Engagement Update

Dr. J and I haven't spent nearly enough time together this semester. I can't wait until he comes home for the winter break! I saw him in October during a conference, and he was here earlier this month to take care of some wedding business. This included getting our engagement photos done (finally)!

I won't keep this up long, but if you want to take a look:

**Photos removed**

UPDATE: These are my favorite pictures ever!! Especially since I've started this whole rediscovering my hair process (it should be noted that this is probably my least favorite hairstyle of the ones I've tried so far). I just had to share--forgive the self-absorbed moment--but this is a blog after all!

We had no idea our photographer took so many good pictures--we have about 100 shots and I'm sure that there were some he threw out. I'm extra excited about our wedding day now--I think this was the boost we both needed. Both of our classes were extra lame today (day before break malaise) so we've been looking at our pictures between classes to keep our energy up!

Conference Review

I'm back in Gorgeous City (where the weather is still warm during the day) after a very chilly conference in Windy City. The conference was fun, but very busy. I didn't get much sleep so I slept for about 10 hours last night after my flight got in--it was much needed.

During the conference I:

• Presented three papers, all of which were pretty well received. One of the big names in the discipline responded to one of my papers and requested a copy of my dissertation. I need to get that to her soon.
• Attended a number of interesting papers and panels--one of which gave a call for papers at the end.
• Hung out with my Matron of Honor and her husband. It was SO great to seem them. I can't wait until they get to come South for my wedding--I always seem to see them in the Midwest or the West.
  
• Made a new friend--Meg (or at least transformed an acquaintanceship into a bit more)! While I was in graduate school, there was a woman in the department similar to mine who sent out an email asking for participants for her Master's Thesis study. I hooked her up with my students and encouraged them to participate for extra credit. Ever since then, we stayed in touch, but never really hung out. Her advisor works on projects with Matron of Honor's husband, so we always cross paths at conferences. But this was the first conference during which we've spent time together. We had a really good time and it is nice to connect with another woman of color who is also a second year faculty member.
• Interviewed with three schools. Two of the schools are within an hour of Dr. J, but at least one of those schools has a 4/4 teaching load, and so it is taking everything in me not to rule it out completely. It is the type of institution I would like to teach it--very similar to where I am currently, but the department is brand new (it use to be a part of a MUCH larger division). The third school that I had the best interview with is an R1 and I've found myself hoping more and more that they'll invite me to campus. It would mean Dr. J would have to relocate again (which I don't like the idea of), but it would give me a great opportunity to work with great colleagues and to be on the same campus as Meg!
• Ate out way too much. (But I had some wonderful desserts!)
• Didn't finish grading papers--which means I'll be up all night tonight so I can get these things back to them before Thanksgiving.

Now I'm suffering the consequences of a very long week.

Looking for Wedding Songs

I want my cousin to sing at my wedding, and I'm looking for a good song for his range that will sound nice with just a piano. I'm thinking about this song:



Any other recommendations?

Whining Moment: Job Woes

After going to a wonderful conference earlier this month, I was hoping to do a better job with research and writing during the second half of the semester. My efforts have pretty much been in vain, as I just can't seem to get caught up with my students this semester or avoid trips to Hometown for one wedding thing or another.

To add to my "issues" of the moment, I finally decided this week (or rather the deadlines finally motivated me) that I should really get my act in gear to apply for jobs for upcoming Major Conference. I've been putting it off--hoping that some miracle would occur for Dr. J to have a job here in Gorgeous City or for me to have one in River City. No such luck.

Suddenly, in writing a cover letter it becomes even more apparent that I really have no reason to be applying to institutions that are near Dr. J--several have high research standards and make that very apparent in their ads. I feel so completely underqualified and overwhelmed. I'm fighting every second the urge to just through in the towel and say why bother.

But being closer to Dr. J is definitely worth battling the immense feelings of inferiority I have right now in asking some of these institutions to consider hiring me based on "potential."

Tired and Pitiful

I'm exhausted. I've been working around the clock since I got back from the conference and seeing Dr. J. I feel like I'm never going to get caught up on grading. I'm about 2-3 weeks behind as it is, and I had a fresh new stack of papers waiting for me when I got back from the conference.

Sigh.

Much to blog about but I'm tired. Pitifully tired.

Committee Work

There is exciting news for my department--we have been approved to search for a new faculty member in my specialty area. As we are already the largest department in the college, I am sure there will be some moans and groans, but this will really help to meet student demands in specialty area. Now that I am teaching this new course this semester, more and more students approach me/email me asking when it will be taught again. So it is exciting to know that this will become a part of our regular course offerings.

But this news brings up two issues. This will be the second of potentially three searches we are conducting this year. My department is constantly searching and not even because we keep losing people--we just don't seem to ever stop growing. Of the three searches, only one is to replace a member who relocated--the other two are new lines. It just seems crazy to be searching all of the time to me--and I just got here. I wonder how the more senior faculty feel....

Oh and I've just been informed that I am on the search committee. I honestly don't know if I'm looking for a colleague or a replacement. I may or may not be around next year so it feels weird to be invited to participate in this process. Chair knows that my situation is still developing so I assume s/he is okay with this since s/he designed the search committee. But I just don't know how to feel about this yet.

Busy Wedding Weekend

I made a quick run to Hometown to handle some wedding business. Long story short, although our issues with the venue continue, we are making progress on finalizing the menu. It was tough going to the tasting without Dr. J being there. But since I wasn't completely satisfied with the chicken dish (too creamy), it looks like we'll have to schedule a second tasting.

Here's my favorites from the tasting:

A very very tasty vegetable and pepperjack cheese stuffed mushroom.

My favorite entree of the day (which may not be on the menu due to venue pricing changes) was the stuffed shrimp. Absolutely wonderful!!

Of course, we will be serving our wedding cake, but the menu comes with its own dessert choices. The best option was the cheesecake (with our choice of garnish--this one was a key lime and lemon scrape). So we have to make a decision--should we serve both cake and cheesecake and allow guests to choose? Or just go with the wedding cake?

That was part of my weekend. The other part was that I finally picked up our Save the Dates/Hotel Info cards and put down the deposit on our cake. So I've been obsessing about finding everyone's address today when I was supposed to be working on my conference paper. Sigh.

Getting it Together

It is wonderful how God puts certain people in your life at just the right time. This semester we have an amazing scholar in residence--a true pioneer in Black women's studies. I somehow mustered up the courage to ask her to join me for lunch, and we had a wonderful conversation today. In her questions about my work, it became very obvious that I have serious issues with my discipline that have kept me from sending out more of my work. She gave me a serious (but sweet) kick in the behind to get moving. But I also received from her something that I hadn't gotten anywhere else--affirmation that I'm not crazy! She has an amazing sense of the academic landscape and was able to confirm that yes, my discipline is a little slow when it comes to race and gender. But she was really able to help me see possible avenues to get my work out in my field, and also in other forums that might give me the feedback I need to strengthen my work within my discipline.

The timing of this conversation was amazing because just on Friday, for the first time in a long time, I had the desire to work on my own stuff. I've been making plans to work--plans to write for a while, but the desire--the motivation--has been gone. It is nice that it is finally coming back, and just in time for me to have this wonderfully inspiring conversation with a preeminent scholar who has truly been there--done that.

I have some serious work to do this semester--not just because I'm on the market--not just because I need in on my CV--but because I want to and I need to. My discipline needs some new perspectives and talking about my work with someone who knows so much definitely helped me see today that I do have new perspectives to offer. I just need to put pen to paper and get going! I just wasn't in a good place last year to invest myself in writing again. And I'm okay with that. I can't feel bad about it or call it a "loss" (which is how I think I have been thinking of the past year academically). Last year was a big transition for me in a lot of ways and I am blessed to be on the other side of that.

So here's to getting it together. Finally.

We Object!

After my recent post about "professional hair," I was surprised to hear about this Glamour editor who recently gave a presentation before a law firm.

First slide up: an African-American woman sporting an Afro. A real no-no, announced the Glamoureditor to the 40 or so lawyers in the room. As for dreadlocks: Howtruly dreadful! The style maven said it was "shocking" that some peoplestill think it "appropriate" to wear those hairstyles at the office."No offense," she sniffed, but those "political" hairstyles really haveto go.

Now, of course, I'm wondering why the editor of Glamour is speaking to this law firm, but in any case, this story is a trip. Law.com - Cleary Gottlieb Has a Bad Hair Day. Apparently there has been lots of reaction--I'm just a little late: Law.com - Bloggers Fan the Fury Over Hairstyle Advice to Cleary's African-American Lawyers.

technorati tags:hair

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Facing Week Three--Already

It is incredible how the first two weeks of classes have flown by already. I'm already exhausted and wishing that Fall Break was here. But I'm also feeling more confident--more assured about my classes. My Major Course, which I'm teaching only for the third time, is finally feeling comfortable. From its inception, it has been a fun course to teach--it encourages student discussion on a lot of current events. However, this semester I can already see that I am getting better at encouraging student discussions. I lead conversations less; I let the material dictate more. I'm more comfortable with getting off track. I'm more comfortable with throwing the class back on track when necessary. My use of technology is definitely more effective. And most of all, I'm having more fun.

My spirit is lighter this semester. Despite the fact that Dr. J and I are farther apart than every and I miss him terribly, I finally feel like each week down is one week closer to our marriage and our life together. Yes, that's always been the case--its not like the wedding date has moved--but it feels more real now. There is definitely something to his just being done with school and having a place that will soon be our home that makes everything all the more real. The light is finally appearing at the end of the tunnel.

But I digress, week three is approaching and I am looking forward to Specialty Course. I think I have overcome my discouragement about the last Specialty Course I taught. It helps to have more students in this course who are vocal--and the topic is more appealing to a broad audience. Still, the change is most apparent in the way I feel about teaching the class--even though I am not a practitioner in this area and it really isn't my specialty. I am, so far at least, enjoying the challenge and really trying to let my personal interests and excitement about the topic drive the course. I'm letting go of the areas I know little to nothing about and scheduling helps a great deal with that.

Now of course, this is all before any major grading is done.

Four Things

Just in time for a much needed break on HumpDayWednesday, I've been tagged by Ragey to tell you all four things!

4 jobs I've had in my life
-file clerk
-candy striper
-teacher
-retail sales

4 place I've lived
-Capital City, V A
-Middle of Nowhere, P A
-Hometown
-Gorgeous City

4 favorite foods
-shrimp
-sweet potatoes
-chocolate anything
-turkey wings

4 places I'd rather be
-in River City with Dr. J
-cruising along the Mediterranean
-San Diego
-on my honeymoon with Dr. J

4 movies I can watch over and over
This changes for me every month--right now I'm stuck on:
-Bewitched
-Monster-in-Law
-Cars
-Superman Returns

4 TV shows I like to watch
-The Closer
-Big Love
-Making the Band
-Flip this House

4 websites I view daily
-Gmail/Google Reader
-Chronicle Jobs
-MSNBC.com--2008 Candidates section
-WebCT

4 computers I have owned
-Apple IIe
-Acer
-Dell Latitude
-Dell Inspiron

4 people to tag
-phd me
-Tamika
-melyssa
-stewgad

"Professional" Hair

The best thing about summer for me has been the freedom to do whatever I wanted with my hair. I've stayed true to my goal of learning to work with my natural hair and this summer has truly put that goal to the test. My hair is really growing and the new growth is tight and THICK. I find it impossible at times to keep it moisturized because it just sucks in everything like a sponge. Some days it totally annoys me--it is thick and unruly and hopelessly unstyled. Other days I feel completely liberated--I comb it out into a big puff and just let it go wherever it feels like going that day. Dr. J has been wonderfully supportive during this process--he really doesn't care how I wear my hair as long as I'm comfortable and happy with it. But there were even a few days this summer I felt bad--wishing it could be "prettier" for him.

I've been making more frequent trips to the Afrocentric salon here in Gorgeous City and I've established a good relationship with one of the stylists. She is helping me think about ways to wear my hair for the wedding as well as teaching me about my hair. One of the problems I have with my hair is that I have a very itchy and flaky scalp. Through conversations with her and my cousin and aunt who are both physicians, I think we are learning that I may actually have a food allergy and that some of my issues with my hair and my skin--and even my bad cramps and stomach issues--may be connected to my diet (that's another post). So my stylist has introduced me to tea tree shampoo which works really well with my scalp and keeps in line with my natural goals.

My stylist braided my hair this summer (I can't believe it is thick enough to braid already!) and even gave me a little girly do for the week of John's graduation.

It was really cute and feminine but not really practical for everyday wear. Plus it required that she blow dry my hair straight and use a hot iron to curl it. That's okay for special occasions, but my very fine hair does not hold up well to a lot of blow drying and heat.

Now that school is starting back, I'm still looking for ways to manage my hair that are both practical and professional. I tend to wear more "business" style attire when I teach, so some of the unruliness my hair experienced this summer would just make me feel uncomfortable in front of a class. But of course, as I experiment with new styles, the idea of what is considered acceptable for business is in the back of my mind. I'm fortunate to be in a racially diverse environment, but that doesn't mean everyone is culturally sensitive. The 1980s and 1990s were filled with stories of business men and women being sent home for wearing braids or cornrows. And unfortunately, the incidents of brothers and sisters encountering "issues" at the workplace or at school because of their hair still go on today.

Take Six Flags:

No Cornrows, Long Hair At Six Flags

Eighteen-year-old Antonio Rowland lives in Bowie, Md., less than a mile from the Six Flags America amusement park. He's worked there every summer for the past three years. On Tuesday, Antonio was sent home. He says a supervisor complained his hair was too long.

Antonio lives with his grandparents, Carleta Roland a retired federal worker and John a retired DC police sergeant. They take pride in their grandson’s appearance and they feel managers at Six Flags have overstepped their authority with the grooming guidelines.

Some believe the park policy targets African Americans. At least twelve workers have asked the ACLU to get involved, after they were sent home with orders to cut their braids or cornrows.

Or the Baltimore City Police Department:

BALTIMORE -- The WBAL TV 11 News I-Team has obtained a new professional appearance policy for the Baltimore Police Department intended to promote a professional image, but it's also raising questions of racial insensitivity. The new policy is more specific than the old one. For example, tattoos must now be kept covered. However, the questions surround an issue that's been batted around the courts and company workplace policies for several years -- hairstyle."We just felt that over the years, some officers have taken advantage of the old general order and are not presenting themselves, while in uniform to the public, in the most professional manner possible," said Matt Jablow, spokesman for the Baltimore Police Department.

Like the old policy, the new one governs hair length, jewelry, mustaches and beards, but it also added a new standard -- extreme, or "fad," hairstyles are prohibited, including cornrows, mohawks, dreadlocks, and twists.

Three of the four hairstyles banned are almost exclusively used by blacks.

"I think it's incredibly insensitive," said Taunya Banks, a professor at the University of Maryland School of Law. "I'm really kind of concerned about labeling as faddish a practice that's not faddish at all, and what appears to be a targeting of black officers."

I hate that I even think about these things. I hate that I might avoid some styles more than other because of the hassles that might come. But I guess at the end of the day I already stick out like a sore thumb in my department, why not have some fun with my hair!

So here is where I am at the moment for the start of classes:

I'm looking forward to trying some more new styles. (And I'm open to suggestions!)

I Heart Obama's Campaign Staff

Ok, it is time to confess. Plenty of people have confessed their crushes on Senator Obama. He's a nice enough looking brother, but I haven't caught on with the crush movement.

But today, I realize that I have a serious love for his local campaign staff. They are just the coolest campaign people I've talked to this year. [And I've talked to quite a bit preparing for my new class this fall.] They really are.

Just had to be honest about that. Back to work now.

The Summer That Was...

I decided to use my last long weekend before school starts to spend some time in Hometown with Mom and to wrap up some more wedding business. Looking back over the summer, it seems that the wedding fared the best of all the things I needed to do. This weekend I booked our videographer, met another potential florist (waiting on a price estimate), and met with a wonderful woman who sells and creates invitations and programs. I'm really proud of the work that I've gotten done on the wedding and it feels good to know that by September, most of the big stuff is taken care of.

School work is a not-so-bad story. Today is really the first FULL day I've spent just grinding out work for my classes. I feel good about the work I've done today. I'm definitely going to be on autopilot with my Major Course--I've only made one change in the reading and jazzed up my WebCT layout a bit with my new technology skills. My new Speciality Course is organized--I worked on a lot of that through the technology seminar--but I still need to spend some time getting the content down in my head and preparing lesson plans. If I can get the first unit (four weeks) laid out before class next Wednesday, I'll be satisfied.

Writing, scholarly or otherwise, has suffered this summer. I could go on, but the thought of it depresses me. If I can get at least one of these articles off of my desk before I send off my first job application....

Speaking of which, the job search has been slow to start. I've been relentless searching the job ads again, but I haven't found one position to motivate me to begin the cover letter writing process. I know which schools I'm interested in, I just don't know if they are going to be hiring this year. Is it acceptable to send an email or letter expressing interest in a position that doesn't exist yet? I'm really interesting in a school that is just outside of the city where Dr. J is teaching--would it be a good move or a bad move to just send them a letter and CV??

I feel so confused about what to do next professionally. I even had the thought of going back to school. Imagine that. I'm definitely not looking forward to our first faculty meeting of the semester tomorrow where we resume our discussion of a very messy issue. Given that I'm going back on the market, I feel even less inclined to get involved in this debate and don't know how I'm going to negotiate this meeting. It should be interesting though, to say the least--interesting and LONG.

Goodbye summer--helllloooo school year!

Barry Barry Oh So Very

Golden! I'm so excited that I can't make one coherent thought--but here are a few on tonight's historical 765!!

It feels good to be a part of sports history and watch Aaron's 755 fall to my man Barry Bonds. As soon as the bat cracked, he knew, and we knew, it was G-O-N-E! And it was deep--435 feet! It was a beauty to watch and I'm glad Dr. J had the game on while we were talking so I could flip over each time Bonds went to bat. We all knew it was coming soon--and what a wonderful moment for Barry and his family and his fans.

No one has dealt with more persecution, more media bashing, more "guilty without being proven guilty" thrashings. I mean my goodness--how many times does a man have to test negative??? And one simple fact can't be stated enough--no one has been able to consistently hit home runs like Barry while being WALKED more than anyone else. His opportunities to even get good pitches are so limited, making this feat even more amazing.

I am proud of this brother for doing what he loves--playing baseball. He could have given up a million times--he could have shrunk back into the shadows. But he held his head high and kept going--regardless of the critics. His longevity is unparalleled. At 43, he is still the most feared player at bat (as his walks this season alone reaffirms). Imagine at 43, being able to play a professional sport better than people half your age. Amazing.

And let me add this on an extremely personal note--in an age where Black homegrown players are being phased out for more affordable international imports (not just in baseball, but also in basketball), it feels good to see the record go to Bonds. I hope this will continue to inspire young Black boys to pick up a baseball and learn the game. Baseball has so much more long term potential than football, which a lot of Black men migrate towards (especially here in the South) and it would be lovely to see a resurgence of Black baseball players. [Dr. J has really got me thinking about the way the NFL loves to run Black bodies through the ringer for next to nothing when compared to other professional sports and the toll that the sport plays on their bodies without any sort of reasonable health plan. I digress.] I hope that despite the overly negative commentary on Bonds there will be some new faces in baseball soon.

[Dr. J keeps promising to start a blog to talk about these issues--I hope he will soon because he is right on when it comes to analyzing issues of race, class, and gender in sports.]

Also, I was hoping that Aaron would not buy into this media hype (because that's all this "we hate Barry" stuff is) and support Bonds. It was good to see his recorded message tonight passing the torch to Bonds--good move Aaron. But tonight is Barry's night.

Congratulations Barry Bonds--man--you did it!!

You are now the authentic record holder.

And I for one am very very proud of you!!

Is This Me?

Hot and Soakin Wet!

I know I'm not the only one saying this today, but man it is hot outside.

I went outside to vote in a local special election and was assaulted by the heat the moment I opened the door. The school where I vote is right next door so I was surprised, but not discouraged as a few rain drops started falling as I turned the corner to go across the street. I was going to walk, but decided I'd go to the grocery store after I voted. I was glad I had my car because when I walked back outside, there was a serious summer thunderstorm going on. Sheets of rain, just hammering the ground. I had to make a run for it. I got soaked. Now normally, I'd be pissed. But it was so hot that the rain was just the right temperature. I'm back at home waiting for the rain to pass and drying out. I just checked the local station, hoping to see that the temperature had dropped outside with the rain. But of course, it is still blazing hot. A sizzling 99 degrees--heat index of 111. I hate the thought of going back to school in this kind of weather. Or trying to drive my car back to Hometown this weekend in the heat. Hopefully this wave of weather won't last too long.

Aimless

It is hard to be at all focused with Dr. J so far away. I woke up much later than I wanted to today and have just been floating around the house rather aimlessly. Except for the moments I've been on the phone with my honey, I really haven't gotten much accomplished.

Dr. J has had all kinds of relocation hassles today.

1) Of course, the movers aren't there today.
2) Since I did most of the driving when we were in River City last month, he got turned around pretty easily and lost his way to his new place. Fortunately, I was able to help him find his way via phone.
3) The person working in the leasing office today was a ditz--she gave him the wrong keys to move in.
4) After he finally got the correct key, he walked into a FILTHY, unfinished unit. (Keep in mind that this was already the third unit he'd been assigned. The one we'd originally picked out on our visit was suddenly unavailable after we left. The second unit he was assigned was changed just last week when the manager did a walk through and decided it smelled too bad with cat pee. So imagine our disgust to learn that this third unit was a mess!)
5) He had to wait an hour for the manager to show up and work to resolve the situation.
6) The manager showed him another unit in a better location that was brand new, but of course they haven't finished painting it yet. So Dr. J won't be in his apartment until Tuesday. Fortunately, the corporate office was able to put him up in one of their furnished executive units at another complex for the weekend.

Hopefully the movers will arrive just in time for his return to his unit on Tuesday.

Now that I'm done worrying about him, the day is just about over here! I'm going to try to be a little less aimless. I have some work to finish for a magazine and I need to clean up because Mother is coming down tomorrow to help my cousin relocate. But goodness I miss Dr. J and could use a few more days to just mope and wander around my place.

Just Like That

He's gone.

Dr. J is on his way to River City--a whole day's drive away.

I put on my big girl face to see him off, but now I'm falling apart. I miss him already.

We Have Music!

It pays to have a Mom who knows everyone. Thanks to a friend of Mother, we have a band for our reception!! We definitely were planning to go the DJ route (preferably a young, friend of a friend type DJ) to help shave some expenses on the big day. A band just seem to be way to expensive. But Mother came through and got us information on a group she heard perform at a friend's church. Dr. J and I listened to a sample CD last Saturday when we were in Hometown and fell in love. The music was a mix of gospel and R&B/Soul with a wonderful range of instruments--keyboard, sax, flute, bass, drums--and a beautiful vocalist. We were hooked on the music, but Mother's memory of the price to book the group discouraged us. We almost didn't call at all, because they seemed way out of our range. But we are soooo glad we did call. We talked to the group's leader and he quoted us an AMAZING price for live music during the cocktail hour and reception dinner as well as DJ services for dancing and partying after we eat!! This price is incredibly sweet--even lower than quotes we've gotten for video, other DJs, heck, even for cake!! I had to ask him twice if I heard him correctly! So it was a wonderful confirmation to see everything in writing today and I'm excited that we are going to have real music for our wedding!!