In a Knot

So the Mister and I have signed on to The Knot. (We don't have a personal page yet so I can't do even a brief reveal). The site is perfect for the person like me who needs to be extra organized and Dr. J loves it--he's the main one putting a flame to my behind to get started on this thing. You know, the planning for the wedding thing. But as I keep trying to express to him, it is hard for me to work without a deadline. And as of right now--we don't have a date. Ugh. It should not be this difficult to decide when we're going to get married. We know that to some extent, the date will depend on location availability (and we haven't narrowed down which city we're getting married in) and budget (and we don't know how much money we want to spend). But at the end of the day, I feel like those things don't matter very much. I need a freakin deadline to work with people. (Recall this dissertation--I need timelines).

Let me be more productive here. There are three main options:

Summer 2007: This is the expected/traditional choice. About a year from the proposal--maybe August.

Fall 2007: Given that we are both academics, a fall wedding would ideally occur sometime during a low-activity time of the semester--Fall Break, Thanksgiving, or Winter Break. Winter Break is the frontrunner in this option due to the extended time without class.

Spring 2008: Leaning toward some time around March so that we could honeymoon over Spring Break.

Now here is where things get complicated.

Summer 2007 (August):
Pros: 1) We get married as soon as possible. This is a virtually unbeatable pro and is the main reason summer is still a conversation. 2) Summer time means summer vacation--more friends and family can attend without a problem. 3) Summer time is a nice time for a honeymoon on the beach.
Cons: 1) Not a lot of time to plan--especially considering I am still figuring out new courses and Dr. J is navigating data collection issues at the moment. An August wedding would mean we would have to have some things lined up ASAP--which is a huge problem because one of the cities we are considering is a nationally known wedding site. 2) August is a peak travel/vacation time for the areas we are considering plus a popular wedding month--so prices will be up--availability will be low at the sites we are considering. 3) Dr. J is going to be starting his first full time academic job in 2007-2008--in a location other than Gorgeous City (formerly known as New School City). We will be at least 90 miles a part and I really don't want to get married and go back to living in two different places--especially if he takes a job out of state. 4) It is ridiculously hot and humid down here in the summer and I don't want to be in a dress with hosiery on--sweating. Not cute.

Fall 2007 (October-December):
Pros: 1) The weather will be a heck of a lot nicer. 2) It gives us more time to plan and save money for the wedding and for life after the wedding, while not feeling like it is a long time away. 3) It is not peak wedding or vacation season so we could have a lot more options and negotiate prices a lot better.
Cons: 1) At this stage, Dr. J is getting settled in to his first year and I know things will be hectic for him. 2) Let's keep it real--folks have tight budgets over the holidays and while it is not about the gifts--a sistah would like a blender or something! 3) Dr. J and I both have birthdays in December in addition to Christmas--do we really want to add an anniversary. 4) There is not a lot of time for a honeymoon and it would pretty much have to be over winter break. 5) We'd both have to report back to work in separate cities after the wedding for the rest of the year.

Spring 2008 (March):
Pros: 1) Allows the maximum time to plan--both for the wedding and married life--especially considering that right now we have no clue where Dr. J is going to be working. This would give us time to figure some things out--start a nest egg for the house--pay some debts--go through some couples classes together--all that good stuff. 2) The spring is a nice time of year and March is still ahead of the wedding season rush in this area (especially early March which is what we're thinking). 3) Because my institution has a gazillion semesters, I could possible work my courseload so that I am done by March--that way I could just stay with Dr. J for the rest of the spring and through the summer potentially.
Con: 1) It is far away. This is the biggest con on the board. 17 full months away seems like forever and neither of us knows if we can wait that long. 2) We don't know when spring break is going to be or if our institutions will have the same break--and do we really want to honeymoon on Spring Break? But beyond that, I can't remember if March had anymore cons--the first one just counts for like 6 or 7 cons by itself!

So that's where we are right now. I would probably like to make March work, but I can't commit myself to that--it is a long time away! We've given ourselves a deadline of Sept. 9th to narrow this down. We'll see how we do!