I miss blogging. I miss a regular writing space. I miss reading what's going on with Ragey and Bright* and phd me and elle and Stewgad and all the gang.
Reality is these days I'm just trying to breathe. It seems that the many things pulling on a new young professor are catching up with me. My first semester was great--full of optimism and excitement. But lately, I've been suffering from some serious late winter blues--missing Dr. J--trying to stay on top of grading--dealing with the realities of being a teacher-scholar--just hasn't made this the best time of my first post-dissertation year.
But slowly I'm finding time for me. Since late December I've been working out three times a week (which is a BIG deal for anyone who knows my history of NO exercise). It feels good to take time for myself and each month I'm trying to add a little bit more good stuff for me and take out some of the unneccessary stress (like spending too many hours on grading). For the past month or so I've been taking more time in the morning to read and have breakfast. I'm not successful everyday yet, but it feels really good when I take time to start my day without rushing. I hope I can slowly incorporate blogging into my daily schedule again. It may be a while, but eventually I think I'll get there.
And of course, as we are approaching the one year mark to the wedding (how quickly these six months have gone by), I'm starting to feel the pressure to get things done for the wedding. We have a wonderful wedding consultant and we've made a deposit on our venue. Since Spring Break is coming up, I hope to get my dress ordered and start the work of looking for a photographer (something I know I'm going to be super picky about). I'm looking forward to the wedding, but I really just want to get to the point when Dr. J and I can be in the same place and start our life together. That's all I really want right now. And as much as I love Gorgeous City, it is starting to really become a drag being here without him.
Can We Get Back to Floating??
Between the end of the semester crunch and Dr. J's IRB drama that never ends, my general engagement bliss and marriage floating has been somewhat diminished. Dr. J and I do what we can to enjoy our engagement. Our phone/TV dates haven't ceased (if anything they have gotten a little longer), and we have had some good time together this month. We've looked at color swatches and watched a few wedding shows. But let's be honest--I want more! I'm eager for the holidays so we can spend some quality time together without the distractions of academic life. I think that the next two things on our list will be meeting with potential coordinators, finding a photographer for our engagement photos, and beginning to draft a guest list. We have an idea of how many people we want to invite, but I fear that until we start writing it down, we won't know how far or how close we are to our ideal. Most of all I just want to take my fiance out on a real date and get back to floating.
This grading final papers stuff is for the birds.
This grading final papers stuff is for the birds.
Happy Founder's Day
This post is dedicated to the beautiful women of the Rhoyal Blue and Gold--Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. as we celebrate 84 years of "Greater Service, Greater Progress." I hope that this is a beautiful day for my sorors across the country as we commit ourselves to be a beacon of light and to continue to excel in all endeavors of education.
On this Founder's Day, I have the privilege of speaking here in Gorgeous City in just a few hours. This will be my first Founder's Day keynote address and hopefully not my last!
Happy Founder's Day Sorors!!
On this Founder's Day, I have the privilege of speaking here in Gorgeous City in just a few hours. This will be my first Founder's Day keynote address and hopefully not my last!
Happy Founder's Day Sorors!!
Nice Reminder--Thank You
It has been very challenging of late to balance things in my life. The blog is quieter than I'd like it to be, my research is slow-going (if I'm not blogging then you know I'm not writing), my grading is behind more often then I like, and my weekends are spent either with wedding stuff or with just trying to enjoy being engaged and maintaining a healthy long-distance relationship. I've been feeling a little stressed to say the least.
Stopping by the blog tonight reminded me how relaxing and theraupetic it can be just to sit and write. I would love to say that this is going to motivate me to find more time to keep up my blog--but I know that is just going to be difficult this semester. Still, it is nice to take a moment to reminder the comfort of this space and to say thank you for the words of encouragement that appear on the blog every now and then such as this one:
It still surprises me to hear that my little life is at all inspirational, but thank you for these notes. I do hope that those of you who find the smallest inspiration from my story know that you inspire me to keep going--especially during times like this when things are overwhelming! Keep your head up, and I promise to do the same!
Stopping by the blog tonight reminded me how relaxing and theraupetic it can be just to sit and write. I would love to say that this is going to motivate me to find more time to keep up my blog--but I know that is just going to be difficult this semester. Still, it is nice to take a moment to reminder the comfort of this space and to say thank you for the words of encouragement that appear on the blog every now and then such as this one:
Hi,I have been reading your blog for a while now and I feel very inspired
reading your entries. I keep reading as it keeps me motivated to work towards my
dream of being a professor too. I am a Jamaican national living in Japan. I am
applying to grad schols right now its a very intimidating process for me. But I
press on. Reading your blog I feel like a whole new world has opened up for me.
There are so few women I have met who aspire to become a Professor.
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. All the best on your special day.
It still surprises me to hear that my little life is at all inspirational, but thank you for these notes. I do hope that those of you who find the smallest inspiration from my story know that you inspire me to keep going--especially during times like this when things are overwhelming! Keep your head up, and I promise to do the same!
Good Week
Dr. J has been in Gorgeous City since the retirement party last Saturday. Needless to say I've been in heaven and we've been very very busy! Of our few wedding planning weeks together, this week was definitely our most productive week. I think both of us feel reenergized and our excitement and enthusiasm is back after a brief lull of distance-related-emotions.
The biggest accomplishment of the week is that we finally (well I finally) decided on which city the wedding will be in. I've been wanting to have the wedding here in Gorgeous City because it is just that--gorgeous. But as we looked through our options, we found that the places we really liked were just outside of our budget or they only accomodated outdoor weddings (which I do not want). Dr. J has been very adamant about letting me know that choosing the city was up to me--that he would marry me wherever. Hometown was the obvious choice but frankly, I don't like Hometown. It is boring and largely unattractive and since I don't live there anymore, it means that I will have to take a nice drive every time a big arrangment needs to be made. BUT after looking around Hometown a bit, we found some options for location that we are both feeling good about. I can't go into too much detail yet because nothing is certain, but we can both now visualize getting married in Hometown well within our budget.
So it was a good week. I haven't gotten much grading down and my car is acting up--but a good week nonetheless. I'll be sad to see Dr. J go tomorrow.
The biggest accomplishment of the week is that we finally (well I finally) decided on which city the wedding will be in. I've been wanting to have the wedding here in Gorgeous City because it is just that--gorgeous. But as we looked through our options, we found that the places we really liked were just outside of our budget or they only accomodated outdoor weddings (which I do not want). Dr. J has been very adamant about letting me know that choosing the city was up to me--that he would marry me wherever. Hometown was the obvious choice but frankly, I don't like Hometown. It is boring and largely unattractive and since I don't live there anymore, it means that I will have to take a nice drive every time a big arrangment needs to be made. BUT after looking around Hometown a bit, we found some options for location that we are both feeling good about. I can't go into too much detail yet because nothing is certain, but we can both now visualize getting married in Hometown well within our budget.
So it was a good week. I haven't gotten much grading down and my car is acting up--but a good week nonetheless. I'll be sad to see Dr. J go tomorrow.
Busy Busy Busy
Well, Dr. Mon is back in high spirits. Dr. J is in Gorgeous City, and I couldn't be happier. Today is a chill day for us because the past few days have been very busy. (I should be working on research today but I'm not--sue me!) This past Friday was my mother's last day on the job--she is now officially retired from state government after 32 years of service. On Friday her job threw her a nice farewell party, but I was not able to attend because I was helping to get things together for the surprise party my family was going to throw her on Saturday. So on Friday afternoon, while my mother was at the office party, my mom's favorite cousin flew down from DC. Normally when she comes down, she stays at my mom's house. But since everything was a surprise, Favorite Cousin flew here to Gorgeous City. So Dr. J and I went to pick her up at the airport and she spent the day with us lovebirds as we ran errands around town. By the end of the day, we were all exhausted, and unfortunately we didn't get much sleep as we had to be up at 6:30AM Saturday.
Although I live the farthest from Hometown, I was enlisted to get my mother out of the house Saturday morning so that the family could set up the party. I really was annoyed, but fortunately there was a bridal shop that was going out of business in Hometown on Saturday so I told my mother I was going to come up so we could look at their dresses. Dr. J, Favorite Cousin, and I arrived in Hometown around10:ooAM and made a quick stop in a church parking lot to unload the presents out of my car and drop off Favorite Cousin with another cousin to wait while I got mom out of the house. Everything was running smoothly until I got home and my mother was cooking and being very slow about leaving. I told her that Dr. J and I had plans to see one of his friends who was in town for the day, so that got her moving and finally out of the house.
Mom and I went to the bridal shop that was going out of business and I tried on my very first wedding dresses there. The prices were incredible ($100-200 range) but the dresses didn't grab me. Fortunately, mom had one other store in mind--a new boutique in downtown Hometown. This was especially fortunate since I received a text message from Dr. J asking that I keep her out until at least 1:00PM! So mom and I headed downtown and as luck would have it, the owner of the boutique was free and didn't have another appointment for an hour.
This shop was exquisite. The dresses were all beautiful and the owner/designer was very kind, helpful, and knowledgable. It was clear that we were in a top-of-the-line type store, however, the prices ranged widely from $300-8000 so there was something for every budget. I tried on about six dresses and fell in love with three. Unfortunately, due to designer restrictions, we weren't able to take pictures of most of the dresses. I do have this photo of one of my favorites. It fits like a glove and is on sale because the designer has had a hard time finding anyone who can fit it (it is about a size 4 which I believe is a 2 in every day women's wear):
This will only be up for a second in the event Dr. J decides to read my blog on some whim--fortunately I can keep an eye on his computer usage today!
After feeling like a princess for a while, I finally received the okay to bring mom back home, but of course she wants to make one more stop--at the grocery store. Since she has no clue that we are having a cookout for her, she wants to pick up some more things to cook. I did my best to discourage her from making purchases at the store--but it was to no avail. When we finally return home around 1:30, as soon as she sees the cars around the house, she says "WHAT IS GOING ON??!!" Mom raced out of the car and went around to the back of the house and starts shoutin "Oh my GOODNESS" as she sees all the friends and family gathered together. She was so surprised to see Favorite Cousin and my Granny and Great-Aunt who traveled from out of town to attend. We had a great time at the party and my mother was just too tickled that Dr. J and I had tricked her. It was a good long, busy day and that was only the beginning of my busy busy weekend with my sweetheart...
Although I live the farthest from Hometown, I was enlisted to get my mother out of the house Saturday morning so that the family could set up the party. I really was annoyed, but fortunately there was a bridal shop that was going out of business in Hometown on Saturday so I told my mother I was going to come up so we could look at their dresses. Dr. J, Favorite Cousin, and I arrived in Hometown around10:ooAM and made a quick stop in a church parking lot to unload the presents out of my car and drop off Favorite Cousin with another cousin to wait while I got mom out of the house. Everything was running smoothly until I got home and my mother was cooking and being very slow about leaving. I told her that Dr. J and I had plans to see one of his friends who was in town for the day, so that got her moving and finally out of the house.
Mom and I went to the bridal shop that was going out of business and I tried on my very first wedding dresses there. The prices were incredible ($100-200 range) but the dresses didn't grab me. Fortunately, mom had one other store in mind--a new boutique in downtown Hometown. This was especially fortunate since I received a text message from Dr. J asking that I keep her out until at least 1:00PM! So mom and I headed downtown and as luck would have it, the owner of the boutique was free and didn't have another appointment for an hour.
This shop was exquisite. The dresses were all beautiful and the owner/designer was very kind, helpful, and knowledgable. It was clear that we were in a top-of-the-line type store, however, the prices ranged widely from $300-8000 so there was something for every budget. I tried on about six dresses and fell in love with three. Unfortunately, due to designer restrictions, we weren't able to take pictures of most of the dresses. I do have this photo of one of my favorites. It fits like a glove and is on sale because the designer has had a hard time finding anyone who can fit it (it is about a size 4 which I believe is a 2 in every day women's wear):
This will only be up for a second in the event Dr. J decides to read my blog on some whim--fortunately I can keep an eye on his computer usage today!
After feeling like a princess for a while, I finally received the okay to bring mom back home, but of course she wants to make one more stop--at the grocery store. Since she has no clue that we are having a cookout for her, she wants to pick up some more things to cook. I did my best to discourage her from making purchases at the store--but it was to no avail. When we finally return home around 1:30, as soon as she sees the cars around the house, she says "WHAT IS GOING ON??!!" Mom raced out of the car and went around to the back of the house and starts shoutin "Oh my GOODNESS" as she sees all the friends and family gathered together. She was so surprised to see Favorite Cousin and my Granny and Great-Aunt who traveled from out of town to attend. We had a great time at the party and my mother was just too tickled that Dr. J and I had tricked her. It was a good long, busy day and that was only the beginning of my busy busy weekend with my sweetheart...
Low Moments
I had a wonderful trip through the mountains to see Dr. J in University Town. On the way, I saw wild mountain goats for the first time and they were a good omen to a weekend of fun with my fiance. It was weird that it was the first time I'd seen him since the proposal/graduation weekend--but it was good and long overdue.
Since I returned to Gorgeous City late Monday night (a week ago now), I've been on a downward spiral emotionally. Every day it has been a little harder to get out of bed. A little harder to grade papers. A little harder to go to campus on time. Today I think I hit rock bottom. My house is a mess which well reflects how I'm feeling inside. I'm incredibly frustrated and overwhelmed at the moment by the distance in the relationship. It is hard to motivate myself to go to bridal events or call locations and vendors when I can't share these moments with Dr. J. I spent the last week throwing myself into school-related activities--keeping busy at every possible moment just to help time pass before Dr. J is in town again. But every activity I attended I was reminded that I wasn't sharing the moment with the one person I wanted to.
Today was my work-at-home day and unfortunately the solitude brought on this ocean of emotions that I just can't seem to swim my way out of. I'm trying to hang on until Dr. J arrives in a few days, but it makes me feel even more hopeless and pitiful that I can't seem to keep myself afloat alone.
Today was a low low moment in the generally high, happy, and positive love story of Dr. John and Dr. Mon. (At least on this end--Dr. J had a great day and I'm so proud of him for overcoming some IRB holdups for his diss). Unfortuantely, days like today make me feel like maybe I didn't make the best professional decision--maybe I'm in the wrong place--and maybe I'm not going to make it to a March 2008 wedding date without going crazy!
Since I returned to Gorgeous City late Monday night (a week ago now), I've been on a downward spiral emotionally. Every day it has been a little harder to get out of bed. A little harder to grade papers. A little harder to go to campus on time. Today I think I hit rock bottom. My house is a mess which well reflects how I'm feeling inside. I'm incredibly frustrated and overwhelmed at the moment by the distance in the relationship. It is hard to motivate myself to go to bridal events or call locations and vendors when I can't share these moments with Dr. J. I spent the last week throwing myself into school-related activities--keeping busy at every possible moment just to help time pass before Dr. J is in town again. But every activity I attended I was reminded that I wasn't sharing the moment with the one person I wanted to.
Today was my work-at-home day and unfortunately the solitude brought on this ocean of emotions that I just can't seem to swim my way out of. I'm trying to hang on until Dr. J arrives in a few days, but it makes me feel even more hopeless and pitiful that I can't seem to keep myself afloat alone.
Today was a low low moment in the generally high, happy, and positive love story of Dr. John and Dr. Mon. (At least on this end--Dr. J had a great day and I'm so proud of him for overcoming some IRB holdups for his diss). Unfortuantely, days like today make me feel like maybe I didn't make the best professional decision--maybe I'm in the wrong place--and maybe I'm not going to make it to a March 2008 wedding date without going crazy!
Over the Hills and Thru the Woods
Too much time has passed since my last trip to University Town to see Dr. J. For an assortment of reasons, both positive and negative, Dr. J has done most of the driving to see me in the past 6 months. I am so glad to finally be in a place (physically, emotionally, FINANCIALLY) to go and see him pretty much whenever I'd like to. Sure there is a bit longer drive now, but my beautiful schedule and my more stable paychecks mean that I can definitely take more opportunities to visit him in his final months in University Town. I am looking forward to just seeing his face after these few weeks apart.
I think sometimes about how it feels to be away from him, and I imagine it would only be a more intense pain if we were to marry soon and still be 300+ miles from each other. We are truly hoping and (more importantly) praying that our career paths will intersect as needed by the 2008-2009 school year. It is a little nerve-racking not to know the details at this point--but who doesn't want to know the future at some point or another? I mean, wouldn't that be handy! I'm no Dionne Warwick, but I do know that I am going to enjoy going out on a few dates with my fiance this weekend. And for now, that will do.
I think sometimes about how it feels to be away from him, and I imagine it would only be a more intense pain if we were to marry soon and still be 300+ miles from each other. We are truly hoping and (more importantly) praying that our career paths will intersect as needed by the 2008-2009 school year. It is a little nerve-racking not to know the details at this point--but who doesn't want to know the future at some point or another? I mean, wouldn't that be handy! I'm no Dionne Warwick, but I do know that I am going to enjoy going out on a few dates with my fiance this weekend. And for now, that will do.
My Autobiography
Given the increasingly personal nature of this space--why not! From Professing Mama's.
Directions: fill this out in your own words and repost as, "My autobiography."
1.Where did you take or get your profile picture? N/A
2.What exactly are you wearing right now? Aqua blue mesh T-shirt and Gray cropped sweatpants. I don't like cropped pants/capris as a rule, but my mom bought these for herself and was sadly mistaken to think she could wear them.
3.What is your current problem? Grading papers.
4.What makes you most happy? Being with Dr. J.
5.What's the name of the song that you're listening to? Nothing at the moment. Last song on the radio when I got out of the car tonight was Toni Braxton--Please.
6.Has anyone you've been really close with passed away? Yes.
7.Do you ever watch MTV? Not nearly as much as I once did. I've aged out of their target audience it seems. Sigh.
8.What's something that really annoys you? People who don't wash their hands--especially in public restrooms.
Chapter 1: All About You
1.Middle name: Mom's middle name with a different first letter
2.Nickname(s): Mon
3.Current location: Gorgeous City, Southeast USA
4.Eye color: A Beautiful Brown
Chapter 2:Family
1.Do you live with your parents: Not anymore! Finally!
2.Do you get along with your parent(s):Depends on who is around
3.Are your parents married/separated/divorced: No affiliation
4.Do you have any Siblings? No
Chapter 3: favorite...
1. Ice Cream: Snickerdoodle from Marble Slab (or some regular ol' chocolate chip cookie dough)
2.Season: Fall
3.Shampoo/conditioner: Dudley's The Shampoo and Moisturizing Conditioner.
Chapter 4: Do You..
1.Dance in the shower: No--that could be dangerous.
2.Write on your hand: No! That annoys me too.
3.Call people back: Depends--eventually--maybe. Ok no not really.
4.Believe in love: Of course I do!!
5.Sleep on a certain side of the bed: Seasonally.
6. Any bad habits: Procrastination!!
7. Any mental health issues? I'm definitely too hard on myself which leads to all types of issues.
Chapter 5: Have You...
1.Broken a bone: Nope.
2.Sprained stuff: Nope.
3.Had physical therapy?: Yes--for my shoulder.
4.Gotten stitches: Yes--for a keloid removed from my ear. And maybe one other time when I was younger, but I can't remember.
5.Taken Pain killers? Every month!
6.Gone SCUBA diving or snorkeling: Not yet. Although that whole Crocodile Hunter thing is really messing with my honeymoon ideas.
7.Been stung by a bee: I was stung by some unknown flying thing in my first year at College Town. It hurt like a mug but I don't think it was a bee.
8.Thrown up at the dentist: Uh no--weird question.
9.Sworn in front of your parents: Nope.
10.Had detention: Hmmm. Don't believe I did.
11.Been sent to the principal's office: Only to hang out.
12.Been called a ho? I don't know anyone that stupid.
Chapter 6: Who/What was the last
1.Movie(s): Talladega Nights.
2.Person to text you: Dr. J.
3.Person you called: Dr. J.
4.Person you hugged: A new colleague
5.Person you tackled? Dr. J--although I can't tackle him--I make very poor attempts from time to time.
6.Thing you touched: My couch.
7.Thing you ate: Some Cheez-Its.
8.Thing you drank: Orange Kool-Aid.
9.Thing you said: Bye.
10.Friend you miss the most that has moved: Since moving from Hometown, I miss my Sunday conversations with my cousin the most.
Directions: fill this out in your own words and repost as, "My autobiography."
1.Where did you take or get your profile picture? N/A
2.What exactly are you wearing right now? Aqua blue mesh T-shirt and Gray cropped sweatpants. I don't like cropped pants/capris as a rule, but my mom bought these for herself and was sadly mistaken to think she could wear them.
3.What is your current problem? Grading papers.
4.What makes you most happy? Being with Dr. J.
5.What's the name of the song that you're listening to? Nothing at the moment. Last song on the radio when I got out of the car tonight was Toni Braxton--Please.
6.Has anyone you've been really close with passed away? Yes.
7.Do you ever watch MTV? Not nearly as much as I once did. I've aged out of their target audience it seems. Sigh.
8.What's something that really annoys you? People who don't wash their hands--especially in public restrooms.
Chapter 1: All About You
1.Middle name: Mom's middle name with a different first letter
2.Nickname(s): Mon
3.Current location: Gorgeous City, Southeast USA
4.Eye color: A Beautiful Brown
Chapter 2:Family
1.Do you live with your parents: Not anymore! Finally!
2.Do you get along with your parent(s):Depends on who is around
3.Are your parents married/separated/divorced: No affiliation
4.Do you have any Siblings? No
Chapter 3: favorite...
1. Ice Cream: Snickerdoodle from Marble Slab (or some regular ol' chocolate chip cookie dough)
2.Season: Fall
3.Shampoo/conditioner: Dudley's The Shampoo and Moisturizing Conditioner.
Chapter 4: Do You..
1.Dance in the shower: No--that could be dangerous.
2.Write on your hand: No! That annoys me too.
3.Call people back: Depends--eventually--maybe. Ok no not really.
4.Believe in love: Of course I do!!
5.Sleep on a certain side of the bed: Seasonally.
6. Any bad habits: Procrastination!!
7. Any mental health issues? I'm definitely too hard on myself which leads to all types of issues.
Chapter 5: Have You...
1.Broken a bone: Nope.
2.Sprained stuff: Nope.
3.Had physical therapy?: Yes--for my shoulder.
4.Gotten stitches: Yes--for a keloid removed from my ear. And maybe one other time when I was younger, but I can't remember.
5.Taken Pain killers? Every month!
6.Gone SCUBA diving or snorkeling: Not yet. Although that whole Crocodile Hunter thing is really messing with my honeymoon ideas.
7.Been stung by a bee: I was stung by some unknown flying thing in my first year at College Town. It hurt like a mug but I don't think it was a bee.
8.Thrown up at the dentist: Uh no--weird question.
9.Sworn in front of your parents: Nope.
10.Had detention: Hmmm. Don't believe I did.
11.Been sent to the principal's office: Only to hang out.
12.Been called a ho? I don't know anyone that stupid.
Chapter 6: Who/What was the last
1.Movie(s): Talladega Nights.
2.Person to text you: Dr. J.
3.Person you called: Dr. J.
4.Person you hugged: A new colleague
5.Person you tackled? Dr. J--although I can't tackle him--I make very poor attempts from time to time.
6.Thing you touched: My couch.
7.Thing you ate: Some Cheez-Its.
8.Thing you drank: Orange Kool-Aid.
9.Thing you said: Bye.
10.Friend you miss the most that has moved: Since moving from Hometown, I miss my Sunday conversations with my cousin the most.
It is Fun to Be a Bride!
Today I got to walk around a big auditorium with a little heart sticker on my shirt that said "Bride." I went to the early church service this morning and then took a ride downtown to my first bridal show. It was a lot of fun--information overload--but fun. I got to see for the first time how vendors operate and how you can actually get a vibe for the types of services people provide. Since Dr. J and I don't even have a location yet, it was good to talk to vendors about the various venues they've worked at and I left with a long list of places (as well as some confirmations about a few places we were already considering).
I couldn't really capitalize completely on what was available today (some things like flowers and invitations and DJs--it was just too early to think about). But I did find a photographer that I really clicked with and his prices are well within our budget--his work is BEAUTIFUL and most of all I liked the pride that he took in his work. I do know a little about photography, and I was disappointed by the poor quality in some of the vendors' pictures as well as the more "corporate" attitude they had towards their business. The photographer I liked was there with his wife and they were both very personable and helpful to me with all the questions I had. Dr. J and I will definitely make an appointment to meet with them if we confirm our location for Gorgeous City. Most of the vendors indicated that since we are getting married in March 2008, we still have some time to secure good deals; however, they are already booked up for next spring and starting to fill for next summer and fall so they encouraged us to stay ahead of the gang. They definitely indicated that the good locations go quickly around here so I hope that Dr. J and I can secure a site by the end of October. It won't be a need to rush at all if we decide to get married in Hometown--there just isn't a high demand there.
In addition to a potential photographer, one of the few African American vendors there was a Mary Kay consultant. I had a great time talking with her and she has her own skincare salon. I have definite skin and hair issues that have worsened since I've moved back to the South. So it was good to make a connection with a professional woman of color who understands the unique skin issues that Black women have and the challenges of having a semi-natural hairstyle. She offered a free facial so I will definitely take her up on that soon. I would love to get my skin in better shape--especially the blemishes on my back that I am sometimes very self-conscious about.
Last but not least--I got a bag full of goodies today!! So I have my very own wedding tote bag after all. Sure it is not as "cutsie" but it will definitely serve the purpose. I was so overwhelmed with information that I didn't go through the bag when I got in--I think I'm going to wait until I see Dr. J at the end of the week.
I couldn't really capitalize completely on what was available today (some things like flowers and invitations and DJs--it was just too early to think about). But I did find a photographer that I really clicked with and his prices are well within our budget--his work is BEAUTIFUL and most of all I liked the pride that he took in his work. I do know a little about photography, and I was disappointed by the poor quality in some of the vendors' pictures as well as the more "corporate" attitude they had towards their business. The photographer I liked was there with his wife and they were both very personable and helpful to me with all the questions I had. Dr. J and I will definitely make an appointment to meet with them if we confirm our location for Gorgeous City. Most of the vendors indicated that since we are getting married in March 2008, we still have some time to secure good deals; however, they are already booked up for next spring and starting to fill for next summer and fall so they encouraged us to stay ahead of the gang. They definitely indicated that the good locations go quickly around here so I hope that Dr. J and I can secure a site by the end of October. It won't be a need to rush at all if we decide to get married in Hometown--there just isn't a high demand there.
In addition to a potential photographer, one of the few African American vendors there was a Mary Kay consultant. I had a great time talking with her and she has her own skincare salon. I have definite skin and hair issues that have worsened since I've moved back to the South. So it was good to make a connection with a professional woman of color who understands the unique skin issues that Black women have and the challenges of having a semi-natural hairstyle. She offered a free facial so I will definitely take her up on that soon. I would love to get my skin in better shape--especially the blemishes on my back that I am sometimes very self-conscious about.
Last but not least--I got a bag full of goodies today!! So I have my very own wedding tote bag after all. Sure it is not as "cutsie" but it will definitely serve the purpose. I was so overwhelmed with information that I didn't go through the bag when I got in--I think I'm going to wait until I see Dr. J at the end of the week.
The Organized Bride Planner
Organization for me is comforting--my own little anchor in the midst of a storm of chaos. I'm not as organized as I could be in one of my classes and it is driving me nuts. Hopefully I'll get back on track before the week is out. In the meantime, I'm determined to get organized about this wedding. We're on the Knot which has lots of great checklists, but I would really like a nice notebook or binder to keep stuff in. My good friend Tina, who got married in a beautiful resort in San Diego, made her own binder that was really nice. I'm organized--but not that creative. So I've been shopping around and a bride-to-be who chatted me up in the brides section of Barnes and Nobles suggested I look at Exclusively Weddings. She was right--they do have some nice things. But is this going over board?
I think it would be great to keep everything in one place but it is a little pricey. Should I splurge? I like the bag a lot though--will be great for the honeymoon too. Anything other good organizer ideas out there????
I think it would be great to keep everything in one place but it is a little pricey. Should I splurge? I like the bag a lot though--will be great for the honeymoon too. Anything other good organizer ideas out there????
Yup
| You Are Likely an Only Child |
 At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated. At work and school, you do best when you're organizing. When you love someone, you tend to worry about them. In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic. Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management. You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books. |
The Surreal Life
Sometimes it feels like a bad reality TV show around here. Yesterday, my place became the site of an HGTV "Design on a Dime" by my mom and our family and friends. They did a nice job adding some new touches to my place and rearranging the furniture--but goodness I am tired after all of that. My mom's friend Deb has a great eye for home design and event planning so she is coming back down to Gorgeous City in a few weeks to help me pick out some more accessories for my place. She is also going to be the go to woman for the wedding if we don't hire a consultant.
The wedding of course turned things into an episode of the Style channel's "Whose Wedding is it Anyways?"! I've learned that "they" already have a church and reception site picked out for us in Hometown and the family is not too keen on the idea of our getting married in Gorgeous City. I knew it was going to be an issue, but I hate feeling like I can't even consider what I want to do for my own wedding. Dr. J has deferred to me on the issue of location. He's a pretty traditional guy and would probably prefer if we got married in the bride's hometown. But I of course am anti-tradition and I hate my hometown (it is just not pretty and there's not a lot to do there for guests who come from out of town). Gorgeous City is just that--beautiful. There are so many options here and it is not that far from home. However, it is closer to Dr. J's family so the perception is already that we are trying to accommodate his family but not mine. I already see me beautiful vision of a Gorgeous City garden house or beach resort wedding is being ripped away from me and that sucks. It is already starting to feel like every other major event in my life that hasn't been about me but about the family. But I can't really even "fight" for anything right now because Dr. J and I haven't started looking. I hope that when we do, we'll just absolutely fall in love with a place and that will be that--whether it is here or in Hometown. I just want it to be a place that we pick--not a location that everyone else has decided on and we go along with. That would really suck--it would set a bad tone for me for this entire event--and increase my desire to just go somewhere and elope (which is what I always wanted to do--I've never been girly enough to dream about having a wedding day). So I'm having the freakin wedding in the first place to accommodate my family--shouldn't that be enough?? Apparently not. I foresee in the coming months, I'm just going to surrender the entire event to my mom and her friends and I'll just show up as needed. Sigh. At the end of the day I know I'll just give up--because I always do when it comes to my family (especially my mother), and I just want to get married to Dr. J with as little stress involved as possible.
In related news--we've picked a date. March 2008 it is!
The wedding of course turned things into an episode of the Style channel's "Whose Wedding is it Anyways?"! I've learned that "they" already have a church and reception site picked out for us in Hometown and the family is not too keen on the idea of our getting married in Gorgeous City. I knew it was going to be an issue, but I hate feeling like I can't even consider what I want to do for my own wedding. Dr. J has deferred to me on the issue of location. He's a pretty traditional guy and would probably prefer if we got married in the bride's hometown. But I of course am anti-tradition and I hate my hometown (it is just not pretty and there's not a lot to do there for guests who come from out of town). Gorgeous City is just that--beautiful. There are so many options here and it is not that far from home. However, it is closer to Dr. J's family so the perception is already that we are trying to accommodate his family but not mine. I already see me beautiful vision of a Gorgeous City garden house or beach resort wedding is being ripped away from me and that sucks. It is already starting to feel like every other major event in my life that hasn't been about me but about the family. But I can't really even "fight" for anything right now because Dr. J and I haven't started looking. I hope that when we do, we'll just absolutely fall in love with a place and that will be that--whether it is here or in Hometown. I just want it to be a place that we pick--not a location that everyone else has decided on and we go along with. That would really suck--it would set a bad tone for me for this entire event--and increase my desire to just go somewhere and elope (which is what I always wanted to do--I've never been girly enough to dream about having a wedding day). So I'm having the freakin wedding in the first place to accommodate my family--shouldn't that be enough?? Apparently not. I foresee in the coming months, I'm just going to surrender the entire event to my mom and her friends and I'll just show up as needed. Sigh. At the end of the day I know I'll just give up--because I always do when it comes to my family (especially my mother), and I just want to get married to Dr. J with as little stress involved as possible.
In related news--we've picked a date. March 2008 it is!
In a Knot
So the Mister and I have signed on to The Knot. (We don't have a personal page yet so I can't do even a brief reveal). The site is perfect for the person like me who needs to be extra organized and Dr. J loves it--he's the main one putting a flame to my behind to get started on this thing. You know, the planning for the wedding thing. But as I keep trying to express to him, it is hard for me to work without a deadline. And as of right now--we don't have a date. Ugh. It should not be this difficult to decide when we're going to get married. We know that to some extent, the date will depend on location availability (and we haven't narrowed down which city we're getting married in) and budget (and we don't know how much money we want to spend). But at the end of the day, I feel like those things don't matter very much. I need a freakin deadline to work with people. (Recall this dissertation--I need timelines).
Let me be more productive here. There are three main options:
Summer 2007: This is the expected/traditional choice. About a year from the proposal--maybe August.
Fall 2007: Given that we are both academics, a fall wedding would ideally occur sometime during a low-activity time of the semester--Fall Break, Thanksgiving, or Winter Break. Winter Break is the frontrunner in this option due to the extended time without class.
Spring 2008: Leaning toward some time around March so that we could honeymoon over Spring Break.
Now here is where things get complicated.
Summer 2007 (August):
Pros: 1) We get married as soon as possible. This is a virtually unbeatable pro and is the main reason summer is still a conversation. 2) Summer time means summer vacation--more friends and family can attend without a problem. 3) Summer time is a nice time for a honeymoon on the beach.
Cons: 1) Not a lot of time to plan--especially considering I am still figuring out new courses and Dr. J is navigating data collection issues at the moment. An August wedding would mean we would have to have some things lined up ASAP--which is a huge problem because one of the cities we are considering is a nationally known wedding site. 2) August is a peak travel/vacation time for the areas we are considering plus a popular wedding month--so prices will be up--availability will be low at the sites we are considering. 3) Dr. J is going to be starting his first full time academic job in 2007-2008--in a location other than Gorgeous City (formerly known as New School City). We will be at least 90 miles a part and I really don't want to get married and go back to living in two different places--especially if he takes a job out of state. 4) It is ridiculously hot and humid down here in the summer and I don't want to be in a dress with hosiery on--sweating. Not cute.
Fall 2007 (October-December):
Pros: 1) The weather will be a heck of a lot nicer. 2) It gives us more time to plan and save money for the wedding and for life after the wedding, while not feeling like it is a long time away. 3) It is not peak wedding or vacation season so we could have a lot more options and negotiate prices a lot better.
Cons: 1) At this stage, Dr. J is getting settled in to his first year and I know things will be hectic for him. 2) Let's keep it real--folks have tight budgets over the holidays and while it is not about the gifts--a sistah would like a blender or something! 3) Dr. J and I both have birthdays in December in addition to Christmas--do we really want to add an anniversary. 4) There is not a lot of time for a honeymoon and it would pretty much have to be over winter break. 5) We'd both have to report back to work in separate cities after the wedding for the rest of the year.
Spring 2008 (March):
Pros: 1) Allows the maximum time to plan--both for the wedding and married life--especially considering that right now we have no clue where Dr. J is going to be working. This would give us time to figure some things out--start a nest egg for the house--pay some debts--go through some couples classes together--all that good stuff. 2) The spring is a nice time of year and March is still ahead of the wedding season rush in this area (especially early March which is what we're thinking). 3) Because my institution has a gazillion semesters, I could possible work my courseload so that I am done by March--that way I could just stay with Dr. J for the rest of the spring and through the summer potentially.
Con: 1) It is far away. This is the biggest con on the board. 17 full months away seems like forever and neither of us knows if we can wait that long. 2) We don't know when spring break is going to be or if our institutions will have the same break--and do we really want to honeymoon on Spring Break? But beyond that, I can't remember if March had anymore cons--the first one just counts for like 6 or 7 cons by itself!
So that's where we are right now. I would probably like to make March work, but I can't commit myself to that--it is a long time away! We've given ourselves a deadline of Sept. 9th to narrow this down. We'll see how we do!
Let me be more productive here. There are three main options:
Summer 2007: This is the expected/traditional choice. About a year from the proposal--maybe August.
Fall 2007: Given that we are both academics, a fall wedding would ideally occur sometime during a low-activity time of the semester--Fall Break, Thanksgiving, or Winter Break. Winter Break is the frontrunner in this option due to the extended time without class.
Spring 2008: Leaning toward some time around March so that we could honeymoon over Spring Break.
Now here is where things get complicated.
Summer 2007 (August):
Pros: 1) We get married as soon as possible. This is a virtually unbeatable pro and is the main reason summer is still a conversation. 2) Summer time means summer vacation--more friends and family can attend without a problem. 3) Summer time is a nice time for a honeymoon on the beach.
Cons: 1) Not a lot of time to plan--especially considering I am still figuring out new courses and Dr. J is navigating data collection issues at the moment. An August wedding would mean we would have to have some things lined up ASAP--which is a huge problem because one of the cities we are considering is a nationally known wedding site. 2) August is a peak travel/vacation time for the areas we are considering plus a popular wedding month--so prices will be up--availability will be low at the sites we are considering. 3) Dr. J is going to be starting his first full time academic job in 2007-2008--in a location other than Gorgeous City (formerly known as New School City). We will be at least 90 miles a part and I really don't want to get married and go back to living in two different places--especially if he takes a job out of state. 4) It is ridiculously hot and humid down here in the summer and I don't want to be in a dress with hosiery on--sweating. Not cute.
Fall 2007 (October-December):
Pros: 1) The weather will be a heck of a lot nicer. 2) It gives us more time to plan and save money for the wedding and for life after the wedding, while not feeling like it is a long time away. 3) It is not peak wedding or vacation season so we could have a lot more options and negotiate prices a lot better.
Cons: 1) At this stage, Dr. J is getting settled in to his first year and I know things will be hectic for him. 2) Let's keep it real--folks have tight budgets over the holidays and while it is not about the gifts--a sistah would like a blender or something! 3) Dr. J and I both have birthdays in December in addition to Christmas--do we really want to add an anniversary. 4) There is not a lot of time for a honeymoon and it would pretty much have to be over winter break. 5) We'd both have to report back to work in separate cities after the wedding for the rest of the year.
Spring 2008 (March):
Pros: 1) Allows the maximum time to plan--both for the wedding and married life--especially considering that right now we have no clue where Dr. J is going to be working. This would give us time to figure some things out--start a nest egg for the house--pay some debts--go through some couples classes together--all that good stuff. 2) The spring is a nice time of year and March is still ahead of the wedding season rush in this area (especially early March which is what we're thinking). 3) Because my institution has a gazillion semesters, I could possible work my courseload so that I am done by March--that way I could just stay with Dr. J for the rest of the spring and through the summer potentially.
Con: 1) It is far away. This is the biggest con on the board. 17 full months away seems like forever and neither of us knows if we can wait that long. 2) We don't know when spring break is going to be or if our institutions will have the same break--and do we really want to honeymoon on Spring Break? But beyond that, I can't remember if March had anymore cons--the first one just counts for like 6 or 7 cons by itself!
So that's where we are right now. I would probably like to make March work, but I can't commit myself to that--it is a long time away! We've given ourselves a deadline of Sept. 9th to narrow this down. We'll see how we do!
Ch-Ch-Ch Changes!
It is a new semester and a new adventure in my life is beginning. So you know what that means--time for a new look for the blog! It's girly, it's crisp, and it's just about Tiffany Blue! It's perfect for the new direction for this space.
After I finished the dissertation, I found myself struggling to write--I felt myself going all over the place. That was especially difficult given that this blog started as so focused and goal-oriented. My time away from the blog has been good. I miss writing every day--I miss the community--I miss the time to sit and focus and think about my day.
So I'm coming back to blogging again. This time with a different focus--planning for a wedding and planning for a life with the wonderful Dr. J. This space will probably be much more personal than it was last year--and I think I am okay with that as it was already starting to move in a more personal direction. The one thing I think will be missing the most from this revised blog is that I won't talk so much about university life here. Life in academia will probably only arise as it relates to Dr. J and I preparing for our dual academic careers together.
I've realized that I need a different space to talk about university life--one with more privacy--one that speaks to a very particular audience--one that I can start after I've been on the job a bit longer. I've only been in classes for two weeks now (and it is going great and I love it), and I just want to take some time to experience it for a while before I figure out how to incorporate blogging into that aspect of my life. I know I'm going to want an academic space in the future; I already have questions that I would like to discuss/think through in a public forum type fashion. I especially would like to blend my interests in race and gender and politics into a blog--just not yet.
So for now, this is a new start. Welcome to my so-called engaged life.
After I finished the dissertation, I found myself struggling to write--I felt myself going all over the place. That was especially difficult given that this blog started as so focused and goal-oriented. My time away from the blog has been good. I miss writing every day--I miss the community--I miss the time to sit and focus and think about my day.
So I'm coming back to blogging again. This time with a different focus--planning for a wedding and planning for a life with the wonderful Dr. J. This space will probably be much more personal than it was last year--and I think I am okay with that as it was already starting to move in a more personal direction. The one thing I think will be missing the most from this revised blog is that I won't talk so much about university life here. Life in academia will probably only arise as it relates to Dr. J and I preparing for our dual academic careers together.
I've realized that I need a different space to talk about university life--one with more privacy--one that speaks to a very particular audience--one that I can start after I've been on the job a bit longer. I've only been in classes for two weeks now (and it is going great and I love it), and I just want to take some time to experience it for a while before I figure out how to incorporate blogging into that aspect of my life. I know I'm going to want an academic space in the future; I already have questions that I would like to discuss/think through in a public forum type fashion. I especially would like to blend my interests in race and gender and politics into a blog--just not yet.
So for now, this is a new start. Welcome to my so-called engaged life.
So Much To Say
(Understatement follows). This has been quite a week. Between the engagement, graduation, and faculty orientation, I am quite overwhelmed right now!
Many many thanks for all the well wishes on our engagement. I have enjoyed finding out all the things Dr. J was going behind my back when he was allegedly working on dissertation business. The story of him going to meet with my mother last Tuesday is a great one, but I don't have the energy to go into that now. Dr. J and I are doing great and trying to do our best to enjoy this time. Unfortunately he is already gone back to University Town, and I miss him dearly. These next few months of long distance relationship status are going to be rough but hopefully they will go by quickly. No wedding date is set as of yet, although we are looking at a 12-18 month window. I'm trying to keep planning and thinking-about-planning to a minimum right now.
School is getting underway here, and I am rushing to complete all the items on my to-do list. I am behind in a very un-Mon-like fashion. But I am enjoying meeting my new colleagues, and I think I am transitioning well into this new faculty role.
I have been thinking a lot about transitioning out of this blogspace. I have found it increasingly difficult to write here--for no other reason than suddenly this blog is a little "theme-less" to me. It was easy to write every day when it was just about the dissertation, but now that my life is turning in so many different directions, personally and professionally, this space feels very fragmented to me. There may be a wedding planning blog in my future as well as an academic one, but I really can't say right now. I do feel like I should keep an online space--especially after the delurking that went on this week (thanks to those of you who commented for the first time)! But I really need to figure out how, where, and to what extent I want to change my blogging. So when I'm sitting in boring orientation meetings this week, I'll have something to think about.
In the meantime, I was really touched to return to my blog and find this comment that was left regarding this post:
Many many thanks for all the well wishes on our engagement. I have enjoyed finding out all the things Dr. J was going behind my back when he was allegedly working on dissertation business. The story of him going to meet with my mother last Tuesday is a great one, but I don't have the energy to go into that now. Dr. J and I are doing great and trying to do our best to enjoy this time. Unfortunately he is already gone back to University Town, and I miss him dearly. These next few months of long distance relationship status are going to be rough but hopefully they will go by quickly. No wedding date is set as of yet, although we are looking at a 12-18 month window. I'm trying to keep planning and thinking-about-planning to a minimum right now.
School is getting underway here, and I am rushing to complete all the items on my to-do list. I am behind in a very un-Mon-like fashion. But I am enjoying meeting my new colleagues, and I think I am transitioning well into this new faculty role.
I have been thinking a lot about transitioning out of this blogspace. I have found it increasingly difficult to write here--for no other reason than suddenly this blog is a little "theme-less" to me. It was easy to write every day when it was just about the dissertation, but now that my life is turning in so many different directions, personally and professionally, this space feels very fragmented to me. There may be a wedding planning blog in my future as well as an academic one, but I really can't say right now. I do feel like I should keep an online space--especially after the delurking that went on this week (thanks to those of you who commented for the first time)! But I really need to figure out how, where, and to what extent I want to change my blogging. So when I'm sitting in boring orientation meetings this week, I'll have something to think about.
In the meantime, I was really touched to return to my blog and find this comment that was left regarding this post:
Anonymous said...I am greatly appreciative to this commenter for sharing this with me here, and it is certainly good motivation for me to reconsider why I blog and what I blog about. I am optimistic that I'll figure out my next stage for blogging soon.
i am writing to you from india - i am not a woman of color, here all of us are different shades of brown - but i am from a lower caste community. i could have passed off as upper caste, but somehow i took to interrogating caste in my academic life. i live in a upper caste dominated place. i still have not from my childhood to now, been taught by men or women of my caste. i cannot hope to find any for the next ten years also. today as i write this, i am very very sad. there is a conference going on here on caste and democracy and all the lower caste men and the upper caste women are conglomerating in different venues. i was left out of everything, mainly because i raise distasteful issues concerning mainstream academic politics. i cannot sleep and i cannot cry. i just sit here and read your blog and feel somewhat better. i know that in india no woman from my caste will write a blog like this - sometimes i wonder if i can go on, sometimes i promise myself that i will stay and struggle for all those coming up after me from so far behind. thanks a lot.
A Fairy Tale
A year ago yesterday, Dr. J and I went on our first date. We had been talking on the phone for hours for a little less than a week, and I was looking forward to this lunch with him. He was incredibly nervous (although it didn't show to much), but by the end of the day, we both knew that there was definitely something unmistakably magical between us. Although Dr. J and I generally remember the 4th of August (the first day we met), August 9th is our true "anniversary" date--it was the day we knew we were a couple. We had a talk not too long ago about if in the future we should "celebrate" the 4th or the 9th and decided on the 9th. So it was good to have Dr. J in town for this special day. His schedule has been busy this week with dissertation stuff (or so I thought), so it was nice to get our celebration started with a nice dinner Tuesday night (recipe to come B*). I had picked up a bottle of Reisling and also baked a lil chocolate cake, so Dr. J was surprised when he got in Tuesday night. We laughed and talked and danced together until the wee hours of the morning.
Yesterday morning, we were a little slow getting started--we actually slept for a while which was good. We danced to the anniversary song and got out and ran a few errands. We went to see Ricky Bobby and laughed as loud as we wanted because we had this big stadium theatre all to ourselves (it was about one in the afternoon). Our plan was to catch an early dinner at the first restaurant we ever went to here in New School City (a beautiful place on the waterfront). But right after we left the movie, a huge thunderstorm came up. It was pretty bad and delayed our dinner plans an hour. Fortunately, the restaurant screwed up our reservation time (they had us down for 7:00 instead of 6:00) so we when arrived, we were actually on time. Dr. J and I had a wonderfully romantic dinner--just like our first time there and the rain looked like it was going to let up, but it only did a little.
So we had a bit of a quandary. Our first visit to this particular restaurant was followed by a walk on New School City's famous downtown waterfront area. I really wanted to go down and sit at the pier so I said let's go anyway. It really worked out that it was raining because that kept the tourists away. It is a beautiful spot on the water where it is normally hard to get a seat (and it is a covered area so it was dry where I wanted to sit and look at the water). So although Dr. J was acting a little agitated about the rain, we finally got a parking space and got settled downtown at a nice spot on the water. The rain also meant that there was a cool breeze, so we just cuddled together and talked about what a great day and great year we had together. We were just floating in our own sweet confessions of love as Dr. J began to tell me how he wished the night could end--with our favorite group singing to us:
As we talked about how wonderful that would be--a perfect ending to our day, Dr. J began to deliver for me a beautiful poem about how much he needed me and loves me. When he finished, I was (I thought) floating as high as I possibly could be at that moment. It was just so wonderful to be sitting in the middle of a beautiful night with the man that I love by God's big beautiful ocean. And as I was all caught up in the moment, in his love, in the night, Dr. J suddenly dropped to one knee and asked:
Mon, will you marry me?
My mouth dropped open--I think I actually first said "shut up" because I couldn't believe it. I was in complete awe as I began to laugh and squeal and kiss him and say Yes YES YES!! as he slipped the most perfect ring in the world on my little little finger. It is perfectly classically me in every way:
And man it is hard to show in a photo, but this lil bling bling sparkles--it is just perfect for my little hand:
Yesterday morning, we were a little slow getting started--we actually slept for a while which was good. We danced to the anniversary song and got out and ran a few errands. We went to see Ricky Bobby and laughed as loud as we wanted because we had this big stadium theatre all to ourselves (it was about one in the afternoon). Our plan was to catch an early dinner at the first restaurant we ever went to here in New School City (a beautiful place on the waterfront). But right after we left the movie, a huge thunderstorm came up. It was pretty bad and delayed our dinner plans an hour. Fortunately, the restaurant screwed up our reservation time (they had us down for 7:00 instead of 6:00) so we when arrived, we were actually on time. Dr. J and I had a wonderfully romantic dinner--just like our first time there and the rain looked like it was going to let up, but it only did a little.
So we had a bit of a quandary. Our first visit to this particular restaurant was followed by a walk on New School City's famous downtown waterfront area. I really wanted to go down and sit at the pier so I said let's go anyway. It really worked out that it was raining because that kept the tourists away. It is a beautiful spot on the water where it is normally hard to get a seat (and it is a covered area so it was dry where I wanted to sit and look at the water). So although Dr. J was acting a little agitated about the rain, we finally got a parking space and got settled downtown at a nice spot on the water. The rain also meant that there was a cool breeze, so we just cuddled together and talked about what a great day and great year we had together. We were just floating in our own sweet confessions of love as Dr. J began to tell me how he wished the night could end--with our favorite group singing to us:
As we talked about how wonderful that would be--a perfect ending to our day, Dr. J began to deliver for me a beautiful poem about how much he needed me and loves me. When he finished, I was (I thought) floating as high as I possibly could be at that moment. It was just so wonderful to be sitting in the middle of a beautiful night with the man that I love by God's big beautiful ocean. And as I was all caught up in the moment, in his love, in the night, Dr. J suddenly dropped to one knee and asked:
Mon, will you marry me?
My mouth dropped open--I think I actually first said "shut up" because I couldn't believe it. I was in complete awe as I began to laugh and squeal and kiss him and say Yes YES YES!! as he slipped the most perfect ring in the world on my little little finger. It is perfectly classically me in every way:
I LOVE the details of the ring--I keep finding little things about it that I love:
And man it is hard to show in a photo, but this lil bling bling sparkles--it is just perfect for my little hand:
Dr. J knows he could have given me a rubber band and I would be happy, but it is so nice to have a man in my life who not only loves me right, but also knows me--knows my taste and knows how to make me grin like a giddy schoolgirl. We laughed, we cried, we just had a wonderful night out on the pier and of course, it stopped raining as we sat there. That gave us a chance to walk around downtown, make important phone calls, and duck into a nice restaurant for a little Riesling and dessert. We came home and danced some more, and in the surprise of the evening, I had forgotten to give Dr. J his anniversary present and card--which he enjoyed very much.
It was a day I'll never forget. I feel like a princess, and I'm not coming down from this cloud for a while. I can't believe so many things are happening in my life right now--I feel so lucky--so blessed. I never thought I'd be here. But it feels great. It feels like a fairy tale and I love it.
Good and Busy
I cannot say enough how nice it is to have Dr. J. New School City is his hometown, but it was so nice to hear him say he was coming home--to me. We stayed up until probably 7 this morning--just talking about all sorts of things concerning us. It has been a while since we've done that, and I'm starting to feel it now. Somehow I still had the energy to do a good bit of shopping and cooking today (and I hate to cook). I made a nice salmon dish with yellow rice--I should have taken a picture of it like B* and ProfMe--next time I make it I definitely will.
In any event, Dr. J has some dissertation business to take care of while he's in town, so I'm trying to use the moments we aren't together to get things in order for classes. Preparing for this new course (new to me) is becoming a bit more time-consuming than I expected. Especially putting together assignment descriptions. I tried to find some similar assignments on-line, but I haven't had much luck. So for the most part, I'm starting from scratch. But I have about 75% of that work done. I want to get everything drafted at least before I head out of town for graduation this weekend. (Congrats to Melyssa who is also walkin the stage!) Unfortunately, I haven't made much progress on the book chapter that is due next week--hopefully the approaching deadline will light a fire under my behind before the week is out.
In any event, Dr. J has some dissertation business to take care of while he's in town, so I'm trying to use the moments we aren't together to get things in order for classes. Preparing for this new course (new to me) is becoming a bit more time-consuming than I expected. Especially putting together assignment descriptions. I tried to find some similar assignments on-line, but I haven't had much luck. So for the most part, I'm starting from scratch. But I have about 75% of that work done. I want to get everything drafted at least before I head out of town for graduation this weekend. (Congrats to Melyssa who is also walkin the stage!) Unfortunately, I haven't made much progress on the book chapter that is due next week--hopefully the approaching deadline will light a fire under my behind before the week is out.
Time Why You Walk Away?
I really don't know where my time has gone this week. I feel like I've been moving non-stop and today am I doing a little crashin and burnin. Fortunately, this week has been very productive and has gotten me even more excited and motivated for classes to start in the coming weeks.
Let's see, where did the time go??:
Let's see, where did the time go??:
- I finished the majority of my unpacking. The sofa company replaced the torn couch that they delivered when I moved in, but when they brought my new coffee table, it was damaged as well. So I'm still waiting on a new table. Sigh.
- Something is wrong with my personal laptop. It won't read any USB devices and it takes forever for Windows to load. In attempting to save the files that were on it, I discovered that the CD Burner no longer works either. Fortunately, I have my new laptop from the school and I finally figured out how to upload all the files from my old computer to this one. I still have not been able to recover my lost dissertation files though.
- My graduation invites were a big hit with the grandmothers--I can't decide which one is the proudest--they are both walking around like peacocks. I got to see both of them this past week when I went home to get my hair shaped up.
- My regalia is very regal--It was delivered to my hometown address so my mother has been taking care of it for me. I love my robes--they are going to be a pain to wear in this heat, but I'm looking forward to walking in them next Saturday, and wearing them again in a few weeks for our opening convocation.
- All of my paperwork has finally been processed from HR, so I was able to get my new ID card yesterday and made my first trip to the library (where the nice librarians all called me Professor Mon). I'm still looking for a few texts for fall, but mostly at this point, I'm trying to finalize my booklist for my spring seminar.
- I'm also trying to get the sources I need to finish this book chapter revision. My co-author has completely left this in my lap (she's gone out of the country) and I'm struggling with what to do to make this work.
- I've learned that there are a few too many stairs to climb to get to my office. But I love being in my office. They are prepping it right now for a good cleaning, so I probably won't be in there much this coming week. I need to spend some time figuring out what I want to put on the walls. Part of me wants to put up some real militant Black posters, but I don't want to scare the children. Any suggestions on office decorations??
- I've watched quite a bit of TV since I've been here. Why did I sign up for all these channels????
- I had a wonderful time meeting some faculty members and students of color yesterday. There was a minority student program that I stopped in on, and I was given the opportunity to introduce myself to the students. It was cool to see their reactions to me--an combination of disbelief, excitement, and admiration. After the program was over, a few of the students in my major came to introduce themselves to me. More than anything else that has happened since I've arrived, meeting those students made me feel like I'm in the right place--like this is the one thing more than anything else in the world that I'm supposed to be doing right now.
- Dr. J and I met a year ago yesterday. He sent me beautiful roses yesterday morning and they are just gorgeous. It was rough not having him here yesterday--that was the only downside to this week. But fortunately I'll get to see him soon. We haven't been out on a date in a while, so I'm looking forward to us finding some nice romantic spots here in New School City. This city is known for its great food, so I'm sure we'll have a wonderful time trying out places while I'm here and finding "our" spot.
All of the business of the week has been great, but scary. This is just the beginning.
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