Sometimes it feels like a bad reality TV show around here. Yesterday, my place became the site of an HGTV "Design on a Dime" by my mom and our family and friends. They did a nice job adding some new touches to my place and rearranging the furniture--but goodness I am tired after all of that. My mom's friend Deb has a great eye for home design and event planning so she is coming back down to Gorgeous City in a few weeks to help me pick out some more accessories for my place. She is also going to be the go to woman for the wedding if we don't hire a consultant.
The wedding of course turned things into an episode of the Style channel's "Whose Wedding is it Anyways?"! I've learned that "they" already have a church and reception site picked out for us in Hometown and the family is not too keen on the idea of our getting married in Gorgeous City. I knew it was going to be an issue, but I hate feeling like I can't even consider what I want to do for my own wedding. Dr. J has deferred to me on the issue of location. He's a pretty traditional guy and would probably prefer if we got married in the bride's hometown. But I of course am anti-tradition and I hate my hometown (it is just not pretty and there's not a lot to do there for guests who come from out of town). Gorgeous City is just that--beautiful. There are so many options here and it is not that far from home. However, it is closer to Dr. J's family so the perception is already that we are trying to accommodate his family but not mine. I already see me beautiful vision of a Gorgeous City garden house or beach resort wedding is being ripped away from me and that sucks. It is already starting to feel like every other major event in my life that hasn't been about me but about the family. But I can't really even "fight" for anything right now because Dr. J and I haven't started looking. I hope that when we do, we'll just absolutely fall in love with a place and that will be that--whether it is here or in Hometown. I just want it to be a place that we pick--not a location that everyone else has decided on and we go along with. That would really suck--it would set a bad tone for me for this entire event--and increase my desire to just go somewhere and elope (which is what I always wanted to do--I've never been girly enough to dream about having a wedding day). So I'm having the freakin wedding in the first place to accommodate my family--shouldn't that be enough?? Apparently not. I foresee in the coming months, I'm just going to surrender the entire event to my mom and her friends and I'll just show up as needed. Sigh. At the end of the day I know I'll just give up--because I always do when it comes to my family (especially my mother), and I just want to get married to Dr. J with as little stress involved as possible.
In related news--we've picked a date. March 2008 it is!
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4 comments:
I bet it feels good to have a date on the calendar!
Is there any way you can just refuse to talk about the wedding with your family until you have a better idea of what you want? Then maybe you can say, firmly but pleasantly, "We've already decided on X and we're very happy with it."
It's such a stereotype for the bride's family to go nuts over the wedding and basically shut the bride out of the whole thing - but I can't tell you how many of my girlfriends had to endure it! Good luck, Mon; just keep staring at that lovely ring until you can stare at Dr. J. ;)
Oh, I'm sorry you are having issues with your family already. I hope your family eventually understands that this wedding is for you and Dr. J and they realize that ultimately it is what the two of you want.
It is good that you have selected a date!
So, March 2008 it is. Great I have time to find the perfect outfit! LOL! On a less materialistic note...families can be stressful--you just have to do what you have to do in this whole process. Sounds like you guys are on the right track, taking sometime to prepare yourself for marriage. That's what it is really about--not the wedding day itself. I'm sure everything will work out and you'll be happy in the end.
Wow, I'm glad you shared this, I got engaged about two months ago, and I can definitely identify, my fiance and I had to just take matters into our own hands, my visions never seem to quite 'match' my mother's ideas, too many other people were getting involved, with so many questions and suggestions it was starting to feel like everybody was planning/had already planned a party that i was just supposed to show up to, well hope things work out for the best
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