it is so nice to have a man in my life who not only loves me right, but also knows me--knows my taste and knows how to make me grin like a giddy schoolgirl. We laughed, we cried, we just had a wonderful night out on the pier and of course, it stopped raining as we sat there. That gave us a chance to walk around downtown, make important phone calls, and duck into a nice restaurant for a little Riesling and dessert. We came home and danced some more, and in the surprise of the evening, I had forgotten to give Dr. J his anniversary present and card--which he enjoyed very much.
It was a day I'll never forget. I feel like a princess, and I'm not coming down from this cloud for a while. I can't believe so many things are happening in my life right now--I feel so lucky--so blessed. I never thought I'd be here. But it feels great. It feels like a fairy tale and I love it.
Good and Busy
I cannot say enough how nice it is to have Dr. J. New School City is his hometown, but it was so nice to hear him say he was coming home--to me. We stayed up until probably 7 this morning--just talking about all sorts of things concerning us. It has been a while since we've done that, and I'm starting to feel it now. Somehow I still had the energy to do a good bit of shopping and cooking today (and I hate to cook). I made a nice salmon dish with yellow rice--I should have taken a picture of it like B* and ProfMe--next time I make it I definitely will.
In any event, Dr. J has some dissertation business to take care of while he's in town, so I'm trying to use the moments we aren't together to get things in order for classes. Preparing for this new course (new to me) is becoming a bit more time-consuming than I expected. Especially putting together assignment descriptions. I tried to find some similar assignments on-line, but I haven't had much luck. So for the most part, I'm starting from scratch. But I have about 75% of that work done. I want to get everything drafted at least before I head out of town for graduation this weekend. (Congrats to Melyssa who is also walkin the stage!) Unfortunately, I haven't made much progress on the book chapter that is due next week--hopefully the approaching deadline will light a fire under my behind before the week is out.
In any event, Dr. J has some dissertation business to take care of while he's in town, so I'm trying to use the moments we aren't together to get things in order for classes. Preparing for this new course (new to me) is becoming a bit more time-consuming than I expected. Especially putting together assignment descriptions. I tried to find some similar assignments on-line, but I haven't had much luck. So for the most part, I'm starting from scratch. But I have about 75% of that work done. I want to get everything drafted at least before I head out of town for graduation this weekend. (Congrats to Melyssa who is also walkin the stage!) Unfortunately, I haven't made much progress on the book chapter that is due next week--hopefully the approaching deadline will light a fire under my behind before the week is out.
Time Why You Walk Away?
I really don't know where my time has gone this week. I feel like I've been moving non-stop and today am I doing a little crashin and burnin. Fortunately, this week has been very productive and has gotten me even more excited and motivated for classes to start in the coming weeks.
Let's see, where did the time go??:
Let's see, where did the time go??:
- I finished the majority of my unpacking. The sofa company replaced the torn couch that they delivered when I moved in, but when they brought my new coffee table, it was damaged as well. So I'm still waiting on a new table. Sigh.
- Something is wrong with my personal laptop. It won't read any USB devices and it takes forever for Windows to load. In attempting to save the files that were on it, I discovered that the CD Burner no longer works either. Fortunately, I have my new laptop from the school and I finally figured out how to upload all the files from my old computer to this one. I still have not been able to recover my lost dissertation files though.
- My graduation invites were a big hit with the grandmothers--I can't decide which one is the proudest--they are both walking around like peacocks. I got to see both of them this past week when I went home to get my hair shaped up.
- My regalia is very regal--It was delivered to my hometown address so my mother has been taking care of it for me. I love my robes--they are going to be a pain to wear in this heat, but I'm looking forward to walking in them next Saturday, and wearing them again in a few weeks for our opening convocation.
- All of my paperwork has finally been processed from HR, so I was able to get my new ID card yesterday and made my first trip to the library (where the nice librarians all called me Professor Mon). I'm still looking for a few texts for fall, but mostly at this point, I'm trying to finalize my booklist for my spring seminar.
- I'm also trying to get the sources I need to finish this book chapter revision. My co-author has completely left this in my lap (she's gone out of the country) and I'm struggling with what to do to make this work.
- I've learned that there are a few too many stairs to climb to get to my office. But I love being in my office. They are prepping it right now for a good cleaning, so I probably won't be in there much this coming week. I need to spend some time figuring out what I want to put on the walls. Part of me wants to put up some real militant Black posters, but I don't want to scare the children. Any suggestions on office decorations??
- I've watched quite a bit of TV since I've been here. Why did I sign up for all these channels????
- I had a wonderful time meeting some faculty members and students of color yesterday. There was a minority student program that I stopped in on, and I was given the opportunity to introduce myself to the students. It was cool to see their reactions to me--an combination of disbelief, excitement, and admiration. After the program was over, a few of the students in my major came to introduce themselves to me. More than anything else that has happened since I've arrived, meeting those students made me feel like I'm in the right place--like this is the one thing more than anything else in the world that I'm supposed to be doing right now.
- Dr. J and I met a year ago yesterday. He sent me beautiful roses yesterday morning and they are just gorgeous. It was rough not having him here yesterday--that was the only downside to this week. But fortunately I'll get to see him soon. We haven't been out on a date in a while, so I'm looking forward to us finding some nice romantic spots here in New School City. This city is known for its great food, so I'm sure we'll have a wonderful time trying out places while I'm here and finding "our" spot.
All of the business of the week has been great, but scary. This is just the beginning.
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