The other thing that had my mind doing flips was this documentary. I picked it up at work today because I saw Darlene Clark Hine on the cassette cover (yeah it was VHS). Shattering the Silence is one of those good PBS programs you hate you missed the first time (the entire transcript is available here). The filmakers talk with a number of scholars of color about their experiences in academia. So much of what they had to say really resonated with me, and I found myself asking, "Am I really ready to start my first semester as a minority faculty member?" I am glad that I decided to come back South and stay South so that I don't have to deal with the issues of isolation Hine discusses in the film that come with teaching in predominantly White college town/Big-10 type environments. But I could identify with the small numbers within the campus and the attitudes that accompany some majority faculty members/students. It is still frustrating to know that no matter how welcoming my department is, there may still be the perception among some that because I am a Black woman researching about Black women--my position and my scholarship are just the product of politics. As Alex Saragoza says in the film:
Because I am associated with Chicano Studies, where many people on this campus assume we do second rate scholarship and third rate research and that most of us are probably fourth rate teachers and so on. . . It's a continuous process of proving myself, including to students.I do not want to be pessimistic going into my job, but I know that attitude still exists; I've been dealing since I started this scholarship business. As in anything of course, I can only be me--people will think what they think regardless. My desire is to be an excellent teacher and an excellent scholar (in my own time). It was encouraging to see a phenomenal scholar-teacher like Robin D. G. Kelley interact and inspire students. It was encouraging to see women faculty of color meeting together and supporting each other. But at the same time, you see Kelley's mentor, Nell Painter, telling him that he must say no, as he is overrun with committees, work, and student mentoring. You see his wife's frustration as he talks about how he has completing some deadlines--which for her means he is now open for new ones. He openly discusses how his office hours are like a circus as students feel more comfortable approaching him because of his age on a gamut of personal and intellectual issues. And of course, Black students seek him out especially.
These things excite me and continue to send my mind spinning. Will it be like that for me in New School City? Will I ever get a moment to myself when I'm on campus? But more importantly this film motivates me to think about the larger issues and questions such as: What are my priorities as a teacher-scholar? How do I want to spend my time as a minority faculty member? What are my limits? What is it I want to contribute, to my field, to my students, to my univeristy, to the community? How will I balance (not juggle) the responsibilities and opportunities that come with this new position????
My mind is getting a good work-out over here--just more questions than answers at the moment.
5 comments:
You raise some interesting points...ones that I've pondered as I've navigated this academic lifestly as well. I, unlike you, don't research blacks so I don't have that going against me, so to speak*. I do, however, understand your thought process. I've been having a dialogue with a friend of mine about the issue of so few blacks in the academy and how we navigate that. An article is ruminating in my mind abou this very issue. In fact, I know of an article that may be of interest to you written by some colleagues. It is about how they identify themselves in the academy as blacks and their journey through graduate school.
*Not that I think that researching blacks is a bad thing or that it will go against you. I just recognize what you say in your post about, sort of, a double negative in your corner being that you are black and your research is about blacks.
Excellent post.
The identity politics of the academy have always fascinated me.
When I arrived at my current university, the director of the program had been kind enough to go out of his way to secure teaching positions for us in other departments and programs (ours doesn't have an undergraduate component). It was easy to see, howevever, how the jobs were divvied up: the two African-American women were assigned to Afr-Am. Studies, the three people of Latino descent (even though one, as an Ecuadorian, didn't consider himself "Latino") were sent to Chicana/o Studies, the half-Vietnamese woman went to Asian-American Studies, and I, the sole white person in my cohort, was sent--where else?--to the English department. These assignments didn't necessarily match up with our academic backgrounds.
Thanks for mentioning Shattering the Silence--I'll have to get my hands on a copy.
Ragey--Your * comment is really compelling and deserves another post. When I first wrote the post, I had a line to follow up my research that said something like--fortunately I am in a cognate discipline and my teaching centers on some of the academy's most bread and butter subjects. But I took that line out because I was uncomfortable with the argument that I am in a "better" position because I don't teach in an ethnic studies department. I do recognize that means I am a little "safer" but I don't know how to express that without discomfort. Race matters. Gender matters. Regardless of where we sit in the academy. I think. I know you feel me. Send me the article ref on email.
BB--I've only read parts of Freedom Dreams--the film definitely made me want to go back and read his work. Did you know he was a full professor at 32 and has written something like 7 books and 100+ essays and articles???
Trill--you have to post more about this given your own interdisciplinary insight!!
Race matters. Gender matters. Regardless of where we sit in the academy.
I totally agree. Those things matter no matter what.
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